Yes we actually transferred the edit onto a VHS and back for the effect

@retro_wizard

9 ай бұрын

I fucking knew it!!

@femboichik

9 ай бұрын

And sound too?

@alanthefisher

9 ай бұрын

@@femboichik yup, that's why there's some popping noises near the end

@ambroiseimbert

9 ай бұрын

This is really not funny at all. Why wouldn't you also make a video on the big German f*ckery that Siemens had in Belgium, in their own country, and how the Venture cars were two years late. Or you could talk about Bombardier messing up the Elizabeth line, CAF sending Sydney's L1 light rail line into chaos, and the list goes on. Why does Alstom systematically have to be targeted nowadays. Believe it or not, Siemens has probably caused just as much harm as Alstom to many countries our there. Bring us facts rather than ranting endlessly about one manufacturer in particular. Plus, the fault isn't Alstom's, it's their management team. Some of the finest rail engineers out there are French. If the French were really that bad, then how come German trains are less reliable, and let's not even talk about American trains.

@SqurtieMan

9 ай бұрын

That's dedication, love it

Setting playback speed to 1.25x speed makes it nearly perfectly align with the original video's speed

@yungrichnbroke5199

9 ай бұрын

? It’s not slowed down.

@ohiovalleyrailfan

9 ай бұрын

Exactly

@mbta1000

9 ай бұрын

1.15x speed is more accurate, personally.

@yungrichnbroke5199

9 ай бұрын

@@mbta1000 1x feels perfectly normal to me

@SkysTrains

9 ай бұрын

i like 1.5x

If you can piss straight up on the catenary and not get electrocuted you get no down payment!

We need more of this shitposting in the urbanist space, lol.

@davidjackson7281

9 ай бұрын

fu

@robk7266

9 ай бұрын

American rail club has done a few

@MilwaukeeF40C

9 ай бұрын

Pop urbanists are part of the problem. Central planning caused most transportation and land use messes in the first place.

@jamalgibson8139

9 ай бұрын

@@MilwaukeeF40C That's not really true. There are plenty of master planned cities that didn't destroy their urban cores for car infrastructure. Yes, almost every city in the world has allowed the car to dominate, but that's not the fault of Central planners, and in many ways the only way to fix the problem is through central planning today.

@MilwaukeeF40C

9 ай бұрын

Economic regulation of railroads, road subsidies, property taxes, and government backed real estate mortgage financing are all central planning. It dominates.

AHAHAHAHAHA This is basically is reverse ad for Siemens and Stadler

@centralillinoisrailpix453

9 ай бұрын

Whose trains actually work!

@IndustrialParrot2816

9 ай бұрын

​@@centralillinoisrailpix453yep quite well In fact the SC-44 and KISS are both fine products

@tonywalters7298

9 ай бұрын

@@centralillinoisrailpix453 except for the ones Amtrak purchased...

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

@@centralillinoisrailpix453 Excuse moi, but who said that trains need to actually work? That's ridiculeuse!

@centralillinoisrailpix453

9 ай бұрын

@@TohaBgood2 I find it makes for somewhat interesting video when the trains are actually present though.

Jesus this is for such a specific group of people. Rarely have I ever seen something so niche done so lovingly well

Alstom had its own issues, but now they they've bought out Bombardier, they've inherited _their_ issues too.

@scanida5070

9 ай бұрын

Here in Germany, when Bombardier was still manufacturing trains in Kassel, we had a saying: “God protect us from winds and storm and from locomotives with Kassel as their dorm.” (Gott schütze uns vor Sturm und Wind und vor Loks die aus Kassel sind.)

@NationalistsRuinAmerica

9 ай бұрын

​@@scanida5070very good mediation. 1+

@GintaPPE1000

6 ай бұрын

I will never understand people who thought that the two companies merging would solve anything. Two rocks that don't float on their own won't magically become buoyant after you glue them together.

@677dm5

6 ай бұрын

@@scanida5070Alstom made them even worse. Our locomotives are from Kassel and were great when Bombardier built them. Now that Alstom built the remaining ones, they always have issues.

@KingThrillgore

6 ай бұрын

I actually bought Alstom stock hoping Stadler or Hyundai Rotem would end their suffering and buy them. I didn't think this through!

Remember when the US forcibly took control of Alstom energy and French nuclear powerplants maintenance? That's karmic justice 😂.

@wta1518

9 ай бұрын

But the French deserve it because they're French.

@TheRandCrews

9 ай бұрын

@@wta1518😂😐

@dlrowolleh5855

9 ай бұрын

@@wta1518 And now they're forcibly buying it back from us ...

@mattmichael2441

9 ай бұрын

What? Did the US just buy a private company in France or was it a special government thing?

@archimetropolis

2 ай бұрын

Okay what is going on in France that is making everyone hate it, I don't understand

The most French NY subway car is the R-68. On the maiden revenue voyage out of Coney Island on the Brighton it over ran the first stop.

@georgobergfell

9 ай бұрын

Surprised it didn't surrender and retreat back to the workshop 😂

Alan’s voice is so perfect to do a voice over for this meme

Inb4 Well Theres Your Problem: Avelia Liberty

As an Italian, it's always a pleasure seeing French engineering ending up in a big f*ckery 😂

@Jjuris

4 ай бұрын

But it's the French who are buying your companies, and you are up to your eyeballs in debt to them 😂

@lavishravan

4 ай бұрын

One word, FIAT

Definitely did not expect a reimagining of FU Baltimore but I love it

You know what pisses me off about this is that they had problems with the first group of Acelas they bought so they went out and did the same thing again.

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

Alstom can never do anything right these days. And the fact that they bought Bombardier with their insane problems only makes things worse. God, help us, in other words.

@wta1518

5 ай бұрын

@@TohaBgood2 We need to get Pullman and Budd back from them.

@TohaBgood2

5 ай бұрын

@@wta1518 I don't know that Alstom will actually fall into its component pieces. I think the French government will bail them out again to avoid an embarrassing bankruptcy. But yeah, all the current orders are ... they're not ok, to put it mildly.

I'm just glad that this means we're more likely to see a variant of a Siemens Velaro with Brightline West and/or CAHSR. While I'd love to see a Velaro Novo, a Velaro D/ICE 3 Neo would be great as well.

@Eaglescout217

9 ай бұрын

Well Siemens has been using the Novo in their bid concepts

@grahamturner2640

9 ай бұрын

I imagine Brightline West will use the same rolling stock Brightline does in Florida, if both services are run by the same or affiliated companies. California might end up going with a Shinkansen with its top speed requirements.

@portcybertryx222

9 ай бұрын

@@grahamturner2640Brightline west is going to be electrified so it will be a different rolling stock.

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

@@portcybertryx222 Let's face it, they won't have even 10% of the Brightline West track at 150+ mph. They won't get HSR trainsets for that route. It makes zero sense. With zero actual HSR track miles on the California side (2/3 of the route) and most of the Nevada side under 125 mph, there is no reason to get anything faster than the Charger + Venture sets that they're already intimately familiar with. You just watch how they switch their marketing to Charger Es in a couple of years. This would allow them to run on non-electrified track into Union Station and actually make better use of their mostly highER speed rail highway median alignment.

@loganbrown8282

9 ай бұрын

@@TohaBgood2 electric trains are faster, more reliable, need less maintenance, accelerate faster, are much quieter, and pay for themselves in fuel saving and maintenance costs in a few years

LMFAO

When you're in Denmark and your national rail company has ordered 100 Fr*nch trains... "Hehe, I'm in danger." Edit: The trains are delayed.

@cooltwittertag

9 ай бұрын

at least no italian

@placeholdername0000

9 ай бұрын

@@cooltwittertag IC4 be like: *weird whirring noises mixed with the sound of a struggling engine at 10 km/h*

@Abel_DG

9 ай бұрын

The Dutch actually suffered the same as the danish, first ordering trains from AnsaldoBreda and then all running to Alstom. ICNG (Alstom) is doing fine in the netherlands tho.

@anonym1984

9 ай бұрын

Hey, after the decade long ordeal of just getting the IC4 trains, and then the decade long battle of weeding out all their problems, the hope is that buying off-the-shelf shit from France is going to turn out better than buying custom shit from Italy.

@ExperimentRender

9 ай бұрын

Alstom also won the contract for large sections of the signalling programme in DK, including retrofitting trains and software development. Abysmal performance so far, especially in software.

I cant stop laughing LMAOOOO

@davidjackson7281

9 ай бұрын

fu

I mean, they're truthful, which modern corporate train dealerships aren't. So they have that going for them

it's really paying off how Alstom bought Bombardier to get a hand on their expertise in making trains that don't fit the loading gauge and catch fire

@JuliasCesar

9 ай бұрын

You can literally blame the Liberal Government of Canada for that. They sold off most of the companies assets at Bombardier for billions in profits since they love corporations. Now Alstom took over everything and lo and behold look at Ottawa’s transit system mess. As a Canadian I apologize for our government selling Bombardier. We’re sorry!

@haisheauspforte1632

9 ай бұрын

It seems like the majority of Bombardier train orders here in Germany in the past were either massively delayed or the trains had issues with brakes/wheels/coupling systems or both... We have Bombardier talents in Schleswig-Holstein state and they are actually pretty new, but they get replaced by 2028 already. I was shocked when I found out, but turns out these current Bombardier trains are so new because they entered service with massive delay

@KingThrillgore

6 ай бұрын

It goes well with Alstom's inability to make trains that won't fit in their god damn train stations

This and THE MILWAUKEE ROAD version are masterpieces

@NavigatorBR

Ай бұрын

I hunted down The Milwaukee Road version, and that shit wad beyond funny.

I’m surprised how faithful this is to the original.

Should’ve gone with Siemens. 😎

@1602Productions

9 ай бұрын

They aren't without faults unfortunately.

@lohphat

9 ай бұрын

That's what SHE said!

Big Croissant!

We need something similar for SBB's latest Intercity trains

@felixtv272

9 ай бұрын

Could almost use the exact same thing just with different footage! It's even the same french fuckery company now.

@ianhomerpura8937

9 ай бұрын

SBB? The Swiss national railways??

@Skullair313

9 ай бұрын

To be fair, this crime was comitted by Bombardier

@valentin7574

9 ай бұрын

@@Skullair313 Built in Bombardier's plant in Switzerland, so mostly by French workers. It's still Big French Fuckery

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

@@Skullair313 Ummmm... Alstom now owns Bombardier 😁😁😁😁 Jokes aside, wtf is going on with Alstom/Bombardier these days? Why can't the Frenchies built trains anymore? What happened to them?

My local rail operator (UK's South Western Railway) ordered 90 Class 701 EMUs from Alsthom (Aventra series). They were meant to go into service in mid-2019. Here we are in 2023 and they are supposedly going to enter service by December (I'll believe it when I see it). So many issues. Looks like they f*cked us too.

@ce1834

9 ай бұрын

tbf they were Bombardier till 2021, who also had a lot of issues with the Crossrail trains and the signalling

@DDX9901

9 ай бұрын

​@@ce1834 Yeah, like I said, Alstom had issues on its own, but now it's got Bombardier's issues on top of that.

@IndustrialParrot2816

9 ай бұрын

I heard operators around the world have been having problems with Alstom products

@russellgxy2905

9 ай бұрын

I seem to recall some of the other Aventras entering service well over a year late as well, as well as many others still not being ready

@TheJRWH

3 ай бұрын

I mean IDK the Greater Anglia Aventras seem OK actually I've not noticed too many issues and they're my local services

I'll play devil's advocate: When Amtrak ordered LRCs from MLW (whci got bought by Bombardier before deliveries), it insisted on changing amny compinents. End result: the Amtrak version of LRCs was even more reliable because not designed/engineered for those components. When Amtrak ordered the heavy steel Acellas, it also stipulated certain components, notably for washroom automatic doors etc. They ended up being highly unreliable but it was the manufacturer that got the bad reputation. (though the faulty structural items was Bobardier's fault). But this is what happens when USA rules require every train be a custom untested model with untested "made in USA" components. And right now, with the FRA reluctantly once again allowing aluminium trains, instead of ordering a real TGV trainset (single deck) with proven TGV components, it ordered a mixture of TGV-M (Avelia horizon) locos downgraded to USA statndardsm and Pendolino coaches, not only downgraded to USA stadards but also with changed tilting tech to use GPS as predictive tilting, and both, of course need to meet "made in USA" so many untested components. Had Amtrak bought used single deck TGVs from SNCF, the conversion to US power and replacing the TVM signaling with the ACSES would have taken less time and cost way less money. It was Amtrak that asked for tilting technology AND a TGV, two items that cannot be mixed since TGvs are true high speed trains that run on tracks that are banked and don't have complex banking system that make cars heavier (axle load is very important on jacobs bogie trains). Why did Amtrak insist on tilting tech? Since it owns the corridor, how come it can't bank its own tracks properly? About the only "made in USA" trains that got multiple orders are the current heavy steel Siemens "Venture" which were imported/downgraded older Viaggios. The process is costly since the cars need to be re-engineered to meet FRA standard and "buy America" standards so Siemens isn't about to import the new Viagios that are aluminium and much lighter since that would cost too much to re-engineer and get FRA certification. So the end result is that every new train purchased in USA (and Canada) since "made in USA" was enforced are from practical point of view , totally new and untested trains so every order has a lot of teething problems because Amtrak and others are not allowed to buy trains that have proven reliability in europe. When governments are more concerned with the photo op announcements (announcing local jobs, local content etc) than actually offering the service, then expect unreliable equipment because their photo op requirements are incompatible with getting equipment that works ASAP. For all the problems with the CDPQ REM in Montréal, at least they avoided this and bought off-the shelf Indian version of the Metropolis metros (the cheaper heavy steel version) and did not specily any "made in Canada" requirements so they are fitted with the compenents the model was originally designed for.

I think I just had a fever dream.

This ad gets even funnier when you realize that the avelias have been sitting for so long that their paint’s starting to peel off

You're such a madlad for transferring this shitpost onto a VHS and back just to establish the effect. Well done sir!

I love how there’s a shot of two ALCO centuries pulling the new train sets.

Masterpiece

@davidjackson7281

9 ай бұрын

fu

On the one hand ya, but on the other the tracks of the NE corridor are also definitely worse than Alstom is used to. I imagine any foreign manufacturer would have run into problems with the unstandardized and poorly maintained mess that is the Northeast corridor.

@alanthefisher

9 ай бұрын

Alstom is literally one of the contractors that maintains the NEC, there is literally no excuse. Also the TGV-M (the same model of train) has also been having the same issues in France

@cooltwittertag

9 ай бұрын

alstom trains are cheap trains built for great rail infrastructure, when i was in an ICE on French LGV i noticed a big quality inprovement in sound isolation and vibrations in the ICE 3

@jamie514

9 ай бұрын

@@cooltwittertagGo read up on the Eschede disaster. Alstom wheels never self destructed at speed. But sure, Siemens are so much better 🤡

@Guy-Zero

9 ай бұрын

​@@jamie514The disaster has nothing to do with current trains though? Especially since the reason for the disaster wasn't even the original train itself. It was the modification done to the wheels of the restaurant car Deutsche Bundesbahn did to reduce vibrations

@jamie514

9 ай бұрын

@@Guy-Zeroanecdotes such as the one I replied to, about ride perception referencing an ICE3 design from the 90's and built over 20 years ago do not have anything to do with current trains either. You're right about the ICE1 derailment though. I'd forgotten that DB made those mods aftermarket and it seems Siemens never knew.

The mention of Philly is funny because, both ways, i was stuck at that station for an hour because they were changing the engine.

This hilarious! Did Regular Car Reviews inspire this? I get Kunkleman Chevrolet vibes.

I think this is my favorite video parodying the Big Bill hell's cars commercial, apart from the Milwaukee Road meme of said commercial.

this is what happens when public transport equipment manufacturers cannibalise themselves with mergers & acquisition. RIP Bombardier / Adtranz

@RTSRafnex2

9 ай бұрын

more like good riddance Bombardier...

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

@@RTSRafnex2 Well, yes, but now Bombardier and Alstom have combined their epic shittiness to make a giant supershitty rail manufacturer. This way neither gets dragged behind the shed and dealt with. Both get to continue their sorry existence!

“If you think you’re gonna find a bargain at big croissant you can kiss my ass!” It’s gold

THEY PARODIED BIG BILL HELL

LET'S GO SIEMENS! 👏👏, 👏👏👏

"Big Croissant" is the funniest way of describing France, and I need that to be the new way to refer to France.

I'm Deaaaaad that was perfect way to start my day! Better not bounce indeed 🤣 @ 1:00

Incredible 🥹

Buy your next trainset from K U N K L E M A N Chevrolet Alstom Siemens Bombardier Stadler!

challenge tilting is actually making it tilt more than 6 degrees and not leaking hydraulic fluid

“Don’t fuck with us or we’ll rip your brakes off” 😂

- “Don’t Fuck With Us, Or We’ll Rip Your Brakes Off!” This one was a good one. Gotta imagine if we’ll cut up the brakes.😂🔥💯

Perfect riff on a perfect video lmaooooo

@davidjackson7281

9 ай бұрын

fu

Meanwhile Hitachi is just sitting there being train chads

Yo, that impression was pretty decent!

Looks like Alstom just stooped down to Chinese CRRC levels. I’m hoping to see more Siemens products running in America.

9 ай бұрын

Wasn’t Siemens also running into issues? Heck, if Amtrak just went electric…

@wasmic5z

9 ай бұрын

Over here in Europe, Alstom seems to make excellent hardware, but their software is just utterly crap. Like, seriously. It's horrendous. It's ready 2 years after planned, and even then it takes 2 years further before it's actually working in a satisfactory manner. Here in Denmark their project of updating the signalling systems in East Denmark is constantly running behind schedule and has huge issues each time a new line is converted, while in West Denmark (where it's being done by Thales and Strukton) there are no issues at all and everything is proceeding according to plan.

@DDX9901

9 ай бұрын

Siemens may have screwed over high-speed rail in Canada, so I wouldn't be so sure. Remember, they're corporations. Their only concern is making money.

This is too beautiful, I got a tear in my eye.

Yes

High speed failure, explained in the 80s VHS cockmercial.

Ottawa has the light rail version of BFF…

“Hurry up, a**hole” GOT ME DEAD

This is a masterpiece

Sounds similar to what happened to our IC4 trains in Denmark - we got screwed by the Italians. Somehow, one of the trains ended up in Libya, as a gift to Muammar Gaddafi. That's a story I want to hear firsthand accounts from.

This could have worked for Brightline west too since they are considering buying the Avelia liberty. Update: Alston trying to block waiver so brightoine west basically has to buy from Alston Also shame this video is probably demonitized, it’s so great, although it wouldn't be great if you got it anywhere near monitzation acceptibilty.

I may have never smiled harder in my life. Perfect plan and perfecter execution.

BIG BILL HELLS

Brought in my wife. The conductor let her ride

This is the Waluigi of Big Bill Hell's ads.

I love this so much. Freaking hilarious.

I'm no rail expert, but as an NJT rider, I feel this. Although we're more about impaling our cars with steel beams.

In unrelated news, Siemens wins the trainset tender for CAHSR.

@grahamturner2640

9 ай бұрын

Has California actually decided on the rolling stock for its HSR system?

This is amazing. The sad thing is once you factor in all the areas the Acela is not allowed to go full speed it is only something like 20 minutes faster than the regular trains. Acela is popular because comfy seats, better food and less poor people. You could do all of that on a regular train for a lot less.

This is brilliant

When he said “it better not bounce or you’re a dead mfer “you should’ve used tank footage from “triumph of the will”

stealthier begetting the plain stealthy

Thoughts on MBTA commuter rail being contracted out to Keolis, which is majority owned by the SNCF?

Did anyone else find this after finding Big Bill Hell’s Cars commercial?

I want to see a version like this but Bucharest metro trains

should’ve gone with north british locomotives

Oh no a knockoff of the Milwaukee road meme

Where can I see more of these type of videos? This is great

Now we need the Boeing version!

This is an absolute masterpiece.

Alstom hate account

@MrStark-up6fi

9 ай бұрын

So true

A true masterpeice

You know you could also do this for Siemens because the SC44s and ALC42s have been having a lot of issues lately and the Venture Cars are already starting to fall apart 2 atleast the Midwest ones are

I love Big Bill Hells, I love this

Art

Unexpected Hornell reference there. 😂

that went right over my head, i;ll chalk it up as a failed sue i cide attempt

Imagine coming home from work, taking a few weed gummies and putting this on....I'm fucking crying XD

The French railways learned that infrastructure beats technology. The trains are outdated in 10 years, the laser straight track is irreplaceable. Result: build great rail beds and buy cheap trains. Not their fault the rest of us just get the cheap trains.

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

Yeah... then why is Alsom having issues all over the place and even with non-train contracts? I'm sorry, but this opinion, no matter how much Alstom fanboys want it to be true, just doesn't jive with reality.

Made me grin.

I love this. 😂😂😂

Should have gone with their German friends at Siemens

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

They did for literally everything else. But just couldn't resist with the tilting trains. The Siemens alternative was just not there yet. Alstom swore that theirs was so here we are...

The lore is expanding...

Its a french train, the TGV M

Tbh, I'm surprised other people knew Hornell existed.

That was intense

Our metro system uses Alstom roling stock.

WE SOULD BUY ... A chinese Trains

Reminds me of ads inside the gta universe

Ah, this is not the only Alstom train that is a DISASTER _Cough cough_ Class 701 _cough cough_ EDIT (11/10/2023): So it seems the UK are getting their own Avelia sets now as National Express (Mobico) wants to rival Eurostar.

@TohaBgood2

9 ай бұрын

May the great Lord have mercy on your mortal souls! Let's hope that they don't set your whole country on fire.

@AliGroves450

9 ай бұрын

@@TohaBgood2 Yeah. Alstom also has to develop a variant that can be level with platforms in the UK... So... I'm scared...

@Dexter037S4

9 ай бұрын

Could be worse, could be the Citadis Spirit, which basically killed the entire Transit System of the City of Ottawa. There's murmurs of FirstGroup Privatisation from our Mayor who does nothing but Podcast.

@AliGroves450

9 ай бұрын

@@Dexter037S4 I see.

You gotta get Brian in an episode

Isn't that an Italian style high speed train? Frecciarossa