welcome to my channel to new and old ,,,,, if you can please give me a SUB and HIT that LIKE button please @BLOKIESGUILD_UK if you like my content it would help me out a lot ,,thanks

@somedumbozzie1539

20 күн бұрын

You have made my day I saw this when it first came out and have been trying to find it on YT since it first started. Australian diplomats used to sit around in hotel rooms that they knew were bugged doing the same thing to torment the local secret services.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

20 күн бұрын

@@somedumbozzie1539 why thankyou ,,

@petersz98

18 күн бұрын

That was hilarious!

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

18 күн бұрын

@@petersz98 i know ,,all the best comedys were back in the day

@eastnorfolkboy

17 күн бұрын

I’ve written dud cheques, been involved in deception, committed armed robberies, I’ve even served a prison sentence. But this a fabrication, a fairy tale, there I was behaving innocently when the police entered and start planting illegal substances on me, what a fraud!, as soon as he sees my face he’s spreading heroin all over me, well I try to open my mouth and speak in his ear and he’s stuffing the material into my pocket. Then of course I am apprehended, arrested and the handcuffs are applied. Well sir, this is not my line of business, ask anybody in my locality I’m not a heroin dealer I trade in stolen property. Sergeant? Well sir, I was in my patrol area in my car when I received a telephone call, so I went on foot to the pub along with my partner. I overheard a conversation which involved criminality so naturally I go in, now he has pre-empted my arrival so I enquired to the African behind the bar who told me he has fled into the lavatory. Now I know he is not in there defecating and sure enough, there he was gloves on his fingers, pockets full of heroin, evidence all over his person conducting his business passing heroin to a client. Sir, this man is not a trader in stolen property he is a well-known heroin dealer. Constable can you verify this? Certainly sir, this offender has a grudge against the police. I knew him when he was in Clapham selling illegal alcohol. Alright he doesn’t carry a weapon, he is not violent, but he usually has heroin hidden in his underpants and you do not need a body probe.

They were so clever. RIP Mel Smith

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i agree indeed they were one of the best actors of the time

@peterbushby9009

10 күн бұрын

Nick ball ..r I p

I used to know the author of this sketch, Mark Cullen, quite well; he once told me that whilst the majority of the cockney rhyming slang in it was - vaguely - accurate, some of the more outrageous conceits ("Concrete trampoline", "what a load of Stilgoe", "elephant all over his Oedipus") were additions by the series script-editor, Jimmy Mulville, specially to create conversations exactly like this posting has provoked over what they meant! Mark also mentioned that, since they were all nice Middle-Class white kids they had absolutely no idea just how offensive "the macaroon at the pumps" in this context could be and that if he could go back, that was the one he'd remove.

@KrappiTheClown

10 күн бұрын

That makes so much sense.

@urbanwarrior3470

6 күн бұрын

"the macaroon at the pumps"...? It's the "Strangling the darkie" that killed me...

@KeithBurtons

2 күн бұрын

@@urbanwarrior3470 Also known as 'silvery moon'....does that help?...;0)

Griff’s reaction makes it brilliant.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

yep i know right ,they don't make these classic comedy sketches like this any more

@simonm7133

Ай бұрын

I agree. It is Griff's baffled expression that makes it so funny.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

@@richardplume3212 i had to research what mutz meant and there are several meanings but the one i will go with is always very good

Wonferful 😂😂😂 Nobody can pull a face like Griff for being totally dumbstruck . Brilliant ❤

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i know its classic and always funny

I just have to put this out there: in the early 80s, I was in the U.S.A.F., a Military Police, stationed at R.A.F. Chicksands, not far from Hitchin, and Bedford. One evening I was assigned to the guardhouse (guard gate, base entry point) it was quiet, and nothing was going on. Then, this rather short, old man came out of the shrubs, which was odd, and walked up to the guardhouse, where i stood behind the open window. He grinned at me, (as opposed to 'smiled') and was obviously a bit tipsy, and then started asking me questions, and talking in 'stanzas,' all of them rhymed! I was already good at the various accents from around the area, but for a while I thought I might be losing my mind! Im telling you, he stood and 'goofed' on me for five minutes, then gave a little salute, and went back into the bushes! I tried to tell some of my mates, and they didnt really understand/believe me. Today, may 17th 2024, is the first time ive heard that strangely strong, sing song slang slung since! Insane.... 😅

@CRAIG5835

29 күн бұрын

Hi from New Zealand. It is called Cockney Rhyming Slang and is spoken here in NZ and also in Ozzie although not as much as in the UK and mainly by the guys on the rough side of the tracks as it were. The co-releation being I think that we are Commenwealth countries and as such have traditionally had UK ex-pats deciding to live here. We are the same size as the UK, they have 60 odd million where Kiwiville has about 6 million. As Billy Connelly said 30 years ago during a gig somewhere in the world..."I was down in New Zealand doing a Tour...there's nobody there!" We have gained over 1 million people since that tour but the EMPTY sign still stands proudly.

@Skipjack7814

29 күн бұрын

@@CRAIG5835 thanks, I was an avid reader since I was a kid, and knew (more less) what 'Cockney' meant, and i had even watched a million hours of Monty Python. AND had been in England for about 8 months. While there I heard so many shades of accents, some easily understood, some not, but again, "WHAT THE HELL?" The old guy wasnt 'up to tricks,' didnt want anything, just 'passing the time of day' as they say in the American South. Being a bit perceptive, i was pretty sure he was amusing himself at my expense, but i was so stunned and delighted i just laughed! Id give a lot to have recorded the short 'conversation,' but no. Thanks so much for clarifying, for the last five years, i started wondering if i hadn't dreamt the whole thing!

@David_Watts

29 күн бұрын

RAF Bentwaters/Woodbridge checking in!! '85-'88 @Woody base A-10 crew chief with the 81st TFW/581st AGS/ 91st AMU GO Blue Streaks!! Time of my life, 19 years old, not a care in the world...givin' large to English birds! Living in Ipswich, Suffolk, clubbing at Olivia's, Butt's Wine Bar and all the pubs! Baba's kababs after the pubs shut. TDY to Germany (Sembach) and Bodø Norway, 40 miles above the Arctic Circle..going to North London to help a buddy find his cousin who lived with 6 other girls, going to PolyTechnic!! Clubs in London!!! England in the mid 80's was AMAZING!! Made excellent money with Rent Plus. Had a £742 BT phone bill for talking an hour at a time; paid it off in 3 payments! Lived in a huge row house built in 1910! Gas central heating was radiators all over the walls! 😆 Those were the days, my son!! Wish I still had my mukluks...

@David_Watts

29 күн бұрын

Look up Cockney Star Trek!! Bleedin' hilarious!!! 😂

@andrewguthrie2

28 күн бұрын

​@@CRAIG5835 It's popularity 'down under' may be because rhyming slang was a code for the criminal fraternity to keep their activities secret from the police, and you know where we sent all our convicts 😂

It’s mental that nobody has ever sat me down and taught me any of this, yet I understand every word lol. I am English but you don’t realise what we sound like until somebody points it out 😂

@dancarter482

26 күн бұрын

Gore-blimey guvnor - you avvin a geerarf?

@MRAPEXPREDATOR1

26 күн бұрын

Tin barrff! 😂👍

@jameswatson5807

25 күн бұрын

You understood every word how is that possible.

@HooDatDonDar

20 күн бұрын

Just use yer loaf.

@jonnamechange6854

9 күн бұрын

@@MRAPEXPREDATOR1 A Turkish

I tried to translate the sergeant's speech. This is my best guess. "Well sah, I was down my manor (neighborhood), in the jam jar (car), I gets the bell (call). So I shanks's (walks) with the bubbles (Edit: constable) down to the boozer (pub). I earwigs (overhead) the conflab (argument), had a bit of GBH on the earholes (heard violence). And naturally I go in. Now, he has done a concrete trampoline on me right (he's completely disappeared). I talk to the macaroon (black man) at the pumps (bar), he says he's done a flyer (run away) into the benghazi (toilet), well I know he's not in there parking his breakfast (having a shit) don't I? Sure enough, there he was, turtles (gloves) on the melodies (fingers), skyrockets (pockets) full of charlie (cocaine), elephant (drunk?) all over his oedipus (sex? - this doesnt make sense), doing his biscuit (ecstasy?), sliding a skag (passing heroin) to some John (client). Sir, this man is no partridge (lone criminal), he's a well known tablecloth (drug dealer)."

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

29 күн бұрын

thats near as it will be translated well done and thanks so kindly for translating this because there was a few who wanted this translation

@timwingham8952

28 күн бұрын

"Bounced a few Gregories" is bounced a few cheques (Gregory Peck - cheque although it's usually rhyming slang for neck) By the way, GBH on the ear 'oles just means someone giving your ears a hard time - shouting, yelling, talking too much etc.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

28 күн бұрын

@@timwingham8952 i thought know what it all means ,,lol

@naugrith

28 күн бұрын

What does "elephant all over his oedipus" mean? That was the one I couldn't figure out for the life of me.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

28 күн бұрын

ahh now i dont know what it all means just stuck on this ) all over his oedipus (sex? - this doesnt make sense)

Hahaha....thats just great. Im a manc my wife is American when her family visit i get the grj look whenever i say anything...spot on

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

4 күн бұрын

awesome

This is beyond brilliant......even though as an Australian, I didn't understand a word of it. Sadly...demographic change is London will be be end of Cockney slang. Les Griffiths

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

6 күн бұрын

thanks appreciated ,,ohh there is some kind people that have translated what has been said in the comments then you will have some idea

The look on Griff’s face is the icing on the cake in his super brilliant sketch.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

3 ай бұрын

yes i agree with you and these classic comedy sketches from back in the day will always be the best and nobody can make any better than this ,

01:03 "what a West Ham eh?" West Ham Reserves = nerves. What a nerve eh?

"... squeezing a Malteser.." 🤣🤣😂😂😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

14 күн бұрын

its always good when you squeeze a malteser or park your breakfast etc in the morning ,,lol

@Charlie_Crown

14 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK I know, I'll be dropping the kids off at the pool later myself 😆👍

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

14 күн бұрын

@@Charlie_Crown ,lmfao

Absolutely brilliant. And the look of confusion on Jones face sets me off. Thanks for sharing this.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

12 күн бұрын

i agree it is brilliant and no worrys

my era im 59 now RIP Mel..and I understand what he is saying.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

22 күн бұрын

hi same as me im 59 also and its my era

Bengazi is a khazi. As an anglophile Canadian, I get about 1/4 of this.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

nice one

@carolineoates5964

23 күн бұрын

Khazi/toilet/bathroom/John/WC/Watercloset/lavatory/lav/small room. I could go on but you get the gist!😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

23 күн бұрын

@@carolineoates5964 i know all the slang cos im a Londoner myself ,its just call of nature,,lol

@HooDatDonDar

20 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK One of those old ‘Carry On’ films had a character called ‘ the Rajah of Khazi’. Wonder how many got it overseas?

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

20 күн бұрын

@@HooDatDonDar lol i wounder

Squeezing a malteser 😂😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

lol ohh i know we all do them every morning or any time of the day,lol

@robertjsmith

Ай бұрын

Train in the station,more like.or a tortoise tail.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

@@robertjsmith lol

@porno6361

Ай бұрын

Dropping the kids off at the pool

" I'm bein' fitted up like a toff at Tommy Nutter's" Utterly, ineffably exquisite...know wot I mean!

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

3 ай бұрын

it is the best sketch of all time and the cockney rhyming slang will never go out of fashion because it confuses the crap out of people who dont know it and it make me have a giraffee

@klondike444

12 күн бұрын

So Tommy Nutter was a Savile Row tailor.

Brilliant, brilliant sketch! Writing and acting along with that deft timing makes this a true classic ❤

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 ай бұрын

thats very true it is truly a classic sketch

not man UNCLE picked up on mel saying MACAROON MMMM NAUGHTY LOL

I love the way Griff Rhys Jones just looks at them. He doesn't understand a word 😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

7 күн бұрын

i know its just classic

Squeezing a malteser 😂😂😂

@urbanwarrior3470

27 күн бұрын

That one killed me...

@calicaocat

26 күн бұрын

That was about the only thing I understood as a Dutch, as I know Maltesers.

Rip nick ball

"Squeezing a Malteser." just cracked me up!!!

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

12 күн бұрын

it is so funny

@martinraxyz

12 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Indeed!!! 😀

Not seen this before.Brilliant.Great talent.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

thanks for finding my channel and commenting ,i agree just brilliant

He is a well-known tablecloth!

@dfcvda

22 күн бұрын

and you dont need a daffodil.

Born and bred South London I understood all of it. 2:08 “I talk to the macaroon at the pumps”. 😂😮

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

10 күн бұрын

cool,,i think 2;08 part of the sketch was the favorite of quite a lot of comments

Absolutely brilliant…they did so well to remember the script 😂

The look on the Inspectors face is so perfect, so funny

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

8 ай бұрын

it does it is so funny, the classics i remember

excellent!!!! great sketch. of course he was at the quacks,with a bit of trouble with his khyber.turns out he's got a nasty case of farmer's.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

10 күн бұрын

haha lol farmer,s, farmer Giles ,piles or haemorrhoids ohh its one of the best ,

@jonnamechange6854

9 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK the chalfonts

Understood prob 85%. Proper Diamonds. Lol

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

3 ай бұрын

its the best language there is, confuses the crap out of people that dont know the slang

I'm from London and I can assure you some of this is made up, its supposed to be indeciferable, for comedic effect.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

27 күн бұрын

im also from london

@elkiebeerepoot5829

26 күн бұрын

I'm also from London, but I'm not so sure. My sister understood cockney and in the early sixties a lot of Londoners (in the right area) didn't understood a lot of English by foreigners. Some even never met a Scot before. It was polite to as, with a cup of tea, if you had a Scottish accent. (Not speaking about veterans, of course.) This was more than sixty years ago.

@TomWright025

22 күн бұрын

I thought so lol. I swear I’ve never heard some of these lol 😂

@somedumbozzie1539

20 күн бұрын

Australian diplomats used to sit around in hotel rooms that they knew were bugged doing the same thing to torment the local secret services.

@HooDatDonDar

20 күн бұрын

@@somedumbozzie1539 There is a similar scene in Robert Heinlein’s novel about an occupied America, ‘Sixth Column’. Some people do the American/ New York version of this to puzzle the enemy bugging them.

"Not many, Uncle"

Wetting myself laughing 😂. We paused video and translated as best we could for our teenager. Tablecloth, partridge, hahaha.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

23 күн бұрын

i know it can get a bit mind boggeling if you dont know the lingo,lol

@carolineoates5964

23 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK The Sweeney Annual 1976 has a bit of Cockney Rhyming Slang in it. Wasn't terribly useful though for this sketch.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

23 күн бұрын

@@carolineoates5964 the sweeney was ok

Great time to grow up the 70s/80s.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

23 күн бұрын

i couldn't agree more , was the best times

@billhesford6098

21 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK We sort of like our young years, I think. Happy days.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

21 күн бұрын

@@billhesford6098 to right

This is brilliant even after so long.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 ай бұрын

i do agree the old british classic comedy scetches wil never die

@damienomen68

Ай бұрын

Better than last weeks....

'E has dun a Concrete Trampoline on me, right?' 🤣🤣🤣

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

18 күн бұрын

lol E has

Jam jar is a car, shell like is an ear etc obvious, but did hazel say "what a load of Stilgoe" referring to Richard Stilgoe, which means a Richard i.e. Richard the 3rd which is a T_ _ D

@bobblue_west

29 күн бұрын

I'd like to see Alan Turing crack that code.

@BlueDogSlim

23 күн бұрын

Hazel. Great series

@jakartaman3365

9 күн бұрын

It was indeed..Late 70's as I remember. And a cracking theme song at the end sung by Maggie Bell.​@@BlueDogSlim

The always watchable and entertaining Nicholas Ball there, latterly of Hazell fame.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

14 күн бұрын

i agree

I’m surprised it’s only just occurred to me another aspect of the sketch/joke is that many of the words (particularly at the end of a statement/paragraph) are deliberate ‘red-herrings’ & not slang, at all. It makes the sketch even funnier, for me, as a Londoner/Essex boy.

@guitartommo2794

Ай бұрын

He’s a well known tablecloth😂

@ricardolorrio8228

Ай бұрын

I was wondering if this was all Cockney

@hideouslyugly

Ай бұрын

I've never heard of a lot of them, and I'm from London. What's a tablecloth slang for?

@andrewhunt9519

29 күн бұрын

Where's the tinker , tailor ,soldier ,spy, ...pxxs take by mel and griff.

@David_Watts

29 күн бұрын

Oh aye...I mean, what the hell has a bloody TABLE CLOTH got anything to do with it!? Blimey! 😆🤔

Glad to see this sketch, I thought it only existed in the Smith and Jones Instant Coffee Table book!

@greatwestern101

7 күн бұрын

It's like an episode of Minder! 😅

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

7 күн бұрын

thankyou ,glad that you enjoyed it

I actually understand almost all of that. Brilliant. Very funny.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

5 күн бұрын

To right they are brilliant

@thethirdman225

5 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Forwarded it to a few old Chinas in me manor while getting me Barnet trimmed. Hopefully I’ll score a Wellington at the rubbity tonight.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

5 күн бұрын

@@thethirdman225 thats ok no problem but hopefully you will a load of sausage and mash down the battle cruiser ,lol

Nick Ball, Jim-jim 'imself!

@davidmorton3222

18 күн бұрын

Hazel

Absolutely brilliant, sadly missed.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

21 күн бұрын

i have to agree ,wont be forgotten

Jafaican is the Lingua Franca of London now - know wot I mean bruv ?

Rest in peace Nicholas ball.

I am a Londoner, and even I don't understand most of what is said here....

@eastnorfolkboy

Ай бұрын

The language is a classic mix of rhyming slang, police jargon, australianisms and polari, it is so so clever, this humour has never been equalled, it was common talk when I lived in London in the sixties and seventies but sadly it has all but disappeared.

@marasmusine

Ай бұрын

That's because you're not a known tablecloth.

@ricardolorrio8228

Ай бұрын

@@marasmusine ?

@marasmusine

Ай бұрын

@@ricardolorrio8228 As opposed to a partridge, if that helps.

@user-bv5lc1nf5d

Ай бұрын

@@marasmusine He hasn't had his Barnet Fair cut.

I still refer to the wife as "trouble and strife".

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

26 күн бұрын

thats good

@concrete trampoline" I stayed with it as long as I could, but lost it there.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

concreate trampoline probably means he ran off ,done a runner but The phrase “concrete trampoline” doesn’t have a direct meaning in standard English.

@Vigula

26 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK if that's the case maybe because it rhymes with fled the scene. Thanks for posting the vid btw.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

26 күн бұрын

@@Vigula no problem

He talks to the macaroon at the pumps🤣🤣

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

18 күн бұрын

indeed he does ,lol

@mrknobchopps

18 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK what is a macaroon?

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

18 күн бұрын

@@mrknobchopps well you put a comment with laughing icons so you know what it is slang for

@ianallen8305

12 күн бұрын

A macaroon is a black man a c..n missing letters oo got it.

Genius! 👍

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

7 ай бұрын

I must agree perfection and genius

🤣🤣🤣 very funny👏👏👏

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i agree it is very funny

marvellous!

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

26 күн бұрын

it is init

He’s great in national lampoon’s European vacation 😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

19 күн бұрын

yes he was and grif rys jones and mel smith was also good in the film morons from outer space

@jrb1802uk

19 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Have you seen Wilt? Both are hilarious in that too. RIP Mel. Sorely missed.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

18 күн бұрын

@@jrb1802uk i have heard of wilt but i haven't watched it

The Beatles song "Helter Skelter"? Indubitably pre-eminent. It's the sound I've always ever wanted the Beatles to have. (Same applies to Pink Floyd's "Nile Song"). Oh - - - LOOK OUT!!!

The Bill was never this funny!

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

well no the bill was a drama series and not meant to be funny ,but this is the ultimate classic comedy cockney police sketch and nothing will ever beat it

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

@@richardplume3212 haha lol ,

some of it is real and some made up for comedy purposes but it's really funny

@eastnorfolkboy

17 күн бұрын

None of this is made up it is 100% real, a mixture of rhyming slang, polari, cockney malapropisms and police jargon. Forty years of genuine London slang condensed into four minutes. Nobody alive could script this today, these people were Oxford educated and it shows. Classic English humour at its very best.

Nicolas Ball was amazing

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i agree but still is amazing actor at the ripe age of 77 so he is still alive

@paullancaster7066

Ай бұрын

That's 'im, guvnor...that 'Hazel' geeza!

@russellwarr3791

7 күн бұрын

Is he the same in Alexei Sayle's The Three Johns Sketch, one of the John's?

Hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

you cant beat a bit of good old British comedy

never thought ide seen a intro that shows manifestation on a not the nine o clock news sketch, lol awesome

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

4 ай бұрын

it is awesome .well infact all the not the nine oclock news series and the film morons from out of space and mell and griff series back then was as you say always awsome

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

3 ай бұрын

ohh and the intro is mine i put together ,you cant have a video and not have an intro and a outro ,it don't look professional ,sorry its a late replay

"collar-feeling", being collare; manor is one's neighbourhood; parking his breakfast is elimination of digestive system contents; charlie is prob. cocaine; a snowman deals it.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

thats right you got it

the sad thing is i got 90% of that off the top

Classic Comedy sketch from a fantastic tv show

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i agree it is a fantastic classic tv series

At woz Jimmy ' Azell ...winnit ? Not many unk il !

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 ай бұрын

haha lol

Some of this is/was genuine slang of the era but much of it is made up for comedy effect. i understand completely everything he's saying though.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

5 ай бұрын

nothing much i don't know about good old cockney rhyming slang ,im a Londoner myself ,

Anyone reminded of the film 'The Limey' ? !

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

12 күн бұрын

nobody has only you because the film the limey although it has British actor in it has no resemblance to this comedy sketch

@mrb.5610

12 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK You need to watch it, matey !

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

12 күн бұрын

@@mrb.5610 thinking about it i think i ave watched it ages ago but i don't remember it

@mrb.5610

11 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK The clip I'm thinking is on KZread - Terence Stamp is talking London to an American police officer .... who doesn't understand wtmf he's talking about ..... Saw it recently and it put me in mind of it - that's all.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

11 күн бұрын

@@mrb.5610 ok that makes sence i shall have to watch it again ,all good

Lock Stock vs. Brass Eye.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i don't think brass eye comes nowhere near the brilliance film making of lock stock,,

@bigmacntings7451

10 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK oh i don't know, some of brasseye was VERY near the knuckle. they sent up the "slebs" even worse than ali g.

when they were allowed to be funny

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

TO Right ,,the old classic comedys were the best ,you wont find any comedys like that today

@hanselmansell7555

21 күн бұрын

What are you talking about? If this wasn't 'allowed' KZread would delete it. Your point is? 🤔

Not the Nine o’clock News was brilliant as was Alas Smith and Jones - RIP Mel. It’s a shame we don’t get much sketch comedy any more, or probably none, due to budget cuts. I been watching them since the late fifties, but times change.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

12 күн бұрын

it is a shame all the British comedys were the best back in the day and its all gone woke now

I think I understand what he was accused of.....

So this where Mike Meyers and Michael Caine got it from. Find the graveside sketch, Not My Teeth.

This is how all Londoners sound to me

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

10 күн бұрын

ERM not all Londoners sound or speak like that and it depends on what part of London they are from

I have some friends who are not native English speakers who only speak very limited English who I sometimes translate old comedy sketches for them and overlay subtitles on the videos for them in their native tongue. I would have no bloody idea how to translate this piece.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Күн бұрын

i was going to say there are a few kind GEEZAS who took the time and translated this whole sketch in the comments but i just copied it to you.... I tried to translate the sergeant's speech. This is my best guess. "Well sah, I was down my manor (neighborhood), in the jam jar (car), I gets the bell (call). So I shanks's (walks) with the bubbles (Edit: constable) down to the boozer (pub). I earwigs (overhead) the conflab (argument), had a bit of GBH on the earholes (heard violence). And naturally I go in. Now, he has done a concrete trampoline on me right (he's completely disappeared). I talk to the macaroon (black man) at the pumps (bar), he says he's done a flyer (run away) into the benghazi (toilet), well I know he's not in there parking his breakfast (having a shit) don't I? Sure enough, there he was, turtles (gloves) on the melodies (fingers), skyrockets (pockets) full of charlie (cocaine), elephant (drunk?) all over his oedipus (sex? - this doesnt make sense), doing his biscuit (ecstasy?), sliding a skag (passing heroin) to some John (client). Sir, this man is no partridge (lone criminal), he's a well known tablecloth (drug dealer)."

@matthewlloyd3255

Күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Thanks...although what I meant was more along the lines of - in order to keep the humour I'd have no idea what the equivalent of Cockney Rhyming Slang is in Traditional Chinese! Yeah - the dialogue can be explained as to what it means, but trying to translate into something that retains the humour and diction of the original...bloody impossible.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Күн бұрын

@@matthewlloyd3255 well it seems to me like you are digging to deep matey ,its only a comedy sketch and there is full of humour and funny and if you dont understand the translation of it in Lamens terms of English and you can't compare it to any other language because the English language after all is universal and the best,lol

Very funny even though I only got about 1% of it (native English speaker too). We need a bilingual dictionary for people like me. 😆

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

26 күн бұрын

hi there are some people that have done a full translation cockney, to normal English in the comments below if you wanted to know

@skathwoelya2935

25 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Oh, thank you. I must scroll further!

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

25 күн бұрын

@@skathwoelya2935 no problem

Think Corbett's did this first😊

@ilokivi

27 күн бұрын

Ronnie Barker’s sermon concerning the bricks and mortar, trouble and strife and Richard III is the benchmark for all Cockney based sketches. May the memory of Messrs Barker and Corbett with Mel Smith rest in peace.

Guy Ritchie obviously seen this

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

5 күн бұрын

probably

Nicholas Ball was married to Pamela Stephenson at the time.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

yep i believe you are right i did read that also

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

@wiccanwarrior9 to right she was a bit of allright

@thereunionparty

Ай бұрын

And Pamela Stephenson was in Not The Nine O'clock News with Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones.

@davidtydeman1434

Ай бұрын

Nicholas Ball starred in detective series called Hazel

@KeithHays-ek4vr

Ай бұрын

- She wasn't a tablecloth. - She was a well known napkin! 😊

I may have stumbled across some shortcomings of the Norwegian school system. My English is not quite up to this....

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

20 сағат бұрын

hi i know most people cant understand but if you look down the comments theres a translation if this sketch

@NigelHatcherN

8 сағат бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Not all english understand cockney rhyming slang, I am one of them.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 сағат бұрын

@@NigelHatcherN well i know not everyone doesn't understand it ,,,,didn't i say ..lol

Clear as mud guvna

Griff is a legend. How did he keep a straight face? Much of the slang was made up. 😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

i know it probably took many takes to get it right

@chriswatson7965

Ай бұрын

The slang wasn't made up. This video has been posted elsewhere and in one of the comments there was one post who explained most of the cockney jargon, with the thread that followed explaining the rest. I wish I could remember it.

@mojo2968

Ай бұрын

@@chriswatson7965 do you know the name of the video with that comment?

@chriswatson7965

Ай бұрын

@@mojo2968 Unfortunately no. It was a quite a number of years ago and it may not even be up any more. That's also made me realise that given how dated this clip is there may not be many people left who could interpret it.

@chriswatson7965

Ай бұрын

@@mojo2968 I found this one "Rhyming Slang 2 the MAX Alas Smith and Jones". In it someone posted that a great deal was made up, based on what they read from one of the actors. There are attempts at translation also.

I am visiting England at the moment and I swear I heard the same conversation trying ta order a patsy and find the lou

@Ranger1200

23 күн бұрын

Sorry Pasty.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

23 күн бұрын

good init

Griff.

Classic

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Жыл бұрын

sorry for the late reply , and it is a classic , thanks

Ahaaaaaagh!!!

Yeah its hyped up with some made up stuff ,,still good tho ! ... Guy Ritchie films Snatch . & Lock Stock & two smoking barrels have some good slang in them !

Brilliant ! The only thing missing was Sir Stanley Unwin ?

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 ай бұрын

yes you are right it is brilliant you dont get comedy like this any more and stanley unwin had a language all of his own Unwinese

@jimmorrison5493

Ай бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUKdeep joy

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

4 ай бұрын

i do agree if S.Fmeans (so funny) ,only the best comedy CLASSICS were good back in the day

Jim Morrison. Sociology.

😂

What am i botulism toxin? 😂 its 1 minus 69, init?

I do like this detective however. 23 ambulances. Where does he get that from. Who in the LAS control room was in on the conspiracy

Is it worrying that I understood everything Mel Smith’s detective character said?

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Жыл бұрын

And so do i .why the hell do you have to be worried about a classic comedy sketch for ,its comedy

@razzle1964

Жыл бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Don’t get me wrong, it’s fuckin’ funny; I’m Essex born with Canning Town / Bethnal Green parentage (one was always a shithole & the other is probably still a dodgy manor) - but, it also makes me realise how I must sound to my posh, Austrian in-laws, or the daughters’ in-laws down in Cornwall (mind you, THEY might as well be talking Welsh, sometimes). It was just like watching the Sweeney as a kid.

@razzle1964

Жыл бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK oh, soz … I think all my settings a private. Mainly folders of comedy, curio, prog rock, gig vids & other tosh. I haven’t got anything of interest, tbh.

@ianowen3157

8 ай бұрын

Could you please send me a translation of this please. I understood some it. Lmao. Great sketch.

I would like to know what the intro tune is.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

well what i can gather the intro tune what i used is called among the stars by JOHN KLIME hope this helps

Who is the guy talking in rhyming slang? I recognise him but I can't place him.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

Ай бұрын

hi phill the actor is called Nicholas ball who had a tv series called hazell ,great legendary actor

Goldnugget.

This language should now be protected by law. Its dying out with every rubber boat that arrives with illegals.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

26 күн бұрын

i do agree but cockney rhyming slang will never die out to true cockneys

@jjharson7344

17 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK but true Cockneys are dying out.... I know as I am one... forced out into Essex and beyond. The real East End is not what it used to be... some of this isnt real cockney either as others have pointed out, Gregory Peck = Cheque is not Cockney rhyming slang they made that up for the show, but it is in the spirit of the slang, so they get a pass for that one but Kite is the correct term for a cheque.... it's a long story why that is so feel free to take a gander and you can pretend to be a bottle if ya like!!!!!! (Gander as in goosey gander from the nursery rhyme) which equates to long in the neck enabling you to have a good look around.... the other accepted term is "to have a butchers" - butchers hook = look, and bottle means two things too, bottle stopper = copper as in a policeman - bottle also means confidence but that's paired with glass as in Bottle and Glass = arse ie: "his arshole went" so he lost his bottle..... if you are a cockney you know which context to understand what is meant by bottle..... it usually means no confidence left these days. The Police is usually pigs these days, but such phrases as "can you smell the bacon around here" means there's police in the area... 😂😂

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

16 күн бұрын

@@jjharson7344 yes i know but thanks for pointing out what i already know ,,lol

@jjharson7344

16 күн бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK fair enough, but others might not know, and I tried to write that in an entertaining manner, I used to love Not the nine o'clock news too, the "I love Trucking" song was brilliant and legendary as I'm sure you'll remember.

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

16 күн бұрын

@@jjharson7344 sorry if my comment was a bit rash i apologise to you but im British and say it as it is and hopefully no harm is done, but if you was trying to write that for everybody's entertainment you shouldn't of addressed that to me you could of just left a comment ,its all good matey ,i was just pointing out and saying in general

Squeezing a Maltese. Sound a bit rough to me..

Lmfao

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

3 жыл бұрын

good init

@troysgaming2091

3 жыл бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK Yep!

For a strange experience, turn on the subtitles in Dutch.

I miss old comedy 🙄

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 ай бұрын

yes thats true but i think we all miss the classic original comedy that was in our era,, memories eh,,

@WisdomQuotesLife-sw3xk

2 ай бұрын

@@BLOKIESGUILDUK The bomb disposal sketch was always one of the best. I still watch all the old comedies, the new ones just can't match the quality. I sound like a grumpy old sod nowadays : ))

@BLOKIESGUILDUK

2 ай бұрын

@@WisdomQuotesLife-sw3xk nothing wrong with being grumpy and old ..lol