It was hard for me to realize that somehow for most people friendships "decay". I just put them on halt, and can pick them up exactly where I left them, but others don't feel that way. But having to keep track of that and making sure I text people regularly enough can be really exhausting...

Had issues with school as kid because my autistic brain interpreted homework as teachers trying to stick themselves where they did not belong. To me school was the do things that deplete me while being dehumanised place and home was the thats over safe now place, so homework was a violation that shouldn't exist. Still feel that way about working from home. I guess I compartmentlise by building.

@rotisseriepossum

2 жыл бұрын

oh my god same! I always explained it as ‘home mode’ vs ‘school/work mode.’ It’s not that I don’t care, but school is for ‘school mode’ and this isn’t school. I’m developing a business (nobody else will hire me so I’ll just do it myself) and the course I’m in is helpful w planning, but I’m so stuck with actually making the product (press-on nails). I’ll be using my in-laws’ basement bc our apartment is just too small, but even then like. ‘That house is for family visit time. I’m going to visit... but I’m not going to _visit_?’ Hopefully writing down a schedule will help me adjust.

@silentlyjudgingyou

2 жыл бұрын

@@rotisseriepossum Good luck sounds like a stressfull bit of dissonance

@rotisseriepossum

2 жыл бұрын

@@silentlyjudgingyou boy howdy it sure is lol. thx!

When I was a young mother there was a season where I stayed home with the kids while my husband left the house for work. If he stayed home for some reason, I was completely disoriented and couldn't get anything done around the house which were my usual routines. They felt impossible. I would be so confused but not be able to put my finger on what would actually stop me from doing what I always did.

@heedmydemands

Жыл бұрын

Yes I am the same, husband being home when he's usually away throws me off of my routine

@gabrielmerchant

Жыл бұрын

YESS SAME with me and my partner

Yes! I find it so hard not to lose myself in one "world" at a time and end up forgetting about my responsibilities in the other "worlds". And I totally relate to that sentiment of "time stops if I'm not touching it". If I don’t already see you on a daily basis, I'm probably going to forget you exist for a while, no offense. It sucks when people accuse you of not caring or avoiding them on purpose.

@bumblebaa2327

2 жыл бұрын

my easiest friends are fellow autistics because of this haha! For "normal" friends I have timers running and reminders on my phone. "make contact every 3 weeks"

@heedmydemands

Жыл бұрын

​@@bumblebaa2327 I like your screen name. 3 week? Sounds reasonable, it's a number people seem happy with?

@bumblebaa2327

Жыл бұрын

@@heedmydemands yeah. They start thinking about it at 16 days and they start being irritated at 4 weeks. So 3 weeks is good, but I don't do longer.

Same, so appreciated hearing your explanation!! It's so hard to articulate this experience. My brother laughs when I will talk to him on the phone after 3 months and continue a conversation that got disrupted. He will know exactly what page I'm on. Other people tend to think I started a conversation with no context because they don't see that for me it's all one continual conversation. Lol

I’ve talked about this like different television shows. There can be crossover episodes, but these are Very Special Episodes. I don’t mind mixing them personally because I have learned to get used to needing to do it, but I do use this metaphor to notice the sensation of having two of my “television shows” converge for a short time. I also have to go back to some of my television shows starring me and nobody else (excluding my dog merlin) to recover. That’s my main programming ^__^

@rahbeeuh

2 жыл бұрын

I really like how you describe it as if it's a TV show. I find I use TV and movie analogies to explain quite a bit. Anyhoo, this is really relatable. Thanks!

@Misshowzat

2 жыл бұрын

That's easy to understand. People wouldn't be happy for long if Big Bang & NCIS had too many crossovers

@rahbeeuh

2 жыл бұрын

@@Misshowzat the tonal shifts would be bothersome after a while

@heedmydemands

Жыл бұрын

Yeah the main programming sounds like a good one

Thank you for tackling what's not even on the books yet. Love the way you research. keep talking in front of the camera. keep sharing. thank you. you created a beautiful thing!

@jillshaffer2120

2 жыл бұрын

And yes again it's like you're explaining my brain to me better than myself, especially when you talk about your own experience and explain it.

Thanks for discussing this! I've tried to explain this to my therapist so many times but she doesn't seem to get that it encompasses literally everything. The way you described your different "worlds" makes so much sense! It's totally not intentional. I don't seem to be able to compartmentalize intentionally. When my "worlds" overlap I get disoriented and confused. And when I'm in one "world" it's hard to recall details of things from other worlds that aren't closely related. Which makes it hard to explain something to my therapist that really upset me when I'm stuck in work mode because our appointment got scheduled for the middle of the afternoon, which I keep thinking is a good idea because I'm working from home and our appointments aren't even in person right now. 🙄🤦‍♀️

@JB-hj2vj

2 жыл бұрын

yes, it takes time to move from one context to another and back again.

This makes so much sense. When I’m in my work world I have this set of rules to follow, relationships that are only there and the masking I do to survive there. Other public spaces, stores for instance, are very different… I’m very shut off there and minimal social interactions due to sensory overload. So seeing some one from work or home/personal world in a store is very jarring. Suddenly I have to try to transition and change masking and do all of this in an environment that is practically sensory hostile for me. Similar jarring feeling when someone I am friends with at work suggests doing some kind of social activity outside of work. I can handle text interactions after work but in person get togethers with coworkers outside of work are… difficult. How do I need to act? What is acceptable to say/do?

Im a mono tasker. I work best like that. Happy to announce it.

This is absolutely verbatim in every word/specific you spoke yes! Just yes. I don't use caps for yes, because my head can't take shouting right now. Having comorbidly some of the more down sides of ADHD [which can also be a strange mix due to memory issues], I hear the hated term, "task switching." And I have always had a terrible time with the concept of "friend" and even more with the idea that any friend is not literally a best friend forever!!! That one often hurts! My Aspie son is even more strongly multi world than I. That is a great description. I've accomplished more this week than hardly by doing one world per day. Then I must rest for a few days... Those attempted switches can be excruciating. I'm rambling but want to comment yes to every detail you spoke. Thank you forever for being a voice for us!

This makes me think of masking - they must be related. This mask goes with this 'world', that mask goes with that 'world', and my hobbies world has no mask at all. I agree this is because, at least for me, I need to switch gears, change the way my brain is focusing or working, and maybe change my mask (e.g. communication style) and even level of energy depending on which world I am in. I'm so glad you did this video, because I never really recognised this much before - it really enriches the ideas of 'going somewhere' to recharge and masking, and explains something that I have struggled with thinking I was broken because I have never heard specifically how this could relate to autism before

@rotisseriepossum

2 жыл бұрын

‘My hobbies have no mask at all.’ I wonder if that explains why I’m so anxious when ppl ask to see my drawings or things I like. Like ‘pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.’ But at the same time, I long for ppl to see/appreciate my efforts like ‘look what I can do!’

I honestly feel embarrassed of this part of me bc it makes me seem controlling to people, and I have trouble explaining why I am this way.

Wao, thank you for this great video. This is exactly how I experience a great part of my life. As a child I never got homesick while away from my parents. In a certain way they were not part of that world and so I did not miss them. I even experience this with my own family today, even though I love them very much. Then one time I stayed with friends somewhere close to home for a couple of days and while driving to a museum I totally did not recognise my own street I was driving through, because my home was not a part of that world at that moment. It also gets me into trouble a lot of times when I have to make appointments. It has happened so often that I set appointments at the same time because they were situated in different worlds. Or I forgot appointments because I did not live in the same world as the appointment at that moment. It is quite embarrassing and frustrating because I have to check my calendar for every little appointment I make and even then things get jumbled up so often.

You have just described every part of my life

Thanks for this video. I very much relate to what you describe and No I don't have any solution to this, either. What aggravates the situation greatly on top of everything you said is that for me switching between the "worlds" can't be done momentarily. I need to take my time in-between, which is not always possible. If I force myself into a blitz-switch, it's a sure path to burnout. Now imagine how challenging it becomes in this Covid afflicted world when the crisscrossing of our little "worlds" becomes almost unavoidable (e.g., working/studying/etc. from home). I don't think a solution is even possible to this compartmentalisation, to be honest...

My first ever world was video games, and then my dad said, “ I wish that you would put as much effort into your schooling as you do your video games.” So then I thought, “Why can’t I compartmentalism my school work?” I tried compartmentalizing my school work, and it works very well. Much better than it did before I compartmentalized it. I now compartmentalize most things that I do, and it seems to work pretty well. I do seem to get stuck in my school work world, and I can’t seem to get out of it. Maybe that’s why my social life is lacking. I just work on school, and I clean the house, and I work in order to afford to go to school, and take the courses that I need. Other than that, I just dropped everything else. This could be because I am a bit depressed because of my family leaving though, but it may be so that I can just focus on school because it is a priority for me.

What about the micro-compartmentalization of functioning within one realm versus another, such as functioning relationally versus functioning practically or logically? For instance when I’m talking with someone I’m concentrating on reading and sensing what’s going on emotionally/relationally, so if they suddenly switch to something factual like asking me how old I am or how to get from one place to another, my brain can’t make the switch. It’s also why I think I can’t remember peoples names because that’s a function of memorizing “data” but I can’t do that while relating to the person. I have to pick one function at a time!

I've mentioned this to people a lot growing up. It was an idea that consumed my everyday thoughts. I didn't understand why it felt so uncomfortable when my dad's family, and mom's family got together. I especially freaked out when my church friend's and school friends crossed over. I would figure out and handle it at the time, but I hated it so much, and would avoid for it to happen. I noticed it wasn't as much of an issue to the people around me, and it's a big reason I've always felt different. I don't know if I'm autistic, but I do resonate with a lot of autistic creators, and criteria.

I'd like to thank you for making this video. I was "compartmentalized" by my autistic soulmate & it was the most emotionally traumatic experience of my entire life. It happened randomly & without warning. It's like they pressed a button & simply erased me from their memory. I felt like I'd been idealized, devalued & discarded by a narcissist or a psychopath. It's been years & I'm still not over it. I'd often see them compartmentalize other people, even family members. But because we were both so deeply in love I never thought it'd happen to me too. It shattered me into a thousand pieces. So hearing how the process of compartmentalization works is incredibly therapeutic & helpful to me. It's made me realize that their feelings for me were real, I've just been stored away in a box. You've honestly made a gigantic difference to my life & my recovery by sharing this video. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

@Yasminh159

2 жыл бұрын

This is happening to me at the moment..in form of stonewalling for the last 2 months. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown... I've tried so hard not to give up the relationship and just understand the why's of it all in relation to autism.

@rotisseriepossum

2 жыл бұрын

I did this with my husband’s family and it rly hurts his feelings when I told him. Which was rly surprising bc it made sense to me. They’re not in the My Family box because that stops if we get divorced. He said he felt like I wasn’t as committed to the marriage as he was because he instantly accepted my family as his family too now, which rly surprised me in a ‘wow that’s so nice :)’ sort of way. It took a few months of wrestling with the idea, but I managed to move them into the My Family box from the For-Now Family box-well, the ones I see most often/I know the most. I haven’t compartmentalized my husband (yet), but I think I might be starting to ever since he stopped being interested in sex. That’s a different story but everything else is going just fine. Oh my god wait, I’ve got it. Everything else is great/same as usual, there’s no real strain besides our finances (but even that is looming like a storm on the horizon imo). I think I’ve compartmentalized *myself*. I lived with my family before getting married. I was also constantly under threat of being kicked out if unless I ‘improved’ and started helping around the house. It was a cycle of feeling I need to stay hidden so not to bother anyone, but also need to be visibly productive in some way so I can earn my keep. (They were never going to rly kick me out, but I felt unwelcome in my own home.) i thought I got over that, since things improved after getting diagnosed. But at the same time, I still avoid tasks (shit I am right now I just remembered) because I’m not working and not everything here is mine and therefore it’s not quite My Home. Like yeah I live here and obviously I don’t need to earn my place as a wife. And yet I can only wash the dishes when he gets home and/or I’m panicking, because that’s just what happened before. The other way I was trying to cook dinner and wash dishes at once because I had been avoiding both. I avoided them because I was stuck between my plans that day and something else that came up suddenly. I said I would do the thing because I knew it’d make him happy. I ended up doing nothing. Once again, I failed. I couldn’t look him in the eye or talk to him, just give me 10 minutes I can do it it’s okay. He stopped me, said he knew this would happen because I was off the night before and was fidgety in the morning, and we finished dinner/dishes together. The wildest part is, I was amazed but also terrified because I’m so unfamiliar with such empathy/understanding from anyone. Even my parents didn’t start until after my diagnosis, he’s been like this from beginning when my parents were at their worst. I’m getting better at accepting that he won’t get tired of me and doesn’t think I’m sneaky/lazy, but it’s hard. Childhood messed me up more than I thought. I think I got off topic here, oops

@ziggypip2938

7 ай бұрын

Same!! Traumatic horrific experience! Wouldn’t date another ASD person for millions of dollars. Lied and cheated and threatened me when I found out. Was totally in love. Crazy and sick.

3:42 This hits the nail on the head for me. I have a history of keeping different aspects of my life - friends, groups of friends, parents, romantic/sexual partners etc - separate from each other, and I've often felt uncomfortable/embarrassed when people from different "areas" of my life meet in my presence. If my discomfort is visible, sometimes people have afterwards said to me things like "Are you embarrassed by me?" or "Are you ashamed of me?" I've tried to explain to them that the problem is in me and _doesn't_ mean I am embarrassed by _them._ Sometimes they believe me (but still find it puzzling) and other times they don't believe me. I wasn't like this before I reached puberty (I'm now 57). The severity of it varies, and sometimes I'm able to mask it, and I think it has kind of mellowed with age, but I still get anxious about the possibility of it happening.

I can definitely relate to this as an autistic person

OMG this is soooo freaking eye opening. I have this and never knew what this was. I freak out when i see a colleague outside of work in a grocery store.

Yes! My first new video!

i’m bawling at work right now…. never ever ever has this been reflected back to me

You have just explained a major struggle that has pulled my world apart over the last year and put me in a huge state of burnout.

“… in each world, time stops until I touch it.” -Stephanie The BEST explanation for what it feels like trying to get through my life. Besides the high level of discomfort I have when I contemplate mixing my worlds, adding new ones as I get older has sometimes tipped me over the edge with anxiety. Fatigue seeps in from the mental drain of perseveration, as I work to create new appropriate-talking-point scripts AND “invisible scripts”-internal dialogue that reminds me what NOT to do or say in that context. The worlds of job interviews and employment are the ones that drain me most.

I understand this completely. I would have separate small groups of friends based on how I categorized them but I never plan for them to meet because it becomes chaotic with variables that I can't predict and inevitably I end up just silent while everyone gets to know each other and worrying that they're all going to realize that there's something "not right" about me and completely cut me from the equation.

Learning cognitive flexibility really helps! Less stress

Oh My Goodness!! I learn so much about myself from your videos, often more than from the experts. I didn't even know I needed to hear this video! I currently work in a hospital kitchen (way too stimulating, but that's another story) I am a chef that works in any area of the kitchen. But I also learnt the other areas involving food services. My uniform needs to change sometimes, but I always have sets of clothes to wear for each task so I can focus solely on the set job. I also live separately from my partner as we currently work in 2 slightly different areas of regional Australia. I have always said I'm living 2 separate lives as I go from house to house. This has to be compartmentalized or I would not survive this complicated life I have set up for myself. I now struggle to fit my friends in as I'm so full up of responsibilities, but is good for the time when my brain needs something new as I can pack up my car and dogs and go to other house. (Was a God send during Covid)

This platform is going to blow up. I have gotten so much useful information from watching this channel. Thank you so much for yet another wonderfully insightful video. Will be staying tuned for more

I have some sort of internal timer that makes me check if I need to go to the bathroom every two hours? Works good to put a limit on time in a world. Also "stop before you're too tired to put the things away". Which in reality means: "Stop when you notice things are going great and when you wonder if you should start wondering yet." PS that internal timer was learned because I don't notice that I have to pee. So now I check every two hours.

This is so true for me. Thank you.

I've always hid or ran away whenever I see someone I know in a store or something. Mostly for this reason, I think.

Oh I totally relate to you seeing different parts of your life as different worlds! When I was younger I thought about it exactly like this. I am not sure why I stopped but you just reminded me 😄

"In each world, time stops until I touch it." That's a brilliant description. I'm wondering something. So, for ADHD, maybe transitions are difficult because not enough dopamine could build up to a reward, and the mind won't hold onto the experience as easily. But for ASD, perhaps transitions are difficult because we don't want to leave a world frozen in disarray, waiting for us to return. Not sure. The compartment idea could be a reason for the manner in which most ASD symptoms present. What looks like anxiety, compulsions, obsessions, mood fluctuations, etc., can be better explained as reactions to the violations of one's non-overlapping magisteria. What do you think? 🤔

wow, thanks for wording this! They ARE worlds and I like how I know the different rules for different boxes and yes time stops when I'm not touching that world and it's a problem that time does not stop also in reality. Thank you so much for giving words and images that I needed.

I have thought about this thing so many times, I’m so glad you put that into words, thank you! I do this all the time. I’m a single mom and I met this really great man, and after a while I just couldn’t keep up my roles as a partner mixed with my role as a mom and a role as dad’s new partner. I’ve been on the edge of having a burnout several times around Christmas and summer holidays. I really needed this reminder now, desperately. Everything in my life just has to have their own space or box. I can’t even do housework with someone around, it’s hard. And it’s so true, people feel neglected when I dive into other worlds. I forget everything else! My partner has asked me why I stopped visiting him with my girls, now I might be able to explain - it’s just too costly for my energy levels and I just can’t do it. Thank you.

Thank you for talking about this, I feel like compartmentalization is ruining my life sometimes

This video was SO great, it gave me so light to my experiences that I was never able to explain. Newly found woman on the spectrum and truly thank you so much. ❤️

Okay, watched full video now. Makes more sense now what you are talking about. It explains a lot about a part of Autism I don't experience with my Autistic brain but I have seen other Autistics do experience. I guess my (as of yet) undiagnosed ADHD is playing a part in why I don't experience this type of Compartmentalion to the degree you described in the video. Yes, I can not task switch when my whole attention is needed on the task I am currently engaged with, even more so when I become hyperfocused where I forget to the basics of even taking care of myself and it causes my great distress if I am interrupted during those hyper focus events/moments. But outside of focusing on a task that needs my full attention, I have difficulty having my focus and thoughts be all over the place. I could do to learn to compentmentalize more just to get stuff done that needs doing, plus I could do with a much better concept of time. Not speaking to friends or family for years and thinking it's only been a month and just starting off where we last left off is a problem for me. So I can definitely relate to that. A very good video. The advert breaks were frustrating, I had to keep rewinding a few seconds after each break. Not your fault, that's KZread fault.

You have put words on something I've been feeling my hole life without being able to explain it, and now thanks to you I feel happy because I can finally put it in a box with a name on it and by doing so I make sens of it. I wonder if this could be related with emotional permanence, because until now that is how I explained the fact that I tend to forget about things or even feelings when they are not present in my world at the moment.

Thank you 💛

I never thought about it but this is totally me.... any time people from my different world interact, I feel so awkward and have no idea what to do or say.... like am I supposed to put on the work mask or the friends mask or the family mask etc.

Thank you for this well structured and very precise explanation. This is not something to remedy. Understanding how this works makes it a skill to perfect and to use to your advantage. For example: I manage many projects simultaeniously by using this as a technique to zoom my focus in and out, much like the manager described. But in social aspects and in combination with masking this can be very stressful and I freak out just like you when my social worlds collide. I guess I have accepted that and try to organise my life around this in order to minimize the risk of occurance. This is actually easier than unwanted confrontations where I have to figure out what mask to wear, which is pretty ironic.

I've never heard about this before, but it makes so much sense to me!! I have the same thing with friends, they are still special for me even though I haven't talk to them for so long, but most just don't feel the same, is like they erased me from their life, makes me really sad, because is so hard for me to keep in touch...

Thank you so much. I divide my life into boxes or departments eg. Home, work, relationships, health etc. If I don't do this I go crazy. I will totally neglect other things while hyperfocusing on others. I actually have a virtual board where I write these boxes and I check on it everyday just make sure I am allocating my attention to each department. If I don't I will forget to eat or worse forget a meeting I have to attend.

Fantastic info, i really appreciate your style I'd describe as "light" compared to all other videos I've watched so far on or by neurodivergent individuals; best to look at life with a bit of lightness and humour, it gives hope that things can definitely be worked out when good will is at play..Neurodivergents and neurotypicals are different yes; do those relationships require work and discipline yes, but it's not the end of the world. We just need to adapt and learn to communicate with each other if we want to entertain that relationship.

this explains alot in me. also btw i just temporarily think of a really out there universal concept like quantum entanglment or something is in the world or box or compartment im dealing with and can transfer over to another one just by using imagination to connect a dot to another if its REALLY needed.

It seems like a logical way to think 🤔

I have the absolute luck of having two friends that are the same regarding time “stopping” in each box. Sometimes we’ve not talked for months or even years at some point. But one phone call(Them I actually like talking to on the phone occasionally) away is the conversation more or less exactly where we left it. It gives me so much less anxiety regarding the relationships.

good video; Like so many things, it comes down to the hyperfocus that is characteristic of autism. Narrow beam of concentration ==> compartmentalization.

Yeah, I like to think I compartmentalize a lot. I don't like to take my worlds from place to another, but sometimes the waters get muddied. Over the years though, I've learned to adjust on the fly even if it means leaving my comfort zone in order to get through a particular situation or accomplish what needs to be done.

Wow this is brilliant 👏 👌 😀

I am exectly where you were in this video. I was recently diagnosed on the ASD spectrum in my 30's. I compartmentalize for categorical/executive function needs. It is similar to information "chunking" strategies. I think it is an evolutionary adaption to slower executive function and hightened sensory/emotional/spiritual experiences. I have left neurotypical people on the shelf when I am world traveling, and some feel that I have ghosted them. Neurotypicals do not deal with ASD issues, and ASD individuals are not the best at communicating internalized struggle. I believe this is where the disconnect lies. I also believe that the limbic system can send us into tailspins when our celestial systems collide. Hope this helped.

I see it as my brain is a house with different rooms, and everything has its own room.

I'm not sure I experience this at all. Most of the time I feel scattered, like I have too many tabs open in my browser, and I tend to treat every situation/person the same, which is often ends up being inappropriate.

@quinnguyen3888

2 жыл бұрын

Me too, def behave similarly to the way you describe with people, but with tasks and things I do fixate and struggle a lot with “switching compartments” and stress management when it arises.

@rotisseriepossum

2 жыл бұрын

For me it’s like things often require use from different compartments and it gets rly chaotic. ‘Too many tabs’ is a great way to put it. It’s like baking a cake but you notice too late that you weren’t supposed to mix the wet/dry ingredients until later but you’ve been putting them in the same bowl this whole time and your cake comes out flat.

I definitely have this to some extent, but didn’t think of it this way. I find it really intriguing though, and hope to be able to use it to deal better in some areas of my life. I wonder if it would be useful to think of it, not so much as different worlds, but something like different rooms in a house or castle (castle is more fun ;p) or possibly as a holodeck on the Enterprise? Or even as separate files in a cabinet, “acting” a role, etc. But, yes. When to switch ‘rooms’ or ‘files’ can be difficult. And when one merges in on another it’s frustrating (like hubs coming in just now to talk about something else! 🙄😫😂). But maybe for some of it one could have a timer or schedule in certain things at intervals, like an alarm every week to call/text a friend, trim my nails, clean the bathroom. And actually imagine the transition from one holodeck program to another or walking out of one room into another in the castle. Might help the brain to fully leave one thing behind and focus on the next thing. Idk, will be an interesting experiment though!

@tiiaj7589

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe the castle could have a common room for when people or events from separate rooms converge? It is a whole new scenario, and still stressful, but at least it wouldn’t be destroying the other rooms. Idk if that would be workable at all.

@teodorasavoiu4664

2 жыл бұрын

Another analogy may be different drawers of a storage unit or different plays going on in separate rooms of a theatre🤔 I'm just now realising why I can never immediately recognise acquaintances when I run into them in places other than the context in which I usually interact with them 😂 it's very startling and I literally freeze if they notice me and say hello first.

@tiiaj7589

2 жыл бұрын

@@teodorasavoiu4664 yes! I do that too. It’s so embarrassing. I had thought maybe it was Prosopagnosia, but I think in pictures, I’m an artist, and I can describe people fairly well usually. This makes way more sense. I’m so glad you mentioned this. :)

Oh wow very interesting video! I didn't realize I did this. Let me save it to my "ASD" playlist on KZread lol

Do you think it could be along the same lines of having difficulty with transitions in general?

@StephanieBethany

2 жыл бұрын

Very possibly!

@rotisseriepossum

2 жыл бұрын

That’s definitely the case for me. Getting places on time is almost impossible because of this. Obviously I can’t go to work until I’m dressed for it, that’s just basic sense. But my brain is like ‘do work thing... at home? Work stays at work, what’s it doing here? Home is for home, and home is for regular clothes, not work clothes!’ Edit: and yet, even if I could change at work I’d have the same problem

In other research, they call the phenomenon "context collapse " The classic example is seeing your elementary school teacher at the grocery store. "Schema" / "Schemata" are other terms for the described the mental categories in educational psychology. You might find more research if you include some of these terms.

I'm undiagnosed but I relate to this. I actually work in a very closeknit community, where we are all friends with each other and have all these overlapping friendships. I think it is beautiful, and as someone who really values connection/intimacy, I love it, but I also struggle everyday with the tension of managing my individual friendships with everyone within the context of the whole group dynamic. I feel lonely sometimes because I feel like what I really want is more one on one time, but that is really hard for me to find/ask for, and it creates a lot of anxiety, insecurity, and isolation for me, sometimes. And every new person that comes into the group, changes the group dynamic and so I feel like I need to re-figure out my role within the group and in each of my individual friendships. Sometimes I just want to talk with one person at a time and not feel like I am keeping track of everyone else who is nearby who may or may not be listening and may or may not join in. At the same time, I never know when I can or cannot jump into other peoples conversations, but I don't think anyone else worries about being "intrusive" the way I do, and maybe it's because they don't get stressed out the same way about other people unexpectedly joining a one-on-one conversation I am having. I feel like an asshole sometimes for not wanting new people to keep coming and changing everything, lol, but sometimes I just want the dust to settle so I can just build meaningfully on my existing friendships. But then the new people become friends I value you, too, so I'm just a stressed out pot of contradictions, lolololol.

@mikashibuya2860

2 жыл бұрын

I relate to other forms of compartmentalization, too. I can find it really hard to "code switch" from one area of my life to another, including from just being alone to being with people, even my closest friends.

♥️⭐️

Is this why I hate running into coworkers at the grocery store?

Wait, so "compartmentalization" means we stay friends longer despite lulls in interaction? 😃 If that's the case, I like this trait, because it can be difficult to keep up with all my friends. 😅 But it does sound like it makes "crossovers" more challenging... 🤔 so what might we do In order to, say, make a future in-person encounter at a KZread event easier for us to get through? Because that would be a bit sad if an already awkward thing became more awkward due to this... Should we notify you in advance, then wear name tags with our usernames and profile pics? 🤔

@StephanieBethany

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes! I think that's kinda how it works for me, but maybe not everyone. And stuff like a youtuber event is specifically set aside - meaning I would particularly expect online friends or those who connect to me in some way as "Stephanie Bethany" to be the ones I engage with, so I don't think it would be a problem in this regard. But I like your ideas! I think it would be way helpful for the matching online versions of people to their in person versions!

@quinnguyen3888

2 жыл бұрын

I guess I’ve always had a knack for keeping friends around and picking up just the same years later. I’ve cherished the fact my friendships work that way, knowing they’re always there even when I don’t see them. I always just accepted it’s a symptom of how I operate, a combination of the fact constant contact with people stresses me out and the fact I make very little masking effort when making friends so those who actually want to become my friends genuinely like me a lot (somehow) and are here for the long haul lol. Actually a natural trait of mine that brings me a lot of joy, because I feel it forms the most genuine form of friendship in my book. Also avoiding crossovers is easier anyway bc sometimes people don’t get along or shit talk each other (to me) which upsets me a lot so it’s easier when people exist in pockets

You look so fashionable. I love it.

For me I don't compartmentalize with people but with environments & situations. So if someone comes over to visit & then wants to go for a walk & maybe visit shopping center after it completely throws me *unless* I know it's coming because that day or week is the compartment. Which can be really jarring when I come back to a place or an area & it's completely changed. Even employees sometimes. You see this play out online with others too with people who can't handle character, backdrop or host changes. But the react can range from disappointment to depression to complete existential...crisis? dread? Completely dramatic & disproportionate response followed by too much philosophy. But that doesn't happen much & having God is one of the main things that helps me past it. Spending time with Him, knowing He'll sort it out & that He's got me in between, it makes all the difference. The compartments do mean small things are challenging, like going out with a friend, but the win is much bigger when it goes well.

Thanks... Good job. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I need a fridge that freezes time like this.

You say worlds - I say names. I'm called different names in these different worlds, boxes and compartments. Here is the remedy: DID has looaads of coping mechanisms and terminology for this. Doing this crossover is called being Blended. I do have cptsd too though so maybe that might not work for you. But DID terminology helps and works for me

Funny enough (being diagnosed as actually autistic) the whole compartmentazation thing seems not to be happening at all. As an example "leaving work issues at the workplace" as I was often advised, won't work. To me, life (and everything happing "within it") is an always continuing chain of events. It my head (thinking) I'm able to separate "worlds" (using the metaphor from this video). In reality (my waking hours) I am not. Having two children (both diagnosed with ass) I see my oldest being able to do compartmentazation, while the youngest does not seem to have this ability. Where the oldest seems to identify with aspects of life in a sequential way, with the youngest it seems more like a parallel process. Though I am still figuring this out for myself, this video called me to respond and share this experience. Have a nice day!

Waiting for the therapist to pipe up in the comments already 🥺 how do we deal with this...I lose so many projects I wanna do, so many friends who become totally different people to me because I wasn't there for that change... please make it stop...

I think NTs have compartments as well and I get pretty annoyed when they try to force compartments/boxes on me that don't make sense. That includes introvert/extrovert, type A/type B, right brained/left brained and probably a lot more. I obviously understand what they mean, but I don't think they apply to me.

The only way I could have a job was to compartmentalize work me and home me into two different people.

Lol I didn't know this was a thing. I called it categorizing before... and might still call it that lol

@MargauxNeedler

Жыл бұрын

I'm undiagnosed, but my Dr. agrees I have traits

Awesome video! Can you cover the trouble with phenotyping autism by gender? There are many men who have stereotypically “female” autistic traits, like myself, who start to doubt they have autism as a result of gendering autistic traits.

@tiiaj7589

2 жыл бұрын

I agree. My brother and male cousins present very much like what’s “female” traits. I think Atypically Presenting autism might be a better term. In reality it’s just part of the spectrum and different personalities, but it might be useful to get the messagout there to doctors, therapists, parents and teachers that the stereotypical presentation isn’t the only one.

@StephanieBethany

2 жыл бұрын

Definitely something I want to cover! I've definitely noticed that a lot of these may be due to assuming that better at masking = female

@davef2975

2 жыл бұрын

I am at a loss here. I have not seen anything in the DSM that are traits ONLY females have, or for that fact, ONLY males have. I do read and agree that due to either personal, environmental, or innate behavioral influences, it is harder to see some indicators. But I have not seen the word "only female" in the DSM associated with any diagnostic criteria. Are you declaring there are two distinct and separate "Autisms?" "Male Autism" and "Female Autism?" I agree with Stephanie and clinicians that there are masking issues with Females, but that is not a "symptom" of Autism, not totally unique to Females, only a diagnostic challenge. What "traits" are you saying are only Female?

@tiiaj7589

2 жыл бұрын

@@davef2975 it’s not, but many KZreadrs and some diagnosticians use that wording. Not so much for the traits but because of how the traits present differently to others. People are realizing that it’s not only females who present this way, some males do too, and some females pressent closer to the “stereotypical” presentation, as well. So, that term is not really correct. Using has had a bit of a purpose as it’s helped many undiagnosed women finally get diagnosed, like myself. However, it still sidelines men who present this way, and that’s not good.

@tiiaj7589

2 жыл бұрын

@@davef2975 I think really that they just have to expand the criteria that are used to describe what autism looks like, not describing that it needs to be male OR female that may present certain ways. I could be wrong, but that’s how I understand it anyway.

I never thought about it until now , but should we ask our loved ones if we need to spend more time attending to them? Do we need to focus on all things a little all the time?

@StephanieBethany

2 жыл бұрын

I think asking them would be a good way to help open communication on the matter for sure

I am just commenting to remind myself to watch this when I have the time. So please feel free to ignore this comment as I am just putting down my initial thoughts to compare to after I watch the video. I am currently confused from quickly reading some of the comments here. I often do this to give me a brief idea of what a video will be about, after reading the video description first. The meaning of the word compartmentalion is looking different to what I thought it to be. I am sure it will all make sense when I watch this video fully. I am just a bit baffled right now. Question to myself) Why would Autistics be more likely to hold two or more conflicting beliefs/thoughts/opinions and thereby putting oneself through such pain of doing so? (Edited for typos and missing words in sentence.) Second edit) Realised I was mixing meanings, between Cognitive Dissadence and Compartmentalion. My mistake.

Wait, other people don’t do this!?!

I'm not saying I compartmentalize a lot, I'm just saying I have four names on the internet

She's confusing compartmentalization with dissociation. Autistics often are poor at the former but may excel at the latter.

If neurotypicals adapted to awkward situations, neurodivergent folks wouldn’t have as many issues.