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catch up friends is inevitable given how busy everyone is as a working adult. to even have one friendship is good enough. for introverts like me it is no problem. to want anything different from a catch up friendship when each individual's life focus eventually becomes different, it is naive to want it remain like when friendship first started out.

I analysed this issue privately. If you don't make new experiences together, then you keep reminiscing about the past. And you eventually have nothing to talk about. If you value friends, need to create new experiences. My high school friends from 30 years ago, we're kinda hitting that point. So every time I try to do new things to create new experiences to talk about no more talking about the past.

John’s super confident in his thoughts but starting to see that he has difficulties holding polarities. You can miss friendships and see the value and purpose of them being transient in your life at the same time. I can imagine how frustrating it might be for his co workers and Pat to be vulnerable w him if he sees everything so black and white & use “everything happens for a reason” to tell someone to stop feeling what they are feeling.

i actually appreciate having catchup friends (some used to be v close friends). bc life happens and ppl just have v different schedules, diff commitments in life that makes it difficult to maintain that level of closeness that we did in school. and thats fine.. as much as i reminisce those times, im still happy that i get to meet them once in a while to catch up on life. to know that i always have this friend who has been a super important part of a phase in my life and that’s enough.

@VivianHoGrey13

2 ай бұрын

+1

As a 20-something YO that started struggling with the complexities of friendships especially in this season of major life changes for many 20-something YOs, this podcast was much needed and I felt really validated. It made me feel like many of us are actually going through the same things and I’m not just going crazy. :’)

Omg i thought I was the only want who acted abnormal about glamorizing chill friendship. Ive always been the friend who makes the effort and truth to be told it’s draining… now I audit the kind of friendship I have . I follow 5 no’s and go. Ill make the effort max of 5 times and then after if theres no reciprocation then Ill keep them as catch up friends. Also a ton of people who said that they love chill friendship are intentional friends to others. If they can do it to others then its a matter of efforts.

I think John is like that because Pat already takes that role. We all have our emotional tank, everyone’s is different in capacity. Close friends, spouses and partners fill that tank. I think we only seek out that past friendships when our current relations are not fully filling that emotional tank.

I totally feel like Sherms too cos I find it hard to let go of friends, and harder to maintain friends too, but I also am embracing John's point nowadays & accepting that friends also come and go, and its ok if some stay for a while and go, while others stay for a long time. It took me years to slowly accept that, and I think its applicable for ppl who are afraid to lose friends.

I really liked the last point. In the journey of life towards that which we want to be, all we can do at every moment is try to make memories with people. I feel I myself just internalized this thought during the podcast. You cannot hold on to a sinking ship trying to save it. If your friends whom are close to you are not putting in any more effort, maybe you need to self reflect or internalize within. If you know it is totally not your fault than let it go. It is more painful to hold on to something, that it is to let go. Focus on yourself daily, and try to create memories daily. Eventually a single memory will be spoken about in the next 10 years for that particular group of friends. Everyone is busy chasing something in life. Be it love, marriage, kids, money, career, job... We are all crazy about something, over time we have FEAR OF MISSING OUT (FOMO). Because not everyone in the friend group will be chasing the same thing. People will part ways, only the memories will stay. This too shall pass. Godspeed everyone! :)

32:53 - 33:25 it really hit hard for me... my takeaway is everyone you meet has a lesson for you.

@crehmenti

2 ай бұрын

Can TDK guys please cut this part & put as YTshorts or reel? 😀

@ichigoichigolicioux503

2 ай бұрын

OMG YES I agree.

But isn't that just life? Like, without proximity and schedule alignment, most adult friendships are like this. But knowing that they're still in my life, knowing that they're doing okay, isn't that enough? Also, one thing I noticed the conversation missed is this: technically speaking, isn't family (especially extended) also 'catch-up friends'?

6:52 when Alison wow at Dan's use of cheem word cathartic lol

The only real way to say "Good for you" in a somewhat reasonable manner is to add singlish at the end, like "Good for you sia!". "Good for you leh!"

The only catch up friends i had are those who went into the Financial Advisor industry. They were not close with me in the past but 10 years later they suddenly care about my family more than I do 🥲

This is an extremely relatable topic.

Catch up friends are people who are keen and wanna be involved in your lives. That is why conversations can be engaging even if it’s with people who are not there daily but still able and still value to be involved in your experience. They journey in your lives.

All my friends are catch up friends...

Catch up friends reached that title cuz halfway through i gave up on the friendship and if none of them reached out i wouldve never reached out

Love this episode! There were so many takes on each particular subject. Best part's alison's "hahaha" voice note.

if you can't jump right into deep topics as simply as you can with surficial topics, that's on you, the friend, and the way you guys nurture things. majority of my friends and i spend all our time on subject matter that excites us (a lot of it has to do with the work that we do deep in our respective industries and find meaningful). when we do meet up, we jump from hedonistic gossip to anti-zionist apologetics in two seconds. the ultimate gain from friendships is the ability to be absolutely comfortable when you want to be everything from obsessively thorough and intricate to just being lazy and surficial. also, "incomplete" discussions can leave that nice little bit of 遗憾

Great episode 👍🏻

Sometimes it just needs that ice breaker to talk about things. To catch up on how each has grown, life and happenings. Sometimes the same issues may have happened to them too. Just take time and ‘catch up’ friends maybe become regulars. Or they may have the ‘best’ advice for you. That’s life. The memories is always a good way to chat up with friends.

just in time for my dinner break. BLESS

vvv good episode!!!

The difference between all male friends and all female friends. Guys don't like to dig, we will just listen what the other party want to say that is it. Women would just like to dig and dig. My guy friends group appreciate the once a year meet up and understand each of us are busy with work and family. Just a small catch up session, where we can just destress and talk anything under the sun is good enough.

Wise words from John 32:53

Jon Paul has a good radio voice

Are low-maintenance friendships due to Quality Time Love Language? Because I totally I'm like John. I'll be totally fine and still happy even if never meet after months/years. My QT is soooo low hahaha. So I need to make soooooo much effort to keep r/s man

these youngsters acting like they know the world

This is destiny. I am all of the people i meet along the way, be it good or bad Thanks for the memories

because the past was great shermz ~ lol

i was "forced' to accept a friend as a best friend when i was in secondary sch. She would boss me around. When we ventured into the society to work, i begun to be close to another friend and "neglected" her by not hanging out as much as during those years i partied hard (& she has had a child to take care of out of wedlock). She started to have her own circle of friends whom i do not really feel comfortable enough to hang out often, and frankly i begun to see how manipulative she is. I introduced my friend to her so that we may start hanging out and that "best friend" started making up stories to destroy the relationship between me and that friend. When asked for the person who claimed i said those words like my friend is a slut etc, the person refused to show or admit. In the end i gave up these 2 friends. i was heartbroken as i would never say such words. But well, i am not keen to explain myself anymore and took this as a lesson. I never wanted any best friend since due to the expectations and i have my own life hurdles to overcome.

There are googly eyes on that lamp #nowyouknow

sorry i need to find some friends first..... :(

algooooooooooooooo

Don’t even have a friend group to begin with, and how I wish I could experience what yall are talking about 🥲