What words of comfort and encouragement can you offer to Shannon?

@paulinefundora4567

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes it help u have to cry 😭 sometime

@paulinefundora4567

2 жыл бұрын

The medication helps a lot but you got to take one day at a time

@paulinefundora4567

2 жыл бұрын

Yes yes

@paulinefundora4567

2 жыл бұрын

Thx you Shannon

@cobyloewen3388

2 жыл бұрын

YOU are angel walking on earth for your mother. My mother, too, suffers from delusions and paranoias. It’s very, very tough. But, yes, there are those precious moments. Thanks for sharing. Stay strong.

Shannon is doing wonderful work with her mom. She shared good and trying experiences and many great ideas with us. She was completely honest and clear in her thinking. Thank you Shannon. You are a gem. ♥️

@shannonmulder1657

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Karen

This is what I needed to hear today. This story is my story. I truly thought I was alone in this. Obviously I know that people are going through this but in the moment you feel so alone. I am caretaking for my mother who has vascular dementia and it has been a nightmare. Everything she's describing from anxiety to paranoia to I'm the bad guy is my story and what makes it even harder is growing up. My mom was abusive to me and my brother and she was very hard to get along with and she really traumatized my life to where I went some negative routes for majority of my life and I blamed her for it. So after I dealt with all that stuff and I got my life on track which I felt like was a god moment. I started noticing changes in my mother who at the time had a power of attorney who was abusing her authority and I got her out of that situation and I moved her to the town that I live in and assisted living and the only true way I've been able to forgive her in some sense is by taking care of her. The part that fights me in the butt is that my child like mine wants resolution and wants an apology. But now since it's progressed I know I will never get it because she has turned into an absolute self-absorbed narcissist and all she talks about and thinks about is herself and her needs and I'm supposed to accommodate those and it's a full-time job on top of my two other jobs. So hearing this was awesome knowing that other people are going through. This obviously helps a lot. I appreciate channels like this. I really just typed in how to deal with a parent who has dementia because I was at a loss at what to do and these videos are very limited so the fact that you have a channel based on it is absolutely phenomenal

Shannon's experience is similar to mine so it is helpful to hear how someone else is managing the anger & frustration & exhaustion. Thank you.

@DementiaCareblazers

3 жыл бұрын

Sending you love!

@lynylcullen8370

3 жыл бұрын

Linda - It definitely helps to hear these experiences. Somehow it’s validation that we are not alone. We all get scared and overwhelmed. AND WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS! I was worried that the interviews might be sad and depressing.. knowing how many of us are out here struggling. But it absolutely has brought me comfort, tears of sadness for our fellow CareBlazers, joy in their ability to laugh in the tough times & the victories even when they are small. The courage it takes to make the decisions and have so much on our shoulders is eased. I’m extremely grateful for Dr Natali reaching out and letting us have a platform for expression and community. Hugs to you!

Every time you ask your careblazers “what are you doing to take care of yourself” it hits me hard because I always try and answer that question and I can never come up with an answer.

@shannonmulder1657

2 жыл бұрын

Jacqueline I hope you can find a little nugget of care each day, and then add another little nugget of care. Natali taught me, it doesn't have to be big, it can be something little that fits into your day. I hope you get the first nugget of care today and that it builds from there. I am so sorry for your thought journey...

@debby891

11 ай бұрын

Same for me and am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted

Thanks Shannon I needed this. I'm caregiver for my dad and for my brother with stage 4 cancer. Holding on to the good words was an awesome statement. Keep up the good work careblazers we need it out here.

What a lovely, positive and caring person you are - thanks for sharing what has worked for you and your mom!

These videos are so so helpful. Please continue making them. Thank you so much.

@DementiaCareblazers

3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad they are helping. The plan is release a new one every Tuesday. ❤️

Thank you for this video❤. It’s very helpful when we hear from other caregivers because no one really understands unless they are the one caring for someone 24/7, the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion and the changes they see too. So many times people are full of suggestions but unless they do it, they simply don’t understand the day to day issues

This was very helpful.

Thank you for your sharing! We have a mentally challenged person who calls our loved one at her memory care home twice daily. Sharing our loved ones activity schedule with her and asking her to encourage participation may be helpful to both of them.

my mum bday today, in care home uk with dementia,only been there since end of may, they made such a fuss and had afternoon tea, sang happy birthday etc, they are clearly so caring, been very upsetting journey for our family my sis and i both struggle but she is safe, cared for and looks well so that is my solace i guess as we have struggled for a few yrs before this.........so we feel so sad but she is safe, we are comforted x i totally understand your struggles shannon, thank you for sharing x mum in out hosp for months prior to care home so we are thankful she is safe even tho we hv to sell her home........thank you for sharing

@shannonmulder1657

2 жыл бұрын

I wish I felt like my mom was getting truly loving care...I do not trust her facility.

Shannon you are a wonderful daughter who is choosing to take care of your mother. I am in the same situation with my mom but interestingly when my mom accuses me of bad things she almost assumes then that it is not her daughter she is talking about. I caught on to that and ask abt her "daughter" and she praises "her". So now I am able to not take anything personally and ask her to talk abt her daughter. This has helped me tremendously to not feel emotionally impacted by what she says straight on my face.

@shannonmulder1657

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Meena!

@shannonmulder1657

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Meena. Interesting, sometimes mom does that with me too:) Keep going with your mom:) I'm Trying to see daily blessings and think true thoughts...

Thank You for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. I am inspired by you.

Great Lady! Love all the conversations with care givers that could be therapist's like this lady! God Bless her kind soul!

Thank you Shannon for sharing, and your doing a good job. God bless.

Shannon, you are not alone. I am caring for my mom who has Alzheimer’s as well. It is so challenging and truly unless someone is walking in your shoes it is easy to sympathize but really can’t truly empathize. You are not alone. Keep your chin up. I will have you in prayer - for strength, for comfort, for guidance and wisdom. Above all patience.

Shannon, thanks for sharing your story. I really connected with what you said. I am having difficulty managing the times when my mom is have her moments. I am at a place right now where I need someone to talk to and looking for outlets. You are doing a wonderful job.

Your story gives me hope, for me and my mom. Thank you so much for sharing. The tips were great. I'm in the process of learning how to change my mind set...whew....its difficult...but do able. Many blessings to you , your mom and whole family. 🙏💓🙏

Shannon thank you for sharing. I admire your hard work and selflessness. Please do not ever feel you could have done more or things differently. You are an incredible loving daughter. All the best to your mom and family.

@shannonmulder1657

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Gina.

This sounds very similar to my mother in law’s situation. She has significantly declined to where we are needing to look at residential placement. She has near zero resources financially, so the placement options are tragically inadequate - even when she becomes Medicaid eligible. It’s beyond heartbreaking. I wish you peace and comfort, knowing you have done and are doing a good, job.

After a cascade of events I went from the golden child who lived a mile away compared to brothers who live out of state, to the black sheep of the family who is always under suspicion for paranoid delusions. She has reassigned all the authority I had had for years to a brother.

Same with my mom that she incredibly declined with covid, but didn’t get covid until she moved into assisted living 3 yrs later.

One healthy tip from me: Mental health I use yoga and meditation everyday. 😊

@DementiaCareblazers

3 жыл бұрын

Those are great tips!

I'm going thru what your mother is. You sound like you understand this so well. Thank you!

Ask your doctor to prescribe Aricept. For some it has a profound benefit in restoring memory and language skills.

Thx you for videos , I had hubby in a memory care and the neglect was horrible I have him home and Iam happy I did He is now in Hospice , however he had more quality of life after I brought him

In my mom's case, you have to ride the hard wave, then she calms

Fabulous share!

You are such a good listener

Thank you! I can very much relate, this caregiver is amazing!

@FloridaGirlAdventures

9 ай бұрын

Btw this is my Mom with every description

Praying 🙏🏽 to God I will be able to care for my mom!

Thinking of you Shannon.

My grandmother had delusions and anxiety and lived with us for 5 years before she died....I was 15 and it caused a lot of stress and trauma on me and my poor mum (she had a breakdown after) ...but socially she was happy and talkative and nobody saw the dark side of dementia. Unfortunately it was 1971 and we did not know how to deal with dementia... we were so angry, and sorry but my mum did not choose to care for nana, in those days the other siblings said " we can't do it" and there were not even nursing homes in our little town.

Thanks!

@DementiaCareblazers

8 ай бұрын

You are so welcome! Thank you for you kind support.

My dad has symptoms of being delusional about smelling smells from neighbour that he accuses is trying to poison him. Can't reason him.out of it and no one else smells it. He seems alright with other aspects and can hold.a normal conversation. Would it help to point out to him with some articles about delusions and dimentia to help him understand what he might be going through?

@steviem5279

3 жыл бұрын

my dad has FTD and delusions too...it's difficult to deal with. My dad's biggest issue is that he thinks he owns every house in the neighborhood and when he sees the neighbors it freaks him out. I wish I knew how to deal with this part because he did go after the neighbor a few weeks back.

This sounds like my Mom but it not everyday. Does this mean she’s in the early stages?

Yes

*SHARON YES YOU HAVE IT TOUGH... imagine you have 4 relatives with dementia and 4 mentally midget siblings who 24/7 impede all your hard work non stop.*

Hi love ur videos. I need help she would not take her meds all was she is just old. And she said will not go to the doctor at allI need help please.

This C 19 doesn’t help at all my husband have Dementia and is really hard for me but good things I work in neurology I could work with his thx u Jesus It’s not easy it hurts but I try to use psychology with him

Yes it helps to hear others journey & moving forward instead of looking back. 🙏🕯️📖🩸✝️🩸📖🕯️🙏

Huge decline during COVID. Exactly.

The same here

Mom is currently experiencing a lengthy delusion. We tried redirection and several other things. In short, she believes someone in her building has stolen a hall mascot toy. The toy is gone. That is true. The delusion is she believes the item was given to her by my brother. Unfortunately, her delusion has progressed to paranoid behavior with her repeatedly standing outside the "thief's" door. I'm praying it's a UTI and not a dramatic change in her dementia.

My husband will not admit he has dementia. He has delusions, and paranoia. He has decided I am having an affair with my pastor so he wants to change churches. The church is my entire support system and I can't leave. He has become violent once and I had him committed before I realized he had dementia. I love him but it is so difficult.

The naturopath sounds kind of dangerous and very uninformed regarding your mom. Also, you might consider Medi-Cal or Medicaid (depending on where you are) Sounds like you are trying your best to honor who she has been and trying to support where she is. My stepmom lives at home my sister does the 24/7 care and i help multiple times a week and she also declined during Covid. We are lucky to have a good doctor for her who we can contact by text or calling anytime (and the rollercoaster of the last year and constant UTI's that has been invaluable) Trust your gut.

@Findecommie

Жыл бұрын

The whole pseudoscience/alternative 'medicine' industry is so predatory, it makes my blood boil

So she said you choose to be the caregiver. That’s not always true in my case I did not choose this. It was forced upon me. My siblings will not help. I cannot find a nursing home with a memory care that will take her for Medicaid pending. I have no choice. My only choice would be to throw her out on the street she’s my mother I’m not going to do that so and that way I did choose that. I chose not to throw my stage 5/6 mother out on the street.

@kindperson1555

3 жыл бұрын

I am sorry that they don’t help

@bushidooffaith4706

3 жыл бұрын

Nikobee wind we don't choose this, we just choose to do the right thing. Like you no help for more years than i can remember. Look within and you'll never be without, all you need is inside you. I have walk my dad to the grave an am doing the same for mum, there is no happy ending, just a satisfying one. God bless you and keep you strong, or better said us.

@lynylcullen8370

3 жыл бұрын

@@bushidooffaith4706 - Yes. We would never “choose” this life for our loved one.. but we DO CHOOSE TO DO THE RIGHT THING & know in our heart that we MUST respect what is going to bring us peace in our soul. Realizing that I AM making the choice..& not simply abandoning her.. it does give me a much stronger energy. I feel GOOD about my choice. I don’t necessarily love this life.. but I am not living with guilt that I didn’t do all I could. At least we here agree that we can’t ever be those kind of ppl who would leave their own parent “on the street”! We have honor and a code of compassion! Thank you!

@nikobeewind2604

3 жыл бұрын

I am feeling frustrated and overwhelmed having to take care of her with no help. She lives with me and i have her on hospice so they take care of baths, that’s awesome. I know it’s me. I’m trying so hard to have the right attitude. I always put a smile on my face for mom but inside I’m dieing. Wish I could afford a home health aide or something so I did not have to do it all, work full time I work from home, take care of my family, and take care of mom. It’s just so much for one person.

@kindperson1555

3 жыл бұрын

@@nikobeewind2604 do you go to church? if not ,call a Baptist church , ask pastor for someone to help you , they volunteer, I know someone to reliefs you,for one hour a day some will help , like this you will feel little better , good luck and Don’t forget God Love you ,when we do Good things in life ,all go in a Bucket ,then when the bucket is full ,all will return to you and your families as it said God shower you and your kids with his blessings, we can see what’s in front of us ,but God can see lots further

She is being too nice to this quack of a naturopath.

You are an 😇

When your own mother does not control her bowels nor bladder, it is time to refer her to a care center, one that you can trust.

@williamwofford2503

3 жыл бұрын

no its time to learn how to change diapers like i did , mom will never see the inside of a nursing home again as long as there is breath in my body

@bushidooffaith4706

3 жыл бұрын

@@williamwofford2503 Amen, I am the master of the diaper change! You only become a master at something with a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT of practices. determination is what keeps me strong, and I see, you as well! keep up the fight. And l agree with you all the way. You start a fight ready to Finnish it, or don't start it at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S but i am a man of 61 years, if l was lady it mite be a little hard, so l don't want to make any one feel bad if they can't

@williamwofford2503

3 жыл бұрын

@@bushidooffaith4706 well it helps that I worked may year in the plumbing industry and so therefore can handle the smell and the mess , some just can't stomach it for those i say try a respirator ......one thing is make sure you never run out of diapers wipes gloves and disposable bed pads ... cause if you run out of supplies you will be Sh!t out of luck lol as for age i am 51 ...mom is 75

@williamwofford2503

3 жыл бұрын

@@bushidooffaith4706 seriously i do understand there are those that cant drop everything to care for an aging parent or loved one , and if you want a REAL SIGN your loved one needs more care than you can provide is if they become violent as in physical abuse toward you hitting slapping biting etc ....... this has not happened yet and a hope that it doesn't .....but i saw many times with my Great grandmother where my Grandma cared for her and there was that kind of abuse ... one time great grandma hit grandma with a wire hair brush and drew blood ..... eventually she just got to be too much for one person to handle ... Grandma had no choice but to put her in a facility ....though it broke her heart to have to do it ...

@bushidooffaith4706

3 жыл бұрын

@@williamwofford2503 I have enough to keep us going for a month, and always top in up before it gets to low. mom is 90, good luck and strength to you.