Never thought of Van Gogh as such a good stand-up comedian

@note2owns

2 жыл бұрын

Woe, he does look like Van Gogh. I can't unsee it now...lol

@osamab814

2 жыл бұрын

😂

@codeinecowboy8607

Жыл бұрын

Never saw that until now lmaoo

@janvanaartrijk9673

Жыл бұрын

And they glued his ear on again !!

@MrMauidiver

Жыл бұрын

“You know “ ? If we did you wouldn’t have a show

I wish I could hear these jokes again for the first time.

@DanPiperWillow

7 жыл бұрын

Here, take my ears ...I wasnt even able to finish it for the first time.

@brentcarper933

6 жыл бұрын

So what

@GuiiBrazil

6 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I just hear something on the topic... and always remember some of Bill Burr video and give a little chuckle out of nowhere. And then, come back here to refresh my memory.

@richfaulkner2789

5 жыл бұрын

I soo agree

@kylethomas9640

5 жыл бұрын

Jordan Rios ayyye

"There's no shirt for your face." LOL

@cytomatrix

6 жыл бұрын

There is if you go to Saudi Arabia. lol.

@michaelc.4321

6 жыл бұрын

Michael Anderson it’s called a mask

@Tammyaway

5 жыл бұрын

To be honest I expected him to talk about Burkas at that point.

@mrsppsrm4321

4 жыл бұрын

Lmfao 💀💀💀 damn my laugh box just broke

@marshallc6885

4 жыл бұрын

Beards

"almost didn't recognize ya, you look so young.. alright take it easy.."

@BucketheadChuck

6 жыл бұрын

lmao

@pantyosashu8137

5 жыл бұрын

Is he-Is he gone? Alright Shred everything! SHRED IT!

@pelementmaker

5 жыл бұрын

"Jeeesus christ!"

@bobleeswagger6138

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah we saw

@LilNicky109

4 жыл бұрын

Bob Lee Swagger Yeah he’s making a comment bitch

“There’s no shirt for your face.” 2020: _Allow me to introduce myself._

@FlyingMalamute

3 жыл бұрын

You win! 🤣🤣

@Tribulatus_Rex

3 жыл бұрын

👍Swaaayyyt!!😂

@andybannerman6678

3 жыл бұрын

Beat me to it ya bastard hahaha

@lilskittle03

2 жыл бұрын

Still doesn't really hide the undereye circles :(

@revekat2053

2 жыл бұрын

@@lilskittle03 sunglasses

Personally, I think older people are very pretty/handsome when they don’t try to pretend that they’re younger. People should wear their wrinkles like honor badges for life.

@SophieBird07

4 жыл бұрын

Klutzy Ninja Kitty, yes, as in “I earned every one of these gray hairs raising you kids, lol.

@gerrywhelan5761

4 жыл бұрын

👍👍.

@johnbravo1034

4 жыл бұрын

Klutzy Ninja Kitty amen!

@banriya3725

4 жыл бұрын

Steve Carrel is the best example wearing their wrinkles like honor badges, man looks hawtt when he reached 50 and hairs went grey

@shakingfan3389

4 жыл бұрын

Your name is klutzy ninja kitty, you’re useless and no one gives a fuck about your thoughts

A 28 year old lizard was not a fan of Bill Burr :(

@kameronrichardson2266

7 жыл бұрын

Chaz Berkman 28 28 year old lizards

@charliebear2048

6 жыл бұрын

The Namez Butt Jangles Make that 86

@abadazadytgaming7200

5 жыл бұрын

They are reproducing, 104

@amitj5916

5 жыл бұрын

A 29 year old is!!!

@xdsmastermia

5 жыл бұрын

129 28 year old lizards lmao burr is awesome!

I was driving to work while listening to this. As soon as he said the lizard comment I laughed so hard that I nearly crossed lanes and hit the guy coming my direction. The guy in the car probably saw me staring dead in his eyes while laughing like a maniac. God only knows what was going through his mind at the time.... either way this joke made my day.

@helloidharbl6753

2 жыл бұрын

You inadvertently poisoned a man's soul just then. You may have created a Hero, maybe a Villain.

@helloidharbl6753

2 жыл бұрын

@johnnytheprick think about it from the other guy's perspective.

@kenlompart9905

2 жыл бұрын

He's probably thinking, I'm getting the f**k away from this nut.

@wd4440

2 жыл бұрын

Wife: How was your day Honey? Him: Some weirdo starred deep into my soul and laughed. I need to be left alone a while. A long while. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@yoshshmenge294

2 жыл бұрын

😆

Doesn't she look 10 years younger? No. She looks surprised. Really surprised.

@yeahnah4303

3 жыл бұрын

lol i thought that was in the skit. lmfaaaoooo you're just that funny

@edp3202

3 жыл бұрын

The skin goes gray.

@jackquentin1950

Жыл бұрын

LMFAAAOO

@CLA82529

Жыл бұрын

Lmaooooo

No one will ever be another George Carlin but, Bill is on the right track😃

"Ant legs stapled on your head" ROFL!

I've never laughed so hard by myself in my entire life. This man is the best therapy the 21st century could have ever offered us.

@insertnamehere5146

2 жыл бұрын

Travis i know its a year later but i have to agree. I'm sitting here laughing like a village idiot with headphones in my laptop whilst my wife watches some shitty hallmark flik on the TV

The wonderful thing about comedians is that they say out loud the things that we all think but are too afraid to say.

@kbtitan2464

2 жыл бұрын

IM SAYIN!!

@Thundermonk99

Жыл бұрын

2:45 3:13 3:13 3:15 3:18 3:18

@Thundermonk99

Жыл бұрын

😊

@TheLastDeadCat

6 ай бұрын

No one wants to say how much this guy ripped off George Carlin, but hey, I AM

@jfayiii

6 ай бұрын

@@TheLastDeadCat he's a direct descendant of Carlin in that honesty is being spoken - otherwise, completely different

"There's no shirt for your face." Welcome to June 2020...

@modisp

3 жыл бұрын

Fak so relevant :D

@t-spintriple4185

3 жыл бұрын

Damn, beat me to that joke!

@aaronr5709

3 жыл бұрын

Stix N' Stones more of a diaper...

@scottmeager5919

3 жыл бұрын

Ah god damn I just made the same joke. I'm not deleting it lol.

"You look fucking weird. You still look like you are in your 50s but I can't figure which year because I have never seen that year" - EPIC!

This should be standard viewing material for any of the bobbleheads that move to LA looking to get into movies. And it should be re-viewed by anyone and everyone already there. Just like renewing a drivers license, they should have to watch this clip at least every 4 years as a reminder. Bill Burr = one of the funniest dudes on earth and is SO spot-on on so many topics. He totally nails this

This is so funny. Even though im at the age he's talking about I cant stop laughing.like the bit when he refers to being 50 saying 'why dont you admit its over! Ha ha

@johnblaze6269

2 жыл бұрын

Ehh my Colombian aunts try but it’s looks terrible they just need to let it go lol, past a certain point no BBL or Botox can beat Father Time

@halleck3

2 жыл бұрын

@Koni Demiko Totally! Just have a to work a little harder at it than you used to.

@awesome346

Жыл бұрын

Jesus loves you ¡!

@johnlee1297

Жыл бұрын

@@johnblaze6269 The Wall is undefeated.

I think the “Jeeesus Christ! What the fuck happened?!” is one of my favorite lines! XD

I always have to remind myself "Do NOT watch Bill burr in office, you can't hold it." And don't drink anything as well, especially SODA drinks.

@vladimirvugdelic1355

4 жыл бұрын

Amin to that

@James.k1373

2 жыл бұрын

Yes definitely sodas, never drink them if you dont want them coming out your nose

Bill’s timing and delivery is perfection.

I was in New York a couple of years ago and my buddy’s teenage son (15) introduced me to Burr. Spreading his gospel now in Australia 🇦🇺....

How can anyone not love this guy? Fucking legend!!!!!

Lol this is what I've always wondered - how the hell can anyone get plastic surgery after having seen someone else who's had it!?!

@e.z.3427

4 жыл бұрын

@𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 Damn Lana, Bella and Angelina? Really? Guess they weren't as perfect and lucky as I might've thought

@WaywardVector

3 жыл бұрын

𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 proof that the prefect woman does not exist. If they are insecure then I don’t want them. I like them imperfect, not like I’m dating a fucking mannequin

@shaheena.3803

3 жыл бұрын

Super insecure people do it

@shaheena.3803

3 жыл бұрын

𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 minor things like nose jobs aren’t a big deal. It’s when people do them repeatedly they end up looking like a deformed fish. Just drink a lot of water, moisturize your skin, exercise, and eat healthy. Also besides nose jobs when people get older the plastic surgery ends up looking like shit.

@jonessoda4me1

3 жыл бұрын

Probably cuz they’re not thinking

that lizard joke is absolute perfection

I wish I did this ten years ago -- No, you don't!

"Fuck it!! I don't give a shit!!" lmao.

@tylerdurden5109

6 күн бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

"There's no shirt for your face!".... LMFAO....

Bill's one of the most naturally funny guys of all time... 😄

When life kick ya in the ass, listening to this guy just makes it better, forking awesome. Thank-you

Bill Burr spot on as usual. Why people pay thousands of dollars to get that shiny look that rather than simply cop a few age-appropriate wrinkles is beyond me. Not only is this clip funny as hell, but if it makes even one person back out from doing that to themselves then old Billy Fantapants has done a good deed.

@awesome346

Жыл бұрын

Jesus loves you ¡!

@TheLastDeadCat

6 ай бұрын

Thousands of dollars for a cheap George Carlin knock off? Being angry at the world doesn't make you a comedian. Neither does ripping off acts.

I love how accurate he can be while being funny

In 1982, two single ladies in their 50's in my office went to get a blepharoplasty. (Eye lift). Had no idea what they had done and when I saw them, after they "returned from vacation", I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with their faces. Two outstanding items: constant look of absolute shock or surprise on their face and their eyes were like glued open...but their necks looked like turkeys. Never said anything, so when they "coyly " asked if I noticed anything different...I just smiled and said they looked happy and relaxed from their long vacations. Promised myself...NEVER FOR ME!

"There's no shirts for your face" A lot has changed in 6 years.

@blesse2099

2 жыл бұрын

Masks

@royhuang9715

2 жыл бұрын

Still no shirt for your face, nobody wants to wear it. Nothing changed really, still an egomaniac country filled with egomaniacs pretending to be something else.

@superderfmen

Жыл бұрын

@@blesse2099 Yes thats what he was implying.

I watched 'Sleepless in Seattle' for the first time last night and the entire time I kept thinking about how incredibly cute Meg Ryan looked. So I looked her up and saw that she had gotten work done and it doesn't look good. Bill expressed alot of the thoughts going through my head when I saw what she looked like today. I know that I don't know this woman and it's her choice but I still felt a bit sad that she didn't think ageing naturally would suit her.

@osmanyousif7849

2 жыл бұрын

And then came Courtney Cox.. BOY did that one not end well.

@calessel3139

2 жыл бұрын

I know, she looks like she got a face transplant from a mannequin.

@barbarahering1310

Жыл бұрын

She got a bad job for sure

@Vaporvice84

Жыл бұрын

Melanie Griffith too.

"I understand liposuction. They screw up with that you can put on a shirt" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

This guy is one of the funniest comedians out there.

Bill Burr’s act is great I remember the first time I heard his jokes ten years ago and there just as funny today as they were back then , if the Doors were still going Bill would be the warm up act

When people get plastic surgery, they don't look like a younger version of themselves. They became someone else. Case in point, Madonna. I remember how a young Madonna look. Definitely not like that.

@JPMcFly1985

3 жыл бұрын

@Neronian Diamanti She doesn't look like 1984 Madonna when she was in her mid 20s (the "Lucky Star" era), but she def doesn't look 61 either. Just like a hella fit and toned 45 year old maybe, but yeah she's a MILF

@edp3202

3 жыл бұрын

It pains me what madonna looks like now. I will always remember her in the 80s, my youth.

@RS54321

2 жыл бұрын

@@JPMcFly1985 She does NOT look 45-she looks like an alien.

@cynthiakeller5954

2 жыл бұрын

@@JPMcFly1985 She looks like a scrawny old man. Scary scary!

It's always the comedians that tell us the truth.

Always speaks truth while still being funny. Brass tacks!!! ♥️

Burr is the funniest comedian! I can watch all of his stand up specials and still crack up.

So glad this popped up on my suggestions. Never heard of him but going to find tickets for this dude! I laughed out loud so loud I scared my cats! 😂😂🤣🤣🤣

1:12 the delivery here absolutely KILLED me lool

“28-year-old lizard” took me out

"Or look like a 28 yr old lizard" ...love it! Had 2 baba's (Xenia and Katherine) who looked and felt like 2 grabdmothers. Adored them..plump, white hair, pink scalp, pleated skirts, pink sweater set, lovely soft wrinkles hands and soooo loving and comforting. Knew I wanted to grow old like them and hold, kiss and cherish my grandchildren and sing them Russian lullabies! Absolutely NO plastic surgery for me...just grow old like God made me!

You just can't get enough of this, I can watch him all the time 😂😂😂

I've watched this like 4 times for the past year and it's still a gold mine

Man! Every time I hit play on any Bill Burr clip, I am for sure gunna get to laugh!

“There’s no shirt for your face.” 2020: Hold my corona

Spot on. This guy gets it nailed every time. One of the best out there.

Classic BB !!! My favorite comedian for the past 15 years. I love how he thinks.

My ad for this was “hair transplants in turkey” LMAO

"stapling ant legs to the top of people's heads" 🤣🤣

"Lookin all shiny" hahahaha!!!

This is back when I first truly took note of Bill Burr... a pimp confident genius truth 100 comic BEAST!!! To this day an absolute fav talent

Bill Burr = BEST comedian out there!

when he said 28 year old lizard i lost it lol. im 28 & have pet lizards.

@hunterpeterson6122

6 жыл бұрын

Cortney Erinn why in the world would you have pet lizards.... jesus christ

@scottgolden2766

6 жыл бұрын

Cortney Erinn Tongue like a lizard ?

@MADDMOODY516

6 жыл бұрын

Cortney Erinn ur cute

@thehammurabichode7994

6 жыл бұрын

Cortney Erinn when he said "dont be a god damned hero" I laughed because Im not a god damned hero

@ElTurbinado

6 жыл бұрын

i laughed cause I have 2 legs and a stop sign has 8 sides and one time I saw a lizard.

Renee Zellweger, you hear what this guy is saying?

@SrChalice

9 жыл бұрын

Lord Jesus, now she looks like she gave birth to herself. The first person to get plastic surgery and look older. She looks she's 52.

@redrum41987

9 жыл бұрын

Now Uma Thurman

@SrChalice

9 жыл бұрын

redrum41987 oh god please say it aint so, not Uma, I'm searching as we speak...

@jaimemartin5722

8 жыл бұрын

I searched for this specifically because of that. Hilarious

@all4zion

6 жыл бұрын

Watch predestination. Nuff said.

Ahh burr is the best. Those facial expressions 😂😂😁

Bill is this generation's Carlin. Can you imagine if George was still with us and Bill and him toured together? I'd pay an obscene amount of money to see that.

Bill just rants,and it's hilarious 😂

THIS MAN IS SO HONEST & TRUTHFUL , america needs more of them !!

I come back to this every once in a while gotta love bill

One of the best clips....

I’m here after watching FRIENDS reunion. 20 yo lizard, that’s lingering on my mind.

I had to chuckle recently when I was at the gym and there was this older woman that had clearly had a face lift. Reminded me of this clip. And for the record, she looked hideous. There are other older woman in that gym who kept the natural look and they look WAAAAY better.

@888alp

4 жыл бұрын

Diomedes01 They just want the attention.

@willyates8071

4 жыл бұрын

Angela Pandolfo Nah they’re just insecure about growing old

@TheMadGod

4 жыл бұрын

@@willyates8071 wierdly, they just ruined themselves. Most of the times, the natural look is the best. Minor face surgery is ok but face lifting and plastic surgery is really overrated imo.

Wow! I finally found part of a Burr set I hadn't seen before! Thank you!

Your always on the mark! Your number Uno in my my world!!

Billy: theres no shirt for your face 2020: hold my corona beer

Hearing the options of either looking my age or like a 28-year-old lizard always makes me lmmfao every time. It never gets old. Is it because he hit it on the nail? I could never put my finger on it, but people looked weird after going under the knife & all I knew that something wasn't quite right. I would get creeped out by the Lizards. Mr. Burr pointed out what I couldn't & didn't see. Now I'm thinking of the skull Lizards from Kong: Skull Island.

I watched this video the 1.000th time or so, still legendary.

One of the funniest quotes ever. "Don't be a hero." LOL "You look fucking weird."

burt Reynolds made himself look like something from outer space

Still makes me laugh out loud! What a gift !

He is simply amazing....a big fan

This guy is so on point, he got that psychological distress that makes him far enough from consequences but close enough to the reality that makes it just on point damn it he's so cool

I was eating a salad during this, laughed, sucked spinach into my nasal cavity, threw up in my mouth, and kept laughing. 10/10 would do it again

love this guy, seriously.

I immediately thought of this when I saw Kim Novak at the Oscars

Jesus CHRIST, what the fuck happened!? We followed every step- did we miss something??

I nominate Bill Burr for title of best comic alive in 2018!

this is gold in 2021 too. tks bill!

This was RIGHT ON!! ROFL!!!

I actually cried this was so funny lmao i love this guy

I am in love. Splendid.

Bill js so right but also so hilarious. I love his honesty.

Nice end. 28 years old lizard!!!

@310smoker

5 жыл бұрын

Ee .e end of this clip lol

So true! Plastic surgeries not for medical emergency purposes are gross!

Bill Burr Rocks!!! Always guaranteed ROFLMAO entertainment!

Mate, Bill Burr you are the ducks guts, I love your work,

What’s really messed up is when people get implants in their butt or calves. Most of the bugs have been worked out with boobs but calves and butts seem to have trouble with a southern migration (if you know what I mean.)

"There's no shirt for your face." -Bill Burr-

50's? That's still very young....Maybe 80 is old. I know so many people still amazing in their 70's.

this bit was funnier than i remembered!

This is so spot on!!!!

🙏Bill Burr🙏

Sad thing is there was probably someone in the audience who has plastic surgery

@mistyhess3546

4 жыл бұрын

That's the funny part 🤣

Just awesome

This guy had me on my back laffing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"There"s no shirt for your face..." Little did he know how wrong he was.

@royhuang9715

2 жыл бұрын

Don’t act like mask didn’t exist in 2014

@justc1re617

2 жыл бұрын

@@royhuang9715 yea cuz everybody was wearing masks in 2014

@royhuang9715

2 жыл бұрын

@@justc1re617 yeah medical worker wear masks, a lot industry requires masks. Also many people from Asia wear masks due to air pollution, a lot Japanese wear masks due to allergy. American Neoliberals like you tends to think you represent the world. The fact is you don’t and you are a minority.