I do all the cooking at our house because Barbara has dementia and I really don’t want her near the stove. To be honest I was always the better cook.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that.

I couldn’t agree more with what you have said. I learnt how to bake and cook from the age of four with my mother, how to wash clothes and bedding from the age of 10 and it’s part of my everyday life. The various girlfriends I’ve had over the years who couldn’t do any of that stuff and I taught them. Now I have a wonderful lady in my life who can do everything I can do and I’ve not had to teach her anything. She’s a star.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Hang on to her Rob - the good ones are rare 😁

What a beautiful picture of caring and serving one another. Been in your situation and so thankful for each of us taking care of the other.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

It's no hardship to look after someone that you love. It's lovely to be able to thank them for all that they do

So right Hugh. That's why you are partners. Man or woman. A partner takes care of his or her partner. I hope Fiona is hanging in there. ❤

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Exactly that. She's hanging on. More X-rays are due in 10 days and we will know more then - thanks for asking 👍

I'd describe our arrangements as 'traditional /flexible'. My jobs include traditional male domains such as household repairs, car maintenance, renovations etc, but I also do most of the cooking and a lot of the interior design decisions are made by me (I'm an art graduate and have quite refined visual sensibilities). My wife does most of the washing and cleaning, but is more than competent with power tools, has no problem with dispatching and butchering poultry, chops firewood and can carry 25kg grain sacks without flinching despite her deceptively slight frame. You could come to our smallholding one day and get the impression that we have a very old fashioned male / female division of labour, but come on another day and think we're an uber-modern, non-role-delineated couple. I'd like to think either of us would be able to carry on running the smallholding if one of us were injured...though we're yet to test the theory. I think for us, it's about slotting into the jobs we feel most comfortable with and which makes the most of our complementary skills.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely agree with do what you are comfortable with and best at - we do, but it sounds like you are both competent with all the routine tasks and that's important too.

Way to go Hugh! Nothing wrong with learning how to do everything! Everything that you both whip up always looks so tasty 😋

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you!

Fiona, good job addressing the embarrassing topic. When I broke my hip and needed to use the toilet but had no help I had a good solution. Put the walker next to the bed along with a covered bucket that won't tip easily on the floor. (big box diy store type) Stand at the walker and use an oblong plastic container ie: Nestles Quik hot chocolate powder to piddle. Then empty into the bucket and cover. Have someone empty and disinfect the bucket at night. All this requires is that you can stand, stabilize yourself with one hand, hold the plastic container in the right spot with the other hand. OF COURSE this is embarrassing to do and talk about. I would rather talk about chickens! But! I don't know why the hospital didn't have something like this. Anything you do to lessen the chance of a fall is worth the embarrassment and helps you and your family.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

The hospital did give us some equipment to help us including a commode as it wasn't always practical to have Hugh always on hand to help me get down the steps into the bathroom. Yes, that's still embarrassing to talk about but I felt it was really important to have a personal hygiene section in this video because it's not something anyone considers (including us before it happened). The local hospital services have been amazing.

Thank you for this video. Hopefully parents out there will take the lead and teach their kids ❤

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

I hope so too

Excellent! Couldn't agree more. Get well soon Fiona 🙂

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you - fingers crossed 🤞

In sickness and In health and it works both ways. Yes we have “our” jobs - he does maintenance, diy, etc. i do household shop, cook and laundry but he can do my jobs better than I could do his!

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Exactly so - we are the same but we are both at least "adequate" at all the important jobs

As I've gotten more involved with my homestead I've had less time to watch YT, so I've unsubscribed from channels with different climate, acreage, homestead focus, etc. Today is cooler & cloudy & windy and, after two days working outside, I'm tuckered out - so I sat down to 'visit' some of my favorites that I used to subscribe to. Fiona, I'm so sorry to hear you're down for the count! I hope you mend much more quickly than anyone in the medical world could have imagined! And I just might have to resubscribe, because I've missed you guys, and I really enjoy your videos. Best wishes from MN, USA.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Welcome back 🤗

Eldest of nine so when Mum went into hospital, Dad stepped into the breach. We used to love it because he is the BEST cook! Did the washing and all. Even pulled my brothers up on it when in their late teens, early 20s, they were ditching their washing for our Mum to do. They were told in no short terms to learn how to use a washing machine that their Mum was done rearing them and it was about time they became men. Interestingly, historically the whole thing about men and women's roles in society only came with the Industrial Revolution. Prior to that both men and women shared roles each according to their skill levels. Complementarity. We should all use our God given gifts and talents to help each other. Thanks Hugh and Fiona.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

I really like the sound of your Dad!

My brother in law quite proudly told me he’s never ironed or cooked anything in his life. I replied he ought to be ashamed 🙄😁 On the other hand his brother, my husband, ironed all his own shirts, pressed his suit trousers, would wash the kitchen floor and vac the stairs! Well done both of you 😘😘 Since my husband’s died I’ve had to learn to do the blue jobs and the pink jobs 🤣

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like you got the best of the bunch!

Greetings from Cape Cod, MA/USA. Love the channel!

@EnglishCountryLife

18 күн бұрын

Thanks Scott

Can only say "Here, Here", spot on, it can only be this way when living this lifestyle. You both have to be able to turn your hand to all things, whether it be cooking and washing, feeding and mucking out, dispatching and butchering, building and repairs, different food preservation techniques. We may have our task preferences but all jobs have to be done no matter what the circumstances. Enjoyable video.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you! It was a tongue in cheek title but we're really glad the point came across that it's not a gender thing. It doesn't matter when the gender of the partners are on a smallholding, only that they are a true partnership and truly share the tasks

I feel Fiona's frustration I shattered my ankle July 22, I'm back living with a family female friend who I care for and majority of cooking. It was awkward but due to her disability the house was already adapted with rails and grabs. The most liberating thing was getting a swivel stool and waterproof cast cover (if you have a shower cubicle) 2 weeks ago I broke my wrist so back to precooked and takeaways (but we can afford to do that shortly term) Something that helped me recover quicker was sauna and spa pool if you have one close enough and not too pricey (local authority gym membership)

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Blimey mate, you've been through the wars. Get well soon!

Agree. We share the cooking, I do the cloths washing, sort and empty the dishwasher and the dryer. Here's funny, I have created a food file of printed off recipes but also a list of all the recipes we like from all our cook books. Of course it must work both ways.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Yes, it was a tongue-in-cheek video but on a homestead/smallholding it has to be shared duties otherwise it just falls apart when the unexpected happens

Well done on this video, very well done, great info and great tone! All the best with the recovery

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thanks so much!

I’ve so much to say on this KZread will probably make me break into more than 2 comments. Starting with you’re sooo right. Our washing machines are a bit different from yours but yes, laundry’s easy enough to sort. My grandmother used to love doing all the laundry but we think it’s because she could use a machine instead of boiling water by the creek the way she learned.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

It's a partnership and partners help each other. It's no more complicated than that 👍

We’ve been together for nearly 25 years and have 4 kids. I’m the cook in the house, because I find it more fun than other things (and unless it’s a holiday she finds it boring). My wife is involved in town politics and various committees, so wrangling the kids in the evening once or twice a week isn’t a big deal. Actually an extension of the “Livestock care” section: everyone in a relationship should be able to take care of everything by themselves, no problem, if the needs arise. One might be better or enjoy things more, but everyone should have skills to step in, cos stuff like this happens.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

That's our stance two. It's a genuine partnership, supporting each other. Gender just doesn't come into it, despite the tongue in cheek title!

A delightful video - though I was disappointed not to see you don a pinny, Hugh. Nice to shoutout to Kev - he's a legend as well! ❤❤

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

I should have got a nice frilly pinny 😁

I hope you recover soon Fiona, praying for you.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thanks. That's very kind of you and much appreciated

Back in the day women did all the household chores but back then dry few worked outside the home (disclaimer: farm homes usually shared much of the outside work even then, just as you and Fi do now) In today’s world with both spouses usually holding a job that’s no longer fair.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Very true

Male nurse here, so the personal care stuff is all fairly normal to me. There are lots of gadgets out there for helping people dress themselves after injuries or disabilities.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Hi Sam - long time no see! Hope all is well with you? Are there any sites that you would recommend for these sorts of aids? With us, it's still a case if "we don't know what we don't know" 😊

@samacw

3 ай бұрын

@@EnglishCountryLife I think it's cutting off links in my replies, any search string for "dressing aids disability NHS" seems to being up a great many suppliers. It's the dressing sticks which are most useful, and there are other things which can help depending on your individual situation - sock pullers, leg lifters, button hooks and so on. You can probably get a referral to an Occupational Therapist for some of this stuff if you want, but it's quicker and easier to just buy online. OTs are great.

May your family find better times soon. In the aspect of protect, sometimes protecting means that you help your partner get clean. Because if you didn't they'd fall right over and back to the hospital you'd be going. In the area of provide, sometimes that means providing meals, clean clothes, a shoulder to cry on when they get so frustrated with their lack of mobility that they beat the ground with their crutches and scream. Meaning that we're supposed to be partners in the struggles of life not the benefactors of a live in servant.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you.

Do you have any favourite places where you get your recipes from ? I just found a really good channel for Chinese/Asian food by a mother and son who have a restaurant in the UK. I tried their sweet and sour sauce, the restaurant style version, and it tasted exactly like a takeaway. I hade tried several other recipes before this one and no e of them hit the mark, the closest one was by the Hary Bikers . RIP Dave Myers, a great chap who will be sadly missed by many people. We print off our favourites and put them in plastic wallets in a ring binder. I do all of the foreign meals, Lizzie is a mean bake-ist and loves cooking cakes, I do my part by eating them ! 😁 My dad was much like yours. Couldn't cook, do the laundry, change the beds etc. His 'contribution ' was growing veg on his allotment. I think it's very much a throwback to how things were for pre 1960's generations. When I broke my leg, and more recently when I had my hip op, I got inventive for washing. For my leg I used a pedal bin liner over my cast , and wrapped a tea towel around my leg , tying the bag over the towel. The bag kept the cast dry and the tea towel stopped water from seeping down under the neck of the bag. For my hip op I taped some cling film over the dressing and stitches using masking tape. Fortunately my hairy hip had been shaved for surgery , not a problem for Hopalong I am sure. Love and best wishes from Lizzie, me Herbie the cat and the feathery fivesome. 😁👍

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

We source our re pipes from lots of places. Some are favourites from decades old cookery books, some from the web. The best Indian cookery book we've come across is The Curry Secret by Khris Dhillon and tge best Chinese cookery book, tge Encyclopedia of Chinese Cookery by Ken Lo

@chrishamilton-wearing3232

3 ай бұрын

@@EnglishCountryLife The Chinese website I have found is called ' Ziangs Food Workshop'. It's worth a look even if you don't try one of their recipes but just for the interplay between the son and his mother, it's very amusing and she is a lovely lady.

I appreciated this video you two! It was a really great teaching lesson! Thanks to you both! 🤗

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you 😊

I really enjoyed this and I hope, Fiona, that you heal up soon! I’ve never understood this whole “ I can’t do xxx.” for everyday household chores. If you’ve got this far in life, you can most likely learn, so it’s just a matter of inclination. I think any adult should be able to do all the chores you need to be able to live an independent life, but that doesn’t mean that you have to like doing them or be any good at them. It’s ok to ask for help, do a bit of trial and error, or google how to do something. Villagers, relatives and partners have had to help each other out since the dawn of time and both women and men often spent long periods of time apart or with only others of the same gender (for a variety of reasons), so it’s a bit of a false presumption that “men didn’t do this” and “women didn’t do that” back in the ‘good old days’… Showing a bit of interest in your other half’s daily life and hobbies is a good way to show appreciation for them, but it also comes in handy when one of you gets ill. Last year, my partner had to step up and take care of the beehives for me (with directions) and he did wonderfully, considering he’d mainly been helping with lifting and carrying and putting up with me occasionally rambling on about bees up until that point.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like you have a keeper there Sara!

@sararassner

3 ай бұрын

@@EnglishCountryLife Oh, no doubt about that! :D Not sure what terrified him the most, dealing with the bees or braiding my hair a few times when I couldn’t do it myself. :) But seriously, he did an amazing job taking care of me, the animals and all the day-to-day stuff. I’d hate feeling like I couldn’t do everyday stuff on my own (and also be rather embarrassed about it!), so I don’t understand how anyone would want to live their life like that. It doesn’t have to be that complicated and, as you say, there are multiple youtube videos for how to do everything nowadays.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

@@sararassner I bet the bees swarming was high on the list - although hair braids would be close 😉

Absolutely so. My wife and I are team, and that is why it works so well. In my case i think it stems from when i was young and my mum fell ill and i had step in to some of her work, and found i liked it and wasnt a complete disaster at it. But it is a two way street. We can both do stuff sufficiently well to be able to do all that is necessary if one of tother is indisposed. Mind you we each have specific areas of strength.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely we have our specialties too - but strive to be at least "competent" in all routine tasks

@TimWrightMe

3 ай бұрын

@@EnglishCountryLife Quite. The wife is exceptional at opening bottles whereas my skill is emptying them 😀

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

@@TimWrightMe Snap! Although I'm not drinking whilst I'm the only one who can drive (in case of emergency)

Another thing missing from the past: back when most people knew their neighbors well and attended Church regularly with them, met them in shops, at the Post Office, etc. you could expect a lot more outside help when either partner was under the weather.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

True. We are lucky to have the neighbourhood help here if we choose to accept it.

Great video! I think that sort of attitude is essential, really, if you're a couple on a smallholding as you two are: there just isn't the slack in the system for old fashioned "women's work" and "men's work". Although I'm a pensioner, those concepts were a surprise to me after I left home - for instance, when my mum went into hospital when I was 15, as the oldest girl, you'd expect the housework and the cooking to fall to me, in working class north of England in the late 60s. Not a bit of it! I studied for my O levels, my 17 year old brother did the housework, and my dad came home from his factory job and cooked the meals. And he always washed his factory overalls anyway, he wouldn't let my mum touch them, he said they were too dirty for her.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

We simply ignore stereotypes and do what needs to be done, as you say!

Certainly good advice.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

Hope for a quick recovery 🙋‍♂

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much

Sitting in front of my Ironheart watching you sitting in front of your Ironheart!

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Fantastic aren't they?

I live alone so I have to do everything lol, although I do think traditional gender roles have a place. ( In before comment of that's why you live alone haha )

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣 Maybe 🤣🤣🤣

Wonderful video!

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you very much!

Great video. I love it when men are being men.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

But on a smallholding that means shared tasks for everything! :-)

Love the thumbnail 😂

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

It made us laugh 😃

Any chance of getting that Pad Thai and lemon chicken recipes?

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

We will film them next time we do them!

Get well soon

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. That's very kind of you

A good marriage has flexibility. Today, there aren't many excuses to be accepted since we have such Freedom to learn! Yes. There is truth that individuals have different Talents. Maybe Strength vs Mind, or Creating vs Routines. But we all need to Know how to Cope. I am in a bad situation, which IS 24/7. No one to back me up or help. Compound that with Permanent broken leg.... Which IS my Driving leg and Dominant side, also. I have to DO ALL on it and with it. But i simply CAN'T!! I try Hiring people, they Scam me, Rip me off and i get Left IN a worse Situation! Ha! An example is? My bathroom is ripped out, chipwood floor, drain for sink not connected AND no bath or shower installed. See? I would love having a Partner! To share Burdens! And my bedroom is upstairs, with bathroom and kitchen below..... Treasure each other. Pride never helps by either Party. I commend you both! And enjoyed your honest video.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you - so sorry to hear about your situation, we really hope that it improves 😘

You can't call yourself a man if you need to rely on others for basic survival.

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

That's a great way to put it 👍

@EvidensInsania

3 ай бұрын

@@EnglishCountryLife Thanks. I mean how are you supposed to look after others if you can't even look after yourself.

First … find a partner! 😉

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

So true! :-)

weve a 300 yearold farmhouse with 2 acres of yard and garden plus10 acres of land , we try to do as many jobs together as possible including restoring the house ,we both cook im very traditional shes pescatarian, she does the washing and most of the house work me the outside thats more choice on her part and practicality, same brick as yours so yours must be similar age and we are in lincs not so far from louth

@EnglishCountryLife

Ай бұрын

12 acres is a lot to manage!

@2frogland

Ай бұрын

@@EnglishCountryLife i keep 7 as pasture and do a summer lease with local farmer who puts calves and their mothers on by ploughing up a couple of acres and reseeding back to pasture the old plots i can keep my growing land refreshed

for the bucket

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Thank you Pamela. Your "for the bucket" tag has made my evening. You truly are a star!!!! Thank you

I have the same microwave oven as you lol

@EnglishCountryLife

3 ай бұрын

Great little conventional oven too we find