I just became a dad just 2 months ago, and I feel and share your frustration. I've been a software engineer for about a decade and a half and in a relationship for a bit over 13 years. Passion projects were always difficult for me to stick with, I'm always dropping the process somewhere along the way. It's hard to balance a full-time dev job, a relationship, my hobbies, and friends - let alone some side project, be it in game dev or something else. I am just now picking up game dev (again, for the millionth time) hoping something will stick this time around. My two cents - don't beat yourself for not going 110% every second you have to spare. Taking the time to relax is important to your well-being, even if you're just doomscrolling some social feed. Plus, as you may already know, every show you watch, and every game you play - are all expanding your horizons, knowledge, and ideas. Creativity comes from observation and life experiences - It's important to let yourself have those. Also, everything that you made - even if not completed - is a step forward. Things don't need to be packaged and shipped to be meaningful. Growth is personal, outside recognition won't change that. But don't stop trying, failing is just part of the process. Always try to be the best version of yourself - For yourself, your kids, and loved ones.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Such good stuff and wise words. Thank you for sharing that encouragement! And congrats on becoming a dad - one of the most rewarding things in life for sure.

@InzideEntertainment

2 ай бұрын

It's great to see people willing to devote their free time to making the vision a reality. I'm sure you'll find your passion for it again. Personally, I've found that just touching base with the platform every day, even briefly, helps keep the habit alive. Just opening it, especially during busy weeks, can help maintain momentum. It's a simple task, taking only 30 seconds to open, click on something, and then get back to your day. #Psychology == TRY IT! == Personally I find myself opening the engine just to fly around with the character I created and check out the houses/floating island I built... - Hopefully more people become willing to colab on projects. I'm not a professional developer I have a different day job. Trying to build a group of 3-6 casuals to push out a portfolio of small multiplayer games within Unreal. I figure having a small group over multiple game titles is wise. Everyone has a vision and step-by-step we can accomplish them all! I used to have some videos of the showcase but I feel I'm novice at video editing and cannot do it justice.. If you are interested I will endeavor to put something up this weekend on the channel.

I have a full time (actually about 75% time) job, I'm a husband, and a father of a beautiful boy and two cats. Oh, and I also have ADHD, my wife has ADHD, and we haven't checked, but I'm about 196% sure that the little guy has it too. It's like playing a game on insane difficulty, while blindfolded and balancing on a piece of cardboard in the middle of a lake full of alligators, and also on fire. You are on fire, the cardboard is on fire, the alligators are on fire, everything is always on fire. Even the water is on fire. What I mean is that we fail a lot and things can seem hopeless sometimes. And in the middle of that firestorm I still had dreams of making games as a hobby. Crazy, I know. But what actually taught me a lot about how to fail properly was Dark Souls. It taught me that no matter how many times I see "YOU DIED", I can get back up. Every time I got a little bit better, went a little bit further. I used guides, and asked other people to help me where I struggled. Finally, I found a build that I liked, everything clicked, and I beat all the freaking lords including Gwyn on first try. With gamedev - I found a process that worked with my insane schedule and my insane neurodivergent brain, and I made peace with the idea of making just good small games, short, maybe even 5-10 minute experiences that still feel nice and meaningful. Tiny interactive stories and vignettes that still allow me to express myself and bring me catharsis. I still struggle a lot, my ADHD brain gets in the way a lot, but my itch page has now 29 entries, and is still growing. Some of those I made at night, just typing a few words 15 minutes before sleep, some I tapped away on my phone while the little guy was on the playground running around with his kindergarten friends. The bottom line is that somehow I made it work, and I'm pretty proud. The guilt and shame are still there, but they mostly died down as I made peace with this being a hobby, and small games being just as worthy as big games. So, the struggle is real, and it's hard, but I bet there's a way. So next time you see "YOU DIED", just try a different build. Or go somewhere else. But no matter what - don't you dare go hollow!

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Dude, your story is so inspiring and shows that perseverance can lead to great achievements! Thank you so much sharing!

The honesty and realness of this video hits! I’m a father (10 years), husband (15 years), and sole provider. My “why” was my child. I started with the idea of she will have this game we made together, forever. Whether it sells or bombs, I didn’t make it for the world - I made it for her and put it out in the world. She got to see the whole process of her hero making something from nothing. One thing I try to do is gamify my game. I have my tasks and treat each one like a “dungeon” in a game - today I have to slay this Main Menu UI boss. Just like games I play some of it is just walking around exploring, some is grinding/farming items, and some are final boss fights. Every time you complete something you’re this much closer to finishing the game. I’m surprised you don’t have a Discord server. It would be awesome to meet other dads/husbands who can relate to these struggles.

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

That is SUCH a great idea! I plan on creating a Discord in the coming months, so stay tuned in! I appreciate your comment though, the struggle is very real, but it sounds like your why is in the right place! Keep up the good work!

I get tired just making games and videos, I couldn't imagine being a father as well. I really respect the dedication

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!

I was thinking of doing a video about this topic and your video just popped. As a husband, father of 3 and working full time I can really relate to this struggle. Keep going

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

That’s awesome! It’s great to hear of another dev balancing everything too. Thanks for being here!

Love this video! It resonates so much right now! Im a sahm (also with 2 under 4) & my husband works full time from home & we are just starting out on our game dev journey trying to make games together. Finding balance and creating a schedule is definitely a struggle! Wish I had tips, but we are still learning this as a family.

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

That is awesome, thank you so much for sharing!

I saw you post this on the Full Time Game Dev discord. I feel like I'm in a very similar situation to you, yet very different. I'm not a full time dad with my wife working, but I am at home trying to get my game dev working and I also highly value my time with my family. Also, I agree with the idea of making shorter games to be more efficient. I can't make money if I'm spending years making games.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing! Just knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way, makes all the difference. Keep going, you got this!

Thanks for being vulnerable man. It can be a struggle. It takes a long term goal mindset to do this kinda thing. I'm pretty new to this myself. Happy to see another man of faith working on video games!

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Thank you! Yeah mindset really makes a difference. Glad to have you here!

The struggle is real indeed. Keep on finding that time my friend.

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

Thank you!

I just started my youtube journey and am now taking my gamedev journey more seriously. My wife is pregnant with our first child. I am glad you have your priorities straight, keep going for it! I will do that same, and my faith is the most important part of this whole equation, so I can relate you to in a lot of ways, even if I am behind by several years!

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

That's so great to hear man! I just checked out your channel too, your first video is so good! Keep it up, you got this!

@GodotBro_

3 ай бұрын

@@SoulEngineDev Thanks! I have already learned how to improve future videos to make them more engaging. I hope your channel takes off!

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Thank you! Same to you!

Awesome video man. I can definitely resonate with some of this. I am also a Dad, Husband and Game Dev, however, my game dev dream is only part time because I am fortunate to have a full time job, therefor trying to make time for gamedev and family has always been a challenge for me.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

The struggle is very real, but sharing our experiences and supporting one another makes all the difference. Thanks for sharing!

Awesome Man! Very inspiring video. Thanks for sharing. I'm starting my journey in game dev and still looking for that "why" that can help me to stick with the dream. Thanks again

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Thanks so much, so glad it could help motivate you on your journey! Glad you’re here!

I'm in the same shoes he's in

Even though I'm not a dad yet (no wife at my side...best to keep these things in order), I resonate with so much of this. Especially that feeling of "I have to get work done or else I'm just wasting time!"

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

Yesssss. I wish I could say that it’s not often I feel that way, but it’s something I struggle with frequently. So know that you’re not alone!

@SwordofAslan

2 ай бұрын

@@SoulEngineDev I feel like with some time, I could articulate that feeling. Maybe it's because we're men and we tend to be far more "task orientated" and if we don't do the game dev, it just won't get done. No one else is going to make this game for us.

I do feel that struggle too. It's very hard to deal with this situation in a lot of events. That said, your jar/glass of water will eventually be hit by your elbow, maybe not today, but it will fall. Be aware of that.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

LOL Thank you for the heads up, it will be moved hahaha

Rel ;D But as a man, you have sometimes to make hard choices. Especially as a gamedev, especially solo one. But most of us know, that there is a reward at the end - so that's why we sometimes choose to do more, to work one extra hour. Than of course there comes a remorse. But what can you do? We all have 24h in a day... If you will not do it, whos gonna? If the extra work is not that much as in Interstellar movie, when he lefts young daughter and comes when she is old - I think that's fine :)

As a Husband and gamedev, since I got laid off at game industry I feel you, how it's hard to keep doing indie game development

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

It’s definitely tough. Hopefully sharing our experiences helps us to stay motivated.

@TempestGameDev

3 ай бұрын

@@SoulEngineDev exactly! Also I love your videos, inspire me to keep doing

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

That is so great to hear. I hope your inspiration can inspire others!

As a husband who prioritizes family, thanks for sharing. The struggle is real and it's a balance I have yet to find with my full time career. As someone who makes videos using the same mic as yours, do you care to share how you setup your audio? I can usually cancel noise out but it makes my voice sound grainy or tinny.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

I appreciate it! As far as my set up goes it's really nothing special, haha. On top of that, I only have a snowball microphone, which is far from ideal. BUT I do have a very quiet room I'm able to go to, and then after every video, I run the audio through Audacity following the tutorial below. If you have any other questions, let me know! kzread.info/dash/bejne/loV3pJlrg5mafJc.htmlsi=x-G-d8Xo8d0-1e4d

Bit late to the video, but I'm mainly struggling with just getting myself to work on my games in the first place. Whenever I managed to continuously work on them, it's for a few weeks or months before something else comes up like a vacation or other responsibilities and next thing I know - it's been months if not years without any real progress (outside of writing down new ideas / thoughts) 😅 Not to mention just struggling badly with the "game design" part and trying to figure out how to make everything work or making enough levels for something that lasts more than just 2 minutes.. :/

The horror game I'm working on solo I've barely talked about at all. This game was in my head for 6 years, and has been in development since 2022. You'd think that means I've been working on the game for several years, but no. In terms of development, its just been months. I'm so exhausted by it, but I still dont want to release a 5 minute experience. That's why I keep delaying it till there's at least a complete package. And this package still won't be over an hour long. You're not alone. Gamedev, especially solo, can be a heavy toll. I don't have anything else to take care of besides gamedev, and its still a heavy burden. I hope in the end of the day you can look at your own games with love when they're done.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Its definitely a tough call when deciding to ACTUALLY release your game because of all the stuff you want to add. Keep it up, you got this!

Very great video!! Balancing game development and other thing like job, taking care of the kids or taking care of a relationship or all three it can be really hard, you had to have a lot of energy and time or balance it dedicating time to all, than is really hard... I understand all than you have to pass, and I hope you good luck with it, surely you will accomplish it and balance it all

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely! Thank you so much!

@azrhyga

2 ай бұрын

@@SoulEngineDev You're more than welcome!

priorities changes with family, when u are alone you just focus on your dreams and what u want for yourself. But when having family the goal changes to the family goals. Thats why must successful people have divorced an re-married after they've achieved they're goals, they were so focus on the objective they let down their families, and they might regret in the future. I mean there's always a sacrifice, time, family, friends. Its hard to have it all and be happy with it.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

I couldn't have said it better myself. Its so important to have that balance. Thank you for sharing!

I don't have those issues but I still wouldn't do KZread.

I really need to be part of a team like he found

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

Having a team literally changed everything for me. I seriously can't recommend it enough. If you have questions about the process, I made a video about it, but you got this!

At the end of the day, everybody has their own struggles. In this case, it's that you have to train yourself. Train your diligence. When you are saying "I could be doing this instead of gaming", that's you wanting to improve. When you do improve and get used to using that time for doing productive stuff, you'll be in a better place. As for your kids, conditioning them into understanding that you're making a game and to allow you to put time into it; there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know how much time you already spend with them beforehand, but if it's a lot, you can at least let them know a little about game deving. Teach your kids the difficulty of game deving and they'll learn to respect it. Your kids will grow up better, knowing to respect things. And when they do respect something, show that you're proud of them for it.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

It’s true, I definitely hope to teach my kids about the stuff I love and what I love to do. And the power of hard work and discipline.

I mean thanks for sharing, but to be honest, I think in general you can replace "game dev" to any other serious career. hang in there Mr. soul.😊

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

You’re not wrong! I just wanted to share the unique way that I balance game dev in my life since it isn’t a 9-5 job for me and I am also a full-time dad in this season.

@mj2068

3 ай бұрын

@@SoulEngineDev yeah, i know. if there is a job/family spectrum, game dev is probably gonna sit in the "harder side" of the curve. take it easy, bro. good luck.

@SoulEngineDev

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!

👆🏻 One More here!! you are not alone brother!! I´m father for many more years then you, just get harder but it´s a blessing.🙏🏻

@SoulEngineDev

2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much, it is SUCH a blessing!