"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I wish there was a way for everyone that commented to come together physically so we could all be alone together ❤️

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

Ай бұрын

That is a beautiful thought ❤ While it’s not the same, I hope that people’s comments here are comforting, that they give a sense that you are not alone.

@user-my9pz7iw2k

Ай бұрын

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD very much so, thank you 🩷

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

Ай бұрын

@@user-my9pz7iw2k You're welcome!

You are such an insightful person. This is really immensely important. Many things can do that. My case is very unique, and is virtually a lost cause. I am trying to accept this. It is the biggest tragedy I have ever endured. MAJOR TRAUMA.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

20 күн бұрын

It sounds like you have suffered a lot, and I wish for you that you find a way out of your aloneness. You say that your case "is virtually a lost cause." In my mind, the word "virtually" offers hope and the possibility of finding a path out -- even though it sounds like your path is a difficult one.

@robertafierro5592

2 күн бұрын

I don't know your story, but I believe you. When someone tells me that they're hurting, I always believe it. Never give up. That's the one true choice you really have. Once it's over, it's really over.

Thanks Doctor

Good advice

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

Ай бұрын

I’m glad you found it helpful.

thank you

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

18 күн бұрын

You're welcome :)

I have felt that way my entire life and only feel better now that I realize I am awesome and everyone else is a total asshole.

This emptiness I have I need something to fill this emptiness

I don't feel empty, but I do feel miserable a lot. I was taken to my supervisor's office with her and a high-ranking chef. They (or mostly the chef) told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much. Not THAT type of touch, of course not! Just casual ones, like on arms or shoulders. I was always very outgoing at work. When I asked her if anyone reported a complaint, she said it didn't matter. She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, and that I pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school (I work at a university's catering service). She told me I shouldn't tell my stories because they may be inappropriate to my coworkers. Now yeah, I pretty much don't have a filter, and sometimes I guess I do say "inappropriate" stuff at work, but not horribly nor intentionally. I like to joke around and have fun with my coworkers (and I know they like to have fun with each other too), but I guess it isn't like that after all (more or less). I really didn't get specific information from the chef about what and who. She understands and likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits, for good behavior and my coworkers' sake. And again, that I shouldn't touch my coworkers (shoulders or arms) without their consent. But seriously, I'm not a creep! I don't randomly hug people or anything like that. I didn't mean to be so "handsy" (I say loosely). I'm so embarrassed about the office lecture. I am not like Biden at all. I'm really not. Have I really gone that far at work? It shouldn't have gotten to that point. And I expressed this story in Dan Schneider videos, and a few people have either beaten me up or lectured me. That's why I'm starting to wonder if the office thing really does make me a bad person.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that you are struggling so much with this. It sounds like your supervisor and her chief were trying to get across to you that the problem is with needing more boundaries than you realized, not that you are a bad person (it's not about ill-intent). When you said that you feel miserable a lot, I wonder if that is because of what you described at work, or if that existed before and this just made it worse, at least for the moment. If you don't fully understand what you were doing that was inappropriate or doubt that you were really doing something inappropriate, you may want to talk with a therapist. They can help you sort this out in a hopefully safe environment. (I'd say you could ask for my feedback at work, but I suspect that this would not be comfortable or feel safe.) Good luck with this.

@johnrainsman6650

Жыл бұрын

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD What do you mean by "or if that existed before and this just made it worse, at least for the moment"? This is the first time the conversation about touching and filter ever occurred

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

Жыл бұрын

@@johnrainsman6650 I was referencing when you said, "...I do feel miserable a lot." I did not know whether this misery was something you felt before this incident or if you were only referring to how you've felt after it."

@johnrainsman6650

Жыл бұрын

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD oh it’s newer; absolutely because of the incident

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

Жыл бұрын

@@johnrainsman6650 That's good to know.

To stop feeling alone open your heart. People will begin to notice you more and you have have spontaneous reactions to you

@andybreadley429

2 ай бұрын

Cringe

I have nobody to talk to. So whatever I am doing or not doing, I have no one to ask 😑

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

5 жыл бұрын

I am sorry that you are struggling. As I said in the video, feeling alone is incredibly painful. I know nothing about your personal struggles, but I can share this: As hard as it may be, it is often very important for people to seek out interactions and connections. Sometimes this means developing relationships from shared interests (e.g. joining a book club, hiking club). It can also help if you build on acquaintances. But keep in mind that building relationships and a sense of connection takes time. If that is too hard or it does not lead to feeling connected, it may help to seek out help, such as with self-help groups or entering therapy. I wish you well.

Ok....I give it a try.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you find the guidance in this video helps. Also, you might find some helpful information (including article and video links) on the Compassionate Self-Awareness page of my website: drbecker-phelps.com/home/csa/ I wish you well in your efforts to attain healing and growth.

Right now I'm searching

Opportunities are out of picture for now, living is postponed indefinitely

I guarantee this will happen to you if you have suffered from Narcissistic Abuse! It will happen Every Time.

The title is misleading imo. I felt empty sometimes but it’s less about the external relationships with people. But rather something else.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

5 ай бұрын

I am sorry that this video did not fit for you and that you found the title misleading. I see that you think your emptiness (which I assume is related to feeling alone) is about something other than external relationships with people. I believe that this is often the case for people, so you are not alone. Part of what I was trying to communicate -- which I'm sorry was not clear for you -- is that feeling alone is very often about what happens within you, about how you think about and relate to yourself and to others. When you see the ways in which your perspective about yourself and your relationships lead you to feel alone, you can begin to work to change the experience. Not an easy process, but the opportunity to fill your heart is there. Also, when you say that your emptiness is about something else, I'm not sure whether you know what that something else is. If you are not clear about that, one thing you might find helpful is to journal your thoughts and feelings about it. I hope you find insights and guidance in this clarification and elsewhere to help you to fill your heart.

Truth Tellers get the worst of it EVERY time.

Until recently being alone was easy.....now it is torture.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

2 ай бұрын

While I don't know what has changed for you, I am saddened to hear that you are struggling so. I believe that feeling alone can be one of the most painful experiences. I hope you continue to search for you way through your current struggles and to reach out to people for connection and help. If you need more help than family or friends can provide, please reach out to a therapist or a helpline, such as SAMSHA: www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

@kelseymathias3881

2 ай бұрын

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD Thank you so much for replying....it is too easy these days to feel lonely and anonymous...I guess lots of people feel this way lately.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

2 ай бұрын

@@kelseymathias3881 That's true. You are far from alone in this. I'm glad that you shared here, and I hope it helps even just a little to connect.

@kelseymathias3881

2 ай бұрын

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD Thank you Leslie...it does help...have a good Easter. I've subscribed to your channel.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

2 ай бұрын

@@kelseymathias3881 You're welcome. I'm glad it helps. I hope you have a good Easter, too.

Nice sentiment and all, but some people just have something objectively wrong with them. I respect your work though.

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

4 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure what you mean by people having something "objectively wrong with them." We are all flawed, so you could say that we all have something "objectively wrong" with us. But we are united by this, too, and so we are not alone in our flaws, weaknesses, or imperfections (all of which are only parts of who we are).

All these videos are about negative things that need to be fixed. Deptessibg.

NOT HAVING #FRIENDS😢😢

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

4 ай бұрын

I’m sorry to hear that you have no friends. Hard as that is, there are things you can do to change that. Upon reflection, you might realize you do have friends, though not close ones. In this case, you might consider how to strengthen those relationships. Many times when people don’t have friends, it is because they have inner struggles that lead them to push others away. If this describes you or you don’t know why you don’t have friends, then your first step may be to figure out the problem. You might find it helpful to talk with a therapist. These are just a couple of things to think about, but I hope they help. Please remember that you do not need to be alone, or to figure this out alone. Resources exist to help people. Finally, if you or anyone reading this feels highly distressed or suicidal, please reach out to the national alliance on mental health (hotline: 800-273-TALK) www.nami.org/Advocacy/Policy-Priorities/Responding-to-Crises/National-Hotline-for-Mental-Health-Crises-and-Suicide-Prevention

@Cheng-jq6fc

4 ай бұрын

​@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD I have difficulty time speaking about about my emotions & feelings...... I struggle with words to communicate with people.. so, I can't bring myself to see a therapist 😢😢😮😮 I find it difficult to be vocal about my depression and loneliness.... idk why I am the way I am 🤔😮😢😢😢😢

@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD

4 ай бұрын

@@Cheng-jq6fc That does make it more difficult but NOT impossible. It would take courage, but maybe you can send an email to a therapist, explaining your situation, just as you are explaining it to me. Then, maybe you could set up an appointment to meet with the therapist (assuming you find someone who you believe shows understanding and you can connect with ) and work slowly toward sharing. Note how much you have already shared here! It is a wonderful start.

In all seriousness, I mean, I don't want to knock this doctor. She's trying. But if only social isolation could be fixed by something as simple as not looking down at your shoes when people are around. No. It's called being physically ugly, unattractive, undesirable, awkward, and people look at you and see a monster they need to run the other way from before you even open your mouth to say word one or before they even know anything about you. Physical looks are a lottery. Lot of winners. Lot of losers. Thinking an unattractive person can just pop on a fresh coat of paint and people will love them is like thinking you can pop a fresh coat of paint on a dilapidated trailer and trick buyers into thinking it is a mansion. People just want the mansion.