Everyone say it with me I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE AND THAT'S OKAY.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

onehellofa youngling I love you all! (As a friends of course 🤣❤️)

@lecherouslibrarian9924

4 жыл бұрын

#noromo

For me, the worst thing about someone expressing their romantic feelings towards me is this unspoken pressure to say it back and, especially if you are still confused about who you are and don't know about possibility of aromanticism, it can lead to lying to yourself, to the other person, really awkward and unpleasant situation where they are like "you don't love me anymore??!" and you just sit there and wish you've never gone out of your room, never met this person or even not be born

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Oof. I definitely know that pain. That awkwardness and somewhat shame or embarrassment for hurting someone even if unintentionally. I think I’m going to do another video on this soon cuz I remember how significant those moments were for me when I was in a relationship and trying to explain to a partner what I was dealing with without really knowing myself. And despite how confusing and painful it was for me I always swallowed my own pain and suffering to prioritize them and their feelings since I was more or less the cause of their suffering. It definitely made me feel low. But knowing myself better has made it much easier to avoiding those situations and just have better connections with people. Hopefully you can do the same!

@Iivhanna

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire I hope so to, actually I'm on my way of coming from probably the lowest point of my life and your spreading awareness and information really helps a lot

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Liv Hanna sorry to hear about the low point but sounds like your on your way out of it which is good! Glad I could help if even just a bit! ❤️

@Iivhanna

4 жыл бұрын

@Cacti watermelon that's why, since I figured myself out, I'm trying to be upfront and open about who I am from the beginning. Can't guarantee people will understand or won't try to pressure you to "change your mind" but it makes things clear and gives you idea if you even want to be associated with this person (based on their reaction)

@SirThinks2Much

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly my experience!

I literally just found that being aromantic IS actually a thing. I spent all my life thinking I was "broken" or "I didn't find the one person", but inside I knew that I wouldn't ever fall in love. That's so greatfull to find I'm not the only one and that I'm normal.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Matheus Nunes welcome my friend! Thanks so much for watching and I’m glad it helped! Consider subscribing if you’re interested in seeing more videos I have coming soon on the topic!

@ajmalaika1287

3 жыл бұрын

HORRAAAYYYY I'm so happy for you hope you feel better about yourself from now on

Thank you so much I thought I was just a bad person

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Iris McLaughlin omg you’re not! Or maybe you are I dunno you but not falling in love isn’t the deciding factor! Haha I just made a new video called “we are not broken” check it out! ❤️

@vreyes2122

2 жыл бұрын

Same

As a person who enjoys holding hands, cuddling, and hugging my friends and good buddy pals- while not falling for them, in my head it's always like "neet, i'm comfy and warm now i can read my manga in peace" while the other person can be like "omg we are so might for each other". I don't wanna lose friends but like i don't wanna lie then just end up breaking your heart.

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

I hear you. It can be a hard line to walk sometimes. Thats why I’m just always upfront and honest always. Just let people know what I have to offer and talk about what it is we want if its anything more than friends. Thanks so much for watching and sharing! Preciate you! Def subscribe if you care to see more content like this!

I’m not aromantic but when casually dating I’d just do nice things for people because I like to be nice and make people feel good then I’d get accused of being manipulative or being fake 0_0 like oops I didn’t know doing these things for/with you would be construed as romantic

My friend a while ago told me that he had a crush on me, and I think it made me feel a bit sick. Repulsed even. Maybe he was giving off hints before he confessed and I didn’t realise. I told him that I’m aromantic and after that he’s been pretty cool with it. We’re still best friends to this day. Sometimes I wonder how I would feel about him if I wasn’t aromantic.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Nasexsav Kifs ya I’m not gonna lie, being aromantic definitely can make you wonder how different life would be if you i weren’t but that’s kinda true with most things In life. But you are and you still have a great friend so all sounds good! Thanks for sharing! ❤️

Aromantic pride ! Never thought I'd be apart of the LBGT community because I'm not gay but much respect to my gay people ! We are all together against the hate and clueless!!!

@ajmalaika1287

3 жыл бұрын

Same I think I identify as Asexual and i still feel a little awkward thing of myself as a member of the LGBTQ community

@nadeezn

3 жыл бұрын

@@ajmalaika1287 dont be! its called the lgbtqiA+ community for a reason :)

@user-bc3ym9pe4v

3 жыл бұрын

I'm hetero aro i don't consider myself in the LGBTQ+ community it's just weird for me but it's good for you

@atinyblackrose8938

3 жыл бұрын

Not everyone in lgbtq+ is queer u could be a hetero aromantic/asexual/trans ect :) but yoh are more than welcome in the community

@aminaabuhatab8049

Жыл бұрын

@@atinyblackrose8938 queer means not hetero+cis gender, aces and aros that want to identify as queer can because they don't fit the social norm

I'm so glad that I found your channel! I'm 28 years old and I recently discovered that this is what is happening in my life. I had long term relationships before because I felt that "it's the right way" of connecting with other people, if you're sexually atracted to them. I felt like a robot, or like an actress when I had to reciprocate certain feelings, and the remorse that I felt was horrible when I find myself saying things that I never felt. Thank you for your videos, you really help me to understand better some things. And I have a question: What you think about "toxic romanticism"?

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Helena Puig hey there! So glad you found my videos and they were helpful. I 100% know the feeling of faking things because you think your supposed to and the remorse of doing so. Knowing about aromanticism and this about myself has made it so much easier to navigate life from just acceptance of my own actions to having a vocabulary to express my actual feelings they I can share with ex or potential new partners and let them know what’s going on with me! Thanks so much for watching and commenting! Good luck moving forward! Oh and toxic romanticism is definitely a think. As I’ve stated, we’re inundated with the “idea” of romance all day every day and the idea that these relationships are the end all/be all of the human condition definitely is unhealthy especially when it’s so “one size fits all”. We definitely need to open the discussion about aromanticism and show more value in friend and family love. ❤️

@BlinJe

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah. I feel the robot thing. Had the same experience and it scared me, i felt like a might be a psychopath I'm not sure the aro label fits me so i'm digging for answers rn.

I’m a very romantic person but I am also in the spectrum where I love a platonic true deep friendship with sexual freedoms. I have always been able to fall into both categories and don’t understand why people have to make it one or the other. I praise you for being yourself. Even though you aren’t romantic you respect people and carry a responsibility with you to be honest about it and that’s awesome.

Thank you so much for this, and for your last video. I'm a 35yo aromantic (but (hetero)sexual!) woman, and these videos make me laugh because it's like you're just going through my entire life. It's so nice to see someone put everything I think and feel into words. I haven't had a sexual partner in years, because it was way too draining to deal with the romantic stuff. As you mentioned, guys say they're cool with just being casual, but it turns out that they're not as cool with it as they say. It'd be fun to find a friends-with-benefits someday, but I'm entirely content just being on my own. Lust is a much easier feeling to deal with than, I imagine, loneliness. I have romantic friends who are just constantly sad and lonely and I... cannot understand that feeling at all. Like you said, I feel like I got the better deal. I'm pretty happy with my life! ;) Anyway, thanks again for this!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

snowqueenofhoth man I remember the first time I met another aromantic person and they told me their experience. I was just genuinely shocked to hear another human telling their story and it sounding just like mine because that he never happened before haha. I’m so glad people are finding these and feeling a similar connection. And I agree, I imagine lust is easier to deal with than loneliness (in as much as we feel that). I will say there are ample people out there that are actually ok with a friends with bens situation, other aromantic are great! As I said in one of these videos, the people we’re able to rate are out there it can just be a bit harder to find them so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and see who you can find cuz you deserve to get some too you know what I mean 😏 haha Anyways, thanks so much for watching and sharing! I’ve got a bunch of ideas for new videos coming soon so consider subscribing if you care to catch the future videos! Have a good day! ❤️

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Also awesome username 👌🏽 haha

@snowqueenofhoth

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Definitely subscribing. Your videos are such a breath of fresh air. I don't know if I have enough energy to put effort into finding a friend, but who knows. Maybe in another year or two I'll feel different again! Another aro would be great.

@snowqueenofhoth

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Thanks! ;D

@tristanhunt4786

3 жыл бұрын

thank you so much for this comment! it feels good to know there are other women out there with similar experiences!

I think people who don't leave a relationship that is mostly cons no pros and say the reason is because 'I love them' are just experiencing attachment/soul ties and low self esteem/worth. Or even saving face, afraid of what others will say. I'm speaking from my own life to be honest. Healthy relationships are hardly shown in the media or witnessed in some people's lives so it's so easy to mistake any kind of relationship for 'love'. Especially if you grew up in dysfunction or have any trauma. It's a fallacy when people say 'Love is Blind', it's really not you know if your relationship should end. Fear is what holds some people back like: starting over again (divorce/£), being alone!, custody battle, no one to validate you, ego, being seen as a loser/failure by family and friends. So some settle for the relationship instead. The heartbreak can get intense in a break up but not necessarily due to 'love'.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Easilyshown deeefinitley agree. Its crazy to not experience romantic love because it makes it a lot easier to see how unhealthy certain relationships are and why people stay. You’re right its a lot of fear or abuse and people that experience love have a hard time seeing it or overcoming the things you mentioned. Thanks so much for watching and this comment

I'm only 4 min in and I wish I could give this a million thumbs up, thank you for sharing :) I just started learning about aromantic identity a few days ago and saw your first video. I relate to everything you are saying so much and it's really the first time I feel SEEN lol especially with having crushes but having to be careful navigating relationships and other people's expectations of how a relationship (even friendship) should progress

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Lexis 1000% navigating relationships and interactions with people can be tricky and being hyper aware of how my actions might portray or illicit a response I didn’t intend is definitely something I’ve had to keep an eye on. Thanks for watching and sharing! Glad I could help! ❤️

@bex9158

3 жыл бұрын

Literally same I only realised a few days ago but it just makes so much sense

I may not be aromantic, but this video still helped me immensely. I have many friends who are Ace share their experiences, so it’s easy to understand. Like you said Non-Aro people (and media) are obsessed with romantic attraction, so the concept of Aromanticism can be so hard to grasp. Also the Aro and Ace community blend so much, that when I have tried to find just Aromantic experiences, I come up with people who are both or only Ace. I want to work in a field connecting to the LGBTQIA+ community and you have definitely helped me expand my empathy and understanding to a part of the community I otherwise could not connect with. Please continue the fantastic job you are doing!!

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for watching and the kind words! Definitely doing my best to make some content to help folks out there so by all means use them as you please! Preciate the love! Def subscribe if you wanna see more content!

You nailed it again! You do so well in explaining everything I think but can’t express to others. People try to invalidate me being aro when I say that I still feel sexual attraction to people because they fail to realize that not everyone equates romance and sexual attraction.

Hiii I'm new to your channel and as an aromantic but still sexual (like yourself), I really appreciate the themes you talk about. Definitely subscribing💚🤍

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Ghostie Boi so glad my videos resonated with you! Thanks for watching and subscribing !

@ghostieboi9783

4 жыл бұрын

Nik Hampshire no worries :)

This video really helped me out! I’m 13 and am 99.9999999% sure that I’m aromantic but I can’t help feeling like I’m just a ‘late bloomer’ or haven’t found ‘the one’ yet because I’m so young even though my gut is telling me that there isn’t going to be someone. I have always been confused on how people love one another beyond the point of friendship and for the longest time was confused why all my friends were complaining about being single on Valentine’s Day and stuff when I didn’t see anything wrong with it. It helps me that you made this video because there aren’t many resources out there that do a good job explaining exactly what it is.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Someone glad you found the video and it helped! Honestly the label isn’t as important as just following what feels right to you. I feel like 13 is a bit young to call it so I wouldn’t swear off relationships all together. Experiment and just be aware of your feelings and what feels right and what feels wrong. Communicate openly with partners or potential partners. Just do what feels good and don’t force anything. The label should come from a reflection of past behaviors not necessarily how your expecting the future to go. I’m going to be doing a few more videos soon so subscribe if you wanna catch the new ones! Thanks for sharing your experience and the kind words! ❤️

@tiwiogunye

3 жыл бұрын

Valentine's Day makes me feel sick 💀💀

@ajmalaika1287

3 жыл бұрын

I feel like it's fine to pick a label after all it exists to make you feel more comfortable with yourself RIGHT NOW IN THE PRESENT and find a community where you feel understood. If that changes when you're older that's just a part of life, your always going to grow and meet new people who may change the way you see yourself but it never means you were lying either to yourself or others it'll always be valid even when you don't pick any labels at all

@Barjo4

3 жыл бұрын

How are you feeling now? I hope you are doing well.

As a double A battery (aroace) I'm glad you're making these videos because although both overlap for me its important to distinguish them as separate and unique identities

I relate so much to everything you say. It feels like a door has opened for me after learning the term aromantic. Thank you :)

Thank you so much for making these videos! Hearing that other people feel (or don't feel) the same way as me is SO validating! And the way you explain it is so considerate and makes so much sense. I'm starting to see my aromanticism as a strength. It's made me a very independent person. I've learned to trust myself and honestly, knowing I'm fine on my own is so empowering! Also I have friendships that are way more committed than many romantic relationships and I'm so happy to have these people around me. I'm still unlearning many of the messages that we hear from this romance-obsessed society but I'm starting to see that I can have a fulfilling life and I don't have to "die alone" even if I don't have a romantic relationship. So thank you for speaking about your own experience, it's helped me so much in accepting my own identity!

Thank you so much for making this video! I really connected with what you said about realizing that your friends were serious about their heartbreak and romantic feelings--that's exactly how I figured out I'm aromantic. It's only been a month or so, so things are still pretty weird for me. I've had to come to terms with the fact that my relationships going forward aren't going to match what I was taught they should be growing up. It's been rough. I'm so grateful for people like you who have been willing to share your experiences. It gives me hope for what my future will look like. THANK YOU!!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Kimberly Heddy hey hey! Yea accepting that relationships might not look like how you are taught or even might want can definitely be a bit difficult for sure. Check out my new video I just dropped about not being broken! Def speaks to that a bit. You can definitely still be happy and have relationships that work however you need, just might take a little more legwork to find compatible partners. Thanks so much for watching and sharing your own story! ❤️

I’m an aromantic mother and wife here. So much of what you’re describing is how I go through my relationship with my husband. I have such a practical approach to relationships. Romance isn’t even on my radar. In fact, we decided to get married after having two kids and realizing it would benefit us financially. I got really lucky that I feel as though my husband is my best friend. I don’t think he’d describe himself as aromantic, but we both have worked to grow and learn together which are necessary to make any relationship successful.

oh my gosh i love your energy! and spreading more visibility about aromanticism is so important, thank you!

as an aroace i was always wondering what it feels like to just be aro, thank you for the insight!! :D

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

Happy to help! Thanks so much for watching! 🤗

I always thought there was something wrong with me till recently I learned about this im glad im not alone . Im aromatic but not asexual ;)

That is a brilliant video, thanks! I've recently started to think of myself as aromantic instead of "I'm single and I want to stay like this". Like you say it makes it just easier to explain to others (who think they are nice when they tell me "Don't worry, you will find the right one...) Also, can I just say I'm very impressed with the overall kindness to everyone you just seem to exude! 💚

I don’t ever get crushes and have never been able to relate to those

Great Video! Thank you for taking the time and energy to put yourself out there and to make this! I love your candidness to all the questions and I feel a deep sense of sincerity and thoughtfulness in your answers. There were a lot of great questions too! I know you mentioned it was a bit of trial and error as a teen/young adult to figuring out your personal feelings and desires from relationships, but it definitely sounds like your approach to your relationships now is really open and honest and very mature which I admire and appreciate. I do have some more questions for you if you decide to answer more in a different video. If not, or perhaps you have already answered them, then just ignore! 1)when and how did you find the term Aromantic and subsequently the Aromantic community? 2)has finding/interacting with the aro community changed or helped you? 3)how do you interact with the community?Is it something that is important to you? Obviously you are doing great advocacy work on here with your videos and I thank you again! Sorry for the long comment! (I am AroAce as well as non-binary)

AMAZING examples you gave. It's so hard to understand what romantic attraction is, but you gave so many examples of your experiences of being aromantic and that helped so much! The folder analogy was especially wonderful! I will definitely have to use that when explaining my feelings to my peers.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Victoria McCrary thanks so much for watching! I’m glad you found it helpful! Yea the folder analogy came out me one day when I was thinking about how me and a partner were sharing the same experience but were each EXPERIENCING that experience differently. We were sorting the information differently in each others brains. So interesting. I appreciate you watching and the comment! Def give my page a follow if you wanna see more! I got more videos coming soon!

Hey Nik, thank you for making these videos. I've just considered that I might be aromatic, but it's kind of hard to find any information about it when you're not ace at the same time. You're really helping a lot!

So glad I came across you and Divinity! I discovered that I was aro (and sexually fluid) at 21 when I became frustrated with my inability to fall in love and enjoy dating. Dating felt like a chore for me and I didn’t understand why I became so repulsed and avoidant with guys who were into me. 2 years after discovering being aromantic I still struggle to understand myself and put it into words but finding info like this online has been very helpful and affirming!!!

I've never been in a relationship, but I've been on the cusp of a few in the past. Girls that were co-workers or already friends of mine have tried to kick off relationships with me before, and I've enjoyed hanging out with them, but it was pretty easy for me to discern that I wasn't on that romantic wavelength. I could tell that they wanted to get close, but when I thought about snuggling or kissing them I had a weird impression of hollowness, like in order to kiss I'd be... I don't know, driving a dissociated robot version of myself from a safe distance. I like the idea of relationships in an abstract way, but romantic gesture and sentiment feels completely fake to me, like I’d be wearing a mask - at a remove from myself - putting on an unrehearsed performance that I haven't even received a script for. If I only had my personal experience to go off of, I'd assume everyone was putting on an act when performing romantic gestures. Just some big weird collective decision that everyone's going to play pretend because "it just what people do" or whatever. #soundsfakebutokay Discovering that there's other people with similar experiences and hearing them give voice to that experience in better ways than I was able to was really liberating and relieving for me. Ever since discovering the aro community I've been able to feel a lot more satisfied with myself, and I've felt freer to just explore what makes me happy. Having clarity about being aromantic has also allowed me to enjoy my platonic relationships more. I do experience occasional "squishes" that may or may not involve an aesthetic component, but now I'm able to recognize that I just really find a person interesting and pleasant to be around rather than getting in my head and wondering how the hell I cross the threshold into "dating this person". Now I just get to enjoy hanging out, being myself, doing nerd shit.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Mr Eastforest yo the idea that everyone was faking it is such a funny but real concept when you dont know better. Such a wild experience when you learn “nope. It’s just me” haha. And now even more wild when you realize “oh shit! It’s not just me!” Thanks so much for watching and the feedback

@elisecode2212

4 жыл бұрын

i just had to say this made me smile so much because i've used the exact same analogy of playing a part i hadn't rehearsed. unfortunately i actually did it, for too long. i'm now about 5 years into my aro journey and i feel everything you talked about: relieved, free, happy, and perfectly myself.

@rachyljean

3 жыл бұрын

The robot thing! And the putting on an act and thinking everyone else is also just... acting too. That everyone is just... in on it! Wow. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has felt this way about kissing and dating. This comment just made my whole day!

18:47 Yes! That's exactly what I thought! It was such a mindblowing experience when I found out people actually feel romantic and sexual attraction. It still seems crazy to me

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

edelmarzipan007 haha yea it’s definitely wild when you realize your the odd one out. Your just like “ohhh.... uhh ok then...” haha fucks your whole shit up. Thanks for watching and commenting! Def peep my other videos if you haven’t yet and subscribe to see the new ones I got coming!

@marzipanmango

4 жыл бұрын

I'm demisexual (I only begin to feel sexually attracted to guys after I get to know them and begin to care for them), so basically the opposite of the guy making this video. It wasn't that long ago that I realized most people aren't like me. I'd always assumed one night stands and "friends with benefits" situations were super rare :P

Great video, Nik. I look forward to potentially hearing more from you on KZread.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Gasaan Asim thanks so much! Hopefully I’ll have more content soon! 🙌🏽

Thank you!! for making this video this describes how I feel to the letter. It is so hard to find a romantic perspective without the asexual idea behind it thank you for sharing your perspective.

thank you for this video!!! i identify as aro but still get crushes and that was the main reason i was still on the edge. you sharing ur feelings really helped!! thank you!!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

ohlewpy so glad I could help! I know what it’s like to be unsure and confused and stuff. Glad you found what I said relatable. You ain’t alone! We out here! Thanks so much for watching and commenting! 🙏🏽❤️

This is super interesting to me. I'm asexual, so I relate to a lot of what you say and it's not really new information, but it feels new. Hearing your perspective on this is super cool. Separating romantic and sexual feelings is something that's not easily explained and definitely hard to understand and relate to yourself. I also love how open and respectful you do these.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much! I know I’ve dealt with a lot of this myself without having many people to talk to about it for a long time so being able to discuss it openly and have people to connect with and have it able to help others is really cathartic and fun! Thanks for watching! Def subscribe if you care to see new videos on this topic!

@JuMixBoox

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Already have. Excited for new videos!

Hi again! I saw your first video on aromanticism when I was figuring out my own aro/ace identity. Nice to see you here again :)

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Mikk hey there! Thanks for poppin in! How’s your experience been since figuring out your identity?

@mikk5540

4 жыл бұрын

Nik Hampshire well, first off I was able to let go of the pressure of societal norms (which is something everyone should do really), I stopped dating and started focusing on myself. I do want partners (I’m also poly/RA) but I needed time to figure out how I’d want that to look like which is something I’m getting closer to now. :) I’d love to her you talk about poly if you’re up for it, maybe do an q&a?

Hi Nik, I came across this video a few months ago. It was really helpful, because I was trying to separate 'romance' from a whole jumble of other things: affection, sexual feelings, fondness, platonic feelings and more. I had just discovered demisexuality, which made complete sense for me, but that had opened up a lot of other questions. Most other videos mentioning aromanticism, tied it to asexualism, so this video is much needed. I think this has been mentioned in an earlier comment or two, or but just to clarify. I think it is possible for a demisexual to have a non romantic connection (especially if they are on the aro spectrum themselves) and therefore have a satisfying relationship with an aromantic. You are so right though that discussion and caution are necessary, and both partners need to be clear about their wants and needs and whether they can fulfil them. All relationships should be approached like this, but sometimes with allosexual/alloromantic, people strike up a relationship that is doomed, often thinking Love Will Overcome! I think we need to pay more attention to different types of love - I love my children, and I think that my love for them would overcome almost anything, but that is far removed from romantic love. We can have love for family, friends, causes, and make great sacrifices where needed. You are right that we are bombarded with ideas of romantic love in our culture. As a demisexual, I tend to notice how much allosexuality is taken for granted. Please keep posting your videos. Your self knowledge and scrutiny, and your complete honesty is enlightening and refreshing. Thank you.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Dee Ashton love everything you said and I appreciate you pointing and agreeing with the points i made. I think it really just boils down to understanding our own wants and needs as best as possible and then seeking out compatible partners whatever that may be. If people want to attempt a match that doesn’t seem to be initially compatible by all means have at it but at least by communicating these risks early both parties know what they’re getting into ya know? Thanks for watching and leaving such a great comment! ❤️

Thank you. Just honestly thank you.

Your analogies are strong af! I’m colorblind too and I think that’s a great way to look at it. And as an asexual, the lactose intolerance comparison feels so true!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Densoro haha thanks! I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this stuff and I’m always trying to think of ways of conveying this stuff to people who can’t understand! Glad you found them helpful! Thanks for watching!

This is so refreshing to hear coming from someone else. I'm aromantic and bisexual and I've had a tough time over the years building and maintaining friendships because my friends couple up. It's nice to see another person who is still sexual while being aromantic!!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Domino I definitely know how that goes. I dunno about you but I’m pretty cool being alone tho. I feel like most aro’s that I know are pretty self fulfilled. Does suck to see friends drift cuz of relationship tho. Anyways, you got a friend in me ;) thanks for watching!

@soulchump86

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Agreed. I love my friends but I value my alone time. In your first video, you mentioned seeing people make very bad decisions for the sake of being in a relationship and I've seen that alone. In fact, most relationships around me make me happy I'm single.

I've been aromantic my whole life. I always thought I was broken. You help me make sense of all of it. Thank you.

i saw your old video and i related to everything you said (especially since i'm also heterosexual)--same thing with this one! the only thing is when you said stuff that gets sorted as romantic for allos (like holding hands) just gets sorted differently for you: i still perceive it as romantic, but i don't like it or don't understand it. but then you said that you were uncomfortable with people being romantically attracted to you, so obviously you are aware of it (at least if they state/show it overtly). i find it especially jarring in sexual situations, when the person does something i consider romantic--like you said, for them it's probably all part of the same thing, but for me it's completely unrelated, and i experience that 'cringe' of romance repulsion. my favourite thing you talked about was how we've known what we want from a young age (i started identifying as aro at 17; i'm 22) and it's pretty much within reach, so we don't waste time or energy searching for some elusive concept like "the one" and being unhappy. i actually think it helps us extend that to other areas of our life, like to really ask ourselves what makes us happy or feels right for us and what doesn't. i'm thankful to be aromantic.

Im aromantic and bisexual and I have 2 partners currently. One is a fwb type thing. Friends, sex, no romance. One is a more emotionally connected relationship with sex and no romance, but I feel this relationship is different than a standard platonic relationship like the first one. I consider it a queerplatonic relationship

As an aromantic bisexual (closeted) i always feel repulsed when my family would tease me talking to a guy who shows attraction to me only for them to be disappointed and call me weird. I have no problem with girls or boys, but don’t like when people ask me out or show romantic attraction to me because it’d be an awkward moment knowing I won’t return the same feelings. Most girls in my family call me weird for not dating and enjoying my own solitude, but I can’t help who I am. I’m just not into being in relationships or dealing with romantic feelings from others, and I just want to be alone🥲

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

PREACH! ♥️ we can all be alone together! Haha thanks for watching and the comment!

"FALL IN LOVE" is not a romantic thing to me. love is love. romantic stuff is usually just.. acting. at least to me. it doesn't feel authentic and therefore not love

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Some Person sounds like your aromantic. Perhaps without romance repulsion! Definitely have related to that feeling of romance love is just acting. So crazy to learn for many (most?) it isn’t that haha

@someperson2500

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire possibly. I'm also a woman which makes it so awkward when guys try to be romantic or flirty thinking it's what women want cuz like chick flicks. I'm just... No lol. big turn-off. Guys like u tho I find way more attractive. Seem more genuine to me.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Some Person I hear that. I think we’re often more attracted to people that speak our same “language”. It rings more true to us. So that definitely makes sense. Its sad people always assume women are always looking for this romantic type connection when my comments on all these videos are mostly filled with women identifying as aro! We need better representation and for people to learn more about all this!

Thank you for making these videos.

@nikhampshire

9 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching and commenting! ♥️

Thank youuuu thank you I recently found out that I'm aro and I'm relieved to see that I'm not alone !

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

MlleSuika definitely not alone! So glad I could help

3:40 bruh, this is me. But with everyone. Like if I think you’re a cool human I get super excited to talk to you all the time then after a couple weeks (or months if we have that much to talk about) when there’s nothing more to learn I end up texting people like every couple of weeks and like reading messages and forgetting to reply. So I feel like I confuse people because sometimes I’m really into talking to people and then I just fall off the face of the earth after a while. That’s why I always forewarn people that I can be really really bad about texting back, they just won’t realize it for the first few weeks 😅

I’ve been confused far a couple months now. I’m bisexual but I have zero desire to actually be with anyone, I guess romantically. I’ve had people have feelings for me, but because of me being oblivious it blows up in my face. Naturally I don’t fancy having a lot of people around me in the first place so when things like this escalate I feel extremely uncomfortable. As you said miscommunication is unavoidable and I try to come out as clear as possible but because I’m unsure of myself I don’t really understand how to say what I mean. I know now romance is not my thing, I just felt like I was a late bloomer or something. Everyone keeps telling me I just need to find the right person and I doubt that, I just feel really pressured.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

It’s hard for people to comprehend this especially when they’ve never heard of it and one person telling them often isn’t enough to change their way of thinking. The key is to just know yourself and not let their dismissal of your feelings and what you know to be true to influence you. At the end of the day that pressure they’re applying only has any effect if you let it. They’re not forcing you to do anything so just do you and let the rest go! Also, feel free to shoot anyone the links to these videos. I find showing people that refuse to understand that what I’m saying is real can often be at least slightly more convinced when you show them materials online they confirm and validate what you’re saying. It’s one of the reasons I’m trying to do this series! Thanks for watching and sharing! I got more videos coming so subscribe if you wanna peep the new ones as they come out! 🙏🏽😁

@beautifyhorrorproductions

4 жыл бұрын

Nik Hampshire Thank you, I really appreciate your words. This aspect of my life is all new to me but I look forward to watching your videos as a guide to my own self understanding.

I appreciate these discussions. Aromanticism is spoken in terms of a permanent condition. But I think in the first 7 or so years of my love life, I did fall in love. Ever since, I think I am something on the aromantic spectrum. I am way more excited by personal growth than by other people, even if they can excite me and I remain sexual.

I'm aroace but even still I felt so seen by this video 👀 thank you for sharing your thoughts

@nikhampshire

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for watching and sharing some love! ❤️😊 happy new year!

i always kinda knew i was ace, but now i think i'm also aro, this video definitely helped me, so thanks ^^

It's funny you describe sexuality as easier to understand than romanticism, when I'm much more secure identifying as aromantic- but am I bi or ace??? I cannot tell for sure!

Me. I never have been romantically attracted to anyone in my life I thought something is wrong with me. Given, I am female and lots of expectations are placed on me. I feel attracted to people I find sexy. But that’s only it. When someone tells me a love declaration, I feel allergic. I always thought it was because I had low self esteem. (Maybe I did, but I have other friends with lower self esteem than me who are now in romantic relationships). I’ve never been in a romantic relationship though, but I couldn’t say I am ace, since I am both attracted to men and women. In a relationship, i fantasized a platonic relationship, like I really would care for my partner, but without the romantic rituals. And I could imagine myself being monogamous. The only romance I could get is when I read or watch two people fall in love. In short, I love romantic novels and movies, but if I imagined myself in the position of romance, I back out. And it could be frustrating. Its nice to hear that there are some people like me out there. Allergic to romance, but can be attracted to people in other ways. Other people may vilify aromantics because of hook up culture, but I assure you, that if an aromantic is willing to pursue a relationship with you, they would still care for your well being and not be a jerk.

Wanted to comment that, when i was finding out that i was aromantic, i had a moment with a "crush" that was an eye opener because i felt super sexually attracted to this person but when they got romantic with me i was uncomfortable, so that confused me for the longest time, because i was thinking " i wanted to be with them but now I dont? Is there something wrong with me? was i just not right about my feelings?" i totally was, in fact they werent even there, nutty buddy only ahaha 😂. I couldnt distinguish one from the other at the time but, i guess thats common, people usually have from a very young age told a wrong idea about romance and sex in general. Thanks for the videos, im binge-watching them 😅👌

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

Ohhhh man I know about that confusion all to well. And it sucks trying to figure out your own feelings while in the middle of it with a partner because they’re obviously even more confused than you are and they’re usually getting hurt in the process. It really sucks. I’m really thankful I was as romance repulsed as I was cuz it didn’t take me long to figure out something was going on and I should not get involved with anyone seriously fairly early into my dating life haha. So glad you dug the video and are binging the rest! Hope you like em all and sub cuz I got more on the way! Thanks for sharing some of your story!

Make more vids!! You’re very helpful

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

0-0-0 0-0-0 will do! Thanks so much for watching and sharing the love!

My entire life, I assumed that I was the default and everyone in my life who would write paragraphs about their SOs, take romantic photos and get married in the most romantic ways were just people who learned to turn off their cynicism and accept people for everything they are and fall to this “idea” of romantic love. I assumed I was just waiting for my turn to find that inner peace and stop being an asshole about love… I didn’t realize that my romance switch was just permanently off. Finding out about aromanticism was my inner peace. Thank you for these videos, I’m new to this revelation and I appreciate your thoughtful words and validation.

I realised at the age of 43 that I might be aromantic. In therapy, I found out that both relationships I've ever had started when I was mentally down and so were my ex-partners. And I thought helping and caring for each other was what other people called love. They were good guys and I even married my second partner (the relationship lasted about 12 years). But something always felt wrong. While I was single (20 years ago) I was totally fine with having friends with benefits.

Idk how to explain this but I feel like when dating I am in love with the situation rather than the person. I am in love with the attention, the cuddling, and feeling giddy, but I don’t love them romantically. I get really uncomfortable when people start seeing me as someone’s gf after four months of knowing them, like, ew no, I don’t know them. Public romantic affection (kisses, cuddles, pet names, etc) also makes me feel super awkward.

@nikhampshire

7 ай бұрын

I can def relate with that for sure!

Do you experience jealousy/possessiveness? Do you fear "commitment"? Do you fear/struggle being vulnerable, opening up emotionally?

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

fabnsass great question! I was actually always super curious about others feelings of jealousy and possessiveness cuz I’ve never experienced that. I’ve entered into monogamous relationships and felt I would be upset if I was cheated on (not that it happened) but it would be more for a breach of trust than any sort of jealous or possessiveness. So no, I don’t! I don’t fear commitment. I have life’s long friends, have held jobs for long time. Most of my relationships I’ve been in i was the one pursuing the commitment. But the romantic connection ultimately isn’t what I want or can even experience. I’m actually repulsed by it. Has nothing to do with commitment. And no I have no fear of being vulnerable or open. I’m an open book with basically anyone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

These videos are great. I love this guy #noromo

I hope you have/find suitable understanding partners in the future, though I'm not aro I can definitely see how frustrating and painful for both sides that must've been (esp when someone who's romantic hurt, they can say incredibly disrespectful/hurtful things that invalidate your experience). After those relationships, did you end up predominantly date people in aro communities? Was curious because I would think that would make it easier and help avoid miscommunication

I like the colorblindness analogy.

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

DQ thanks dude! I’m always trying to think of ways that might translate better for folks cuz I know those that don’t experience it can often have hard time conceptualizing it. Thanks so much for watching and commenting! Glad you’re getting so much out of them!

thank u SO MUCH for this

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Hannah Soler of course! Thanks for watching and showing some love! I’m gonna be posting more soon if you’d care to subscribe to check em out when they drop! 🤗 no pressure tho!

@viesoler3280

4 жыл бұрын

​@@nikhampshire I did!! as someone who is v similar (I'm aromantic and gay ) hearing about how u navigate different situations actually helps me understand how to hurt people less in the long run. like the situation you were talking about with having a crush, really liking someone, maybe being intimate and then they start feeling romance towards you is ..... pretty real. we're all working on it and that's what counts!

You are my hero

@nikhampshire

6 ай бұрын

You’re far too kind ☺️❤️thanks for watchin and the luv!

When I was a kid id always say 'maybe' if someone asked me out. i was always too scared to say no, but was creeped out bythe idea of dating! it would get very confusing for friends because i was always intimate and chill with touching and etc. I'm glad I finally realized I was just Aro and not broken :D from a fellow Aromantic whoc not Ace, I'm happy to see the representation

That episode of Bojack Horseman is literally the first time I ever heard the word “Aromantic” and figured out I was Aro.😂

When you talked about your difference views of romantic and platonic love you specified that for you romantic attraction was really focused on "the one" but there are polyamorous people who experience romantic attraction so when saying romance is about "the one" do you mean that no other connection feels as intense as that one or just no other connection feels the same as that one

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Clayton Griffith It’s hard for me to say because I don’t feel that romantic love. But it seems to me romantic love seems somewhat exclusive in some way. For monogamous folks, they can only romantically love one person at a time. Even poly people, they seem to have that romantic love for a few specific people not everyone/everyone. For me, I only have one kind love really. Like my friends and family and people I date it’s all the same. Whatever that love is that makes people want to engage on another level or with some level of exclusivity is not something I experience. I don’t know if I’d say it’s more intense. I mean I love my friends and family as much as I can so to me, it’s a 10. I don’t know how one could love people more, so I guess I would say it’s just different for romantic partners. 🤷🏽‍♂️

From what I (an asexual - but not demi - person) understand, if you're demisexual, you just need an emotional connection, but it does not need to be romantic (and asexuality in general is about not feeling sexual attraction, not about not wanting sex, but idk if you're just phrasing it like that 'cause it makes it easier for people to get). Anyways, always nice to hear about another aro's experiences, laughed a lot at those big aro moods. I also watched your other video on being aromantic and I love all the metaphors you come up with, they're spot on!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

FurvaNoctua good note about making the distinction between emotional connection and romantic connection. I’ll be sure to watch that in the future! And I don’t think I said asexuals simply don’t want sex in the video but if i did it was definitely just a minor flub. I try to make sure people are aware it’s not about “wanting” but the incapability of feeling such attraction whether we’re talking asexuality or aromanticism. Anyways, thanks so much for watching both videos! That’s so much time to listen to me prattle on! Haha glad it resonated with you and I greatly appreciate the feedback! ❤️

@FurvaNoctua

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire No problem! I don't think you specifically said that either, but I couldn't tell quite what definition you had for it, I guess I just wanted to be clear, but sorry if it sounded like an accusation. Honestly, the time just flew by. It's always fun hearing from others with similar experiences and how it pertains to them personally, and also your way of talking about it was just really nice~

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

FurvaNoctua preciate that! Thanks again for watching and commenting! 🙏🏽❤️

I'd consider myself aromantic, but I still want to fall in love. I just don't think that love needs to be romantic. Like I love my family and friends, but it's not romantic. That's how I see it.

11:22 Me lmfaooo I'm binging all of these tonight for sure lol

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

Have you not watched any of them yet? Haha

I am Demi romantic. I often can't fall in love and be romantic until I get sexual with that person. Even then it's not a given. I often get afraid of being rejected or not loving someone " the right way". Romance produces anxiety.

Being aromantic and nice is problematic come to find out. Apparently doing nice things for people is being romantic lmao. I literally don’t understand humans bro. I just like helping people and being kind. Everyone gets the wrong impression.

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

Having to sort understand the difference that occurs between our Brains and alloromantic people is so exhausting sometimes. I have to like double think any action I take to make sure that whatever I’m doing isn’t misconstrued as meaning more than what it does. I find just open communication definitely helps tho some people are determined to be stubborn haha. Thanks so much for watching and chiming in!

I'm a 16 year old girl and I've never hated myself as much as now, since I found out I'm a 99% Aromantic. I've been hysterical for 2 days now and I just feel like my future of desiring love some day has been stolen from me.. yet it makes so much sense.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Kiare de Goeij omg I’m so sorry your having such a hard time dealing with it but I promise it’s really not that bad and honestly has a lot of advantages! Check out my other videos called “we are not broken” and “we are not robots”. I discuss some of the misconceptions of being aro and the advantages. The next video I’m making is going to be about acceptance so definitely subscribe and check back for that. But for real. I know it can suck when you had expectations for life but believe me when I say it’s a bit of a blessing In the long run. Trust me. If you talk to other aros that are older you’ll see a pattern of us being really self sufficient and honestly often times more happy and fulfilled in life than those our age they are alloromantic (or those they feel romantic love). Also, check out the album “aromantic” by Moses sumney. It’s incredibly beautiful and speaks to our experience so well. Specifically the song don’t bother calling. Thank you for watching and sharing your experience! It’s gonna be ok. Believe me ❤️

@kiaredegoeij3419

4 жыл бұрын

Nik Hampshire wow, I just watched the ‘we are not broken’ video and I’m in tears yet again. It’s insane how I feel right now but I think this will just take time. Thank you for your videos and kind reply

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Kiare de Goeij I know it’s a lot. It’ll take a little time I’m sure, but it’s also unbelievably freeing. Romantic relationships are so messy and dramatic and more often than not are riddled with problems and often trauma. We’re sorta exempt from all that. Life is just all around a lot more chill for most aromantics I know. You’ll see! Keep me posted on how you’re doing! You can always find me here or on IG under the same name! ❤️

I don't know if it's because I am a teen or because I am aromantic , but the idea of romantic love isn't interesting to me. I dated people before but I never felt the "effect" of romantic love toward someone and it was more because everyone around me dated people so I kind of felt pressured to date. So I don't know if it's because I am aromantic or just scared or if it's " just a phase."

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Honestly, the label isn’t that important. Just keep doing whatever makes you happy. A label should define your ongoing behavior but just be a reflection of your past. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try something outside of your comfort zone but make sure you communicate openly what you are and aren’t comfortable with with any potential partners! Thanks so much for watching and sharing! I have some more videos on this topic coming out soon so be sure to subscribe !

@Silverleaf_Ranch

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire But how do I get a partner if I don't feel love towards them?

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Namjoonarmy _ depends what you’re looking for. For me? I’m still allosexual so I still like to date casually and have sex I just cant do the romantic stuff and dont want a “traditional relationship”. So anytime I meet someone I might want to be involved with as more than friends, I’ll just be honest with them. I’ll ask them why they are single and what they are looking for. I’ll let them know what I’m interested in and see if our interests align. I’ll let her know I’m aromantic and what that means for me and see if they’re comfortable with that!

@Silverleaf_Ranch

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire You can date people eventhough you aren't in love with them? I didn't know that. So you ask them what they want and if it's the same as you it's okay?

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Namjoonarmy _ relationships can be whatever you make of them! As long as the terms are mutual and respected then you’re good! You can have relationships with people that are strictly about sex. You can have reltionships with people that don’t involve sex at all. You can have relationships with people where one partner can sleep with other and the other doesn’t. You can have a relationship with multiple people at once. There’s no rules to it! Like I said, its just about openly communicating with potential partners what it is you’re looking for/capable of and finding people who match you! So just figure out what your wants and needs are communicate them clearly!

11:28 that is so real, man, I feel that. --Aromantic gay

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

rosemarycat5 people “in love” are crazy 😂😂😂

@rosemarycat5

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Yes omg for so long I though romance was made up by TV or at least greatly exaggerated. lol

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

rosemarycat5 very much same! Thought everyone was exaggerating and then eventually was like “hold up... so y’all like... actually feel this? I need to re-evaluate some things” 😂

Second video I’m commenting on here. Everything is a spectrum obviously but wanted to put it out there in case someone feels the same. I personally am no asexual but I also am. I am far from repulsed by sex, I don’t see people as sexy but I (wow no shame me) am okay with porn. Now here’s where it gets really confusing, I don’t want sex for myself,nothing to be done to me, don’t see others as sexy, but I don’t have the repulsion toward sex. Soooo it’s closest to the term Grey asexual but also really isn’t. I just wanted to put this out there for anyone in case they had or have a similar problem.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Taylor Wow thanks for your input! It’s so interesting how different our experiences can be!

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Taylor Wow also I dunno whats up with KZread or whatever but I can see you commented on my other video in my notifications but when I go to the video itself I can’t see your comment anywhere so I can’t read or respond to it 😩 do you see your comment on the other video?

@gb2718

4 жыл бұрын

Taylor Wow It sounds like you are asexual to me, but only you can really decide if it is the right label for you. If it feels good and is useful, then definitely use it! For both the ace and aro communities I would say our definitions are more attraction(or lack there of) not actions. You do not need to be repulsed to identify as asexual (or aromantic). I think this term may be of use to you though: “ Definition. Aegosexuality-“A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein” -MOGAI Library & multiple other sources.” it falls under the Asexual umbrella.

@taylorwow5968

4 жыл бұрын

Garlyn Brentner thank you I will for sure check it out!

@taylorwow5968

4 жыл бұрын

Nik Hampshire Hmm I don’t see it maybe the comment was revoked. Oh well it’s okay thank you for the reply!

what camera do you use ? good quality

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Alice Espinoza Sony a7iii ! Thanks!

super interesting

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Gussie Eskavitz why thank you 😁🙏🏽 thanks so much for watching! ❤️

im falling in platonic love

"It is all cons dating this person" "Yeah but I love him" "THAT DOSEN'T MAKE AND DAMN SENSE"! I had these rational feelings as well as an Aro but there is some weird rational blocking thing in people's heads that makes them stay with an abuser or something that I don't understand why stay with them but they try and rationalize it like the person is going to change. I don't know what romantic people think or feel as I am not one of them but it is weird as we are all fucked up in the head lol.

I wish there were like an aro app. I don’t know like any aro people in real life.

being aromantic and at the same time having high libido is a worst nightmare for me lol

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

I can def relate to those feels. Not so much anymore for me as my libido has chilled but when I was younger it was def rough haha. Just find a friends with bens that matches your energy! Good luck!

Do you tell people up front that I’m only interested in sex to avoid misunderstanding?

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Chris Johnson well normally I’m not just interested in sex. If i do want sex from them I also want to be friends too. so that’s what I say. I normally ask what it is they’re looking for atm. If they’re looking for a relationship then i usually just don’t pursue any further sexually speaking. But if they say they’re just seeing what’s out there or dating etc I’ll just be honest. Like “hey so I’m aromantic and can’t fall in love so I don’t do relationships but I’m am attracted to you so if you’d be down to hang out some more and get to know eachother and maybe even be down with casual hooks up I’m down! Or if that’s not what you’re looking for and prefer just to be friends we can do that too. “. I just never really make the sex the primary goal even if it was my initial one when i first saw them and I think that helps a lot.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Chris Johnson people could absolutely use this as a front for such behaviors which sucks. But assholes exist in all communities 🤷🏽‍♂️ I can only say this wasn’t MADE UP to do that. It’s a real thing and I think most aromantic (at least that I’ve been in contact with) are good people who have tried to do what they could to be upfront about how they feel as best as they could.

So, question; I previously identified as demisexual because I can't be attracted to people I don't know. I don't want a romantic relationship, though. Friends with benefits is more my thing. Is that not demisexual? To need some form of friendship/comfort before engaging in sex?

@mar_veloz

3 жыл бұрын

That sounds like demisexuality to me! You can definitely be both demisexual and aromantic, I know I am :)

@meadowrae1491

3 жыл бұрын

​@@mar_veloz Neat! Would that be considered on the asexual spectrum?

@mar_veloz

3 жыл бұрын

@@meadowrae1491 Demisexuality is considered part of the ace spectrum, yeah! Personally, since I do still experience sexual attraction, I find I end up relating to aroallos a lot more often than aroaces, but that might not be the case for everyone. The cool thing about being "in between" asexual and allosexual is we have the capacity to relate to both

I told a friend of mine I was aro and she was like "I dont think so I mean you really cant understand love and how it works it's really not something u can control and were just teens so like how could u know and why would u even label urself" and I was just like :| um ok

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

julien schurgerfoy people of all ages have a really hard time grasping aromanticism. There’s really never been much info on aromanticism and there is TOOOONS of stuff about love so many just have a really difficult time even imagining what being aro is like nvm that its a real thing. Don’t take it personally. If they’re a close friend and their response really bothered you then maybe have another talk with them about that. If they’re a friend explain they should respect your feelings and what you feel about yourself. If they continue to dismiss and be rude then they’re showing their capacity as a friend and you can gauge how much they deserve your friendship. I’m sorry they responded so poorly. You got a community on here tho! I see you! Your feelings are valid

Have you ever found a sexual partner/friend, that is also aromantic?

What are your thoughts of having children? feel free to not answer. I'm not interested in having children but I wonder how an aromantic person would reconcile that situation if they do want children.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Domino I actually have wanted kids for a long time. My parents broke up when I was 6 or so and mostly raised me as coparents and I feel like I grew up fine so thats been my idea. I would find a friend to co-parent with. Just skip the dating and break up part and just jump straight to Co parenting! Thanks for watching and inquiring! And the follow!

Am i greyaro 😳🤯😮

I have a question, does aromantic come under the pride community?

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Rushda Shaikh so this in an interesting question because as I’m still cis and straight (sexually speaking) I wouldn’t necessarily say so. I would never liked my experience to that of other members of the community. But I’m told they aros are part of the community so I’m really not sure. I will still usually make a post on coming out day and stuff but I try not to take up space or attention away from those that are more obviously in that community if that makes sense? But ask different people and you’ll get different answers tho more often than not I hear yes. Are you Aro and do you think aro should be included?

@rushdashaikh5380

4 жыл бұрын

I’m aromantic myself and I’ve known I function this way from pretty much the beginning only difference being I found the term aromantic about a year ago and that helped me find more people like me. So it doesn’t really matter to me if we aromantics do or don’t fall into the pride community I’ve just been confused because, like you, some people say we are included whilst others go without mentioning us. Also, your videos were really helpful in giving me a voice. I feel we’re very similar lol and you basically put all my thoughts into words that I wasn’t able to do myself so thank you for that 💙

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Rushda Shaikh so glad I was able to help! I’ve been making these for that exact purpose so i cant tell you how much comments like yours mean to me :) thanks for watching and commenting. I have some more videos coming out soon on the topic, one specially about the LGBTQ+ question as well so consider subscribing if you care to keep up on the journey!

@rushdashaikh5380

4 жыл бұрын

Looking forward to that 😁

You are using platonic in the opposite way. It a non sexual love, romantic.

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

I think I’m more attempting to change it to evolve with our current understanding of love. My point in the video is I love my friends platonically. Even the ones I have sex with, I love them whether we’re having sex or not. That love is platonic. It’s not romantic, and I dont love them sexually, I love them platonically, even if we are having sex too, its separate. Hope this helps clarify my meaning!

Is this on the spectrum of psychopathy? (Not meaning that being a psycopath is anyone's fault.)

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Sundari LaMond your asking this makes me think you don’t know what psychopathy is. As nothing I’ve mentioned correlates with psychopathy and much of what I’ve discussed specially contradicts aspects of psychopathy. What made you think to ask this?

@sundarilamond3071

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Hey, Nik. I meant no offence. My understanding of psychopathy is that it is like being completely emotionally colour blind. I was wondering if aromanticism could be on that kind of spectrum. I'm not judging psychopathy or being aromantic. It just seems like lacking complex emotional traits that are required in romantic relationships could be linked.

@nikhampshire

4 жыл бұрын

Sundari LaMond I didn’t think you were being offensive nor was I trying to be in my response! I asked because if you look into psychopathy there are many aspects of that condition that don’t fit at all with what I’ve discussed In this and other videos. I didn’t say aromantics are lacking in complex emotion merely that we don’t feel romantic attraction. platonic and familial love is as strong and complex as romantic relationships. Just because we don’t feel this one emotion of romantic love doesn’t mean we can’t feel any. So like I said, many aspects that drastically differ from psychopathy.

@sundarilamond3071

4 жыл бұрын

@@nikhampshire Cool, I just wanted to be clear that I wasn't trying to be offensive to anyone (you know how it is on a public platform). There are many successful, happy people who do have those traits and lead good lives that don't wish to harm anyone. I wasn't saying that it was actual psychopathy, just wondering if could be considered in the spectrum or related to it.

Lol you're not aromantic asexual or some other fancy words, YOU ARE A NORMAL YOUNG PERSON JUST HONEST if people tells u how they feel heartbroken, expecially young people, they are indeed collectively telling bullshit!! Young people cry because they feel loser\poor\ugly not because of love. The real truth is that it takes a really long time to actually love a person, for everybody. People should wake up and start believe in yourself and your own experience, everybody else lies all the time.

@nikhampshire

3 жыл бұрын

Edoardo Massari I’m sorry you lack understanding on the subject friend. Rather than asserting you know everything perhaps take some time to consider you perhaps don’t and understand others experience. You’re concept of what is “normal” does not apply to everyone and until you can understand that you’ll be misguided and lead to false conclusions. Thank you for watching tho! 🙏🏽