I love the late Dr Claire Weekes idea of practicing FLOATING through the anxiety or panic rather than FIGHTING through it. Fighting only adds more tension, whereas floating through it (letting it be there, and letting time pass) takes the terror out of it.

@AJLangford

Ай бұрын

Ive got her book. I couldnt agree more. I think it's the best solution. Tried many things and this is the only thing that really works for me.

Yes. I’m making myself agoraphobic. Avoiding driving, avoiding walking the dog. I’m not living life anymore. What if you feel like you’ll have a panic attack?

@mday3821

4 ай бұрын

If you feel like your going to have a panic attack, find something in the room to focus on. When you have a panic attack remember to take deep breaths and focus on that object. Eventually, find an image in your mind that makes you feel comfortable...At peace & when you have a panic attack you will be able to focus on that image. This is a long process, but I have found it helpful. I wish you healing and pray you get your life back.❤

@JuliePike820

4 ай бұрын

@@mday3821thank you for your advice & insight. I’ll try that. I need to do something, my life is getting narrower & narrower by the day.

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

Hi! I do have two videos on panic attacks coming out next week, so stay tuned. And panic attacks, avoidance and anticipatory anxiety are all connected. In the meantime, grounding exercises are super helpful. There are a number of videos on this on YT. Here's one of mine: kzread.info/dash/bejne/Z6aTmZuDg6vcn7Q.html

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

@mday3821 I agree focusing on objects in the room can be helpful! Thank you for sharing. I often suggest to find three things that are blue, then three things that are red... (or whichever colors you decide, but I'd decide ahead of time!). Other grounding techniques can also be helpful. All the best!

@JuliePike820

4 ай бұрын

@@BarbaraHeffernanthank you for sharing & I’ll look out for those videos. I appreciate everything you do.

Okay, someone has to say it: I'm glad you didn't title this "Avoiding Anxiety Avoidance."

Very useful exposure to challenging situations do help me avoiding them makes me more anxious.

I wish I had the confidence and fortitude to take the steps necessary to address this. It feels like i am in an avoidance prison and there really is no way out.

@exgeeinteractive

12 күн бұрын

The only way out of that cycle I think, is facing it head on. I'm on the stage of facing it (not fighting) and accepting uncertainty. It's really hard I tell you, I still get this paralyzing feeling of my son getting sick, or anticipating the worse if he gets sick. The past trauma of losing my father and grandparents to cancer really took me to bits. I drown myself on Social Media, taking really long walks and day dreaming but they kept things worse. I'm starting small by rethinking a goal in life, making a routine and schedule (and sticking to it). These traits are very unlikely of me but I've got to at least try and get my shit straight. I'm tired of running away. Uncertainty is scary, but getting out of my comfort zone if the only way out of this anxious mess.

@richardwilsonavena

12 күн бұрын

@@exgeeinteractive THanks. I am there too. I feel like the explorer who has all the fancy gear, safety equipment, headlamps etc but I just cant take the first step into the cave.

@exgeeinteractive

12 күн бұрын

@@richardwilsonavena I've made the first step into the cave and let me tell you that it feels dreadful 🤣. Anxiety is still lingering in my mind and it's coming from all directions but I think I've accepted the fact that it's better than escape. I'd like to say that I've stepped into the light but it's more like getting out of a quicksand. It's a struggle alright but that's the only way to get out.

I finally faced my fear of flying this Saturday just passed, 1 hour each way back and forth, terrified on the first takeoff that I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack, wanted nothing more than to get off a plane which I have no escape from, but I let go and coming back was sooo much better, now looking back it was worth the stress and extreme discomfort to be able to face a fear and come out the other side

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom in such an easy to understand way. To the point and relatable. You condensed and distilled my churning suspicions. Now if I can only get my son to listen to it.

I het light-headed with anxiety. No wonder it's too hard to get into traffic for me. I'm ok in my suburb of low traffic and no traffic lights. I'm not confident I can overcome it...been 20 years now. Also before the panic attack at traffic lights, I had actually fainted from low Iron due to coeliac disease.

I’ve had anxiety at varying levels my entire life - I would say from toddlerhood onward! The explanation of the rewarded puppy is such a clear and easy way to understand that that temporary avoidance relief really isn’t what it appears to be and we unwittingly make the situation worse. Thank you for verbalizing that so well. Found your channel a couple days ago and will be gladly exploring all it has to offer.

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

I'm so pleased that analogy resonated for you! Welcome to my channel and I truly hope it is helpful for you!

I avoid things a lot because usually I’m going to have to talk to someone and “bother” them and I’ve already prethought how the whole conversation will go becoming more and more uncomfortable so the YAY moment happens when I don’t do it. BUT later on, the tiny fingers of even more worry creep in about avoiding whatever, so then sadness comes. I’ve pushed myself thru and felt such gratitude that I didn’t avoid it and the feeling like wow that wasn’t that bad, but it doesn’t seem to make my avoidance stop in future!?! I completely understand and could be a hermit. I like watching your videos about narcissism because I have been with one for 35 years and life is worse every year. So keep telling people to LEAVE NOW OR YOUR LIFE IS OVER. Your kids will not be ok. LEAVE !

Barbara you videos are marvelous and informative easy to understand by common folk.barbara you teach complicated things in a simple way.barbara you are helping the humanity by your expertise and knowledge of human psyche and behaviours thanks Barbara.

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

Wow, thank you! Happy to help.

@grosheselvia8078

4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this video Barbara god bless you 🙏

This has explained my type of anxiety in such a clear and effective way!! Thank you so much for this invaluable resource! 🥰 and especially the steps to begin to take! you are most appreciated

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

You are very welcome, and thank you for letting me know it was helpful! Wishing you health and healing!

I love the way you explain things so clearly and in simple language that anyone can understand. So helpful. Thanks for doing this. I have frequent anxiety about death. I’m in good health but getting on in years. Thoughts about death are becoming more frequent and worrying. Knowing that when I die I will cease to exist triggers my anxiety and depresses me as well. There’s no escaping it.

How nicely put! Your communication skills are amazing. My question is whether the same avoidance cycle explains procrastination. Or even addictions?

Thanks! I love the way you present.

Thanks for another great video Barbara!

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

Very nice ! Thank you so much, Great modeling behavior/dialogue . . . we can all use this !

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful! Thank you for letting me know! 😀

Just wanted to let you know that your videos are a great source of inspiration to me. I am halv way through my studies to becoming a cbt-therapist and listening to you really deepens my understanding. Thank you so much for sharing. Best regards from Sweden 🦦💚🦦

i really appreciated this. i've seen a couple of your videos and they've been helpful and compassionate. thank you.

Excellent thank you again. So helpful. Makes sense to go over it in your mind first, which can help better when you actually go.

4:10 So can patience. I have many ways in which I'd love to be able to retrain my brain to not automatically, sight unseen expect horrific pain to avoid. My rational mind knows, my conditioned mind overrides. I've been noticing this for months but have no idea how to move from the awareness of this to fixing it.

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

Yes, this takes time, but it can be overcome! I have a whole series of videos on anxiety and how to help. These two in particular might be helpful: kzread.info/dash/bejne/hHqpu8WCqZm8qMY.html kzread.info/dash/bejne/gndtpbiIZ8W_j7A.html And, of course, sometimes psychotherapy is needed. I wish you health and healing! Barbara

Barbara, I absolutely know this is true! I avoid noises. If there is a certain noise near my home, I will work out what time of the day it is most likely and schedule my day to avoiding the noise. Even though the noise is not in any way dangerous to me..... it triggers my anxiety and I don't like that anxious feeling.

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

Hi! I can be sensitive to noise as well... I did work with someone once who had misophonia, and we recorded some of the noises she avoided and then used them while we did EMDR. It took awhile, but it helped her a lot! I wonder what would happen if you decided not to avoid it - or even to consiously decide that every time you hear the noise you will smile or give yourself a self-hug... or jump up and down... (!)

Your explanation? NAILED IT!

Thank you, Barbara!🙂

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

Love your channel,and and the way you deliver the most important info.😊

@BarbaraHeffernan

4 ай бұрын

❤

Where/what is the line between avoidance, and doing it for safety? For example, I'm a truck driver and fell into a deep anxiety, depression, and ptsd cycle. I used to be able to drive anywhere and everywhere, but now I struggle just running a consistent route that is actually easier because of the panic and being extremely oversensitized. My struggle has been knowing when facing this is unsafe, but also I'm afraid if avoiding too much or quitting this career will be avoidance to my brain and only revalidate the issue.

Just realised I may be doing self talk wrong. I call myself a stupid 🤬 and tell my brain to shut up. 😬

Some things or situations are necessary to avoid, while other things or situations may be necessary to pursue or attend, even though you or one may not want to, you go or attend, because that's the mature thing to do.

Hello Barbara. I did write on one of your CPTSD videos, but this explains what I went through quite good. So I had a boss who were a very unpleasant man who did not treat his workers well. One day he attacked me varbaly as soon as I stepped in the door and my body went into freeze respons and couldn't do anything or stand up for myself (because of past trauma) This got worse and worse... Is this what you call CPTSD? from one prolonged event? or is this "simply" anxiaty. Please reach out because I need to know what I should work on thanx

So, Barbara. I have PNES. My psychologist told me to have "escape routs " so the overwhelming stress response doesn't cause a seizure. Would you call this avoiding situations or a good method to avoid accidents to myself?

It makes me anxious to think about seeing my husband after 8 months of separation after he abused me. Should I work through this feeling or continue to avoid him?

@sue8370

3 ай бұрын

Avoid I reckon...unless of course he has made a recovery from drugs or alcohol which may have been his issue