Its not about the money... it’s about sending a message

"A little bit of piss never hurt nobody" -Pat 2019

@merten0083

4 жыл бұрын

We got'em

@xDrunkenLugiax

3 жыл бұрын

Coming to this after Pod ep 82 gives me double the chuckles

Funny work story. I buy a FitBowl for my lunch one day. Put it in the freezer in the morning Lunch time comes around, i go get it It gone. Frustrated, i go tell my boss I'm gonna take a longer lunch because i now have to go out and buy a new one LO AND BEHOLD my boss, in her office, EATING MY FUCKING LUNCH

@luvhair255

4 жыл бұрын

Someone that is probably making more than you stealing your food is just the biggest dick move. People feel so entitled for absolutely no reason.

@SharkNinjaBlueStar

4 жыл бұрын

At that point it'd be _real_ fuckin hard to decide if keeping my job is worth not letting a thief _who is my fuckin boss_ not catch these hands.

@jerQCote

4 жыл бұрын

@@luvhair255 to be fair. She didn't realize it was mine and bought me lunch to apologize.

@pokehybridtrainer

4 жыл бұрын

@@jerQCote Didn't know it wasn't theirs? Hard to forget placement of a meal in the fridge.

@ArcRay20

4 жыл бұрын

@@jerQCote i have no business weighing on this subject, but how does this still happen in offices? i feel like that the fridges wouldnt be pre-stocked with food for the work place cuz its an office and not a cafeteria. so the fridge is there more for people who bring in their own food. beyond that it seems super weird to see new food in the fridge, not recognize it as being there before or as your own item, then just go and eat it anyways because yeah that totally makes sense.

Im a security guard at a large FTZ and you best BELIEVE we have cameras trained those breakrooms. We had a guy dubbed the 'burrito bandit' and you can bet it felt good catching that bastard.

@foreverokami16

4 жыл бұрын

burrito bandit XD

@Redscinti

4 жыл бұрын

Was that fiend executed

@Abdega

4 жыл бұрын

Ladies and gentlemen… *WE GOT EM*

I love seeing Woolie become as unreasonable and Pat on certain situations. "You stole my Doordash Order? I'm jumping on your bumper!" "You took my lunch out of the fridge? Fist fight!"

@PunishedBlake

4 жыл бұрын

How is that unreasonable? The fucker is stealing from him. That guy didn't care if Woolie went hungry or if Woolie would get his money back. And the guy stealing from Pat wanted to just get this shit marked off as a job well done and get his paycheck.

@SuzakuX

4 жыл бұрын

A grudge over food is deeper than the ocean.

@blaacksugar7714

4 жыл бұрын

Woolie grew up with brothers. He had to fight for his food...and respect.

According to Men in Black 2, the postal service IS actually run by aliens

@oradrive745

4 жыл бұрын

I was waiting this comment

@Jackboy019

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah probably illegal aliens

@goodninji8

2 жыл бұрын

Illegal Smailiens

The thing that bothers me about the “little kid and utopia” thing as a thought experiment is that it presumes that utopia requires suffering in order to maintain it. We don’t need to have child labor to build Smart phones- it’s not like companies can’t afford to pay adults real wages, they’re just greedy.

@stopthis8171

4 жыл бұрын

I believe it comrd from an old interpretation of utopia where people had to be slaves for 2 or 3 years before being admitted to be apart of it. They would be a major part of infrastructure, their work including building housing and working the fields for the people who weren't slaves. Since then a lot of stories involving utopia usually was on the back of a lesser caste, who's suffering made the lives of people above all the better.

@HEMA_Fight_Breakdowns

4 жыл бұрын

@@stopthis8171 there is absolutely no way these chuckle-fucks have read that much Plato

@Dante45p

4 жыл бұрын

yeah thats rich and its the economic system that makes slaves a thing as profits come before everything in capitalist

@Abdega

4 жыл бұрын

I don’t think it presumes it’s required, more like a system where suffering emerged would continue because people would be complacent if it’s not happening to them and really not do much to change it Capitalist phone made using abusive labor? Oh well People being put into “re-education camps” by socialist govt? Oh well Disaster happen recently? Oh well Better change my profile pic to make it seem like I did something

@JackSilver1410

4 жыл бұрын

No greed? Greed's super bad, not a single part of it? Awesome, I'll send you some information and you can go ahead and just give me all your paychecks. It would be greedy to keep that money, so I'll remove temptation from you.

The post office is just a placebo

@theqreem8587

4 жыл бұрын

But is Placebo stronger than Florida Man?

@onimaxblade8988

4 жыл бұрын

@@theqreem8587 Florida man is just placebo. Which makes him even realer and scarier, in a way.

Walk up to Food Thief’s car with a baseball bat. “Hey, buddy. You a fan’a Street Fighter?”

@goodninji8

4 жыл бұрын

"You've got two options right now: One: Hand me my food and have a nice day. Two: Respect the pipe."

0:53 mailiens attempting to jedi mind trick pat into illiteracy

We finally have a recording of Woolie threatening Pat moments before he killed him three years ago. Finally we can have a verdict and close the case.

My local post office lost a sweater I bought online. Three times. At the exact same point. And all they had to say for themselves was "It wasn't sent through the premium system, so as soon as it came into the country, we haven't the slightest on where it is unless it gets here". And I got a whole lot of attitude for nothing, too. Calling them useless would be praise.

@Abdega

4 жыл бұрын

It’s just… where did it go?

Pat's not entirely insane at the end; person can live without food for at least a week, they'll just hate it and get really lethargic. Now, water, on the other hand...3 days max.

The Finnish post office is cursed magic.

0:53 Pat was under attack from the Postal Services Long Range Stand. I call it 「Give Up」

In my country its the opposite. The national postal service is ass. They lose packages all the time and then the hide behind layers of bureaucracy. The private firms on the other hand are actually reliable

@BigFingerRo

4 жыл бұрын

What country would this be? Just curious, since _my_ third world country has that issue too.

@Brazen992

4 жыл бұрын

Endor 66 Sounds like Royal Mail

@plebugen9659

4 жыл бұрын

@@BigFingerRo croatia

if somebody repeatedly steals your food. just spike your own food and wait for the first person to run to the bathroom. their not gonna know, and nobody else has to know. but you will know.

@PunishedBlake

4 жыл бұрын

Kinda like how Frank in Always Sunny bought a weird type of meat and then when his grown ass children stole his meat, he made them believe it was human flesh. Thus making them go insane and try to eat a former priest turned hobo.

@Abdega

4 жыл бұрын

I’m a fan of the sugar free gummy bears

@JackSilver1410

4 жыл бұрын

Spice that sandwich with a little giant hogweed. It will be a lesson that they never forget.

"this is the kind of petty minor stuff that escalates" Pat, really? Petty? we are talking about what is rightfully yours that you earned and someone just waltzs in and just takes it without a 2nd thought, someone you probably dont even know. anybody has a right to be pissed if the offending party doesnt at least apologize.

@Abdega

4 жыл бұрын

HE DIDN’T SAY “SORRY!” **

Order not Deliver I'll take your Liver. Woolie Car Dash Woolie Car Smash.

This whole conversation made me progressively more pissed off by just listening to those stories

Log on youtube see title (The Post Office Is Magic) Shell shock kicks in. (I'm a two-time ex-postal worker thats soft banned from delivering mail in one suburb)

@jackpollard550

4 жыл бұрын

Our condolences, trooper.

@Aeonknight87

4 жыл бұрын

I only lasted 8 months. The most hostile work environment I've ever been in. Management actively tries to make you suffer. I don't even WANT to know how bad it got after the Amazon deal kicked in.

@train9703

4 жыл бұрын

@@Aeonknight87Oh I have an idea...

@gabrielperrella

4 жыл бұрын

@@Aeonknight87 How and why does your management want to aggravate their work force?

As someone who works in one of those warehouses, I can confirm that people just throw that shit into a massive pile and say 'good enough'.

i get this really satisfying release of anger and frustraition when you guys tell stories about how you want to kick the shit out of terrible people...i dont know if that makes sense, that make sense to anyone? like, im sat here, getting angry that someone would do that to you guys, but at the same time im like "fuck yeah, you totally would fist fight a guy if he stole your food at work"

@PunishedBlake

4 жыл бұрын

It's your desire for justice porn as Woolie talked about at some point. People wanna believe scumbags get punished.

@lancetlo

4 жыл бұрын

I'd totally hunt down a doordash thief

Funnily enough, I recently had an amazon package(with 2 day shipping) that was being delivered by USPS and it took them nearly 2 weeks. The package apparently toured my state, went back and forth between two cities, and finally arrived in a beaten to hell box, wrapped in plastic. The paint can exploded or got ran over by a truck because holy shit it’s was like a murder scene haha. Amazon easily refunded us, which is always good.

I like the idea of "you steal my food, now I get to go to w/e fancy restaurant I want and the bill will be directly deducted from your next paycheck". Depending on how hungry, fancy and petty I'm feeling, motherfucker's gonna have a negative salary next month.

the absolute worst is when part of your food order is missing and you got just enough food to make the delivery charge worth it but now its not worth it

@francescolombardi3438

4 жыл бұрын

it's never worth it unless it all gets delivered!

But Pat what if they like being pissed on? You've just made the exchange more worthwhile for them.

A USPS woman swore up and down she didn't have my package when I met her at the mailbox, even though the shipping order said the package was out for delivery. She drove off, and then fifteen minutes later came back, rang my door and apologized. As it turned out, my package WAS in the back of her delivery truck and had fallen behind a load of other packages, and she didn't realize until two streets later.

"The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas" sounds like Dororo.

@goldlight1322

4 жыл бұрын

A paradise built on demon magic through sacrificing a child... Yeah that sums it up pretty well.

Estonia, EU, never had issues with any private delivery services. Never anyone tried to do any bullshit such as leaving the package on the street and driving away. They actually can't do that - to mark a package as delivered, they are required to receive a signature upon delivery. Plus I usually use the services that deliver to parcel terminals more often - that way you don't have to care about delivery times, your package is safe and you can pick it up any time - little to no chances of delivery fraud.

I had a door dash driver pick up my food, drive to a dispensery, and then go home and eat my food and get high....

Delivery going "STAY HUNGRY"

As someone who had to send in his bricked Switch to Nintendo through them last year, I can confirm that Purolator is far from an ideal postal courier.

In smaller countries it easier to handle this. A gypsy cab stole from my nana so we just found out were her house was. Which was only a few minutes away kicked down the door and took her stuff back. Also: Gypsy cab just mean unregistered car.

@HenriqueGdeC

4 жыл бұрын

aw c'mon, the story with an actual gypsy was so much better

@Dante45p

4 жыл бұрын

well for the USPS its been slowly hindered by the GOP in order to allow UPS and fedex in

@RipOffProductionsLLC

4 жыл бұрын

I misread "cab" as "crab", which was a hilarious mental image.

@JackSilver1410

4 жыл бұрын

@@Dante45p Yeah? The GOP actively made the local USPS lady a fucking gormless idiot who will just throw books into the yard to get snowed on for a week? How's that bunker of yours? Comfy? Amazing that you can get internet down there.

as someone whose currently working as a CCA in the USPS it made feel a little better about this terrible job.

I once had an order with 4 identical meals from doordash and they rang the doorbell like 5 times frantically and gave me the food and left in a hurry. I went to give everyone their food and found one bag missing so I ran out to the car before she pulled off to ask if maybe one of the bags fell out of the bigger bag and I saw her kid eating it and like I felt like shit but I had people to feed too. I was debating on reporting it but I just let everyone else eat and missed a meal that night. I just reported it as a missing item not "this woman clearly stole my food" so it was refunded.

If you steal ANYTHING from a co-worker you get a "strike" from HR. 3 strikes get you fired. How's that for equivalent exchange?

@werewolf873

4 жыл бұрын

Nah, theft requires single offense termination

@TAMAMO-VIRUS

4 жыл бұрын

@@werewolf873 with food thief being put on your resume for the rest of your life

@kiana5066

4 жыл бұрын

@@werewolf873 Well, not all crimes are alike. It's petty theft and should be dealt with accordingly, no matter the lizard-brain reaction...

So... How much do you all tip your Postman on Christmas?

I don't know about Canada, but in Portugal the postal service is garbage. They pay their employees poorly, and don't give enough training, and in turn the service suffers for it

@Wulfsmasher

4 жыл бұрын

Also, what the fuck is up with delivery companies in America just leaving the packages on the front door? Here they always call. Shit, I had a delivery driver leave a bunch of warhammer stuff with me, IN SCHOOL, on the other side of town, he actually drove all the way there, delivery address be damned. They always call beforehand too

@kirbyfanprime

4 жыл бұрын

@@Wulfsmasher I think they find it easier than taking it back to the distribution center and calling the recipient that they have the package. Still isn't great, but I see the thought process.

Woolie goes from steeling pies to having his pies getting stolen back , hmmm carma?

I came to this videok because a delivery service has messed up my pickup date because "The driver made a mistake"

If any of you ever stepped foot into a package sorting facility, "USPS, UPS, FedEx fucked me over" would very quickly turn into "Oh yeah thats understandable."

M A I L I E N S

"Can't we just eat the kid or something?" Funny enough, I first heard this story from a podcast on canabilism. It contained crazy shit like people eating thier dead because that way they're not really gone, we carry them inside us.

@DaBoweh

4 жыл бұрын

No one's ever really gone.

I just had my food stolen and I had to come here for catharsis.

Me: a little bit of shit never hurt anybody *Shits in sandwich and puts it in the work fridge*

Mailiens are real bro

A child being tormented so society can live peacefully and prosper? Sounds like what happened to Angra Mainyu in the nasuverse

@francescolombardi3438

3 жыл бұрын

Therapist: So..what seems to be the problem? Angra: (lays down onto the therapy recliner) It all started..when i was born

The reason that small slights make otherwise normal people so incredibly angry is that they represent the collapse of society. In war-torn places you're worried about dying, in the first world you're worried about your package being stolen. It's the representation of the war-torn world creeping into your nice first world, and that's a HUGE threat. Because they are small actions, like theft of food, it inspires reprisal, which in turn inspires reprisal, and it spirals into greater incivility. We inherently want to punish the small action with big punishment because it's such a petty thing, only a massive punishment could reasonably convince someone not to do it if merely being too civilized not to do it in the first place isn't enough of an incentive. The rule is "don't steal," and if that's too complicated, we'll chop off your hand to remind you not to do it, and act as a warning everyone else to not trust you. The Code of Hammurabi had the right of it.

@PegasusMerc

4 жыл бұрын

I feel like chopping off someone's hand is too severe. They should just get a little brand on their cheek that says 'LUNCH THIEF'.

That restaurant delivery convo triggered me lol. Once had my order stolen, just like Pat described. Caught driver making a bullshit excuse about the restaurant being closed. But worse is when I got the refund and resubmitted the order, it arrived missing the 2 main items :| Now I had to wait for a THIRD DRIVER do make my delivery so I could eat, a whole 2.5 hours after I ordered.

Woolie saying that public entities operate better than private ones is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

I may or may not be working at Canada Post now...

I've been a USPS carrier for a couple of months now and it is insane. Regardless of how much mail/ads/parcels we get, we are told to get back to the office by 4 or 5. Then, if you're a new guy, you have to get back out there to cover part of regular's route. Hardest job I've ever had. Also, while we are a federal organization, we are run like a private company. None of our revenue comes from tax money.

Im not entirely familiar with abroad post offices but with the Norwegian post office, they usually send out a note if a package is ems wares or doesn't fit the mailbox (you show the note to your local post office to retrieve it). However, the timing on the notes range from "we sent this later even tho you already retrieved your package thanks to our websites tracking function, whoops" to (and this happened to me once) "you already got your package? Lets send this retrieval note 1 MONTH LATER LMAOOO". So yeah, thank god for tracking. Also, a friend of mine used to work part-time at his local post office, and he had to work there during Christmas, poor soul.

I actually thought the title was 'life post The Office is magic'. That they just really were sick of the office memes.

From a utilitarian perspective, the story of Omelas sounds like a pretty good deal. The math all adds up to a net positive.

@sunpsyco7073

4 жыл бұрын

exactly why utilitarianism is a horrible philosophy. it justifies shit like that.

@francescolombardi3438

3 жыл бұрын

@@sunpsyco7073 b-b-b-but muh utopia

I think even Edward Elric would be "fuck Equivalent exchange" on this topic XD

I know you guys don't have cars, but the way you don't get your food stolen is to just pick it up yourself. If, somehow, somebody still screws you, you're right there to complain. Plus, you don't pay extra for an unreliable delivery service.

I'd recommend The Ones Who Walk Away From Omela's to anyone, btw, really short and sweet... I don't think the child gets beaten, iirc, however it does live alone, scared and isolated, is basically in constant suffering.

Woole going Street Fighter on the dude's car

It's been awhile. I can't tell which part of Pat's face is his head! The Fluffy top part, or the fuzzy beard?

There's a Princess Luna reference in here somewhere.

The thing about the Doordash though is that technically, THEY are the ones who "hunted that meat and foraged those berries". Not Woolie. All Woolie did was call and make an order. I understand his logic, but the Doordash food thieves might have that same logic too.

@UltimaKeyMaster

4 жыл бұрын

I mean, they also didn't do it. They grabbed a finished meal. The "hunters and foragers" are the establishment you're picking up from. All the driver is is the mailman for the food.

Woolie gave me an idea Okay, so this is a dumb thing I’m pitching to Woolie/Super Eyepatch Wolf for putting Omelas into the Angel City wrestling world but here it goes: New Omelas, In New Omelas, someone’s treated like crap, but instead of one poor child treated like that in perpetuity, one citizen is selected for one day at random. It happens to every citizen and doesn’t repeat citizens until everyone has had “their day” One of the characters, maybe the main characters (Ren and Rin I think were their names?) are traveling through the city but one of them is selected to have “their day” despite not being citizens. Shortly afterwards, society in the city begins to crumble because the character *FIGHTS BACK* I’m not 100% sure how the story would end, but I’m leaning towards thinking it would be good if that became like a new citizenship test for the city. Now whenever someone new is traveling through, there is a small chance someone comes up to them with a challenger’s belt that is emblazoned with “New Omelas New Citizen” and is like “Hey! So you were selected to be a new citizen of the city, How do you wanna do this?” They then have one of 4 options: Take all challengers all day in an arena, Take all challengers all day in the streets, Take all challengers all day in a setting of their choosing, Leave the city and don’t return until they’re ready to have “their day”

the moment Woolie goes full on Ross

@JoninJordan

4 жыл бұрын

lotharworks *MY SANDWICH!?*

Oh jeez, The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas. I remember reading that in 7th grade, and it fucked me up. Could never remember the title, though.

other apex solutions in the workplace, replace their chair with a shitty chair, take away any extremities on their desk or whatever, and this is somewhat cruel but cut their hours so their break time is shorter

We talkin about Klaus? Get dat word out

@NameIsDoc

4 жыл бұрын

Just don't watch the new netflix trailer...

@NtFrQ

4 жыл бұрын

Klaus veen???

I've never had a private delivery service not be better than post office

MIB 2 #dailed it

Plot Twist: "The International Shipping and Postage System actually IS run by fucking aliens."

I'm glad I live in a small country where this type of shit happens VERY RARELY.

Ross was right for flipping his shit when someone took his turkey sandwich, but you don't realize it until you have your sandwich taken from you.

I beg to differ, most people can endure without eating for an entire month according to studies, without water its a whole other thing.A week without eating seems appropriate if the criminal its a legal adult.

I thought this was about The Office

And in 2020, it's kinda the only way.

Holy shit woolly bringing up a science-fiction story that was in the same book as I have no mouth and I will s Holy shit Woollie bringing up a science-fiction story that was in the same book as I have no mouth and I must scream

With the talk of the food talk and delivery food, I was in Indianapolis for a bit they had a pizza hut... THAT ALWAYS FORGOT SOMETHING! FUCKING ALWAYS! Like I'd get a medium supreme pizza with stuffed crust, and a 16 piece of boneless buffalo wings because they were so cheap, and a pepsi. Then they'd get here and forget either A, the buffalo wings, b. the pepsi or C. if I ordered 2 different kinds of wings like garlic Parmesan and buffalo wings they'd forget one or the other then they'd take like an hour to get my soda... even though it was like 2 miles away! I think I only had one time where they cancelled the order, with Jack in the box they did it and they were like. "We had to cancel your order because they didn't have the stuff you wanted." What the fuck? They didn't have Jalapeno poppers and a ultimate bacon cheese burger? Let me order again and then they brought me my food. It's crazy stupid.

My Little Mail: Post Office is Magic

@PunishedBlake

4 жыл бұрын

You coulda done My Little Pony Express. It'd be an outdated form of postal delivery, but it'd work.

Its true no work argument is more intense than stolen food. The only person I ever turned in for shit behavior was a food thief and HE GOT FUCKIN FIRED YEAH

I sincerely thought there was a sequel to the office.

I'm normally not a confrontational person. But the stealing food shit? Nah bro......

Is the Canadian postal service really good? As an American this is such a foreign concept to me I have to assume they're being sarcastic

@kisame786

4 жыл бұрын

Woolie has praised their post office before and even then I thought it was a joke since our post office sucks I would legit pay if it means the post office doesn't touch any of my mail

@Abdega

4 жыл бұрын

I hear the USPS used to be good and started going downhill after some Congress budget shenanigans. After a budget audit was made, it turns out over many decades the USPS was found to be overpaying into various funds by some estimates as much as $100 billion. One would think that if the Post Office took that surplus out to pay deficits and debts that would be okay, but since Congress views the surplus as part of its budget, any removal would be considered adding to the deficit because it’s all lumped into one large pool of funds. So instead of taking some amount of money out of $100 billion, Congress views it as taking some amount of money out of $0 because of how they would set the budget every year. So after using some money to pay off some debts, Congress was like “Hey you have more debts now from the money you took from us.” USPS is like “What about the money you have been taking from US?!” Congress is like, “What money?” After a while of this, to try and balance the various budgets the USPS started cutting more and more services and became worse and worse

Who the fuck tips the Post?!

the logic of someone who steals food from the person they're delivering to baffles me. i paid you the price of the meal plus the price for transport, and if you're an extra good boy, i probably tipped you 20%. _GO BUY YOUR OWN FUCKING FOOD._ then you don't have to steal from me and pray to god i didn't add anything weird in the order!

MLP gaiden: post office is magic

1:50 I mean leaving isn’t helping the kid so

4:15 Is this a Canadian thing? In the USA, the private delivery companies are better than the US Postal service. (Granted, the USPS got a lot better over the last 5 years, but it's still behind.)

@JackSilver1410

4 жыл бұрын

USPS sucks big hairy meeches. It ruins my day when I see that a package has been handed off to them because it means it will be a week late and I'll have to start checking the drainage ditch to see if it was thrown in there.

The lesson here is to get food yourself. These people are shady af.

And this is why i buy food from a store its healthier and cheaper and you dont have to rely on possible deadbeats to deliver your food. like legit besides chinese food and pizza its not worth it to have it delivered.

Ndailed it.

Pat kelly

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few

Speak for yourself. There will be days where my local post office will just decide to not go out and deliver or pick up the phone to explain why they're not delivering. Or there'll be days where they deliver, but just not take your outgoing mail even though your flag is up. I get it, postal worker is a rough job, but I'd have more sympathy if you actually did it. Never had a problem with UPS FedEx on the other hand must have "Asshole" listed as a prerequisite for the job.

@kirbyfanprime

4 жыл бұрын

Had a friend who did FedEx for a few months. He told me it was the most soul crushing experience he'd ever had. At least USPS actually pays well and has benefits, unlike FedEx.

C'mon guys you gotta try skip the dishes. It's canadian made and you can always live chat with somebody if the driver or restaurant fucks up your order.

Aye man, people can sruvive a couple of weeks without food... all im saying.

Im pretty sure the problems woolie has had with ups has to be a regional thing, for me it's the complete opposite the post office is ass and UPS , and FedEx are way better

I live in the United States and the postal service sucks

You know why the service of these companies is so bad? Because they are paid by the delivery and are paid badly, so having to wait actively means they can't pay the bills. As for why they are in cars, it is because when they have a van they have had to rent it from the company out of their own pay, so using their car means they get to take home their meagre wage. Capitalism, folks.

I just go get my own food and dont door dash shit cause of shit like this