"Don't be afraid of losing people, be afraid of losing yourself."

@SawRinku

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@montheramier1556

2 жыл бұрын

This talk is a life changing for me Ma'am 🙏

@swetabora6502

8 ай бұрын

Being the eldest daughter brought up in the same environment as you, I can relate to why I have been people-pleasing for so long that I'm drained, I always wondered why people do this to me despite being nice and kind. I learned it's me not them. Just recognised my flaws to fix my life. I hope I get there one day.

@ezazkhan4233

Ай бұрын

yes bro im people please must problem

“By saying yes to the world, i was saying no to myself.”

Your “yes” will have lot more value if you learn the art of saying “no” ❤️

Today I realized , I'm not being kind to people ...I'm a people pleaser.. thanks mam ..for the happy realization😃

@supriya488

3 жыл бұрын

Same experience

@elizabethhewitt9723

Ай бұрын

People kept telling me I was SO nice... One even said "Your too nice"... This video resonates with me. I will no longer say no to myself and yes to others at my expense.

Start treating yourself with love and respect ... Don't be afraid of loosing people be afraid of loosing yourself ..... Thank you mam

This is one of the best speech on people pleasing one can find

@SawRinku

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@ezazkhan4233

Жыл бұрын

what solution mam people plesing behavior im must problem

The moral is be good , be loyal , kind , loving , caring but start doing all these with yourself first .

@gracesanity6314

4 жыл бұрын

YES, YES.

@jinujisnaa

3 жыл бұрын

💯💯

@amanpreet2005

3 жыл бұрын

Yes💯💯

Really she is right. wen U extra nice to people, then they started ignoring you

I feel happy that people speak about these issues openly ...but at the same time Im sad that this 'message ' conveyed by her only reaches a small % of population. .....this should reach the majority!

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

thank you for your comments and engagement. There are some very trivial and overlooked behaviors which generally hamper our growth in career and in life. I have written about such behaviors in a book. My book, "My Life I Decide" is now available on Amazon worldwide in Print and Kindle formats. If you love my talks, the book is better. Do pick up a copy and it would really be helpful.

I too have faced similar challenges. When I realised that people pleasing doesn't really make me happy, I stopped doing it. My mother was a people pleaser and expected me to be the same. I suffered and learned from my mistake. I like your honest revelation. I can relate to you.

@SawRinku

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you. Do look for more videos on my youtube channel.

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

thank you for your comments and engagement. There are some very trivial and overlooked behaviors which generally hamper our growth in career and in life. I have written about such behaviors in a book. My book, "My Life I Decide" is now available on Amazon worldwide in Print and Kindle formats. If you love my talks, the book is better. Do pick up a copy and it would really be helpful.

I'm having the habbit of people pleaser, it's a syndrome,it's a disease which I carried on throughout my life,thank you mam for your valuable speach now I feel I was born and take my life in to a new way,

@monurajput5608

Жыл бұрын

I have been a people pleaser since my teenage days .I have lack of confidence and social anxiety. I was bullied in school too. I remember I was not like this until the age of 10-12. My father is a people pleaser too and has ADHD. Is genetics a cause ? Or bullying?

It seems that someone is narrating my emotions. This video has changed my life. Thank you Mam.

I never comment on any video.. This is the first time because mam your story has really compelled me to do so.. Don't be afraid of loosing people be afraid of loosing yourself ☺aapne aankhein khol di aaj .. Thank you so much mam

Order people. Dont please anyone in life except our parents. Not even our partner or kids. No one is forever everyone flys at one stage. Just please your parents who love you infinitely.

@Sunshine-yk2eg

2 жыл бұрын

I suggest you should watch the TedTalk by Salma Hindy

@nushs3191

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sunshine-yk2eg I love Salma Hindy's TedX on people pleasing! Hear Hear! She said it right about parents too.

Congratulations on overcoming all the issues and getting to be comfortable with who you are, and not what people want you to be!

One of the best Ted talks I've come across so far, This is definitely going to help so many including me to get out of this people pleasing syndrome.

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

thank you

@pallavisreetambraparni6995

4 жыл бұрын

rinkuji this is so true for many of us women

@realandrare1338

3 жыл бұрын

@@SawRinku thanks a lot for this session bcoz i faced exactly same issues it was like u R talking about my life.. Thanks a lot.. Now i know whats wrong with me. I got answers.

@kritikasharma4061

3 жыл бұрын

@@realandrare1338 Same here

One thing I realised through her is that it's so important to acknowledge our flaws and work on them. Letting go of the idea that we're perfect and the issue lies with the world. But the truth is we attract what we are !

Watching this changed my whole outlook!!! Because I have people pleased for so long I lost myself

your "yes" will have a lot more value when you learn the art of saying "no".. nicely said

@SawRinku

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you. Do look for more videos on my youtube channel.

@vijendrabhargava07

5 жыл бұрын

@@SawRinku Mam, I have found myself in your talks.Thank you for such a wonderful speech.

Ma'am, this is my story too. I faced the same challenges at work. Its really painful when people take us for granted. I have been wired in such a way that if my yes can make others happy then it is fine. I thought having an innocent kind image gives love in return. I was wrong

@nasarhussain8396

5 жыл бұрын

I believe this pleasing syndrome is a hrash outcome of present society and its structure. But, since it is a problem we got to have a solution and come out of it as quickly as possible. World is in huge scarcity of intellectual diversity, so we need to stop this mimicking behaviour which is very much prevalent in India. If it is not possible or difficult, try to learn from nature like; its diversity, wellbeing of all flora and fauna, rejuvenating capicity. Good luck, i hope they will discover themselves very soon. In the present civilisation there are numerous ways by which any body can achieve whatever he/she desires.😎..

@neollalobo

5 жыл бұрын

There's no room for naive people dear. Forget the past..request God for wisdom for your day to day life and long term plans.

@championschoiceas2085

5 жыл бұрын

Sruthi_Happy soul me too

@ravichandra3210

5 жыл бұрын

It is a hard fact to digest that most humans around us are ungreatful pricks who deserve zero respect n kindness.

@TheKarankansal

5 жыл бұрын

Sruthi_Happy soul just follow your work path.

World would treat you the way you treat yourself wow wonderful line .

Say no wen u want to.. with no excuse rather. I would have really loved to.. Practice self love. accept and approve of yourself Be authentic about your feelings. Share your opinions and be true to your feelings speak up on what hurts u in a respectful way. Don't be afraid to loose people be afraid to loose yourself. When u accept you're self the world will follow suit. Be willing to leave on your own terms and improve your self esteem. Whenever u r saying yes to others make sure you are not saying no to you're self.

People Pleasing Syndrome - Finally I got a good name to address my nature. Thank you Rinku. I am amazed by both your language and the core subject of the speech. I wouldn't say from today onward I am gonna change this habit. Because its not a habit. This nature is the most deep rooted one which we cant easily have a good control on unless we are aware of it throughout the time we deal with people. Actually, the first challenge is to hear what really our heart says. The truth our heart wants is so subtle that we have to be in peace to hear the true demand of our heart. Its an Art to say NO when it is required because first of all knowing what we want itself is a challenge as we are implanted with this nature for decades since our birth. However, towards excellence is the mission of life and let us learn the art asap without losing hope. Cheers my dear guys over there with PPS.

@devendra-2095

4 жыл бұрын

Javith...Nice and ur english is very good.

@simpleliving3795

4 жыл бұрын

Very nicely put 👏

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

Javith and others, thank you for your comments and engagement. There are some very trivial and overlooked behaviors which generally hamper our growth in career and in life. I have written about such behaviors in a book. My book, "My Life I Decide" is now available on Amazon worldwide in Print and Kindle formats. If you love my talks, the book is better. Do pick up a copy and it would really be helpful.

@gajananpunjapwar3919

Жыл бұрын

Me also 🤗

This is so me.. it reminds me of all the things i did to please people and in return i got nothing except for loosing my self respect..Thankyou so much Rinku for this beautiful speech

Thank you Rinku, imagine it had taken me 3 decades to find you, i have always had a feeling that one day someone would come along and give me the answers to the problems i have been facing in my life. Now i feel liberated and happy. Kindly visit more and more people and give them this messenger. It is liberating. Thank you.

@SawRinku

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@ezazkhan4233

Жыл бұрын

right

@ezazkhan4233

Жыл бұрын

what sloution bro

When we change the inside, the mind, everything around us change as well. She's amazing!

There is no love greater than self love ,no respect greater than self esteem . Following our own mind & soul is greatest acheivement of life i.e true

First time KZread recommendation has recommended correctly. Thanks a lot KZread. Thanks a lot Rinku for the root cause and the solution.

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

Teja, thank you for your comments and engagement. There are some very trivial and overlooked behaviors which generally hamper our growth in career and in life. I have written about such behaviors in a book. My book, "My Life I Decide" is now available on Amazon worldwide in Print and Kindle formats. If you love my talks, the book is better. Do pick up a copy and it would really be helpful.

9:49 Amazingly explained mam - when heart is saying no but we keep saying yes from outside..this is completely people pleasing..Great

I can truly relate to this one. I also want to learn to say NO to others.

ma'am when I was listening you the last 20 minutes I was thinking, that someone else is telling my history to me thank you

I have been on this journey for 2.5 years now....and its been life changing...listening to your words reminded me once again of my life changing journey

I'm here in 2024 and so glad I listened to this TED talk! Such an eye opener and enlightening too, for me the people pleaser and enabler. Rinku is such a blessing.

You were able to express each and every thing with a lot of clarity. Nice.

Your a big inspiration for me .I completely related to you COMPLETELY..

An eye-opener indeed!

Exactly the same what I suffer.... Thanks a lot

Wonderful. You reflect me. Now I dont bother about others. I am at peace. But still dont open up to anyone. Best thing is looking inside n be a witness as Lord Krishna said. Tq

Totally totally totally could relate to this! It seemed like my inner self is telling me what i am, throughout the talk.And yes, I am trying to move away the "people pleasing syndrome" from my life. A truly motivational talk!!!

Amazing...the experience literally touched me!

I m also people pleaser Now I realized.... I will be myself... Thank you very much madam

@SawRinku

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

It's true mam we are the one who teaches the world how to treat us... MUST WATCH FOR EVERYONE

this is exactly me. Thanks a lot, Rinku Ji.

Bravo!!! I accept myself the way I am..

Point by point....such a relatable story

Thank you so much madam. You have helped me to realize that me too is a People Pleasing Person. Started changing myself.

Very true...people pleasing can cost our life..

It’s like I’ve finally understood myself !! Till this day I didn’t know what was making me so unhappy . When u r a people pleaser you are so vulnerable and fragile . Because u expect people to treat you like u treat them . I wish I can be as strong as u Ms.Rinku . I hope I can free myself from this chronic “illness”. Thank u very much .

Use to suffer from People pleaser syndrome. When I changed family and friends say, "I am very stubborn and adamant to change". Just a few days ago a friend of mind thought I disrespected another friend just because I did not want to be part of their plan.

I am trapped in this kind of situation for my whole life, and I feel lucky that I can hear your talk. I think that I am ready for change. Thank you!

One of the best Ted talks, thank you 🙏

I could totally relate to your story. Even I have been consciously taking steps not be a people pleaser. At times even when you help someone for long period of time, people tend to take you for granted. I need to work on this. And yes saying 'No' is big part of this. The first time I did it, it took lot of courage to say No.

Marvelous ....I'm exactly in this situation

Rinku - your talk came on my youTube page just at the right time. I am going through exactly the same thing at this very moment in my workplace. Everything you said resonates with my current situation but I dont implement what all you said. After hearing this I am going to ensure I not only implement but also not get perturbed by it. The key is not to feel guilty after what we say or do. The opposite person will never let go of an opportunity to put you down, make you feel guilty and unwanted, it is how we want us to feel, is more important. Thank you Thank you Thank you. I can see my path more clearly now and after this my journey will be about myself and not others.

You are truely an inspirational.. Lot of respect..

Madam, your talk helped me to introspect myself. Myself being a people pleaser has led to many problems for my self. I have started to realign myself !!!!!

God bless you Rinku....!!

stories tell us help everybody , be nice , love everybody etc etc but in real life people take advantage & we end up unhappy . good talk

Powerful talk and beautifully explained…..A must watch for everyone…..!!!

Absolutely blissful!!

rinkuji you have opened my eyes

Really great point that if you aren't honest with people your relationships will be superficial.

I could completely relate to each and every word. Thank you for spreading awareness about this.

Thank you for helping me realise what has been happening in my life too. I could never understand why everyone close to me would take me for granted and disrespect me. "its the barrier to sabotage my happiness" liberation. x

Oh god.. this is exactly the way i feel.. i am so so similar to this lady.. thank you so much for delivering your experience maam.. i hope for the original version of myself to thrive😊

One of the best speeches I I have ever had !! And absolutely my story too !! Thanks

I know the feeling what you told. Thank you for sharing everything. Now I am going to take action .

Clap clap. Now at this age I realized how I should behave. Thank you dear, for your guidance. God bless you.

finally I got the answer .the best solution of my story....thank you maam...

Thanks a lot for sharing this mam.. People pleasing syndrome is a problem I suffered with for years until I also came to the realization that it was a problem with me and not the others. I could totally relate to your story..

You go girl👍👍what a talk! almost every woman's story..

@rahulkambale2627

5 жыл бұрын

I think it is a issue of mine.

I am not a people pleaser but was once a very blunt person. I realized saying direct No affected my friendships and relations. I have very very limited friends but still, feel the ones who can manipulate others and become people pleasers have more friends but after this video, I think, inside they are all alone. Sad but true.. In the end, you have no one except yourself.

Thank you so much for sharing the solution of this.. You Are really kind because you have and You are still encouraging so many people.... 🙏

Very true I have had this issue and realized this much later in life. 200% true and amazing talk. Only in movies we see the good wins over the bad and is handed over the trophy for all the goodness embodied and wins the heart of the prince charming. But not at all true. We women are brought up teaching us to be good always and be down to earth kind and agreeable etc etc etc

@stillwatersnightsky6533

5 жыл бұрын

Same here Nisha.. I realised this much much later in life......

You touched my heart Rinku

Wow, Ms.Rinku..!! Perfect solution... A BIG thank you to you..!!

I am old Rinku & suffering from people pleasing syndrome. Couldnt stop writing comment before listening to complete talk.

Thank you So much Ma'am, for sharing your story , as it really motivated me a lot, as I was also going through the same situation. And now I find courage to face the world by knowing who I'm and where I have to be with no more syndromes of people pleasing.

Most of us having this problem. But unaware of it. Thanks for sharing your experience dear

Ms. Rinku thank you so much for eye opening speech I have been doing this people pleasing since so many years and your thoughts gaves me right direction to overcome success barriers.

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

Nitin, thank you for your comments and engagement. There are some very trivial and overlooked behaviors which generally hamper our growth in career and in life. I have written about such behaviors in a book. My book, "My Life I Decide" is now available on Amazon worldwide in Print and Kindle formats. If you love my talks, the book is better. Do pick up a copy and it would really be helpful.

Excellent talk! God bless you my Divine Sister!

Once upon a time Me too people pleaser. As like her life i am also face one incident. It gives clue to think about who am I and what i really want. And now i am in my first stage of my dream. One day I will hunt my dream. This video gave the wonderful fuel to lead my self as like me. Thank you Rinku. Love u lotttt.

A very powerful talk.... Must watch for everyone.... Teaches us about the power to say NO and not be a people pleasure when your heart is saying a big no ...

Agreed with each word spoken. Thank you for wonderful speech..v articulate

It's better to have just a couple of genuine individual as our friends and supporters than hundreds of fair weather friends who exploit and gain advantage of our sense of modesty and decency. At the beginning of my career as a teacher, I struggled with the aspect of class room management in my attempt at being nice to the students. Gradually, the same students who I wanted to be disciplined from within started to ride roughshod over me. When they started to behave like bulls in a China shop, I decided to be stern, less lenient and assertive. Through trial and error methods I have been making giant strides ahead. This talk is a shot in the arm. Brilliant talk about a common emotional pest.

Great talk, keep up the good work and best wishes! Love from Canada!

Your words inspired me a lot...Even I have the potential to do my work perfectly and have a very good qualification.But the people pleasing syndrome is a disease.Even I have started to say back what ever Ifeel from my heart. Thank you friend

It's mine story too.. Today I awoke with depressed mood but your thoughts became like tonic for me... thanks a lot ...

@rahulkambale2627

5 жыл бұрын

In my case, this thing is at peak, due to which I am suffering from clinical depression.

@DanishAnsari-zz3cn

4 жыл бұрын

Arpita tambe hii miss wrong

@SawRinku

4 жыл бұрын

Friends, thank you for your comments and engagement. There are some very trivial and overlooked behaviors which generally hamper our growth in career and in life. I have written about such behaviors in a book. My book, "My Life I Decide" is now available on Amazon worldwide in Print and Kindle formats. If you love my talks, the book is better. Do pick up a copy and it would really be helpful.

admire TED talks all the time...

What an Authentic way to express the basic root cause of people who can be great in every aspect of their lives. Simply Hats Off!! Keep Shinning Always!

I am suffering from same problem and, people always took me as granted and now after watching this video i started analysing myself and things starts changing according..Thanks for sharing your views....

Thank you for your life learning story. I am a people pleaser and I have realized that I am loving others more than myself which is not right at all. I promise to start loving and respect and myself enough.

Thanks for sharing. I can relate completely.

Great talk. Other readers - There is a book called "Dont say yes, when you want to say No". It helps to comeout of people pleaing syndrome.

Amezing.every single word is true...saying no when you really want say no is the key word.self love is the only way to overcome this habit.

This is best answer I came across and positive solution. Thank you.

Your past story is my present story I want to over come this . I feel your speech .

Ur words reflecting my past

Thankyou so much for the outspoken words

One of best and truly profound talk on TEDx, thanks a lot Madam