i’m not religious, but i grew up christian. i’m autistic and lgbtq and i can’t tell you how often each day i feel like there’s just something inherently wrong with me. what a powerful song.

@silverishfoxie667

2 жыл бұрын

there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, you’re perfect ❤️

@probably_noah9417

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, you are amazing love, I believe in you, you got this. You are worth the whole universe, try not to forget your worth

@lolaauty

2 жыл бұрын

i’m bi and autistic but i’m still christian i feel as those these things bring me closer to god

@nilanavesa

2 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k3qGysiip7C6dZs.html a song i wrote for my future self :(

@yellow-ish4200

2 жыл бұрын

@@lolaauty yeahh.. I feel that too.. Well, maybe we're not the same but.. I feel like these are pulling me farther away from God like others out there. I hope you don't loose you faith because that is the scariest thing actually.

as someone with body dysmorphia, the line “when i look into the mirror for too long it hurts” makes me feel so represented and understood.

@wyntertheicewyvern6226

4 ай бұрын

I also have body dysmorphia, so I get it.

I didn't even grow up Christian, I grew up Muslim but this still deeply resonates with me.

@marissaeirdeena9642

2 жыл бұрын

lmao same

@avocadehoes5866

2 жыл бұрын

same-

@anonyya4086

2 жыл бұрын

Same. I'm losing faith but it feels lighter. I want to, someday, leave the religion successfully.

@gwraves

2 жыл бұрын

This comment replies is sick. Guess theres still doubt in born muslims, shaytan is guiding you to do bad things. I genuinely hope u wake up before its too late, take care.

@janesvoid4051

2 жыл бұрын

Same ;(

*do you ever see someone and think "wow they got lucky"?* this one lyric put into words the amount of envy i feel for others in my life, struggling with a brain that hates itself. others being able to just do stuff of their own volition. and now im in a body that i don't belong to.

@aria2055_

Жыл бұрын

damn it felt like you read my mind and feel what i feel because thats exactly how i feel and i never knew how to explain it, I would just push away and tell myself that i was being selfish and that i couldnt be like that because i was always told that i couldnt feel this or that because im too young know what that is or that im just looking for attention

As someone who grew up in the Christian church and struggles with chronic illness, this made me bawl the first time I heard it and now is my breakdown crying song because it rings so true for me

@thedepressedavacado8267

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry if this is invasive but are you no longer Christian? ❤️ (btw I’m atheist so this isn’t me trying to bring you back if you aren’t)

@BB-uz8pn

2 жыл бұрын

Wow as someone with chronic illness this song hit me hard aswell and I didn’t know anyone else would relate this way. The line “if Jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind the body I’m in” I cry everytime at that because I’m upset my body doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.

@kyahjoy9609

2 жыл бұрын

STOP THIS IS ME AND IM CRYING

@zombrz

2 жыл бұрын

@@thedepressedavacado8267 Jesus loves you !!!! and always will

@thedepressedavacado8267

2 жыл бұрын

@@zombrz no he doesn’t. I don’t believe he’s real so please don’t try and convince me, you won’t

As a Christian who struggles with an ED+a lot of body image issues, this one hit hard.

@kathelineuvela7361

2 жыл бұрын

Same 😔

@ells.m

2 жыл бұрын

I'm not Christian and this still hit hard. Hope you're doing okay

@marinlesch9366

2 жыл бұрын

yeah

@klepperproductions

2 жыл бұрын

Right there with you.

@tayemitchell7029

2 жыл бұрын

@@ells.m of course, being a Christian specifically doesn’t impact somebody’s struggle, I hope you’re doing okay as well!

Growing up thinking the slightest mistake would drag you down to the deep depths of hell was really something I love this song

@caseycampbell4787

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, it really sucked. I was slightly scared all the bad things I do would all be in this book bc I think I heard that mentioned, and I'd somehow end up in Hell if I was bad enough. I was raised Catholic but now am not part of that religion, for that reason and they don't support the LGBTQ community.

Felt this. I have a older sister who’s so gorgeous. She’s always had everyone’s attention. She has the body I wish I had. My shoulders are so broad, I gained weight so easily, I get body acne a lot. No matter how much I skip meals, how many times I shower and shower and shower, no matter what I do; my body never looks good. I can’t wear anything without looking in the mirror and examining every fat fold, every bump and lump in my hips and thighs. No friends or family calls me pretty. I’m just always nice. That’s all I can really be. I know being called pretty isn’t the biggest compliment; but just once I want to wow someone. I just want someone to reassure me that I am pretty…but no one does and I’m forced to try and pick myself up. But it’s hard. Idk I have so many flaws. Sometimes I just think that maybe I’m not really worth anything…

@Ashley_Graves_1

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, MakeMeSmile, you are pretty. You are cute. You are beautiful. You look so amazing in every way.

@jacquelinelewton

2 жыл бұрын

Im so sorry you have had to deal with the burden of feeling inferior your whole life. Im so sorry this world is so fucked up that bone structure means more than how one human treats another. Im so sorry you hurt like this. And im so grateful for youre presence here. Im grateful for your vulnerability and your comment. Im grateful because i hurt, too.

@elizabethb.7763

2 жыл бұрын

But just once I want to wow someone" dang I felt that so fuckin deeply 😭😭 it hurts to be "average" in a society that praise physical appearance and puts everyone that looks like a model on a pedestal! Like influencers literally get millions of followers and tons of money just by being there and by being pretty if that doesn't tell you what our society is about... it hurts I played a game with my friend and it was like "what would I steal from you" and I was saying your eyes color, your hair color, your sense of humor and for me she just said my creativity and other qualities, like no physical attributes, it hurts when your genes weren't on your side. I mean I get called pretty sometimes but I never know if they're just being nice I wish I knew I was pretty for sure you know. I felt your whole comment and this song in my core. 💔

@briaribbons4072

Жыл бұрын

You are not your sister. And thank everything for that. You're you and you're worth every compliment and time. Don't let anything make you feel like you aren't pretty. You don't have to have those things to be pretty. It's not just corny to say you're beautiful because you are you. Because it really is the truth. You're everything you are on the inside and outside. All of it is pretty.

@trinityignagni41

Жыл бұрын

I feel this

I was raised a Christian, every night I would pray, pray my soul out to be a happy little girl... this song hits hard because I had a really tough childhood.

@urmom-hk3of

2 жыл бұрын

me too :( i'm still struggling with my relationship with Him, but i'm working through. idk if you're still a Christian, but i really hope that you find yourself. that you heal from your trauma and that you find your own happiness.

@naomi-lk3id

2 жыл бұрын

@@urmom-hk3of i‘m sorry girl :( God loves you so much. I hope you do better now

@fifi5852

2 жыл бұрын

@@urmom-hk3of your doing so amazing girl, i’ll be praying for you. sending you all my love

@gachalegends8057

2 жыл бұрын

Me too, I mean I’m still a child but it’s been rough

@nilanavesa

2 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k3qGysiip7C6dZs.html a song i wrote for my future self :(

As someone in the LGBTQ+, I was raised in the Catholic Church where I was told constantly that being gay is a sin. This resonates so much with me

@doemarino5708

2 жыл бұрын

my situation too, every time i look at my religious teacher i just remember our sexuality lesson, where she completely denied and rejected any orientation besides straight and cisgender

@shealabowers5080

2 жыл бұрын

Same. I grew up evangelical/baptist. There is no hate like Christian “love”

@Runawayslave2023

2 жыл бұрын

Feelings are not a sin. Sometimes acting on them is.

@ccaptaindavid

2 жыл бұрын

@@shealabowers5080 I am sorry you were treated that way. Christians are still human, they make terrible terrible mistakes. Let Jesus talk to you ❤️

@mefolupeter7436

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry but it is tho....and christ can help you change it

im Christian and it breaks my heart to see so many people who’ve experienced religious trauma. sadly, so many people have twisted religion into something hateful and it’s affected so many people. religion is hard to understand if you’ve only experienced the hateful side. i don’t blame anyone for feeling this way. i belive because i have experienced God, but i know not everyone has and that’s okay. sending love to everyone who feels this song deeply, no matter how it resonates with with you

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate the fact that you come with love and don't push your beliefs onto people. I appreciate that greatly.

@aya123444

2 жыл бұрын

I agree. Sometimes, even after feeling God, I believe their wicked version of it... :(

@xaddy_issues

2 жыл бұрын

I am apart of the seventh Day Adventist Church and I whole heartedly agree. As a Christian we should not hate others no matter who they are. Even if we do not agree with them we should still be kind and loving. It hurts me to know that there are people out there who have be hurt by our people.

@maggieleppla2005

2 жыл бұрын

Love the sinner hate the sin

@aya123444

2 жыл бұрын

@@maggieleppla2005 most can't do that. Most of you use that but as judgment. It's a stupid sentence. What about be compassionate to people and their process?

i love how all the ex-christians and Christians are just bonding instead of yelling at each other. i have faith in humanity

i remember the 13 year old me praying and begging for Him not to make me a homosexual after hearing the preaching about being gay's a sin. preached by my own father. this song hits different to me.

@cottagebirder

2 жыл бұрын

Same. Im atheist now, wish i had this song growing up

@sazbear3913

2 жыл бұрын

Listen to the song ‘heaven sent’ by Parker Millsap, it might resonate with you x

@lilmissamberr

2 жыл бұрын

that's actually heartbreaking :(

@kelsnucleus4119

2 жыл бұрын

We're on the same page, when I was 14 I cried a lot everynight and prayed for him to fix me or to like get my free will, make me his. but I realized he doesn't care at all

@aaaduccs6667

2 жыл бұрын

not me doing the same in the shower because i had a massive fat crush on a girl in my class and i was told it was wrong

I need this in a 1hr loop so I can maximize my crying

@milesberkhof

2 жыл бұрын

go to spotify settings and pick a fade in and put the song on repeat!!!

@KimberlyJho-ann

2 жыл бұрын

go to the screen, then click right... press loop.

@rissan7532

2 жыл бұрын

Put on loop, three dots and you'll see

@kelsieburnard5041

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@local__frog9811

2 жыл бұрын

If your broke like me and don’t have Spotify but have Apple Music there’s a button that will replay the song until you stop it

I was raised catholic. I was led to believe that God makes miracles happen, and saves us from things. Where was he when I was sexually assaulted? Where was he when my family blamed me for it happening? Where was he when I was seven?

@jannatpreetgill5564

2 жыл бұрын

Oh my God I'm so sorry you had to go through something so traumatic and also I hate your family but hey you're beautiful and strong and worthy . Let nobody tell you any different

@lalaeatinagotdamnburger3416

2 жыл бұрын

God doesn’t just save everybody from everything. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works, and I’m sorry if you’ve been mislead to believe that. Sin is pervasive and affects everyone differently; some worse than others. What God does do 24/7 is heal. Don’t let false “Christians” paint your picture of Christianity. Praying for your mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. 🙏🏾❤️💜

@sayursorryand3478

2 жыл бұрын

@@lalaeatinagotdamnburger3416 but well God knew it would happen and it's just unfair. It's a seven years old kid. "He has a purpose for everything", but what in the world was the point in this wtf Does he have to make someone suffer so they gonna crawl his way begging for love and comfort? Sounds kinda narcissist

@2Rachel2

2 жыл бұрын

@@sayursorryand3478 Id say for how i was raised inthe catholic church its not that god did anything to you or planned it out to make you miserable, but that humans have freedom to choose to act through free will. Humans will hurt others, and through god we can hope to heal from things other do and what we ourselves may do and regret. I'm glad growing up my mom was clear things are like fables in the bible just meant to convay a moral way to live, and that we all have the ability to do evil. Its not god (or a sense of higher beings) that creates evil, just people.

@Saloli6184

2 жыл бұрын

I was also raised Catholic. I am a decedent of survivors of multiple genocides. Which were done in his name. I have seen first hand the generational harm it caused. I was also violated as a child something no one should have to go through. I deal daily with both physical pain and depression/PTSD. I often felt like an outsider for not being enough (I'm of mixed ancestry) of one or the other for my own people. I know this is a lot, but I just wanted to help show you you're not alone.

“got ample mental illness and personality flaws and their only flaws seem to be that they have none at all” as a christian who struggles with severe depression and anxiety this line really resonates with me. some christian’s think that mental illness isn’t as serious as it is and yea, so i just really relate to that part.

@taylerstanick2395

2 жыл бұрын

"Pray it away" they say. God knows and empathizes with our struggles more than people do. Thats all that matters.

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

@@taylerstanick2395 Odd, he sympathises more and has the power to change it but doesn't. Almost like it's all made up BS to make you feel better and to garner money and power from the weak-minded thought slaves that are bred into it and kept there with fear and a dangling carrot of paradise after you die.

@piperhewetson5618

2 жыл бұрын

@@pluribus3362 i understand where you’re coming from but we all suffer with mental health or mental illness in some way in life. in the bible it even says we will suffer, and that an unhappy spirit would come upon us. not because God wants us to suffer, but because of the world we live in it’s bound to happen. but the bible ALSO says in roman’s 8:18 “the pain you have been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s to come” just have a little faith in God, he has everything worked out. God bless you

@ahemwut2599

Жыл бұрын

It hurt like heck, but I'm glad I was depressed. It has helped me see another side of life and help others, it was the devil who did it to me for sure, but God turned my broken story in something beautiful.

@IIIGioGioStarIII

4 ай бұрын

I feel you on that. Gre up 7th Day Adventist and struggled with mental health and would always be told that the reason for my struggles was because my faith was not strong enough and those problems would go away if I believed harder. Not exactly the thing you want to hear when you feel like you are drowning and only have a splinter to keep you afloat.

Considering I was 7-10 praying every night for god to save and “fix” me it hits deep

@sunnie-chan502

2 жыл бұрын

same :(

@banana-ichirama-souda1778

2 жыл бұрын

8-12 for me

@lunakehrer2604

2 жыл бұрын

I think I was 13? Anyways, I was terrified that I would do something that would cause God to send me to hell so I would pray obsessively, in tears, and beg for forgiveness every night until it became too much and I tried to kill myself with a bottle of my dads medicine.

@lunakehrer2604

2 жыл бұрын

@@arrozconhabichuela I certainly dont anymore, but I'll probably never associate religion with anything other than my own anxiety. That is what baptism indoctrination does to children with mental disabilities.

@ash-jk2iw

2 жыл бұрын

hits home do much

miss turner never fails to makes the masses cry until their dry

As someone who was raised Christian while being gay and trans as well as developing an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts this one hits hard

@dilarauner3300

2 жыл бұрын

o hope you're doing well now, know that you're loved;))

@Dani_494

2 жыл бұрын

Hey there. Genderfluid aceflux lesbian with an eating disorder here. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts. You can do it. You're not alone.

@HarmonicHaven337

2 жыл бұрын

😲you literally just described my whole life.

@nk361

2 жыл бұрын

lmfao imagine making as many bad choices as possible then blaming God

@smeebsmob

2 жыл бұрын

@@nk361 it’s not a choice

I was hurt by bad people who told me I was a bad Christian for being disabled. This song hurts my heart every time

@BlobfishSupremacy

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry that happened to you!

@MarykMakwelele

9 ай бұрын

Actually in John Jesus shows us that Disabled people bring glory to the name of GOD,be of good courage soilder

as a Christian with body dysmorphia and struggles with faith, this hits so close to home

@5soda

2 жыл бұрын

I am sorry to hear that, I hope that everything gets better to you, sending online hug ❤❤

@lemonke48

2 жыл бұрын

🤍🤍🤍

this song made me remember something i buried so deep long ago. when i was 9 my mom told me i was stupid and a coward for wanting to kill myself. she said i was selfish for ruining "gods plan", she said "god only gives his hardest battles to his strongest warriors" BUT I WAS A CHILD, i didn't need to be strong, i needed to be protected and loved, not told this non existent person would save me. when he never did, no one ever did.

@Adi_digital_diary

2 жыл бұрын

im so sorry to hear that, i hope you're okay now ❤ i want you to know that God's plan for you is to bless you, and he loves you so much, if you ever want to talk im here ❤

@PaulineDCGato

2 жыл бұрын

I dont know why but i just feel that i wanted to say sorry that you have experienced this... those words will hold no meaning if the person speaking is not actually doing something for your sake... I hope that if you need someone to talk to, you can message me..

@user-uq3zn3ut2n

2 жыл бұрын

have you actualy had faith in God before you said that?and im sorry, theres so man families that arent raising christians as gods vision. You can still change it you have time, you can repent and actually find peace with god, I love you.

@sadisticgirl_

2 жыл бұрын

well looks like you're enough, and you saved yourself and I'm proud of you ❤️

@voidgalaxy3605

2 жыл бұрын

I’m proud of you. Screw your mom, screw God, I’M proud of you, for fighting, for being you, for surviving. You’re so strong and I’m sorry your mother hurt you in this way. You didn’t deserve it. I hope you are doing at least a lil better

As a Christian who struggles with her faith, I relate to this. Sometimes I just spend so much time picking out my flaws and thinking "How could God ever love me?". I love God, but I don't love myself. People have told me that that's wrong because God made me in His image, which means I'm insulting God. I feel so lost sometimes.

@SlidIy

2 жыл бұрын

I'm struggling with the same thing as you, everything I do seems to be a sin, and sometimes I believe and sometimes I don't, and like you I struggle with really bad body dysmorphia. Even if I don't take my own advice, I say you should focus more on yourself and your beliefs rather than what they tell you, or I tell you. Your not alone m8

@dilarauner3300

2 жыл бұрын

as a muslim i relate to this on a whole different level

@itz_midnightsky_

2 жыл бұрын

@sunday thank you

@itz_midnightsky_

2 жыл бұрын

@sunday I actually have noticed talking to Him about these things makes me feel better.

@alexia8092

2 жыл бұрын

Same

I hope that everyone in the comments is doing okay. Religious trauma is heartbreaking and demeaning and it has lasting effects on the people who come into contact with it. Regardless of our beliefs let’s be kind to one another and when someone expresses their pain let’s not invalidate them. The Creator of the universe doesn’t need to be defended and instead would implore you to be kind and loving towards all. I hope you all know how special and one of a kind you are. The world wouldn’t be the same without you!

@danieltakawi9919

2 жыл бұрын

The Creator of the universe commanded us Christians to love. Jesus literally said that it is the whole meaning behind the Bible & the law & all the prophets. In I John it says that God is love, whoever knows love knows God, & whoever does not know love does not know God. Jesus also says that if we cannot love the brother whom we can see how can we not love God whom we cannot see? Religious trauma is so much more heartbreaking when you realize that people are being hurt & are leaving the faith because of people doing the exact opposite of what God told them. The Heart of the Creator of the universe breaks for every person hurt by His people. It Breaks. They say the more you love the more you hurt over your loved ones. In that case it makes sense that only God is purely love, because only God could handle all that pain.

I was raised LDS/Mormon, which is a religion that believes having a body is the greatest privilege and the whole reason we came to earth. As a disabled and chronically ill person, being told my broken body was a blessing always felt like a slap in the face. This song so perfectly captures the feeling of my supposed blessing being a curse.

@jamesserote1143

2 жыл бұрын

lp p.p

@jackson-mq9vm

2 жыл бұрын

💜

@bunnygirl6808

2 жыл бұрын

I feel the same

@woodentampon6416

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry this is a really late reply but I feel the same way! I’m chronically ill and I’ve had people tell me how “beautiful” my suffering is and then in the same breath tell me “everyone has a cross they need to bear”

@aaaduccs6667

2 жыл бұрын

@@woodentampon6416 pls, its so stupid it makes me so mad. they said to love life since ur placed on this world to do "god's work" or some bullshit like that but it doesn't make any logical sense. sometimes i wonder if we're placed here just to suffer and let god watch us clown around for his entertainment

As someone who was raised in an evangelical church that ostracised me when I was 'traumatised' as a child, the line 'if Jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind the body I'm in' hits hard.

@Adi_digital_diary

2 жыл бұрын

Oh im so sorry honey❤i hope you're okay truly, you are so so loved

@sadisticgirl_

2 жыл бұрын

wow what cowards

@elisabethhhh

2 жыл бұрын

not all christian people are like that actually

@Infernalapathy

2 жыл бұрын

@@elisabethhhh I don't believe I said that they were, but thanks so much for the input

@CelestialBug

2 жыл бұрын

Knowing that someone else who grew up in an Evangelical church didn't fit in hits hella hard, Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I don't know your exact story but just know you're not alone. You are so strong and I hope you're able to heal from it.

i just discovered the song and immediately crying... this hits so much

I grew up in a Christian household, where a lot of pressure to be close to God was put on me. My sisters easily talked in tougues, forged great relationships with him, while I was never able to do anything. I was told I was lazy and wasn’t trying hard enough, and I cried out to him almost every night. I begged him to talk to me. I felt unlovable, like if the father of fathers dosent even want to talk to me, then I must be doing something wrong, *i* must be something wrong. I felt so alone.

@magnificatanimameadominum-

2 жыл бұрын

As a Christian, that seems so toxic and ungodly. i'm sorry you had to go through that xx

@paolamiranda9215

2 жыл бұрын

First of all, thank you for sharing. I hope you are doing better now. Sometimes God talks when everything it's silent and calm. Like a relief you feel in your body. You have to be very keen on listening, to whatever He says. Maybe you had the wrong focus, since you were trying to get close to Him mostly to make your family comfortable and proud, instead of talking to Him because of who He is and what He has done (not trying to make you accountable that though, its just a bad mindset from a bad experience) What its true for certain, nevertheless, is that He loves you, even if u can't talk in tougues or read prophecies or easily hear His voice. Just try your best, and don't beat yourself up for it. In love theres no fear (1 John 4:18) and the most important thing is love (1 Corinthians 13) love you!

@spicyandsweet

2 жыл бұрын

I understand your feelings too God doesn't want to talk to me too it's like so easy for others I even cried every night before sigh

@Wanderer677

Жыл бұрын

I have been going through the same feeling for about three years now. I feel like he hates me. I don’t know what to do

@ameilioracryptos5298

Жыл бұрын

I dunno man, just feels like it not there

As a trans woman born into a heavily Christian family, this is a beautiful song that describes how I felt about myself and the discussion I had with myself about my faith. I personally chose to not believe as even if he is real, he let me suffer and didn’t give me options to be who I really was. It felt like God had a personal vendetta against me- even though that’s totally unreasonable to think.

@Transcreations_

2 жыл бұрын

As a trans man who isn't very religious at all really I do believe in spirits though I just wanted to let you know that places like camp Calumet Lutheran exist where they ar very open and loving. At Calumet they don't believe being LGBTQ+ is a sin. They're even working on making the camp a more comfortable place for trans people by adding more gender neutral bathrooms and possibly making a cabin specifically for trans campers uncomfortable with being with either the boys or girls. There is hope that these religious groups will someday be more excepting Calumet is just the beginning.

@user-yd5bz4eq7w

2 жыл бұрын

God let's us suffer for a reason. You might think it's bull💩, and that's okay. Always trust the process.

@normalostrich6250

2 жыл бұрын

@@user-yd5bz4eq7w you don't love a person who tortures you, it's not suffering with a purpose, it's suffering for the sake of suffering. A doctor makes you suffer to fix you, a lover tries to not let you suffer, an abuser makes you suffer just to make you suffer. The view that everything is a test is just a justification for an abusive god.

@morisstrawberrypie2253

2 жыл бұрын

@@user-yd5bz4eq7w are you dense?

@sofiaogaldez4321

2 жыл бұрын

@@normalostrich6250 He's not a simple person, he's GOD. And he is your doctor, your lover, your father, your protector, your friend and so much more so he give us lessons in different forms and we are the ones that decide how to face every lesson

I'm agnostic now but damn this really gave me goosebumps. It's heart-wrenching. The way Catie conveys her emotions through her lyrics and her voice... Brilliant.

How tf did this person just break into my head and dig up all my deepest and darkest innermost thoughts and insecurities and make a low key amazing song out of it

I grew up in a abusive household. ( I still live there ) I’m 17 now and I never experienced any kind of love in my life. I’m so lonely. I never felt so useless. I don’t wanna live anymore. I’m in a very depressing episode in my life right now and I swear I tried everything to get out of it but nothing works. It feels like everyone and everything works against me. Every time I see all these daughters with their families it feels like the world is mocking me. I didn’t grew up religious but I found God in the lowest point of my life. I’m happy that I did but I can’t help but think that God doesn’t love me because every time I pray to Him, so he can help me with my sickness and to get out of this shit hole but he never does. I don’t think that he answered any of my prayers. It makes me feel really helpless. How can the God that made me deny me?

@hnichole

5 ай бұрын

I hope you're still with us, friend. I wanted to reply because I've been *exactly* where you are -- abusive religious household, wishing for a parent-daughter relationship, praying night after night that God would help save me from abuse, and attempting to take my life when he didn't. It's so painful, and I'm so so sorry you're going through it, because I know exactly how deep that pain runs and how it makes you feel like your life will always be this way. Because of the abuse I have a lot of trauma and an anxiety disorder - mental illness made it so much worse, because I would beg God to take it away and felt like he hated me or that I wasn't a "good enough" Christian when those prayers weren't answered, even though I did all the things. When discussing the abuse, every adult I encountered - pastors, life group leaders, the teachers and principals at my Christian school - all just told me to "keep praying." I know the feeling of everyone working against you and being utterly alone in the world. It may not help you, depending on your circumstances, but I'm 21 now, and I honestly didn't think I'd live this long. I worked my ass off to go to university, I just started therapy a couple months ago, and I'm working on getting through each day one at a time. I'm nowhere near healed or recovered, but I guess what I'm trying to say is don't end your life. Find the one thing you can keep living for, whether it's a person or a goal or just getting tf out when you turn 18 (for me, I keep living for my dog; she's the light of my life and I know she wouldn't be taken care of if I was gone). Most people have never experienced what you and I have experienced, and for that alone we are already so strong to have made it this far. Your life has value, and you are already so resilient. Our lives will never look normal compared to other people, but it doesn't mean we can't change our futures. I wish you literally all the best in the world and hope you can get out as soon as possible.

@auronyx18

5 ай бұрын

I wish I could walk up to you, give you a hug, and tell you this in person. You are valuable. Your life has value. You are not worthless. God… He never says He’s going to fix our problems. He doesn’t even say He will keep us from physical harm. But He promises to always be there with us. He is with you, loves, values, and treasures you. He hates to see you hurt. To see you sick. And to watch people hurt his precious child. He is just as much with them as He is with you. He loves them as much as He loves you. He values them and wishes for them to feel loved by Him, just as He loves you. They have to choose to accept His love to feel it, and if they did, they would know how to love others the way He loves them. I have never personally gone through what you and many others have, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and value you. God taught me how to do that. God does hear you, He values your voice, He cares about your pain, and He knows how hard it is better than anyone else ever could. Know that you are not alone and that this pain doesn’t define you. That you are no less valued than anyone else. That your life does not belong to the people around you or the hurt that you experience. It doesn’t create your identity. Who you are is the precious daughter of Christ who will never leave you. Never.

@cindyrice6807

5 ай бұрын

People may look perfect and seem to have it all but if you look inside you'll see perfect is not all its cracked up to be. The day you except who you are with all your flaws is when others will too. Just being you. I wish I would have when I was young because now I'm happy just being me. Please don't loose your faith or you'll loose yourself, I know. Don't look at others like they are better it harms them and you. Life may seem long and not worth it. But if you have faith trust yourself, and talk to God you can't imagine the possibilities ❤

@stac1126

4 ай бұрын

When you are 18 you can start having more control of your life. Things change if you make it happen, sitting back and waiting for something is a lonely place to be. Start small. Work a PT jib, a little of your own money gives you a little freedom. Life can be good. There is still good out here.

@caseycampbell4787

2 ай бұрын

Aww. I can understand that and hope things get better soon. Please don't kill yourself. I hope you find at least one person that fully cares about you.

As someone who’s family abandoned them as a child, struggles with eating, a disorder and religious trauma.. this hits hard.

@ahemwut2599

Жыл бұрын

hi, hope you're doing well! None of it was your fault.

as someone who had the "gods hates transgenders, there's a demon in them" pushed against them while they were questioning their gender, this hits so hard, god actually did get lazy with me 😕

@lihuan9841

2 жыл бұрын

hey , i know im a stranger but i want u to know that you are valid and also a blessing itself, keep ur head up :>

@Alex-xx1lw

2 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way you're not alone

@Adi_digital_diary

2 жыл бұрын

He didn't! He still loves you, im sorry if you've been ostracized by people ): You will always be welcome to run into His arms❤

@benramsey4003

2 жыл бұрын

God beautifully and wonderfully made you. He loves you, and don’t let a bunch of people that don’t know what they’re talking about tell you any different.❤️

@heyitsfaith1359

2 жыл бұрын

I know it sucks and this song hits to close to home but at the end of the Jesus said you were to show how powerful creative powerful diverse God is he also says you weren't a mistake even the hairs on your are counted and that he planned you even before you were a thought in your parent's head

I was not expecting to cry listening to this for the first time. I definitely wasn't expecting it to hit so close to home. I grew up extremely catholic, going to church every sunday, praying every night, and then everything changed. And I honestly don't know what to believe anymore.

My insecurities are eating me up alive right now, and this song really explains how I feel.

This song almost breaks me every time. I would put this in a film without hesitation, so strong these lyrics.

As someone with immense trauma and BPD, this is absolutely gut wrenching. I don’t understand what I did to be dealt this hand. I’m not a believer in god, but I grew up in a Christian household. Even so, I still feel abandoned by someone who was supposed to protect me and love me unconditionally. He didn’t help me. What I went through didn’t make me stronger. I’m absolutely broken

@PaulineDCGato

2 жыл бұрын

I dont exactly know what to say to you but I hope that if you want someone to talk to just message me, reply on this message if you want. It may feel so horrible to feel that way..

@kierstenthrift2262

2 жыл бұрын

@@PaulineDCGato thankyou so much for your kindness, it means the world to me.

@sadisticgirl_

2 жыл бұрын

u are strong, and you can do it!

@hawaiianvalkyrie

2 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry you had to experience this immense trauma. I understand, I see you. He was suppose to protect me but used and abused me, my heart goes out to you ❤

@lachimolala3808

2 жыл бұрын

He does love you unconditionally, cuz u r his child ... no matter how broken u think u r... u were strong enough to keep holding on... in his time he let's u see all the beauty in u

I hate how God made me. I can't imagine a creator making a good-looking person and then making me with the same love and effort. I feel like God just crumbled together some dirt and called it a body for me like he was too busy making everyone else. I don't know if I want to be a follower of Christ anymore because it seems like he just hates me.

To everyone out there God loves you!! And you are not a mistake. You are a BLESSING.

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

Which god?

Oof. It... This one hits hard. Though I'm not Christian I still.... Felt this differently- A lot of my friends are traumatized in this same way. And it makes my heart hurt to know you too hurt this way. Don't censor it and don't hide yourself. I think your bravery to put this out will help a lot of people that feel this pain. I am proud of you for venting your feelings and truly think the video editing and composition of this piece are phenomenal. I especially ✨felt✨ it when you cut the instraments at the very last lines. This song is so impactful. Well done honeybee! I hope you find peace in your mind and this comment makes you smile a little bit 💙💜💙💜💙

Lyrics Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, God must hate me” ‘Cause he spent so much time on them And for me, he got lazy Got ample mental illness, personality flaws While their only flaw seems to be that they have none at all Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, God must hate me” I’ll let Him take accountability For everything that’s wrong with me Can’t hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I’m in Same hands that made the moon and stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts I don’t know what I believe but it’s easier to think He made a mistake with me Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, they got lucky” The craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts They don’t track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert Do you ever see someone and think “Wow they got lucky” I’ll let Him take accountability For everything that’s wrong with me I can’t hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I’m in Same hands that made the moon and stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts I don’t know what I believe but it’s easier to think He made a mistake with me Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, God must hate me” ‘Cause he spent so much time on them And for me, he got lazy

@iloveyourmother3000

2 жыл бұрын

this is a lyric video???

@bee549

2 жыл бұрын

@@iloveyourmother3000 yeah but personally it's easier to sing and learn the lyrics with them written out, and it's the same for a lot of people 😅

@iloveyourmother3000

2 жыл бұрын

@@bee549 oh mkay :)

@ariella75

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this ✨

this simultaneously says it’s not you’re fault you’ve been screwed and you’re the only one that can fix this and i fucking love

As a Christian who struggles with stress eating, ED + other negative thoughts, this is so relatable and it hurts so much

This is my comfort song, I grew up in a catholic household, and have PCOS, am unattractive, have major depressive disorder, overweight, began to doubt my religion, can't even sing, and many other things. But I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family.

@ahemwut2599

Жыл бұрын

You're loved. You may not be perfect, but God doesn't love you any less now than when he made you. I hope you're doig well now!

If we end up in heaven at the end of our life and then God said "It isn't wrong to love a person no matter who or what gender they are." i would drop down on my knees and cry out the pain that the world made me endure because of cruelty. This song is powerful 😢

@Jen_the_Dragon_Queen

2 жыл бұрын

I can assure you, he will say exactly that. After death, we have no body and therefore no gender or sexuality (those are human things). Only souls filled with love - not romantic love, just pure love for every other existing soul.

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

@@Jen_the_Dragon_Queen So stipe everything from you except inescapable love regardless of the person or how awful they were to you or anyone else. That's not paradise. That's eternal thought slavery. But given that you all seem to practice for that most of your life. It's not surprising that sounds like heaven to you.

@doctorvelvet1529

2 жыл бұрын

@@Jen_the_Dragon_Queen This comment, man you made me tear up. May you have the best life❤️

I’m sobbing my eyes out at 4am to this song .. A great way to start 2022!!

@glowingflower1177

2 жыл бұрын

Yep! 😃✋

@sevgiulker3203

Жыл бұрын

Ummmm... Hope you had a better entrance to 2023, then!

I never really believed in a Christian god but I remember hoping he was real and praying whenever I fought with my mom promising I'd be devoted to him if he could fix whatever was wrong with me mentally that caused my mom to not love me and if he just made me into a good child who could shut their mouth for five seconds and not upset everyone around me then I'd be devoted forever. It just got stuck in my head for years that maybe if I prayed I would be fixed even if I never really believed cause when I was 5 a smaller Christian cult paid for my mom's college and even though my mom was never Christian, she was raised in to different cults because she was poor and they offered food so she still carried a lot of those mentalities into raising me without realizing it

@chirichu4813

2 жыл бұрын

I did the same as a child, my Catholic school was big on prayers so everytime I felt helpless I tried to promise I would ‘be a perfect Catholic’ I wouldn’t say I have religious trauma, but the religion definitely did some things to my thought process

I was raised religious and just recently turned to being agnostic. So this one hits hard on how I felt in the church.

Gosh, this song makes my heart ache. This brought me back to the time where I was begging God to make me white after suffering heavy racism as a small child. I was feeling so dirty, sickly and ugly. I've since moved on, but it still hurts so much. Plus other religous trauma I've suffered, but that's something else. I've never heard a song that's touched the inner depths of my soul. This song made me felt things I've never felt before.

@Adi_digital_diary

2 жыл бұрын

Oh baby im so sorry to hear that ): 🤍 i hope you know that you are absolutely beautiful in the eyes of the creator, who loves you no matter what other people may think❤i hope you're okay now, if you ever need to talk im here❤

@Dibxmonkey

2 жыл бұрын

Im so sorry you felt that way. You are beautiful. I always hated being mixed because I never fit in and then it finally clicked I didn't have to. I hope you have people who support you now.

I feel like I was made as a mistake. All i have is pain. Why did God made me? Why? I just want to close my eyes forever. And never wake up again. If God is listening to me i hope he can take me with him thats the only way i will have peace in my heart.

Im a baptist,have been my whole life and still am. But i resonate with this song,im chronically ill,have suffered serious abuse and serious mental health issues. I constantly asked God “why me? What did i do to deserve all this?” Hopefully one day we’ll all get the answers we seek.

as an LGBT+ person who was raised in the evangelical christian church, no you cannot “pray the gay away” that traumatized me so bad

@faye-wb9bk

2 жыл бұрын

i'm so sorry dear you're valid ❤️

@invisiblestring4234

2 жыл бұрын

@@faye-wb9bk thank you 🥺❤️

@kelsi4513

2 жыл бұрын

as a christian & lgbtq+ ally/supporter; all i want to say is all christian’s should be supportive, & if they aren’t they aren’t a real christian. God loves everyone; we all sin but nobody is a sin. you are a blessing to have on this earth. nothing is wrong with you; God welcomes you with open arms even if you push him away; he doesn’t hate you and nobody should

@invisiblestring4234

2 жыл бұрын

@@kelsi4513 aww thank you angel

@invisiblestring4234

2 жыл бұрын

@@why_oh_elle yup :( its so hard especially when people don’t understand that it’s not a choice and they hate us for something we can’t control. i’ve heard way too many people say they would be fine with assaulting or even killing us and it just hurts so bad sometimes, i understand how that feels especially because my family is from eastern europe and a lot of lgbt+ people get bullied and assaulted there daily as well as receive death threats

Im an atheist. When I was suicidal I asked and begged god to tell me why was I so... Wrong. That's a memory that deeply engraved in me, even though I don't believe in religion, that was my lowest point.

I was a Christian for 19 years. I was told to hate the lgbtq+, POC were bad, and that everything was a sin. I’m pansexual and struggling with mental issues. I had a terrible childhood and had to be an adult at 4 years old. I was in and out of foster care and don’t even know who my real parents are and my adoptive ones abused me. I’m no longer Christian, or religious at all. This song talks so much truth..

@sleepdeprived8916

2 жыл бұрын

I know this might not hold much weight, but I’m so sorry for what you’ve experienced. A person should not have to go through such things, especially a child. I hope you’re doing well and that you’re safe.

@merub_dafrog

2 жыл бұрын

I wish i could give you a big hug. I feel the same way, but i feel like im losing myself. I've lost chunks of myself and im barely piecing myself back together.

@Scare_bear0721

2 жыл бұрын

@@merub_dafrog same..i feel you cuz I'm going through the EXACT same thing..

@ahemwut2599

Жыл бұрын

That's so horrible, I don't even think your teachers were christian, it sounds nothing like it. I hope youre doing okay now! I'd give you a big hug if I could.

@Scare_bear0721

Жыл бұрын

@@ahemwut2599 idk if they were Christian or not because we didn't talk religion at my school. There was 1 high school teacher I has that told us he was Christian but I didn't like him or talk to him and he was gone half the year for a kidney transplant. But I could tell most of the teachers I had weren't Christian or didn't care how others lived their lives. They didn't push their views onto and let us be our own people and make our own decisions. But that's not what my comment was about, I said my parents and all of my family. I didn't have Christian friends or teachers.

Born with a disability, that has no cure. Constantly looking at my classmates, siblings who were all born normal and extremely get jelous of them, sometimes I just cry myself to sleep.

@manoumortelmans2630

Жыл бұрын

I'm autistic and got a chronic illness a couple years back, I'm a teen and it hurts so much, everyone gets to have fun, have hobbies, go out, etc. And I can't even go to school for a full day. My body is actively sabotaging me and it hurts.

@angelina9345

Жыл бұрын

I have cerebral palsy, and I do the same thing. It’s emotionally challenging to always be on the outside looking in.

@angeladuffy2768

Жыл бұрын

I have CP and was raised catholic. I feel this on a really deep level!

@shadybootsorg1883

Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️ bipolar/ADHD(diagnosed). And cptsd, almost sure I have it. I guess what I'm saying is, you're not alone in this feeling. Feelings may not always be truth but they'er for sure valid. ❤️💕

As a transgender ex Christian, this hits very close to home.

@dilarauner3300

2 жыл бұрын

i hope you're doing well now, just know that you're loved:))

@LoverOfManTits

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@nk361

2 жыл бұрын

Oh gross. The sinner is anti religion, wow

@LoverOfManTits

2 жыл бұрын

@@nk361 when religious people act and talk like you can you really say you're surprised people don't want to be religious?

@LoverOfManTits

2 жыл бұрын

@@nk361 didn't God say to not judge others? Do you think you're better than God?

it’s one of those nights y’all

@avakless4239

2 жыл бұрын

yep😻

I’m Christian. But I’m also asexual and have come from a family that has a lot of church related trauma, so finding a place in the church was very hard for me. God doesn’t hate people or make mistakes, but I know for a fact that his people do. As a Christian I know how mean other Christians can be, and I want to apologize because that’s not how it should be. We’re not any holier than thou, we’re saved through grace and mercy alone.

@agnesenovara7138

2 жыл бұрын

I'm Catholic and I totally agree with you. It's ironic how so many people who claim to be following God's preaching actually don't and just spread hate and bigotry at every chance they get

@nk361

2 жыл бұрын

lmao "church related trauma" oh no you might become moral and normal, oh so scary

@makeitrainnnn

2 жыл бұрын

@@nk361 how ignorant of you to assume like you know what happened to someone else. some horrible things could’ve happened to them. there are a lot of stories of abuse, sexual assault, and gaslighting in the church especially on minors and it’s not their fault that it happened, why are you acting like you know their whole life story… if you are a christian i’m not surprised because a lot of you assume and judge others for no reason which only makes everything worse. people are allowed to talk about their personal struggles and battles

@nk361

2 жыл бұрын

@@makeitrainnnn because liberals are less than 1% actual trauma survivors and 99%+ people that are overly emotional, in need of attention, happily sinners, false victims, accusation makers, bandwagoners, etc. We have the same problem going on right now with #metoo where the man is assumed to be guilty until proven innocent which he almost always is proven innocent yet his reputation was ruined because of all the false claims floating around. These people are blaming God for their own problems and their own family's choices that almost never have anything to do with it. It's a noticed pattern.

@lilithlucid6834

2 жыл бұрын

@nk361 do you fucking know what it’s like to be shamed for what you eat and to feel inforior to everyone around you and wishing that You could just make yourself have a realtionship with God.

As someone who can’t lose weight and has other issues going on like mental issues and such. This song hits really hard. I used to (and still do every now and then) what did I did or what did past me do to have this happen to me? It’s like I can’t complain too much because my life’s not the worst, but there is so much holding me back. “When their only flaw seems to be that they have none at all” One of my old friends seemed to have the picture perfect life. And I specifically remember her being able to eat a large Big Mac meal, a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets in one sitting and not gain weight, whereas if I ate a cheeseburger, fries, and a soda, I would. I would always tell myself that her insides weren’t healthy and that matters more, but not to society. Why was I created/made like this? I see people loosing weight easily, with hard work, or just not gaining at all. I see other fat women living a happy life and having a love life and being successful, why can’t I, even though I’m trying? But no mater how hard I try, it’s still not enough. So why was I made like this? What did I do?

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

I understand where you are coming from. Completely. Weight struggles, mental illness. The whole thing. It's taken almost 34 years to find some kind of peace of mind. It was the single most difficult thing I have ever went through, just to get to this point. The thing that really set me free, was stop listening to the negativity within myself, and from other's. I know that's not an easy thing to do. However, if you would like someone to talk to. I can send a way to get ahold of me to vent, or maybe just someone to talk to. You aren't alone in this fight. No one should be.

Girl, he didn’t make a mistake with you. He made a mistake on everyone who doesn’t realize how amazing you are

@ernestgonzalez616

2 жыл бұрын

God didn’t make a mistake with anyone. There’s free will so if someone doesn’t realize how amazing you are it’s because of their own perception their own free will.

@ZephyrCheez

2 жыл бұрын

The point of the song is that Christianity itself teaches you to hate everything about yourself that doesn't fit a golden impossible standard

@louern123

2 жыл бұрын

@@ZephyrCheez that is a super super brilliant observation. omg, that explains so much even about my own fucking life. omg. wow. thanks.

@nesrynthesloth4952

2 жыл бұрын

Just adding, don't say this to people with religious trauma or to yourself. I get that it seems helpful, I really do, but it fucks people up do much since it invalidates trauma. I get it doesn't to invalidate, but that's why many people use the saying "There's no hate like Christian love", it's painful and deadly and makes people think they were put through these things for the greater good, when many were or are children. So sorry if this has happened to you at all, but please refrain from saying this to others, especially people no longer part of the church. Have a good day, stay safe

@voidgalaxy3605

2 жыл бұрын

@@nesrynthesloth4952 THIS is how we need to confront people spreading Christian “love” there’s so much hate hardwired into the religion and yet they claim to “love and accept you”

I feel lucky Catie, because I am alive at the same time as you. This is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard and I'm 64 years old and a Dr of Music so I've heard a lot of songs. Don't ever think for one minute that you are not beautiful, because you so are. xxx

@fifi5852

2 жыл бұрын

sending you love, and i’m so sorry if you feel this way. i promise you are loved 🤍

I have mental disorders, and when i was younger i believed god put me here on accident. This song resonates with me well.

i grew up in a catholic/christian household... i also am autistic and lgbtq+ and have ocd/adhd ... the amount of times i thought i was broken and didn't deserve to be here was beyond comprehension, thinking that jesus truthfully forgot to make me "perfect" or at least, that he didn't spend any time making me anything more than what i am now. i still am healing for that but it was hard growing up with that mindset

i grew up in a christian church and household with an ed, i was always shrugged off and told that “god made me perfect”. this song proves that i’m not alone in feeling imperfect and comparing myself to others and that “made perfect” excuse doesn’t help. currently bawling

@ahemwut2599

Жыл бұрын

We all have our flaws, but God loves us and says we're beautiful and precious to him despite them and what the world thinks. I hope you're better now!

This song made me cry several times. It’s so sad and relatable at the same time 😢

As a Christian this hit hard hearing that “God made you like that for a reason” sometimes I just break from and fall to knees asking god why he made me like I am.. so this song hits hard. But you have to remember that one day we will get new perfect body’s so please don’t give up cause every second you alive is second close to pure happiness.. ❤️

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

While I understand that this brings you hope. It's really not the appropriate place to say these things. It's disrespectful to offer the poison as a cure to someone that is hurting. You aren't helping. If you want to make other's lives better, or even your own. You have to put in the work yourself. No god, or anyone else is going to help you do that.

@Kopiii123

2 жыл бұрын

I relate to what you said alot,

Of all the times I felt abandoned by God, when HE let my grandfather die in suffering was the worst!😢

I spent my whole life crying begging God to do something about all the trauma in my life, even before I believed in him. 27 years and he’s done nothing but make it worse so I don’t believe anymore. I wish I could, but how could he let all this happen and be real?

I was raised catholic and I'm now agnostic but singing this sent shivers to all my body. I love this song.

I'm a trans autistic guy raised in a Christian family, and I've felt like this for the longest time. An analogy that really helps me is "Why did God create trans people? The same reason he created grapes and not wine, so that humans could partake in their own creativity." I don't even believe in God anymore, but its still pretty affirming to me. Just sharing in case anyone has the same outlook as me and is looking for a better way of thinking about it. You're not a mistake, no matter who says it, they're wrong.

@nk361

2 жыл бұрын

lol the first sentence and this person really thinks they have it all figured out and that they're moral lmaoooo

@blackprimrose7541

2 жыл бұрын

@@nk361 shut up.

@iixrosetta

2 жыл бұрын

@@nk361 elaborate

@nk361

2 жыл бұрын

@@iixrosetta liberals (which he is one of) live off of words of affirmation for their terrible life choices and immoral choices. This person seeks people and opinions that push what they think for them to feel better. The harsh truth is that they are just pretending and avoiding help/reality. It's extremely immature too for them to say God had that idea of them when they are some of the worst sinners. They deny God then worship people that encourage them instead. Other people with the same problems with their mind. "Man can justify anything"

@lilithlucid6834

2 жыл бұрын

I fucking relate so much and thank you for your message

This song is the epitome of my religious trauma. I was raised christian. By Christian parents, around christian neighbors, and friends, and classmates. I've also got chronic illness, mental illness, and more. Going through assaults, traumatic events and more added on to that. And, in the end, I was always told that if I prayed, everything would get better. If I prayed, I'd magically heal. I'd pray and I'd be okay. That's what everyone said, my neighbors, aunt and uncle, parents, pastors, everyone. Everyone just told me to pray. Yet I didn't get better. I'd be crying on my knees every night, begging god to fix my broken parts. Begging god to make me more appealing, to make me stronger, to take away the pain. I even prayed asking god to forgive me for being bisexual. So from there I just... began blaming all my problems on God. I started believing that 'god must hate me' because everyone around me was magically getting better through prayer, yet I was still sick, weak, scared and alone. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted to be, or where I wanted to go with my life. And when I told anyone of my struggles, I simply got told that my intentions weren't strong enough, or that I wasn't praying enough, that I was too broken even for god to fix. But then I met amazing people who helped me through it. It's safe to say I'm not christian anymore, and never will be. I don't think I would even say I ever identified as christian in the first place. I was really just conforming to what those around me were, and doing as I was told.

@eilishnorwood433

2 жыл бұрын

God wasn't the one that hurt you. It was the people that did.

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

@@eilishnorwood433 Oh so it was the people that gave them the chronic illnesses and the mental illnesses? Denial.

@crashfish1245

2 жыл бұрын

I am glad you got out and hope you are recovering well, or as well as you can.

@ghofraneoueslati7258

2 жыл бұрын

@@pluribus3362 it's not denial, it's just perspective, if you really think about it no one's really THAT content with their lives , no one thinks they're perfect and great and all that they could think about is those who are better than them, the things that they do not have , it's not a bad thing , it's just human nature, but how people live and how they face things depends solely on them , some people are in an immense pain that you and I could hardly imagine being in their place but they are far more life welcoming and patients than us and others who have it so much better than us ( how we think they do ) and are as miserable or even worse , and if you ever truly came across someone close enough you'd figure out that unlike this song no one really is flawless and no one is internally happy, you can blame God or others or yourself or life or nature or religion, you can , but at the end of the day what will make a real change in ur life is ur mindset , ur perception to things, your strength .

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

@@ghofraneoueslati7258 No, it's a direct cop out used by religious denialists to appease their own questions as 'god is mysterious' 'the devil is tempting you' 'god is testing your faith.' It's timeless, and tiring. So instead of trying to defend someone else's words, maybe let them say it themselves. Self-righteous prick.

i’ve begged God for years to cure my depression and anxiety bc i always heard that he could do it but he hasn’t. it’s so much worse, especially since quarantine. my mom says wait on his timing but ive been waiting for 5+ years.

@lorisjanvier9513

2 жыл бұрын

I hope He will help you soon ❤️

@lorisjanvier9513

2 жыл бұрын

if you wanna talk Im free, love you ❤️

@isabellechanthavong3818

2 жыл бұрын

@@lorisjanvier9513 God cannot and will never cure depression

@lorisjanvier9513

2 жыл бұрын

@@isabellechanthavong3818 ahaha okay if you say so but everything is possible to God dude

@fal8111

2 жыл бұрын

@@lorisjanvier9513 thank you 🥲❤️ love you too

I am in love with every part of God. My whole life is for Him, and this song still cuts me deep. So so deep.

@AndreaRodriguez-op8wi

2 жыл бұрын

same omg

@ZephyrCheez

2 жыл бұрын

This is a song about an atheist's trauma caused by religion 💀

@miraair3056

2 жыл бұрын

@@ZephyrCheez Ok? And she still resonates with the song? What’s your point lmao💀

@ZephyrCheez

2 жыл бұрын

@@miraair3056 It's not at all appropriate to say things like this to people with religious trauma

@gbekeee858

2 жыл бұрын

@@ZephyrCheez she didn’t say anything to ppl with religious trauma

I stopped believing in God a very long time go. My mother never really understood, until I explained that the general Christian population around where I live would want me dead if they knew who- what- I am. I then asked her, "If your God is so loving, then why did he allow my ex to abuse me for three years? Why did he allow me to dive so far into the deep end that I nearly drowned?" I've made my peace today. He didn't pull me out of my darkest hour. I did. On my own. With my own two hands.

I grew up in a community that were Jehovah witnesses. I had to hide a huge secret from everyone until I got out of the witness life. I’m finally able to express that I’m Bi and not ashamed of it anymore. This song will forever be engraved in my heart.😭🥰

@winterberry3412

2 жыл бұрын

Same here, I grew up as a JW. You're not alone.

@aniebanuelos8629

2 жыл бұрын

Same except I'm still in it and I can't wait to get out

@currentlydaydreaming3333

2 жыл бұрын

Same, but I'm still in it. I'm so tired and I wanna get out of here.

@aniebanuelos8629

2 жыл бұрын

@@currentlydaydreaming3333 SAME!!

I was raised in a Christian School, going to church, praying every morning and night, wanting to preach and be a missionary. But, I realized, I DONT just like guys, girls are cute too, hell I like EVERYONE! But then I thought about it, I’m not entirely a girl. I’m a Demi-girl who’s also pansexual. But I was taught that was wrong. Then, I was struggling with depression, anxiety, and maladaptive daydreaming. I *SCREAMED* for him to take away my pain, but he just watched. He WATCHED ME CRY TO HIM TO STOP THE PAIN. I wasn’t supposed to fight stuff like that at only 11 years old. I wasn’t supposed to think about ending my life when it barely started, I wasn’t supposed to be a warrior, I NEEDED HELP. That’s why my faith in him is dwindling now.

@melanieirizarry2219

2 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m so sorry others have made you feel unnatural. Praying for you as you figure it out.

I don't consider myself religious but my family is heavily Christian. I'm LGBTQ+ (asexual, aromantic and agender) and the lines about god having been lazy with me and not with others just... they hit very hard. The song itself is sad but reading the comments here bring me some comfort, letting me know that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for making such a beautiful song and opening up a space for people to vent 💖

@iqras4530

2 жыл бұрын

Sameee but im muslim with overly religious parents :((

I am christian and I can't tell you how often I felt that I was fake and wrong each time I attended church because I am part of the lgbtq, and I still remember how I prayed everyday to God at 9-11 yrs old to "fix" me when I realized I'm able to love both men and women. I felt that it strayed me further away from god so I prayed that this feeling would go away but it didn't and I started developing suicide thoughts because of this. I'm 14 and still struggling with my faith in god. Thank you so much for this song, I have never found a song that deeply resonates with me as much as this does. (I'm sorry if my grammar is bad, english is my 3rd language)

As someone who is suffering, I needed this. I always feel and think like this almost everyday. I feel like there is something wrong with me and if god does hate me. I really want to get better. And I try to pretend I'm okay when really I'm not. I just want all of this to be over. It's not fair. 💔

I was raised in a Catholic and I can't even begin to describe how deeply I resonate with this song. How many nights I stayed up as a kid begging in tears to god asking why I was born. Good to know others feel the same💜

as a Christian I can proudly say that God loves all of his children! no matter if your LGBTQ or not I'm so sorry for all the people in the comments who were raised with such bad experiences with the church! God loves you all and nothing can change that! your relationship with God isn't about the church that cast you away its about you and what you want. God wont force himself on you, you have the power to form a connection with him if that's what you want, it's not up to anyone else but you!

I'm a womb twin survivor. The first thing I ever knew was loss and mourning. I now have BED, suicidal thoughts, survivor's guilt, problems with keeping friends, and I have to hold myself up to the highest standards just so I can feel like I deserve to live even though my twin brother didn't get to. I hate my life and I want out, but I don't want to hurt my family. I'm so alone. If God's real, I have no doubt that he hates me.

@kugiekizuchi.

2 жыл бұрын

i am genuinely so sorry.

@kugiekizuchi.

2 жыл бұрын

i don't know how that feels but i know it must be horrible. i wish you the best in life and for happiness in your future

Dear person whoever reads this, Hey, you, yes, I am talking right to you. I hope you will see yourself with the eyes I see you one day because I can tell you have some awesome music taste :) You’re such a beautiful human being and worth and enough. I hope you know that you do only need yourself to be happy, I know society builds up the standard that whenever you’re alone you’re not living a happy life. But in fact, that is not true, if you start to realize that you actually deserve all the good things happening to you, you will treat yourself a lot nicer. I hope you let yourself rest, don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes, over regret, and over everything your mind wants to destroy you. I wish I could remove all those demons inside of your head because you deserve to feel happy. If you ever feel lonely then watch the sky, because you know, someone, at the same time is watching the sky too, maybe feeling the same way...I am glad you exist and I hope you won’t ever remove your own spot in this world, maybe you don’t feel like you belong here but, Angel, then build your home here. I don’t want you to leave this world unhappy. I want you to live every little second, I want you to feel alive, I don’t want you to see yourself just existing. You deserve it. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault, the demons in your head recognize that you have a beautiful heart, they want to take it because they have never seen such a beautiful heart as yours, so why let them win over you? . You’re not selfish for isolating yourself, but you deserve to talk to someone. If you’re reading this then please never forget to breathe and smile. Don’t live up to other standards! It’s your story and not theirs. Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug-like it's your last one. I love you and send you hugs. You’re so strong, you’re still here, and I am proud of you. YOU ARE NOT USELESS. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE WORTH IT. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE LOVED. READ THAT AGAIN. I AM GLAD YOU EXIST. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM. YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT BEING DRAMATIC. You’re not a burden to anyone, don’t be afraid to talk, to use your voice. You’re beautiful inside out. Your body is beautiful the way it is. Please don’t starve yourself. Please eat, I know it’s hard but you deserve food. You deserve to eat and drink. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. READ THAT AGAIN. I WISH I COULD HUG YOU RIGHT NOW, SO A VIRTUAL HUG WILL DO. It hurts me to see you’re in pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I love u I love u I love u I love u I love u please don’t go. I am sorry that no one is hearing you, I am sorry no one is noticing that you have lost yourself. I wish I could take your pain away, it hurts me to see the pain in your eyes. I love you through my words and I mean it. I just want you to stay, hold on a little longer okay? Please? For me.?? I hope you have an awesome day/ morning/ evening/ night. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it with such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such a mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water in the morning, and so on... You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course, you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self-care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re stronger than you think, I know you will make it :) Now wipe those tears away and smile for me, you really don’t know much a smile can brighten someone’s day, do you? I hope one day yours will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. Remember crying is not weakness, let it out as much as you can but don’t let the emotion control you by giving up. It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe, you can let it out. Did anyone ask you, how you are feeling today? If not, how are you really? I don’t think you’re doing good, but you will feel good at one point. Don’t give yourself up. I am sorry you feel misunderstood. But anyone who gets to be with you doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they are :). Enough with beating up yourself for today, okay?! - The stranger that cares about you more than anything. I hope this is enough for you to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. I hope you can stay. This is your sign to stay and treat yourself with love, you deserve it. And in case no one told you today, again, I am so proud of you. I hope you will remember my words :) Until tomorrow, my friend :) (PLEASE! Copy and paste to other videos! Share this amazing message we //idk exactly who// have created! Everyone deserves to know they are worth everything.)

@elvachristiani1268

Жыл бұрын

thank you

@ykitsmee

Жыл бұрын

thank you thank you thank you thank you… im trying, ive been trying, and sometimes it feels like i’m getting worse not better but thank you, i needed this, i love you so so so so so much… ❤️❤️❤️ i’m about to cry, these are the kindest words anyone has ever told me, thank you thank you thank you thank you 🫶🏽💜 I love you..

@whos.aishaaa

Жыл бұрын

you made me cry, thanks so much

@paulpatingco8725

Жыл бұрын

thank you soooo much

@Birdalotl

Жыл бұрын

I FUVCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💕

I am Christian and pray everynight for my family's and friends' safety and health. Since April this year, after struggeling for years with ED, neurotic disorder and Endometriosis, I developed additionaly Morbus Crohn. Nothing seems to help. I take my meds and I still pray to become healthy cause i am 25 and feel like dying most of the time.

@Tara-cv2kz

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes God does not answer our prayers in the ways we wish he would, but I think it's comforting to know that there is a reason for everything. I will pray for you

The line "do you ever see someone and think wow God must hate me/they got lucky?" reminds me of one conversation I've had with my younger brother one day and absolutely changed the way I see things. I grew up drowning in self hatred while trying to pretend everything was alright to try and keep my family somewhat together. When my mom couldn't, I took care of my younger brother and sure, it made our relationship look more like a father and son one than siblings at times, but I'm thankful I get to be the one he talks to when he's not fine. And, one day, he came to me. We started talking and talking, until it was late at night, and he ended up crying in my arms and asked me if I ever felt like he did. I said yes. He looked at me so surprised and literally went "you? but look at you! you're perfect!" He then told me that he admired me. And all this time, I hated myself so much and I wished to be anyone but me so bad, that I never realized I was, in someone else's eyes and, more than that, to the one person I love most, worthy of admiration and love. Everything I couldn't stand on myself, was everything he thought made me the greatest person in his life.

haven’t cried this hard listening to a song in a long time this is magnificently beautiful

There's very few songs that can bring me to tears, let alone in less than 10 seconds Idk why this hits so hard

It is a beautiful song and portrays so much feeling, I cannot help but get teary-eyed. It hurts so much to see people feel unloved and left alone. I know how much God loves each of His children. His love is unconditional, and He makes no mistakes, even when we feel otherwise. I just hope people who feel like this can feel the love of God, and come to see themselves as He sees them.

I was raised Christian. I fought with the idea of being forced to love a God who I felt had done me wrong with the life and body he put me in. And then to hear God only did it to make me strong was a bigger smack in the face and invalidation of all I went through. Now that I'm older, I'm non religious. I have accepted that sometimes people are just born into better lives than other, it just is what it is. It's unfair, but I made it though and I have myself to thank for that.

I have cerebral palsy. I also get anxiety in social situations. Today I had a big presentation in college, and completely failed it. I was so anxious my mind went blank. I then watched most of my able bodied classmates going through the speech no problem. I wanted to cry. I just wish I could be normal for a day. If there is a God, I wish he had given me that chance.

As a Christian and LGBTQ, this honestly hits so hard. I always question whether he loves me or not, if my family would still love me, I also question my faith constantly. This resonates sm.

@Isdrevi

2 жыл бұрын

God loves you! Don’t let other people tell you otherwise! Don’t change who you are, God made you in his image and gave you free will. I’m a Christian and I see how cruel my religion can be, but we are not all the same! Express yourself and be who you want to be, but just know God will Love always no matter what anyways says.

@diya4042

2 жыл бұрын

he loves you!!!!! no matter what!

@kikachu2036

2 жыл бұрын

He will love you no matter what! He would want you to be *you*

Time Magazine wrote about Catie just 2 years ago "there is a universal message that resonates well into adulthood in Catie Turner’s aching, existential honesty. Turner, who was an American Idol finalist and high school senior just last spring, is still in the thick of her youth. But the intimate directness of her voice, over a supple acoustic melody, suggests wisdom beyond her years".

As a Christian I'm so sorry if you ever feel like this. You are beautiful for who you are❤ God created you the way he wanted to, and knew you were beautiful. Humanity makes us how we're suppose to look. If you feel you're trapped in your body, it's okay, feel what you're suppose to look like. God will love you regardless, you're his child.❤❤

@CFoCMinistries

2 жыл бұрын

I had a lesbian girl on tiktok say this is how they feel when people talk about God and I definitely felt that way before I was chrisitan and its genuinely heartbreaking that these people turn to LGBT just because the devil lies to them about there self worth

@CFoCMinistries

2 жыл бұрын

@@pineapple9766 you have no idea what you're talking about

@phagtasticc792

2 жыл бұрын

@@CFoCMinistries No YOU dont know what you are talking about! Leave my community out of this bullshit, you guys have hurt and destroyed us time after time. Keep your mouth shut

@ZephyrCheez

2 жыл бұрын

@@CFoCMinistries You're the point of the song. Christianity teaches you to hate all the parts of you that don't fit some outdated golden standard. It's a toxic, loveless system.

@Ellie_3658

2 жыл бұрын

@@CFoCMinistries please stop. If someone dose not believe in the same thing as you dose not mean you need to be harsh or hypocritical about it. I’m fact being a hypocrite is something your not supposed to be as Jesus said “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to”. (I may potentially be wrong if this is not what he said, I’m trusting the internet for this one. If I’m wrong please let me know.) Don’t push religion on others, have a nice day.

i didn't grew up christian. I'm not even baptised but still... it resonates with me, can't stop listening. beautifull song

"When I look in the mirror for too long it hurts, they don't have to track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert" That just hits hard

I've been sobbing for an hour now, i actually went to skip this song on radio and then it just fucking hit. I can't stop listening to this, it's so incredibly relatable and your voice is so beautiful. You are wildly talented.

I'm Buddhist and I cried to this song

This song made me cry so much because I relate to this. I grew up Christian and all this just is relate able to me. Specially when I got into Jr-High I compared myself to others and I felt different then other people.

Maybe this isn’t the same as everyone else’s story. But I grew up Christian and have struggled with my faith forever. Currently thinking about leaving my faith all together. I’ve prayed and tried to have faith my whole life. But my body is still shutting down. I do everything right. I’ve lost weight, eat healthy, workout. And my heart is still having problems and not even the doctors know why. i prayed and worshipped a month straight.. and now I'm even worse. people always talk about gods healing powers and i want to believe but it just feels like God must hate me. and when i die. which will probably be soon ill pay for my disbelief

@annay2743

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, god loves you whatever, and even if that means you need a little time away from him before you get answers that’s ok :) you are loved by so many people, god included but also so many others! I hope you get the healing you deserve, I’m praying for you and don’t give up! Your strong for going through all of this but it will get better ;)

@pluribus3362

2 жыл бұрын

If god is real, and he is as loving as people say. I highly doubt they would punish you for losing faith. Only a monster would do that.

@selflove7737

2 жыл бұрын

@@pluribus3362 thank you

@selflove7737

2 жыл бұрын

@@annay2743 thank you ❤️