They’ll pretend to care for & love you when nothing could be further from the truth. This can be family too.

@pjpj3416

2 жыл бұрын

It's always family aka relatives.

@peggytengan9959

2 жыл бұрын

Going thru this now:((

@cereal_qilla

2 жыл бұрын

@@pjpj3416 or siblings

@corrinepeta

2 жыл бұрын

Im not even sure they pretend. They say it, but when it comes to the crunch, they make you feel like the most worthless, no-existent piece of shit you never felt you were in your life.

@dianewilkins4418

2 жыл бұрын

Mostly family

And the only thing you can do about them is to walk away, and stay away. They do not, cannot, will not change, ever.

@samarina4truth111

Жыл бұрын

Hard to do when it’s an 95 year old mother, who’s still competing, trying to trick you in every possible way as if she was 20…

@samarina4truth111

Жыл бұрын

Because of age and health which she plays when convenient, difficult to drop her…

@Pyrrhic537

3 ай бұрын

​​@@samarina4truth111I helped care for my late grandmother. It got me separated from my 17 year marriage... No appreciation or sorrow from my mother who's now in her late 70s. In fact she twists it and says i did nothing. Not all the cooking, hoovering, carpet cleaning, dishwashing, wheelchair, lifting, walking with. I basically did everything but personal care. I realise personal care was the hardest. I loved my grandma alot. She passed away 3 year's ago aged 96 due to the hospital giving her unessicary opoids, and an earlier hospital visit she was given dementia via being given too much potassium which rendered her in a weakened state the last 4 year's of her life. My grandmother hadn't been easy before dementia. She, my mother considered by brother " the clever one". He didn't live up to his potential. It wasn't his fault. There were many misfortunes. I was a scapegoat for everything and every decision I made was bad. They insulted my wife ( she wasn't perfect but still), my kid's etc. It must be tough for you and you're very brave. You're very decent and I hope you get rewarded for your sacrifice. Make sure you get some respite or it could kill you.

@v_north

Ай бұрын

I'm not religious but, amen

@nataliyalevashov6483

26 күн бұрын

What if its your child???

If somebody eggs you on till you lose your temper...they are baiting you. If they use manipulation, lies, and talk about you unkindly, they're baiting you. And If they make promises (future faking) they don't keep, they're not only baiting you...they're making your life a living hell. Do you want that?

@lindamahrer1760

2 жыл бұрын

Cymbolic Human.... You are so right to a t.

@ld3418

2 жыл бұрын

thnx. so easy for those of us programmed from b4 birth to be hoovered and forget then get whacked over and over again.

@georgiafrancis9059

2 жыл бұрын

Been living it for 35 years...could write volumes about HOW they work.

@GroovyChic868

Жыл бұрын

Yes Sir. I just left a person like this after 5 years of dealing with him. I packed up and moved out. I felt that I had to remove myself from him.

@nrf1928

Жыл бұрын

THERE EVIL AND PERSON BELIEVE WHAT'S THERE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND HER PARENT HELPS HER THAT CHILD DON'T NEED TO AROUND HER YOUR RIGHT HER LIES SHE'S TRYING TO DESTROY OUR LIFE MY SON AND SHE'S DOING IT BECAUSE HER PARENTS KNOWS THE DA POLICE SO THAT'S WHY MY SON WHEN TO JAIL AND IT'S GOT BAD HER PARENTS ENCOURAGE HER IT'S SAD BUT THERE ALOT THE POLICE HAS DONE HES NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLEUNTILL UNTIL NOW SHE'S EVIL SHE NEEDS TO BE IN THE NUT HOUSE I'VE BE GOING THROUGH HELL WITH HER NOW TRYING TO CLEAR HIS NAME AND MINE AND GET HIM OUT OF JAIL 2DIFFERNT STATES I'M FIXING TO GET EVERYONE INVOLVED WHEN TO PICK UP POLICE REPORT COULDN'T BE FOUND LL

You have one way relationships with these people. You constantly GIVE. They constantly TAKE. This isn't a basis for any healthy relationship but a recipe for disaster.

@annabanzon313

14 күн бұрын

Preach, besides that dynamic becomes unsustainable.

My son called them emotional vampires”. He was smarter than me. He has passed away, but his wisdom lives forever.

@LION-on4gd

Жыл бұрын

😢🕯🌟🕊

@FlipMacz

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry for your loss. Blessings

@face-in-the-crowd

Жыл бұрын

😢❤

@GammaQuadrantStudio

Жыл бұрын

If its what I’m thinking of that comes from an amazing show “what we do in the shadows”. Great show with some keen insights into human behaviors if you’re looking for them. If you haven’t watched it I would suggest it highly. It might even help you connect with the idea more too that your son presented you with.

@carrie4558

Жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear that. Our sons are so precious 🙏

I was born into a nest of narcissists. Hugging the walls worked for only so long. People, you must document everything. It will end up in court eventually.

@brigittecavanagh4291

Жыл бұрын

@Anna like a nest of vipers the fact is they are all vipers.

@n_phoenix

11 ай бұрын

I have box of notebooks that I written all the shitty things happened for last 7-9 years. It was feel like I'm trying to get to the sea surface to breathe my father is pushing my head into the water back and when I get so powerful and about to get out of water my mother pulling me into the deep from my foot harder. The last time I was spent there I was imagining them melting by the flames. That was the only thing made me calm a little bit. And when I wash my hands I was seeing washing blood out of my hands some times.

@jodizellmer994

11 ай бұрын

I agree, but sometimes there could also be certain information that was exposed, and while it may not appear as it seems to those closest to you, unfortunately it could still be extremely damaging legally in certain circumstances because it shows motive.

@BEAUTYnIQ

19 күн бұрын

why write it down..? thats score-keeping and a further waste of energy..! get Away..! is the only way to regain peace of mind.. another thing: in dysfunctional families, they will resent the one who had normal, Healthy thinking..!

The narcissist I knew used to play mind games with me, I would let it all build up then loss it, so it made me look like the crazy one, they are pure evil 👿

@Scott-nr2ji

Жыл бұрын

The name for it is reactive abuse. And many think that it's a pre-planned activity. Hard to imagine. I'm just not playing chess in the "how I'm going to screw you over" game, so I can't imagine a chess game hostile step by step diminishing of somebody. (I'd already be gone if I was that mad!)

@mariekebootsma4346

Жыл бұрын

That happened to me too. Then the narc call you borderline They are evil.

@mariekebootsma4346

Жыл бұрын

​@@Scott-nr2jithank you. I didn t know it was called, reactive abuse. I am going to read about it.

@sallygrant5927

Жыл бұрын

I saw this guy and said to myself he’s bad news when I first saw him. I have no idea why. Then I ended up marrying him. I was so right.

@Bella-fz9fy

11 ай бұрын

They abuse you and you get angry and defend yourself/confront them,then they deny everything and make you the aggressive bad/nutty one!

As my cousin once told me every so often you have to pick the weeds from your garden of life - how TRUE!!

@elizabethr4107

Ай бұрын

Amen

simple but effective, dont try to diagnose or label someone. bad people are bad people

@juliemauger6183

28 күн бұрын

True; but I do think some are just very, very damaged individuals. However they are often resistant to do anything about it. Some people can't be helped.

@alllifematters

19 күн бұрын

Sometimes people are also coping with a lot... Everyone is like, " it's not ok to be abused as a child but it's up to you as an adult to fix it" and while that is true, is it not ok to be imperfect in this entire world anymore? Is it ok to be mid healing or do you just have to hide your healing and hide your imperfections because you know what? That's not healing. And sometimes there are bad days and coping with situations and still stuck in struggle to survive , so sometimes ppl get tired and we need to judge people not on one moment in time but rather a series of moments and events /chronic behsviors and a lack of remorse We also have to give other people some grace today in this crazy world which is very much disconnected from meeting our soul needs and so how does the saying go? It is healthy to not acclimate one self to an unhealthy society? It is good if you are not necessarily successful in this unhealthy society otherwise that means you probably have some degree of unhelpful mental health ... Our society rewards narcissists and we wonder why there are so many narcissists? I wonder what would happen if society started rewarding people not for competition and cut throat business sense but rather how empathic and compassionate or meek and humble a person is? If those are the traits that are the most "virtuous" why aren't we trying to reward those characteristics ?

Sadly I had to pass 30 years of age before I could clearly see my father was an emotional abuser. What an amazing freedom and healing.

Dr. Phil: “Who in your life do you have a uneasy feeling about?” Me: “the government”

@stephaniehall6309

2 жыл бұрын

Lol me too

@fortunecuki

2 жыл бұрын

Same.....

@deniseelsworth7816

Жыл бұрын

Dr Phil.

@jjjackson5183

Ай бұрын

Oh definitely. We ARE in an abusive relationship with the government.

@dorothycutler5539

Ай бұрын

So true

I’m dealing with a crazy coworker bent on making me look bad at work.

@elizabethr4107

Ай бұрын

I am so sorry 😞

@maridepp53

26 күн бұрын

I am too. I hope it has improved since then …. if not it may well be worth changing jobs. No job is worth your peace of mind.

@jenniferraymond9766

20 күн бұрын

Document everything for when the time comes for them to attempt to get you fired, cause they will. Keep in touch regularly with HR.

@saramcdowell4735

12 күн бұрын

I was fired because of people like you describe. I ended up with a job I loved a lot more. Hang in there, you’ll come out of this on top!

I like what he’s saying. No need to diagnose what type of cluster b your dealing with as they ALL can have traits of the whole spectrum. If they are cruel to you over a period of time, then they are a cruel person. That’s it!!!

@le_th_

Жыл бұрын

Long , long ago a website was created that gave friends and family members of Cluster B disordered people a list of 100 common traits and behavior they share. It's called out of the fog. About 6-7 years ago, when I first started doing a complete reading of the research and literature on Cluster B disorders, I bumped into a neuroscientist who told me not to both with distinguishing one cluster b disorder from another because they are all various forms of sociopathy. What distinguishes one from the other is what makes the behave like a sociopath. That was a total game changer for me, and free me up to really begin to see these people for what they are. It can be hard to imagine that there are people who walk among us who genuinely ENJOY harming others, but they actually do enjoy it. What's even harder are when these people are your parents, siblings, and grandparents. You just can't imagine that they would want to hurt you, but some of them savor it. We see it all the time on the evening news, some parents beating, torturing, starving, raping, and stealing from their own children. Sick, sick people.

@Ax.DaEdge

Жыл бұрын

Fullstop!!!!

@trishflorida4250

11 ай бұрын

​@le th Thank you, I just looked up Out of the fog.

@carolnahigian9518

11 ай бұрын

Baiters- wow Doctor Phil met sibling Kendra& Cousin Windbag

@PrincessSharifa434

11 ай бұрын

Yep, that’s it! That’s all you need to know!

After dealing with a Narcissistic family, I call that uneasy feeling "Narc-dar"!

If you are left with one friend or maybe two, consider yourself lucky. I have two awesome friends left after I walked away from my own family.,even my own kids. Trust your instincts and bravely walk away.

@donnaharris8097

10 ай бұрын

I have nobody ..I didn't realise my kids were Narcs , their father was one , I was so ill after he died , then they came after me having joined up with a group of others that I'd warned them about ! It felt like a nightmare , like I'd discovered a nest of vampires , how did I never see this .. .

Had a friend from grammar school, but as we got older, I noticed the little put down remarks in front of others, and say things behind my back, that I overlooked, until one last time in my house with our close friend. Finally mentioned to her later, but her written apology was turned around and blamed me. Sometimes you have to let certain people go, because they're not real friends.Thank you Dr Phil for this eye opening series that is so desperately needed.

My own family, Dr Phil. Many of them have these traits. My dad, 2 stepmothers and a half sister. I’ve had to get away from all of them. Also a couple of men I dated and an ex husband. I attract these types of people because of my parents/caregivers growing up. I now trust my intuition about people I meet.

@joefox9765

2 жыл бұрын

I had let my guard down too many times and thought that I attracted these types people. I have learned to live a different way and avoid such as much as possible. It is a great feeling. You do not attract these people most are just looking for victims. Be One and walk with Christ!

@ld3418

2 жыл бұрын

genetics more powerful than many think. grt grandfather on 1 side, grt grandmother on other, each produced a few thru 4 generations, both my parents and my son, some uncles, cousins. "We few, we happy few" must escape, grab the rest of. our short life left.

@rondanatan6198

2 жыл бұрын

Same here. Now they have all become exs

@Dwightinho56

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, yeah, yeah of course you know everything the best! I happen to know otherwise.

@lvluxdelight

Жыл бұрын

​@joe fox I love this.... very true

Five years ago I blocked every classmate from high school on fb. They only cared to continue what states of misery they were in from high school to present day. I don't even wonder about them until this video because they are the exact definition of a baiter. Keep your circle small very small, NEVER talk about anything but benign conversation if you cannot avoid them. If you only talk about the weather they can only blame you about the rain.

@bluegypsydoll

25 күн бұрын

And they will blame you for the rain 😂

I AGREE WITH THIS LIVING WITH A NARCISSIST FOR 40 YEARS. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE.

@mainowlin6176

2 жыл бұрын

I also have lived narcissist for a very long time. I also thought I was the only one as well. How could I have fallen for this person?

@karenvarner6743

2 жыл бұрын

@@mainowlin6176 I BELIEVE WE WERE MANIPULATED BY THE VERY BEST. MASTER MANIPULATORS IF YOU WILL. THEY MIRRORED US. ALSO I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY NEEDED TO BE EVERYTHING WE ARE AND THEY CAN'T BE. THEY'RE EVIL DOERS AND VERY COMFORTABLE DOING HORRIBLE THINGS. I AM CONVINCED I WAS TRICKED OVER AND OVER. NOT BECAUSE I WASN'T SMART ENOUGH BUT BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK LIKE HIM. HE IS LIGHT YEARS AHEAD IN THIS TWISTED MIND OF HIS . I JUST COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE COULDN'T CHANGE HIS WAY OF HURTING ME AND EVERYONE YES EVERYONE. BUT THEY CAN'T CHANGE. THIS IS WAY BEYOND ANYTHING WE ARE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND WE AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE SUFFERED FROM THESE MONSTERS. WE'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT. 🙋‍♀️

@raccuia1

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, when we come on YT it is an eye opener that there is a world full of good people who have similar stories of staring into the eyes of evil.

@karenvarner6743

2 жыл бұрын

@@raccuia1 AGREED

@jamesclark6487

Жыл бұрын

You elephant's toe is on your shift key.

Thank you. It’s hard when it’s a family member. But it’s a matter of survival when they threaten your life😩

I had 3 very toxic narscisstics for 25 years. It got so toxic my body got toxic ended up bed ridden, it's been 9 months now. I have separated, no contact. It is the most difficult thing to heal from. They wanted me dead. I am a light worker, empath, psychic, see future events, energy healer, and astro project. Beware all of you, who have these abilities they gravitate towards these kind of people. Beware of someone who has healed themselves. I am not a victim I am victorious, because what I have learned.

@kathydekievit4128

Жыл бұрын

Somehow I relate to what you said. I too have attracted toxic people. I have been revealed things about me that I still don’t understand. I know I am a hyper sensitive person(empath?). Since a child, I have answered peoples’s questions with out them saying anything or looking at them. I don’t know I’m doing it unless they tell me. A few people said they noticed something special about me (an Aura?). A few thought they saw a glow like an Angel, the look on their face confirmed it. I always replied “I’m no Angel”. Ironically I ended up with the last name as a “stage” name ….. Angel. Another great irony: my ex-husband and I were agnostic. My Son was an infertility Dr’s work. We finally decided we would call him Nathan. Later I looked up the meaning of that name, it is “gift of God”.

@mariekebootsma4346

Жыл бұрын

I have around toxic people. It affected my body. I will never complety heal. But now I know that I have to trust my gut feeling.

@RationalNon-conformist

3 ай бұрын

I would be very careful sharing that you are an empath, energy healer, etc.-some people will used this against you and call you an unaware narcissist.

30 years I dealt with this type of person. I have freed myself but I am afraid for my children that still have to be around him. Nothing I did or how hard I worked was ever enough. It's like living with your worst enemy.

@rio-wi1el

11 ай бұрын

Same here, they blind side you from nowhere, you do not see it coming, and even their children are fair game. they really are doing the devil's work.

@boogieuggie7865

11 ай бұрын

@@rio-wi1el I truly believe these type of people are demon possessed. Anyone that come across with them cannot live a peaceful life.

@margyeoman3564

20 күн бұрын

'Like living with your worst enemy.. ' so very well said. A very dangerous association.

My sister has been a baiter and narcissist to me my whole life. We have the same parents but my dad raised her to feel she was better than me because I lived with my mother and she live with him. When we grew up and she saw me accomplishing more than her she went into envy mode. Everyone around us seen it from a child. I see it so clear as an adult. You named everything you have done to me. Your Narcissist video was spot on too. My sister never wanted me to accomplish anything, but everything I do she copy.

@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih

2 ай бұрын

Me Too

@zoespiteri5034

Ай бұрын

Oh me too my sister hates me and only because I'm not allowed to be smarter than her. Aren't sisters supposed to love you and feel your happiness or sadness. Instead she just hates me. Just knows she can pull my strings but BUT NOT ANYMORE.

There should be a law against Narcissistic people taking innocent people to court for things they were doing . These people need locked 🔒 up in prison for doing this .

I threw all these people out of my life along with my narcissistic ex. Very freeing.

I have come across SO many people within my lifetime that have done every one of those things. This is all so true!

@loriraemorris4142

2 жыл бұрын

So weird. You look like me.

@donnahaynes4563

2 жыл бұрын

@@loriraemorris4142 they say that we all have a twin somewhere!

@kathrynhayden9298

Жыл бұрын

It seems like so many with me also. Do I send off some weird vibes or something?

This was my family. I walked away. My dead husband was this way. He lost control when I filed for divorce. He then committed suicide. I have very few people around me because of this reason. I trust very few people because of this and other actions. I trust my instincts more then anything. If your gut feeling tells you something is wrong it usually it. We have a repairman that leaves an uneasy feeling. I did tell the landlord. He does try to send someone else. This person reminds me of my father in the worst possible way. He brings up memories I got past. I deal it the best I can when he has to come.

@name5876

Жыл бұрын

Repairman has to lose a job because of your trauma? Do you realize he's not part of your life, you're not supposed to like him, you simply buy his expertise? What's next, you try to eliminate people in the park because they have bad vibes? That's the exact problem with these videos, they make some people irrational and see the devil everywhere.

@Thewonderingminds

11 ай бұрын

@@name5876 Up until Christ becomes life light, in darkness one can only imagine.

@mistiroberts1576

Ай бұрын

​@name5876 That's not fair- if people make you uncomfortable they make you uncomfortable and you shouldn't have to have people in your house that make you feel that way- especially if you're alone with them. There is a such thing as intuition and if someone creeps you out there could be a good reason for it. In fact I had a tenant who creeped me out and I would never let him in my house to pay rent. Then he moved and it turned out he was a crackhead with so many roaches in his house we had to have an exterminator come 4 times.

Thank you. I can relate to what you say. I have family members that are narcissistic & threatened my life. I’ve cut them out finally. Has not been easy😩

I was married to someone exactly like this for 10 years. Had no idea what I was in until I couldn’t take it anymore. Educated myself and my abusive marriage finally made sense on how crazy the ex Narc really was. Thank you Dr. Phil

@LethoHali

2 жыл бұрын

It was 20 years for me.

@tracieflesher5181

2 жыл бұрын

@@LethoHali I’m not sure how you could’ve made it that long. I was going crazy at 10 years. Your one strong person !!

@Rose-ez2fm

2 жыл бұрын

@@tracieflesher5181 32 years, I guess I am stronger than I think.

@maryambrose8466

2 жыл бұрын

32 years. And he’s right.. I denied my internal feelings about the character of this person. The Best description.. imposters.. that’s the hardest one to see. Imposters.. words don’t match the behaviors.. and they know it.. even when they are busy hiding them. Denial of ourselves .. keeps them in business

@sweetpeaqueen1788

2 жыл бұрын

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. To everyone here who have commented.

We must accept that the greatest bullies in our lives will be several of our family members IF NOT ALL of them. IF anyone is going to use or sabotage us it's going to be several of the people within our very own family. I've seen plenty of the nonsense, the over-acted fake joy and the tearless melodramatic crying.

@margyeoman3564

20 күн бұрын

Careless people, no self awareness, just awareness of you! Very sad to victims of these types of people.

I have no one in my life that I can trust. Everyone that I have allowed into my life have abused me, including my own kids. I do not have people in my life anymore because of it.

@LimitlessThinker

9 ай бұрын

I understand. Same here.

@user-ro2gf7pf8n

Ай бұрын

Sorry. Hope it gets better fir you. My significant relationships emotional liver my son etc have all been walking out of my life simultaneously lately out of my life leaving me emotionally devastated and very confused.

@user-ro2gf7pf8n

Ай бұрын

Excuse all my typos lately. For, emotional lover etc..

God! This feels like almost everyone these days! Even the folks that are victims aspire to be like the narcissists!

@kathrynhayden9298

Жыл бұрын

It’s scary to think that there are more people who make us uneasy than there are people with whom we are comfortable both currently and historically. As though there is pattern. I know that I happiest when I’m alone.

@calilovebug3897

Ай бұрын

​@kathrynhayden9298 we should get together and see if we make each other uneasy. Lol I've been thinking I'm one of the good ones. But who knows.

@americawaters4257

15 күн бұрын

​@@calilovebug3897Lol

I have an amazing instinct for reading people rather quickly. I will literally ignore them if they are in my presence, as if they are invisible. If i have to come right out and tell them to leave me alone, I do. Then I start documenting if they continue to try to bait me, or suck me into their drama crap. I didn't come here to play with people like that. The more you let them know they aren't in your circle, the easier it gets to push them on out.

@jodizellmer994

11 ай бұрын

Very well said! Some people would call it being paranoid, but I call it being smart. Shows that you aren't so easy to manipulate.

So many people commenting how for them it's their family. It was mine as well. WAS being the operative word here. I cut ties years ago and wish I had done it years before I did-it would have saved a lot of head and heartaches, not to mention a TON of money. I can't imagine treating somebody this way :( Life is too short folks-make your own family out of people who have good hearts. It makes all the difference. While I cut ties entirely, my husband distanced himself significantly from his family as it was a similar dynamic. We're both so much happier and our marriage is healthier without the negative influences in our lives. Be GOOD to yourselves, people!

2 Timothy Chapter 3

The planet is full of them these days. Losing situation.

@cyberninjasworld

2 жыл бұрын

I know

@cyberninjasworld

2 жыл бұрын

Im actually starting an online school for Young Women to understand love bombing

@Scott-nr2ji

Жыл бұрын

Yet they pretend like it just happened that way (as if you had something to do with it, God forbid you don't play along with their evil game they snuck upon you anymore out of nowhere) even though they were the instigator.

Dr. Phil , my observations agree with yours . Also, I think the hardest thing for people to face is that the behaviors you mention are intentional , because good normal sane people would never dream of acting like that , it is very hard to imagine some doing it, specially if they are parents or other family members. Also I have came to the conclusion that "narcissistic " parents sabotage their children lives on purpose because they look at life as a contest/competition that they have to win at any cost.

It’s downright epidemic. I have gone full no contact with so many of them it’s ridiculous. In the small community of older folks I live in, there are 3 out of 20.

@cyberninjasworld

2 жыл бұрын

I know, :(

@marieke74

2 жыл бұрын

True !

@kathrynhayden9298

Жыл бұрын

Same here.

Living in an environment where there is a split between love and hate (being resented and hated by my sister for existing, and hated and resented by my father for asking questions and being curious), it creates this unavoidable trigger with people that at some point, you know they are going to hate you, so you pick people that overtly hate you (at least, I did, until this became too painful and I chose to be alone all the time and hide within myself). I felt like the shittiest person for the longest time because I was afraid to love someone for the fear that I would switch on them and hurt them (and I do think this has happened before, and I have no subconscious control over it, so I end up losing feeling at all and leave). It's taken several years of intensive and intentional self- therapy (and I started with talk therapy with a lisenced therapist) and writing and releasing unexpressed pain into the ether, just so I can be safe in my body and not attack my mind when I feel it shifting, and instead, follow the flow until I recogize the thought process (assess if it is valid and helpful, or invalid and destructive) or emotional flow (and allow myself to connect to it, understand where it is coming from and releasing it safely). It's kind of like having feral animals living in your psyche that attach at will.

I think of my mother and sister and I feel sick to my stomach. Every my downfall gives them a booster. I cut them off, yet they keep sneaking around.

@raccuia1

2 жыл бұрын

Keep that door bolted tight. Total no contact.

@gladiammgtow4092

Жыл бұрын

Same for my Farher and sister. Went full no comtact 9 years ago, best move ever.

I had a person who I thought was my friend, I confided in them & they in me, I was preparing to leave a country I had had spent nine years in, not because I wanted to but because I had no real choice at the time & on our last meeting they said the most cruel & hurtful thing they could think to say to me, based on their assumptions about my situation, it was almost as if they wanted to see me leave with my tail between my legs, instead of with my head held high. This was almost three years ago & it still hurts when I think about it. The thing is with back stabbers is you don’t always see it coming .

Had to recently cut off a 10 year friendship...was so heartbreaking, but I noticed she changed towards me and I saw a side of her that I hadn't before.Especially in the last few years I always felt sad after visits together...realizing how she'd made little put down comments towards me, comparing me to other friends of hers...she pressured me into taking her places...and guilted me about different things...I was the friend with a car and she wanted rides here and there... and she acted jealous of the time I spent with my daughter...she didn't seem to respect me and I caught her lying to me about things she'd said...mind games...not good. After I showed boundaries she didn't bother with me...it showed she was just using me for all those years...so sad.🥺💔

@annem2922

2 жыл бұрын

You are not alone Heather. Manipulators target both the vulnerable & strong people. If it were another person in your place with a car, your “friend” would have still manipulated them. She is a very unhappy person. You will be okay in time 💙💙💙

@heatherdawnpoetry4047

2 жыл бұрын

@@annem2922 awwww...thanks so much for your comment Anne. Words so true...she often remarked to me about all the things her other best friends do for her...to pressure and guilt me. My daughter believes it's probably all made up to manipulate me...so sad to not know what a friend should be...thanks for your encouragement towards me.I do feel so much better not being used...a good way to finish up the year.❤🤗❤😎

@annem2922

2 жыл бұрын

@@heatherdawnpoetry4047 Your daughter is right Heather. Guilt tripping, comparing us with others is manipulation. My Father was an extremely generous man, and of course he met with users but he didn’t let that discourage him. He told me that those who steal from us, steal from themselves. Much like whatever we sow in others is what we reap. People may think oooh I duped her, but in the real sense they duped themselves. It’s an interesting spiritual law. Yes 2022 😃, we will be prudent and discern who is genuine and who doesn’t deserve our energy.

@heatherdawnpoetry4047

2 жыл бұрын

@@annem2922 yes...words so true. People don't get away with using others in the end. I'm getting older and wiser.It's better to have maybe just one friend that really cares...much better.❤😎❤😎

@beasaroseco5840

Жыл бұрын

She didn't act jealous she WAS jealous. Congratulations on your new freedom. Now you have room for a REAL friend.

This is the definition of My husband's Siblings.. I can't stand them. It's been 3 yrs now I haven't been around them. It's been so Lovely when you don't have to Deal with Evil people

I feel like the ones who are really good at it, the master baiters, are the ones you have to watch out for.

@Ronsquaremy

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@alhall6219

2 жыл бұрын

Are u implying something with that combination of words?

@cherylkingsbury1788

2 жыл бұрын

Master baiters. I jus dumpd this toxic evil nightmare never heard the word nacicist. I'm free now goin on my new journey. Ty I have a strong Higher Power I'm blessed. And eager to learn. Im a loyal Dr Phil. Fan he. has changed my life for better every time he speaks 👍👍up Dr Phil hugs. Thank you

@Scott-nr2ji

Жыл бұрын

How DARE you use that horrible language?!?! (Just kidding, it''s a great double entendre, either way. Yet it's a great metaphor for what a waste of time those pot stirring types are)

@Scott-nr2ji

Жыл бұрын

@@alhall6219 The internet has been invaded by horrible people. Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump will unite to save us from these types!

Ive gotten so tired of shitty people that ive isolated myself and am down to 2 friends,kids gkids. Every now and then ill get a partner but they never work out.

I think its not only important to be aware of it in others but more importantly in ourselves.

That's wild how this not only all describes my wife to the T... but I felt for years like she intentionally tries to bait me into being upset. The pain is real... im actually looking forward to this next episode

So many people are narcissistic, it’s really sad, some people had terrible childhoods. Narcissism is a defensive self preservative disease, but ultimately it is so lonely for these people. Most of my family are incredibly narcissistic but I just feel sorry for them now that I get older , I’m so relieved I’m not life them

True, the back stabber are sly and double faced. They take what they need from one while harassing you at your neighbors. They know you well enough to fake their friendship with you while their intention is to spread believable lies about you.

My ex-husband, who is a malignant narcissist, actually defined the term ‘gaslighting’ to me, to my face. Sadly, he’s also part of Mensa. It was rough; I’m happy I’m out and getting well.

These awful personality traits seem generational. And no matter what you try to do to make things less stressful, it doesn't matter. These folks are dangerous. Run for your life, literally!

@mariekebootsma4346

Жыл бұрын

I believe that s the only thing you can do: run, so fast as you can. I thought I can defend myself towards them. But somehow they break, and all you resistente is gone.

Hi Dr. Phil. Thank you for what you’re doing here it’s extremely vital what you’re doing. This abuse is largely hidden from view and you explain it so clearly that anyone can learn from it. Thank you 🙏

Uneasy about mother brother and ex husband all abusers at 48 I am tired

@uyoebyik

2 жыл бұрын

I've gone no contact with my entire family network. I had to

I just had two of these types of women try to sabotage my business. Both of them covered in tattoos. I just read a study on people who are covered in tattoos. The study distinguished between people who were covered in 25% or less of their body in tattoos and people who were covered 25% or more. 25% or more are often narcissistic, sociopathic, masochistic. Beware of these folks. The two women I'm talking about hooked on to each other quickly and started with the toxic gossip and backstabbing. Now, they're slamming me online and getting people who have never met me or have been to my business to post 1-star reviews about my business. Some are the parents...the enablers. And, yes, the uneasy feeling built up the more I started seeing signs of them trying to take over. I would like to learn how to get these people gone early without setting them off. How does one do that?

I am proud to say i have 0 people like that in my life. I used to think im too sensitive, even a bit antisocial perhaps. But now i realise - i have a gift. I'm a great judge of character, i always listen to my gut and i have zero tolerance for toxic bs in my life. My husband, my family & my friends truly want the best for me as do i for them.

Having lived with them,it was clear they saw me as a rival in every situation.Also,everyone else was a rival to them.If we are forced to deal with them,what can we do?Not everyone has the money or opportunity to get away from baiters.

Your helping more then you know . I had to walk away from blood family ++++++ more for peace .. not down .

Lessons learned late in life. A strong person otherwise I wouldn't be here. You remind me so much of my deceased dad. Finding the resources to fix my situations have been trying. Multiple things and finding the right doors to open. My son's name is also Phillip. Have followed you for years. Trying to trust my gut to navigate it all. I am essentially responsible for my two children and all household responsibilities etc... I am grateful you put this out there for guidance. I truly had my blinders on and attracted alot of toxic people. Married to one and the exit strategy my turning point. Known person 27 years and maried for 26 years. Truly, didn't know the person and ignored my initial hunch of this person. Last few years person entirely different. Setting more boundaries. Have always done that. Person a good sales person with bs promises and has lied in all dealings with me. Now punished with silence tantrums, financial control etc... A Covert Narcissist which it took me this long to see the full picture...Ouch ! The person has no empathy or love in his heart. All has been an act. 😇🕊😪

@slopez1901

Жыл бұрын

I’m married to the same exact person!!!! How did you get away from him??? HELP

Deeply grateful for all these ongoing discussions...so much baiting at the work place

@gladiammgtow4092

Жыл бұрын

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

I can't begin to tell you how helpful this message is. Thank you Dr. Phil for sharing your life experience.

@christnisbet6837

2 жыл бұрын

I met the smartest sneakiest of my life and they had me in their web for a year. Until I finally had to stop trying for someone didn't even really want me, just what I could help with. Cold as ice

It's NEVER TOO LATE to leave with your LIFE while you can!

So true , lost my family. But for the good ! They don't change! They make you sick. If I now this information long time ago in live . My live would be so much better. Thank you dr.phil . 🥰💯🙏

I agree. I see a continuum, not just Narcissism on a continuum but the whole Cluster-B +psychopathy are all on the same continuum. I would say the Cluster-B is a continuum. A person can move back and forth between Narcissism, Borderline, Histrionic and Antisocial depending on the current environmental factors they're experiencing. Extremely confident little to no neuroticism =factor 1 Psychopathy. Feeling down, depressed, failed too many times =vulnerable narcissism. Low on admirers, need to recruit more= overt. Angry, feeling numb, need danger and excitement to wake them up =Antisocial.

@organicforlife597

Жыл бұрын

You're absolutely right 💯

I weeded the garden so-to-speak. It included "friends" and family. Takes courage and conviction, but its necessary for mental health and to have the freedom to be yourself. Rip yourself away from these nasty, loveless a-holes that have no business being in your life.

@JenniferNewLife144

12 күн бұрын

Yes !!

Frightening that this is the exact description of one of my sisters who I have banned from mine and my husband’s life because she continually tries to sabotage our life. Not allowed any longer. I told her so. She said if I want to speak to her, I have to say please Kathy. I laughed my head off. I said you have never and will never control me because you think you have power. Not now or ever! She said goodbye bitch and hung up. I said I am not going to end my last conversation with her with her disrespecting me so I opened my Bible to the very best scripture that would shock her. I haven’t heard from her since. There is no place in our lives for for such an evil creature. I am not naive though, we’re watching our backs. Best to you and yours Dr. Phil. Matthew and Kim

@maxinedavieds6104

2 ай бұрын

She thinks she’s punishing you with the silent treatment, I’ve been there.

I used to love scary stories, I found them irresistible and thrilling..I didnt believe they were real..like the boogeyman or the guygooter..so it seemed fun....then i learned how wrong I was...THEY ARE REAL and they will get you . ... Married to my monster over 25 years. Yes, I say monster. I loved him, my barely grown children finally said mama you dont have to live like this anymore you held on till we were grown, leave him. Go! you deserve to be happy....we hurt, for you. That did it, the next time he discarded me, yes the cycle went round and round ..I left and I stayed gone...it was like someone ripped open my chest and murdered everything I ever hoped for, prayed about, dreamed of, and fought for. My life was dead. I drug my wounded bleeding self away, and found a place to try and heal. NO self respect, NO self-worth No self-confidence, barely a shred of my faith, my home, some family, friends...even my dog,most of my treasured items, he destryed things from favorite restaurants all the way to family celebrations..I was bashed, lied about, called every ugly name you could imagine, I was blamed, shunned, pitied, lied to, used, stolen from, screamed at stalked, ridiculed, tortured, thrown out like trash., and I almost lost my life ,by my own hand or his. But..I survived because I stayed gone. i am stronger, look 15 years younger, lost weight, taking care of myself, have a positive support group, have been learning who I am and finding out what she wants. I am more than just okay, in fact freedom from him has given me the chance to do something meaningful in my life..instead of fussing fighting trying failing, falling, misery, tears ,pain and violence (mental emotional and spiritual.) dark hopeless existence that was mine. ... while theres still time. The light feels good...no contact..NO CONTACT..because I know if I do...the monster might get me ..I am always looking over my shoulder because I have this gut feeling that its not about If he will, or if he might..its about how, and when he does and being ready for it. I wont poke him, or provoke him, i wont contact him at all..but I wont hide from him either..i like the light too much. .im just going to wait and pretend he doesnt exist.

My Son seems he has turned out like his father. We are in the same house together and I am stuck because of money. Everyday is a struggle

My wife was a master baiter…. Hahahahaha, but in all seriousness, she baited me like crazy and personality completely flipped years later, all my fault of course. Jekyll and Hyde 100%, would never even communicate what the issues were with me.

@Lululila67

Жыл бұрын

she was a master bater?

Some people have been perfecting this behavior throughout their entire lives. They have learned to master these games. Never let a master baiter get too close to you.

Thank you Dr. Phil for sharing all of this information. I have an itty bitty Associates in Psychology, but I am currently raising my severely abused stepdaughter that was raised by a mother that is clearly unstable. The child has approximately 5 diagnoses and I am so overwhelmed. I can say that it is a most HORRIBLE situation and I am always looking for answers. You are truly helping me understand better about people's intentions, and also teaching me how to navigate this tough situation. You are truly appreciated kind Sir ❤

@evydarling

2 жыл бұрын

I was your stepdaughter; my narc and unstable mother tried to kill me when I was 5 or 6. And, of course, as a result of my extreme childhood trauma and abuse, I made very poor choices as a young adult, particularly in relationships. But that was then. Now, I am healing. We are so fortunate today to have resources about healing trauma that prior generations did not have. She is in good hands with you as her stepmom. I feel for you during this difficult time, but know your stepdaughter will (hopefully) grow into a self-aware woman with incredible inner strength and resilience. I know I did. Where there is love and support, there is hope. 🌱

@laurafeher9694

2 жыл бұрын

Remain strong...see if your dear stepdaughter shows an interest in yoga. It helped me go forward

@lisadodson-newton8525

2 жыл бұрын

@@laurafeher9694 oh we definitely do yoga 😊❤

My husband is a baiter. He dresses up for work & acts differently to everyone else but when he comes home he is a psychopath. 10 years I have paid his bills & he tells everyone that he does. He takes the credit for all the work I did. He is emotionally, mentally, physically abusive. Then denies it, "that never happened!" He doesn't even have a bill in his name! Christmas is herrendous, he yells, screams, insults me especially before we go out into public. He is a different person in private vs. who he presents in public daily.

@karishort1891

2 жыл бұрын

The moment you leave him your entire life will change for the better. I left 1 month ago and although I have other mountains to climb, the relief I feel from being away from this monster is just incredible. I hope someday you find your path away from him 🙏

@carobutterfli2537

2 жыл бұрын

You need an exit plan. He does not enhance your life. He hinders it.

@bfisherful

2 жыл бұрын

Exit plan and secretly record his rage and bait him in confession or admitting you pay the bills. Use it, for court and if you have to otherwise.

@jandavison7288

2 жыл бұрын

Get out. Stay out

@raccuia1

2 жыл бұрын

You have a broken sense of self. That is why you keep going back to him for external validation. Isn't it time you stopped being a fool and get to work and remove this evil. It blows my mind all the fools that come on here and tell what we already know and yet stay with these non humans. Get off your bottom, get to work, make the exit plan TODAY and IMPLEMENT IT!!!! Sheesh.

I happen to have a neighbor who enjoys provoking myself and others into anger. Then, when the neighbor is confronted, this individual will turn it around and play victim and gets away with it!!!! 😡. Sooooo frustrating!!!!. 😡.

@marciloni12

Жыл бұрын

I too have one like that!! She's like a little naughty brat! She just keeps prodding and provoking. I just ignore but have taken proper routes to try to enjoy my property.

@cheri4939

Жыл бұрын

@@marciloni12 Thank you for y reply. I'm sorry you are having to endure this. My neighbor is now beginning to harm her target's animals by kicking and scaring them as she walkes by when she knows no one is looking , including mine.😾

Love listening to your wise words. Thankfully I'm a pretty good judge of character but have let my guard down on a couple of occasions in the last year and very nearly got taken in by a baiter or two. I quickly reset my boundaries and put up that iron curtain. I won't tolerate even an inch of these people. They're dangerous. Sadly, seems there are so many amongst us these days. Keep yourself to yourself and embrace the world of inner peace. Its so good.

"I don't think borderline personality and narcissism are distinct personality disorders". Thank you!

@eriktabbers3599

3 ай бұрын

They are very much personality disorders. What else would you call it? 😮

My husband of 19 years married 23 years together is a covert narc and his whole family. Mom dad brother and 2 sisters are clueless to what truly is happening in our world. 2020 spiritual connection for me but they think I am crazy.

In my work circle is a colleague who is a toxic narcissist. She brags that she is glorified by management (she isn't), talks about others, and begs for social media connections /access. She has no idea that some are onto her. Very uneasy feeling from day 1.

Dr Phil just coined the phrase "BAITERS" that encompass a group of people to avoid that I now will use

Thank you Dr.Phil, because sometimes you think you know someone ...you do not !

I am now acknowledging my mistake as well. Keep giving to someone without reciprocity can be as bad. Sometimes though you just don’t see it when you truly love the person. You try to be too patient and too understanding but they lose respect totally for you.

I was married to someone like this for 23 years without me knowing. In the beginning of our marriage, my husband was fine and looked perfect. Years later in our marriage, that's when I started noticing that my husband had borderline personality disorder, paranoid schizophrenic and narcissist. My husband would blame me for everything and he only cared about himself. My husband was trying to make me fail and he emotionally abused me. He was definitely a taker, always about him. I left this marriage. I also was in two different toxic work environments. I left those jobs because of the toxic work environments.

Love you Dr Phil..thank you for keeping it very real! ...for the last 5 years of my life I have walked away and gone no contact with everyone who were baiters including my entire family of origin..should have done it much earlier but hard lesson learned and never forgotten....💜

The smell of sweet freedom. Something in my dreams.

I have a mom who is a Narc and I have BPD and they are very different. My mom has never cried that I have seen or heard about about I cry like I am grieving a loss everyday. They way we see the world is very different but the way other BPD talk I understand them and why they did what they did. My mom isn't afraid of abandonment it is my number 1 problem. She thinks people are lucky to be around her, I think every is judging me and I am failing. My mom baits me but I have never done that. NPD and BPD look different, have different needs, and feel every different. Most of the time I think you are helpful about things but since you don't know what these conditional feels like you can only talk about it vaguely.

I like the way you enjoy telling us your instincts. You right on target with the inlaws, work, family,

I have been protected by our good God. If we would say our prayers and follow the 10 commandments things are so much easier! Remember what you are worth! You are made in Gods image!

@laurafeher9694

2 жыл бұрын

Beautiful post I'm very grateful to agree with you

Thank you, Dr. Phil! Your succinct description of these people, explanation of behaviours and deliberate speech is so refreshing and makes this topic so easy to understand. My awareness of these people is growing. THANK YOU!

I noticed that their sense of entitlement is over the top.

My definition of BAITERS: BS’rs , Asinine, Immature, Terrible, Egomaniac, Reckless, Sanctimonious 🎯

@fatima5959

2 жыл бұрын

Amazing 😻 good one ❤️

This is good stuff.. I have always had a list of people in my head that give me that uneasy feeling.. Dis-ease..

Thank you for these great informative podcasts. I learned about Narcissism the hard way, after getting involved in a relationship with one. I learn more and more each time I listen to your podcasts.

Answer to the question: Everybody! 😒 I'm a Narc magnet. That's what i grew up with and never knew the "healthy family values" so i always settled for what was familiar. I hope to change that by educating myself so i recognise the red flags in the future. Unfortunately this world and age is full of narcs and hard to find real honest people nowadays... 😣

Thank you Dr. Phil!!! Mind blowing realization. 🙏🙏

My personnel opinion ,we all have someone around us like this ,Dr Phil explains it clearly ,We cant ignore it.

Boom. Great content right here. 🙌🏻

We see many of these types in the competitive workplace.

Thank you Dr Phil! It's good to have your input to clarify things.

When a parent outright has a problem with their adult daughter having a well paying career and believes they know better that their daughter should be a submissive wife when it's none of their business, when a parent sends your awful emails guilting you for not wanting to see them when they were cruel and nasty at random, when a parent texts your husband and you like nothing happens, honestly, this is not a life. I feel like I am living a nightmare that is just getting worse.

@jillroberts4358

2 жыл бұрын

Try and maintain your centre at all costs. You have a great career, loving husband Congratulations. Blessing is they are no longer living under the same roof 💖

@raccuia1

2 жыл бұрын

You have to block them from calling you or emailing you or your husband. Also, I would recommend being pro active at work and warning the boss and others that if the parent tries to contact them and spread nasty rumours about you that she is a psychopath that is trying to ruin you. Get in first. If you still allow them to contact you then the question is why? What are you wanting? Because whatever it is you will only get destruction.

This is excellent content. Got me thinking.

Wow, came across this when I've been thinking about this and what/ who to stay away from as best possible. Thank you, I appreciate and value your insight and knowledge

100%. Terrific take~I agree. I knew very little about any if this vast topic 10 years ago. I have been researching, studying and on an extensive deep dive the last 5 years and maybe the last 2, feel I have some sort of bearings on the veneer of these disorders-I learned, finally, in my 50’s after exposure almost destroyed the very fiber of my Soul, to start using practical assessments like you are describing. Excellent.