When i find something i always make sure to keep looking for it so it's not in the last place i look

Billy got fired from the banana factory today…. He kept throwing away the bent ones

My wife tells me I'm too American, and that she was divorcing me... I said I saw that from a kilometer away

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a parking lot.

I got fired at the bank today an old lady told me to check her balance.. so pushed her over

2 tomatos were competing, Tomato #1 was losing. His Family and his lettuce and onion friend said. LETTUCE ROOT for you so you can KETCHUP.

I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to be a winner. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

kid: im cold. dad: go sit in the corner its 90 degrees

Who do you call a Mexican guy who lost a car? Carlos.

What did the sea say to the second sea , nothing it waved.😂😂

What did the guitarist for Primus say to the bassist when they walked into a bar? Les play pool 😂

"Tommorow morning is a half day, the other half is in afternoon"

“I’m 7 years old!” “Hi 7 years old, I’m Shiva.

I tried to make up a joke about ghost but I couldn't. It had plenty of spirit but no body.

My wife told me she was gonna leave me if I sing believer one more time at first I thought she was joking but then I saw her face

Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?" The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."

How do trees go into the internet They log in!

When I was little, I had this friend in school who lived on a farm. We were pretty close but his parents were very strict about sleepovers until one day, after begging his dad for weeks, he finally let me sleep over at his house. I was so excited! He had this border collie that they were training to herd sheep. As cute as he was he was not very good at his job. Me and this kid were eating ice cream in the afternoon when we saw the dog try to herd the sheep but instead it scared one of the sheep so bad that it fell over and had a heart attack. I then preceded to perform SHEEP-PR!

Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.

My wife asked me to get 6 cans of sprite at the store. When I got home, I realized I had picked 7 up.

Someone asked me if the train was running late. I said “ I’m pretty sure trains run on coal”

My wife told me : what starts with a ‘F’ and end with a ‘r’ I told her : no it doesn’t

what do you say if you lose 25% of your roof oof

Turn out I'm colorblind, news came out of the purple

@Fishingdudes-zf9dc

28 күн бұрын

Also lost my job at the bank. Women asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over

Why did the kitten cross the road. To get to the MEWsem

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9…

I used my discount card on to clean the floor but I only got 10% off

So when I get to school there is always a organized work of people who wanted to beat me up That’s the punch line

What keys are required to open bananas? Mon-keys

Dad: What is the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? Me: I don't know. Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

what did one plate say to the other plate. Dinners on ME

So two guys go into a restaurant the waiter asks do you want a box for that food one guy says yeah I think I can take you

Billy said dad I needed a car and I said you have one he said where upstairs he said dam

You have to go with the original Dad I’m hungry Hi hungry I’m dad

i got hospilized due to a peekaboo accident they put me in the icu

My dad left so i go play minecraft 24/7 and i love New update

If you go in the bathroom American and you come out of the bathroom American what are you in the bathroom European

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there.

What's the difference between a rooster and a crow? A rooster can crow but a crow cannot rooster.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says you the other Does this taste funny to you?

If your English when you go to the bathroom and English when you leave the bathroom what are you when your in the bathroom Yourapeein/ European

What’s the difference from a snowman and and snow women Snow balls

Bro is biased

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it’s apparent 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Why did no one laugh at the farmers joke? Because it was too corny.

Please pin me

Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.