Aztec culture has spawned Ogre, Kotahl Kahn, Necalli, The Pillar Men. They're basically responsible for half of Woolie's erections.

@ColdNorth0628

7 жыл бұрын

N00BSYBORG and his hair.

@314epsilon

7 жыл бұрын

the other half is short green hair and triple triad

@MajoraZ

7 жыл бұрын

Ogre is Maya, not Aztec! Don't make the same mistake Pat and Woolie did in the video!

@EverydayYounglife

7 жыл бұрын

Jabberwockxeno They intermingled (and Aztec borrowed some gods) alot so it should be fine.

@MajoraZ

7 жыл бұрын

+Speak Evil that's like saying because Korean and Chinese culture intermingled it's totally cool to call a chinese thing korean. Also, it's less that the Aztecs borrowed Maya gods so much as Aztec and Maya mythology having a shared root culture.

I'm just sitting here, having never played or heard of this game, screaming "you're wrong Pat" and "use your resources Pat" and "use your agents Pat"

@mohawklogan

7 жыл бұрын

David Kociu it was honestly kind of frustrating. Like I get they gotta make jokes and be funny and all that and sure that takes some brain power but for fucks sake Pat just slow down for a second and notice the big prompt that pops up every single time you try to use the assassin.

@Pavi132

7 жыл бұрын

David Kociu I honestly think they're doing it on purpose now

@RyanJacksonReverendRyu

6 жыл бұрын

and Pat's response when Woolie calls him out on it "Shut the fuck up, everyone" - that's just churlish. Pat knows he's being incredibly frustrating, and has had it pointed out, and how bad he's fucking up, but arrogantly continues. Don't get me wrong, sometimes he's able to ride that line between annoying and entertaining pretty well, but this was a misstep. If he'd have paid the slightest bit of attention, he'd have been able to capitalise on the game's mechanics, enjoy it more, and make a more enjoyable video for everyone overall, including themselves.

Billy's color blind? that explains his friendship with Woolie...

@KaneZenon

7 жыл бұрын

Truly Horrendous Since Billy doesn't see colour, he's a refreshing change to White Power Pat.

@SoushinSen

7 жыл бұрын

The Rush Hour friendship, yo!

@iller3

7 жыл бұрын

good, good.....now we just need a hentai game that only uses 2 very specific color shades and the Editing "Mishap" prophecy can be fulfilled

@adamisfruit9517

7 жыл бұрын

holy shit! I never expected Billy himself to respond! Thank you for gracing my comment with your channel stabilizing presence!

@Samm815

7 жыл бұрын

There's many kinds of color blind...

Game: +2 Population Woolie: You got nothing!

@mcsurge9260

7 жыл бұрын

Woolie can't read, remember?

Aztec and Mayan are two different things woolie.

@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift

7 жыл бұрын

Fun fact Aztecs sacrificed only enemy soldiers And Mayans only sacrificed enemy rulers and military leaders ( after the mayapan kingdom fell, the region became war torn and city states ruled all over the yucatan )

@PlasmaSpark

7 жыл бұрын

Weeaboo Jones And that's why Aztecs always went to war

@JeedyJay

7 жыл бұрын

They covered largely the same area, but at different times. The Aztecs were a sequel civilization to the Mayans in many ways. Now, if Woolie had lumped the Incans in there (as some works do), then we'd have an insurmountable problem.

@Fjarhultian

7 жыл бұрын

There was some overlap. The mayan culture is a bit looser than a particular empire you can point at. The Itza-kingdom was more or less mayan, and lasted into the 17th century, long after the big collapse.

@qualljq

7 жыл бұрын

1 2 I think Woolz meant Pre Columbian Meso American Civilitations but didn't know the right terminology or he did and just shortened it to Mayan as a more generalized idea like when people talk about the Roman city of Istanbul

Quit talking about Mayans, Inca, and Aztecs like they're the same thing, damn it! That's like saying Cortez conquered Mexico with his viking longboats full of Roman Legionaries.

@tbonevideos23

7 жыл бұрын

D-Glad ... while using muskets

@TheEel228

5 жыл бұрын

and his team of Samurai o.o

IT SNAPS TO DISSENTING CITIES. GODDAMNIT PAT. IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE SCREEN EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME.

LARPers can't hurt you, Pat. With their swords or their hobby.

@iller3

7 жыл бұрын

depends if they have a Sword that does +6 against dwarfs

@manticorephoenix

7 жыл бұрын

ilr dwarves? How dare you, dwarves are so much sturdier than Pat can become, he's a Halfling at best

@enoncenotev2829

7 жыл бұрын

If Pat was a halfling, both his 1st and 2nd breakfasts would be energy drinks.

@Celestialbeing21

7 жыл бұрын

ENONCE NOTEV best comment point for reference. Halflings are greedy Mo Fo's.

Two Men Who Can't Read Try To Build An Empire

As punishment for the phone fiasco I demand a video of Pat trying to explain his job to his parents.

@JeedyJay

7 жыл бұрын

Oh, they know. Pat said his parents even saw some episodes, back when Matt was really fond of his "Pat's mom" jokes.

@neauxgassi2407

7 жыл бұрын

Curses. Fuckboivin wins again

"England doesn't even exist yet." Oxford University is older than the damn Aztec Empire lol

something something Stone Masks and Pillar Men reference

@LittleMountain90

7 жыл бұрын

something something Awaken my masters

@N00BSYBORG

7 жыл бұрын

Rohan Kishibe and 『Heaven's Door』 We get it Aztec. You like Jojo.

@Dabednego

7 жыл бұрын

Something something I'll add to the length

@Mordalon

7 жыл бұрын

Ay Ay Aaaayyy!

@darrianweathington1923

7 жыл бұрын

Rohan Kishibe and 『Heaven's Door』 something something British Aztec vampire, something something cars stopped thinking

Look at that big Mayan calendar in this game about Aztecs.

Really pushing the Aztec Aesthetic, huh Woolie?

@KaneZenon

7 жыл бұрын

DarkKnightGrave Someone's gotta rep for Kotal Khan. Blood god needs that juicy juicy blood.

@RRM25100

7 жыл бұрын

woolie is ashamed that he isn't a mexican

@bioniclebuu

7 жыл бұрын

DarkKnightGrave guess you could call it AZTHETIC

@ShelCorporation

7 жыл бұрын

DarkKnightGrave Gotta push it for Summerslam

The Aztec swords are called Macuahuitls, and they're all supposed to be big, two-handed, at least 4 foot long swords. But most artists that draw what the Aztec empire "would've" looked like, draw the macuahuitl to be more comparable to a Longsword or an Arming Sword. The reason the Aztec could use a 2-Hander sword AND a shield is because their shields were like bucklers and attached to the wrist and forearm.

@Sora744

7 жыл бұрын

Glaerdrune they did both but yes a common tactic was to use it as a bat to capture sacrifices. The sword could chop off a horse's head.

@Glaerdrune

7 жыл бұрын

I read somewhere that the obsidian inlays were sharp as fuck and would snap off when slicing into an enemy, spilling as much blood as possible while causing nonfatal (in the short-term) damage.

@h3adcrabbio

7 жыл бұрын

That anecdote about horse-decapitation is supposedly dubious. It was certainly sharp.

@Sora744

7 жыл бұрын

Parrotus the "dubious" anecdote is that the Macuahuitl could chop a horse's head off in one strike, but the tested it on deadliest warrior and it took, in fact 3 strikes to completely cut through a ballistic gel version of a horse's head.

I feel like pat would take less damage if he didn't stop to drain blood with people up on his face

Knowing there's a guard break and seeing Pat ignore it hurts my head

i want to wear pats skin like one of my ancestors would have

@iller3

7 жыл бұрын

they wore Potatoes?

@mrmcshiznit

7 жыл бұрын

potato skins yes

@MagikarpBeast

7 жыл бұрын

His skin would be enough to craft a pair of slippers for an average sized person

@mrmcshiznit

7 жыл бұрын

id probably only be able to make a pair of sandals for myself

*Very Obvious SlowMo* Pat&Woolie: We have no idea what this god does.

When the fucking game is flashing the icon to use inventory Finally uses it, clicks item, hovers over cities to use, game flashes ACTIVATE pop up multiple times, "guess I can't use it!" DarksydPat over here

"England isn't even a thing yet." Aztec empire was only the 13th to the 16th century? The byzantines had flamethrowers before it was even founded. Oxford university was founded before the Aztec empire was.

@MajoraZ

5 жыл бұрын

Aztec empire was actually only 15th to 16th century: The ruling cities of Tenochtitlan, Texcoco, Tlacopan and a variety of other core ciities all existed in the 13th century, but the war that resulted in the formation of the Empire happened in the late 1420's. That being said, the region had cities and state-level governments for over 2500 years by then, writing and books 2000 years by then, plumbing, toilets, running watr and cities that matched some of the contemporary Roman cities in size, such as El Mirador and Teotihuacan 1000 years before then so the Aztec empire forming that late isn't any sort of indication of lack of complexity; the Aztec state just happens to be one of the later ones in it's region's history.

"Awaken, my Masters!" and other Pillar Men references are incoming. Please start the hype.

"I dont have any dissenting cities right now.." THIS WILL HAUNT ME TILL THE FUCKING GRAVE

I think that one of the reasons that the Aztecs went straight to metal-working is because back then in the Americas there was so much gold everywhere that they just had to do something with it

Appreciation of Aztec culture transcends all racial barriers. They were some legit cool motherfuckers. Scary too.

*"You thought it was Woolie who couldn't read, BUT IT WAS I, PAT!"* *[Awaken_My_Boivins.mp3]*

i like how Pat and Woolie go blind when it comes to reading and seeing indicators. FURTHER enforcing the theory that Woolie cant read and is continuing to try to pass as he can.

Pat's complete inability to settle down and weigh his options is hilarious.

Went in expecting Aztec Viewtiful Joe, ended up with a surprise continuation of the XCOM 2 playthrough. I'm not complaining.

Kotal Kon? Stone Masks? The Pillar Men? Dio?? If ya ain't got them, it's no good

@ghostfear2011

7 жыл бұрын

AfroMetalMizu How could you forget the Pillar Men?

@RRM25100

7 жыл бұрын

DIOS MIO

@ghostfear2011

7 жыл бұрын

RRM25100 "MY OILED ABS QUIVER AT YOUR VOICE!!!"

@AfroMetalMizu

7 жыл бұрын

***** *And the Pillar Men. FIXED

@Raven_Frame

7 жыл бұрын

AfroMetalMizu I see you comment all the time and I have no idea what your image is even supposed to be.

"duuuur I can't use the assasin!" Jesus fucking christ Pat.

Fit, Aztec violence? You know what that means. *AYAYAAAAAAA*

So is Woolie race confused? He's black but mostly white and now also mexican?

@RRM25100

7 жыл бұрын

Didn't woolie not like Mexicans in la noire?

@jerrymcghoulberry355

7 жыл бұрын

Woolie has no race. It is just "Woolie".

@DevilhunterGaara1

7 жыл бұрын

Releasethehounds not all of Mexico

@patpandoe6427

7 жыл бұрын

It's Da melanin

@GodzillaRex100

7 жыл бұрын

BarefootDruid only the best parts

In order for more L.A Noire videos, the Aztecs demanded a blood sacrifice!

"Everybody get your genitals out!" Way ahead of you, Woolie.

I feel like Pat genuinely believes he's super intelligent. He frames it like it's a joke but I think he genuinely believes he has this immense towering intellect.

@thenemesisbean6796

7 жыл бұрын

Well, I don't think he's stupid.

@mr.moustachio9213

7 жыл бұрын

but what if I need it later tho

Aztecs believed hummingbirds were the souls of fallen warriors, which is why dead enemies turn into birds and fly away.

Watching this makes me really believe Pat and DSP are in fact the same person.

How did they not notice tha the other god slowed everyone down to like a third speed..

Ahem.. *A ziggurat is a massive structure built in ancient Mesopotamia and the western Iranian plateau.* Mesoamerican pyramids are just called "step pyramids" but ziggurats have built-in steps to get to the top. Bonus points for knowing what a ziggurat sort of was, though.

@slingerscrim1583

7 жыл бұрын

Talyn has time was that for them, us, or you?

Amazing how this indie game has a campaign that's just Galactic Conquest and we still have to pray it'll find its way into the new Battlefront.

Pat is the reason all modern games are required to have waypoint markers

Pat: Let's see if I can find a target for the Assassin! Game: USE ASSASSIN HERE (A) Pat: Nope! [snicker] I... what?

Fun fact: that Kotal Kahn sword is called a macahuitl. It's a wooden club lined with razor-sharp obsidian (volcanic glass) shards. It was the traditional weapon of one of the two elite classes of Aztec warriors, the Jaguars.

I found myself saying, quit fucking around pat, multiple times this episode lol

I fucking love the Aztecs

shit this looks fun

This looks way more interesting than I initially thought, the civ aspect is really interesting

God damn i love this channel for many reasons but one of my favorite is they bring good looking indie games into the spotlight. Like Dead Cells for example

"SEE I DIDN'T NEED TO READ NOTHIN'" - Pat's tombstone.

I guess you can say that this game really.... *gets the blood flowing*

@ColdNorth0628

7 жыл бұрын

pow20o9 *BLUUD*

Maybe it was Pat who can't read all along.

Yo Pat, not sure if you know but the Fortune God Attack SLOWS EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOU

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT PAT USE YOUR ITEMS AND AZTEZZES!!!" *rage baby noises*

Aztez is an awesome and fun game! I love the gameplay and artstyle!

They say they need to read and then refuse to read how to use the assassin.

You guys pronouncing Aztec names is the best!

Dios mio

@darrianweathington1923

7 жыл бұрын

Richter The D ahhhhhhhhh 😃

I legitimately don't understand how they're getting so confused about literally everything in this game.

As a mexican i appreciate

On the back of Pat's trading card it shows he has 5 Ranks of Speed Reading with an Asterisk. *Reading is for Chumps

Just to save everybody's time pat basically tries to shove a cube through a circular hole screaming why it no fit and woolie is yet again confused about his race

I wanted True Crimes.

@d4c935

7 жыл бұрын

「Act Ichi Ni San」 Only if it's LA so they can have a shootout with a dragon.

@darrianweathington1923

7 жыл бұрын

「Act Ichi Ni San」 the Aztecs are as true a crime as it gets...and it was the kings that where doing it!

@EverydayYounglife

7 жыл бұрын

Darrian Weathington Well the priests told everyone that they needed to sacrifice thousands to save the world.

21:40 The beatings will continue until morale improves!

yo the guys that did this game are super into character action and the action game community glad to see their shit is coming together, i know they've been putting work in for a long time

Pat: "I'm so smart"Viewers: *Blink eyes* Excuse me?

Assassin - Turns an ALREADY DESENTING city into a neutral city "Wuh? How do I, uhh it's so... Uh it's so hard!!" Not a city about to turn desenting, an already desenting city pat. Doesn't matter now dude but please

OH MY GOD EVERYTIME HE TRIES TO USE THE ASSASSIN IT SAYS PRESS A TO USE ABLITY AND PATS LIKE "NOPE, NO PLACE TO DO IT"

Finally the game of my people!

ahh a video that reminds me of the good old days, where i'm screaming at my computer of how stupid they are being. I missed those days.

Pat and his phone ringing during recording IS THE BEST!

This time on The Best Friends Can't Read; The Gang Doesn't Know How Assassins Work

god i remember seeing this as a demo at EVO 2012 nice that its finally out

doesnt the joke "blood for the Blood God!" fit this perfectly?

This isn't Lulu's chestbeef- I mean FFX-2. You guys are gonna have to play that game eventually.

When you're fighting somebody who discovered Optics AND Gunpowder, make sure you garrison your cities and build walls. Your culture output won't help you against a civ on another continent.

I'd be up for another run of this. Mayyybe with someone else on the controls. Also still wanting more XCOM 2. That snowball of failure of an Ironman run was hilarious.

GOOD GAME, CONFIRMED DOPE.

My Ancestors approve this game

Hory shiet, this finally out? I remember their lead doing a panel on character action and geeking out over Bayonetta's guns a couple years ago.

Woolie finally coming out of the closet with his God Impregnation fetish

Looks like one of those flash games I used to play back in school

Pat why did we watch you play the tutorial that explained the shield break if you weren't going to use it?

Oh sick the biohazard mission has you murder all the sick people "Hey was that s sniffle!" *takes out sword*

CHA-pool-teh-peck (Chapultepec)

Do combo. Then suck up _BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD_ And power up your *GOUGI* with it.

In acient times, we the aztecs mexicas spill the blood of our enemies, riped their hearts in festivals, crushed theirs skulls with our stands, sacrificed our virgins and impregnated gods ; then Cortes appeared and kicked our asses. And now we eat tacos and drink Corona beer while watching shitty soccer in TV.

I hope everyone can tell that the crowd cheering has also been used in Tony Hawk Underground when you're in the contests and do sick tricks.

TBFP King's Field for PS1... you KNOW you want to!

Fun fact about Aztec Mythology. If you were a warrior and died in battle you became a Hummingbird. Smol Hummingbird: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Is Pat's refusal to read and or look at controls akin to Matt's look in every direction except the intended one?

"And this ends our full LP of Aztec Enemy Unknown!"

You guys finally changed your name to Super Best Friends Play. Congrats

It's a 2D character action turn-based empire building game? All this time I was dissatisfied with Civ 6 but now I finally understand why.

This episode Pat fills his blood vial to build his perfect society, I... I think.

The way Pat plays this game is frustrating to watch.

Woolie only wants Pat to read because Woolie can't read on his own help a guy out Pat

watching this while impregnating gods

Fight for your Space Deity by offering blood to the stars!

I don't think that could've ended better.