I saw a commenter called -- call the "gaslighting" "blameshift" and i feel like that was a word that really describes this situation!

I appreciate Kirk’s final statement that Katie and Greg both suffered from Greg’s attachment wounds. It’s compassionate toward him while validating her

Gaslighting in modern media I think means making someone feel crazy by denying their truth repeatedly. Turning the script, if you will.

My take, for what it is worth, is that Katie was "falling for" Blake and Greg at the same time. And she was waiting for a moment of clarity on who was the "one", whether it was from them meeting her family or having alone time with them in the fantasy suites. Greg just gave her that clarity sooner than she expected. She probably realized they weren't compatible in their fighting/communication styles and that she didn't want a partner that was going to continually walk away from her when things got tough. And Blake was always there for her. The fight with Greg probably made her appreciate the qualities Blake had been showing her throughout the season and made it that much easier to fall in love with Blake.

"I'm utterly confused by this audience." You and me both 😂

I was in an abusive relationship where my therapist told me I was experiencing gaslighting, I was genuinely very confused about what was and was not really going on. I would see something, but then he would convince me I was remembering it wrong, and I loved him and didnt understand why he would lie, so I believed him and doubted myself. I agree with you 1000000% people use the word too freely now and it does diminish the serious abuse people experience.

I think when ppl use the word “gaslighting” they mean that someone is lying with the intent to manipulate someone. I don’t use the word though so I might be wrong, but that’s how I’ve interpreted the meaning when ppl use it

My dad would accuse my mother of being a psycho or crazy for years whenever they argued, would make everything out to be her fault and her mental health got worse and he would point it out as proof of her instability, I considered that gaslighting…although the term wasn’t as well known back then

“Maybe He could convince her and the clapping audience 😂…”

A better term would be Blame Shifting perhaps.

You should watch the podcast with Nick Viall and Greg. They get into really great questions and I understand so much more about Greg. It's enlightening for sure.

Kirk, as a linguist I think you're spot on in your analysis of how the public discourse is changing a word to overpower a previously overused word.

Also an important note- there is recorded proof that Greg has applied to two prior bachelorette seasons which makes things clear that he knows exactly how this show goes.

Linguist here! I like the comment suggesting the term "blameshift" as a replacement for gaslighting in Katie's context, but I also think people's tendency to latch onto buzzwords very reactively on the internet has cause the word "gaslight" to lose its specificity and become sort of a catchall term for whenever someone feels like another person is mistreating them (literally in any type of way at all). Words of course change over time as Dr. Honda has mentioned, but I think because people like to play armchair psychologist on social media, especially during fraught emotional periods in our culture (like now), glomming onto certain trendy buzzwords as a "gotcha" tactic to win battles of wits and shut down other people's arguments, "gaslighting" has gotten warped on a larger scale and more quickly than less internet-y forms of language change. It's a shame because, as Dr. Honda said, "gaslighting" is a useful word for a specific experience and with a specific etymology. People can look up the 1938 play "Gas Light" to learn more. Love your videos, Dr. Honda!

It would be so awesome if Katie and Greg would watch your reaction videos! I wonder if it would have helped them to see things differently.

Gaslighting is distorting someone's reality. "It didn't happen that way" "You're overreacting" "I never said that"

Dr. Honda Greg said on another Podcast that watching every thing back, made him realize that it was not the healthiest sort of love and that he has gone back to therapy. Apparently I was in therapy for an extensive period after his fathers death.

On a podcast, Greg talked about how he did go to therapy right after his father passed away and created a good relationship with that therapist. Unfortunately, a few months later his therapist was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently passed away too... So yeah I think everyone should definitely be worried about Greg...

This commentary is on point! A lack of self awareness can obscure intent. I have encountered this in relationships when my partner misrepresented themselves but it wasn't driven by manipulation. It was a lack of self awareness. Unfortunately if that person doesn't stop and evaluate their own words and actions they are likely to plow ahead and hurt someone else.

I'm amazed by how often I'm judging people like Greg. Until you enlighten us to why these schemas exist in people. Then suddenly I relate to their experience and I'm learning about myself. Maybe you could analyse Gregs interview with Nick Viall where Greg talks with more self awareness. ❤