Alfred's Playhouse: Internet Tragedy, Depravity, and Insanity
Жүктеу.....
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@quinnamonАй бұрын
Be sure to get your very own Quinn plush!!! After two weeks he’s GONE FOREVER!!! www.ownaj.com/collections/plushies/products/quinn-plush
@gorotainttomato6968
Ай бұрын
Ok
@pookiepie42812 ай бұрын
the fear when i put this on in the background while i draw and being acknowledged for it
@iclynnx
2 ай бұрын
I'm drawing right now too 👁👄👁 Although I actually often watch while drawing (I have my phone nearby as I listen, so I can glance and see it slightly)
@kdup-hp6zm
2 ай бұрын
same
@Casterisks
2 ай бұрын
Mood
@Sleepy-Pile-of-Ashe
2 ай бұрын
ME FR actual jumpscare-
@aluno1000xawesome
2 ай бұрын
i was drawing and when quinn said that i got startled
@ItsKoraBaraca2 ай бұрын
Did not expect to see that many warnings at the start then a minute later hear Skibidi toilet
@graphitebendy
2 ай бұрын
Gotta catch 'em all
@alankiitty
2 ай бұрын
there shouldve been a warning for that aswell /j
@vulpevulpevulpevulpevulpevulpe
2 ай бұрын
yeah
@malirious
2 ай бұрын
@@alankiittyHello there Dave Strider from the hit webcomic Homestuck
@user-nz2bp8xk5l
2 ай бұрын
fnaf blueycapsules AU
@3lean0rxoxo27 күн бұрын
The fact that she has children is horrifying to me, I beg they don't end up like her and can live a better life.
@ztitches
22 күн бұрын
@@3lean0rxoxo She has KIDS..?
@ambiiko2863
12 күн бұрын
Exactly it sounds terrifying I hope they are okay :(
@spookychords4925
10 күн бұрын
I agree. I worry for those children. Not only for the fear of indoctrination of white nationalist ideology, but for their mental well being and exposure to adult themes
@3lean0rxoxo
10 күн бұрын
@@spookychords4925 Exactly I really hope they get put into a healthier home if they haven't already even if that is cruel to say.
@Viv_0909
14 сағат бұрын
Fucking WHAT.
@ExValeFor2 ай бұрын
In all this, her telling Vivziepop to make NSFW to boost her career is just peak comedy. In a way she ended up taking that advice, which is hysterical
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
Tbf NSFW doesn't always mean porn, it's just a term for content with elements unsuitable for a social setting, like blood and gore, so Vivzie really did follow her advice.
@mingotproductions1335
2 ай бұрын
@@aesiro13 im sorry but vivzie's works have got NOTHING on Emily Youcis in terms of fucked up-ness
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
@@mingotproductions1335 Doesn't really change my point but ok :|
@Cure_Hana
2 ай бұрын
I seriously doubt Viv would just blindly take the advice of an artist who was clearly off her rocker. Plus she previously stated that her dirty and dark sense of humor mostly comes from watching shows like South Park growing up.
@lindseyeganrawding6363
2 ай бұрын
@@Cure_Hanathey mean that it’s just ironic, and let’s not forget that emily was still a minor during her early fame and (maybe?) magcon days. it was kinda disappointing to not see viv stand up for a kid:/
@bugstarcat1.112 ай бұрын
the alfred's playhouse "fandom" is a slippery slope. it goes from people enjoying the art, but despising the artist, to literal nazis and necrophiliacs. it's especially bad on tiktok, once i found someone who made alfreds playhouse self insert ocs and had drawings of them doing stuff to dead bodies. it's jarring to see how quickly people can fall down these rabbitholes because of the internet, though i understand what it's like because it has almost happened to me. the internet is an awful place.
@sexygirlmax2019
2 ай бұрын
youtube animator ANALBONES is a good example of this 😬 im very worried about him.
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
the internet boosts the hell out of a whole lot of voices that should absolutely not be in the limelight
@creamcakecoffee
2 ай бұрын
I’m in the fandom and Ofcourse like any fandom it has it’s fair share of really bad people but I honestly love the community. people in the community are really kind and have a lot of mutals on tiktok aswell as I’m in a few discord servers (don’t recommend though since I’ve heard gr00ming is common there since there are easy target since mainly the reason why people like aph is because they relate or find comfort within the show (Mainly SA which is one of the things I experienced as a kid)
@puckkrz01
2 ай бұрын
@@creamcakecoffee what do ppl in the fandom rlly do tho? I’ve seen a few ocs, but what’s the appeal of making ocs for media that is very dark in nature like this? No hate, genuinely curious!
@SuperDuperSigmaMale
2 ай бұрын
@@puckkrz01I'd image they make that art either to be edgy, out of random interest in doing so, or because they genuinely as bad as what they like and genuinely want to express for attention or something along those lines, which in my opinion makes sense because if you like something or someone fucked up you yourself have to be fucked up just as badly or nearly as badly.
@Austin_Soares2 ай бұрын
So the person that made Where the Dead go to Die was friends with Emily who made Alfred Alfer... Not gonna lie this literally explains EVERYTHING.
@gem_b7798
2 ай бұрын
He was actually her ex.
@redsnake188
2 ай бұрын
Oh that movie was freakin nuts got it for my brothers birthday
@user-nz2bp8xk5l
2 ай бұрын
fnaf blueycapsules AU
@Wrennityy
2 ай бұрын
@@user-nz2bp8xk5l why would you reply this. I am genuinely so confused how does it tie to the comment 😭😭😭😭 why did you make me remember they fucking comic 😭😭😭
@Leblenlens
2 ай бұрын
Dude I'm just starting the video and this comment is getting me ready, where the dead go to die, something i haven't heard in years unless it's me talking about it
@squibkib2 ай бұрын
I'm sorry but how do you get banned from fucking 4chan.
@obnoxious_efe420
2 ай бұрын
That's kinda impressive
@squibkib
2 ай бұрын
@@obnoxious_efe420 seriously, it is
@langustajableczna
2 ай бұрын
people get banned from image boards all the time, there are so many tutorials to go around a range ban for example. 4chan is the most normie known chan, there aren’t criminals and degenerates posting illegal stuff and bomb tutorials. You can get banned for simple spam, for example.
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
I don't know but it must've been something awful.
@langustajableczna
Ай бұрын
@@bendykid4908 literally just for being an attention whore and not posting on topic. calm down. She was postig about personal issues and venting on /f/ - a board for flash, not for anyones personal issues. Just read the rules and you will know why you might get banned
@Emperor-Quill2 ай бұрын
This is why therapy should be readily accessible. Anyway somehow I'm reminded of something I heard a long time ago. "To a simple-minded child, all support comes from good people, with good intentions. They cannot understand that someone can reach out to cure their loneliness, but poison them in a thousand other ways."
@stevebear6295
Ай бұрын
Therapy isn't a *fix* when all it is a tool to beat people into a mold. It's fascist and racist and ablist.
@goyonman9655
Ай бұрын
@@Emperor-Quill She's fine. Probably healthier than you
@paigemosher8697
16 күн бұрын
@goyonman9655 No. She is ill, ill. Not a single Trumper out there is sane in any way, shape or form. They're all demented. Anyway, you're clearly not in your right mind either. Get help.
@Lobotomized._.666
10 күн бұрын
@@goyonman9655💀
@MatchaTiramisuu
8 күн бұрын
Jesus this one hit hard. I was manipulated by adults into thinking that the "pics" I was sending was good, and I learned that sending those would give me attention.. It makes me sick now. My bf is so supportive and makes me a better person every day. I'm better :>
@bruhzzo73412 ай бұрын
Alfred Alfer is my favorite niche internet thing. It’s terrible but important to learn about the rabbit hole that made Emily what she is today and how her ignored cries for help drove her to seek community with alt right weirdos, it’s a lot more common nowadays than people would like to admit
@gem_b7798
2 ай бұрын
I hate it.
@ZethTheGoat666
2 ай бұрын
for real, especially for lonely young men
@GameGuy667
2 ай бұрын
Its almost like they're normal.
@nymphia
2 ай бұрын
@@GameGuy667 if you're normal why don't you have 100 subscribers at least
@bluemagician9724
2 ай бұрын
I went down the alt-right pipeline but it spat me out for being a degenerate but I still hate a lot of the same kind of stuff I did at the Shen Bapiro stage so I'm pretty much sandwiched in between two groups I hate, interacting with members of both and trying to ignore my acute awareness that they are what they are, occasionally being pleasantly surprised when someone isn't as bad as I thought they were or are even like me. I don't have trauma, though, which is probably why I haven't gone full stormfront daught kom
@raestarzz2 ай бұрын
Emilys saga has always been so interesting to me. Her animations of Alfred are scarily accurate to how people (such as myself) feel during these kinds of mental breakdowns. She was surprisingly in touch with herself and her emotions (albeit sometimes negatively) and I think it’s a shame she went down the path she did. She clearly wasn’t in the right mindset, and I think that community took advantage of that. Also, the tiktok “fandom” enrages me so much, but I digress.
@Egg-qc1yq
2 ай бұрын
Yeah, Alfred's playhouse is not something that should have a fandom...
@Retsiger
2 ай бұрын
It really made me so shocked on how accurate the breakdowns and other things were, especially the sa depiction. It’s so on point.
@SkeletonMischief
2 ай бұрын
i absolutely agree, I think that having a fandom over what's basically vent art for someone who's dealing with a lot is just really weird. It's odd to see that they're making a fandom out of something like this, and even if there's reasons such as finding a community that you can confine in, a rabbit hole like this isn't actually going to be a place MEANT to find help but rather dwell and fester in ones own mental spiral. I've been in groups similar, and even if it's good to find people who understand, you're not actually getting help because they're just as troubled as you are. in reality, you're just surrounded by a community that's not healthy and you're not getting the help you need. Plus, some people are just into it for the sake of liking the "edgy content", and that's a whole other topic that specifically makes me frustrated to think about. Yikes overall
@dannydanny865
Ай бұрын
Community? What neo-nazi community? If you were on /POL/ you’d realize no one there can agree on anything.
@cheese__cake
Ай бұрын
@@SkeletonMischief I guess i should be glad that im in a fandom that isn't based around something disturbing, even if the fandom im in is about a popular comment thread. I usually joke about how the hell did a youtube argument thread gained a fandom of its own, but i agree with the fact that a fandom that comes from a vent art is kind of... too odd to say the least. No offense to the ones who are in the fandom, this is just my opinion. Making a fandom out of very disturbing vent art is a whole another level, although i wouldn't generalize every person in that fandom is terrible, since i could understand that theres going to be some people that finds genuine comfort in it. However, if a fandom is made out of something disturbing, then i think its doomed to have more creeps that will take advantage of that fact.
@yeeyeeyeeye2 ай бұрын
It's a bit horrifying how similar my situation was to Emily's. I fell into the alt-right pipeline at around the same time because I had childhood trauma and undiagnosed mental illness, and I felt isolated from progressive spaces because I felt that they ignored me and my struggles. I got the help I needed and got out, but it's scary seeing a video essay of the type of person who I would have been if I weren't so lucky. As irredeemable as she has become, a small part of me still hopes she comes out of it eventually.
@tablescissors
2 ай бұрын
The alt left pipeline exists too though, but can be more toxic bc it’s so enabled and denied as similarly destructive . Detransitioners are some of the few who discuss it sanely.
@arineatsshit7955
2 ай бұрын
@tablescissors67 JESUS CHRIST you're spamming comments dude 😭 get better soon
@PearTree450
2 ай бұрын
Same, but I seriously doubt it she is in too deep. Even if she left her baby daddy is still a devout nazi and she herself was pretty influential in that community, so I doubt they'd ever let her live that down.
@mako3951
2 ай бұрын
From the beginning she has been attempting to appease and gain acceptance/fans among extremely edgy communities online. I think she has fully immersed herself in newgrounds, 4chan, etc. the entire time she has been online and molded her personality to impress them so much and so by extension the extreme political beliefs of those circles are now core a part of her personality. It's the only place that will accept her at this point, so she will double down forever and eternally spiral into her conspiracies and hatred for minorities along with the rest of those in that space. I have a personal theory based on her posts, behavior, and things I've seen in her animations that her sense of self is heavily tied to her relationships to others and she has an obsession with getting positive attention from hateful and edgy individuals. It's kind of sad and pathetic in a way. The people she wants approval from often look down on her, don't respect her, and treat her like a joke. I think in her mind, if she can get people who are so insensitive and give praise and love so conditionally to like her that must mean something and make her special.
@danmakes2497
Ай бұрын
Other people mentioned she was already like that beforehand; she chose to become worse
@RavenHeart-kh8pxАй бұрын
as a csa victim, the playhouse is extremely and painfully relatable, even pretending having a different person in your place, or pretend nothing ever happened, though triggers completely collide your world again. I was also a victim of my father, and some of the deranged things shown in Alfred’s playhouse (sh to get attention and thinking that it was deserved) I find in myself. I do not condone Emily’s behavior, but I can sympathize for her. As of now, I am still trying to heal, and I hope I can learn from this and hopefully grow.
@Shotapounder
Ай бұрын
Especially the popsicle scene.
@yeager14
20 күн бұрын
I know everyone wants to hate her husband and I get it because he is a nazi and that's bad. But he's also really grounded her. She is far less unhinged since she married him. More bigoted, yes. But also more happy, calm and much less manic. She doesn't do drugs anymore, make weird animations and from her podcast "dreamweavers" that she does with other girls in that scene she seems to be doing better mentally even if she's more of a bad person.
@AndyBrew042 ай бұрын
i do actually have you playing in the background while i draw. you cant just call me out like this
@FogWcue
2 ай бұрын
real
@TheForestor
2 ай бұрын
halyar
@christophercampbell6884
2 ай бұрын
# of people who care 👇
@-PanPan-
2 ай бұрын
@@christophercampbell6884 382 people and counting clearly.
@christophercampbell6884
2 ай бұрын
@@-PanPan- I liked the comment too
@conorhamersleyspage81732 ай бұрын
You know what they say, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall"
@bearzinluvzxd
2 ай бұрын
I thought this saying was about cocks lmao
@Wroar2020s
2 ай бұрын
Unless your ukulele girl
@FullerTube
2 ай бұрын
This biggidy boy’s a diggity dog
@conorhamersleyspage8173
2 ай бұрын
@@Wroar2020s true
@user-nz2bp8xk5l
2 ай бұрын
fnaf blueycapsules AU
@spacy256Ай бұрын
Quick note, her mentioning her excessive usage of weed is scary, as weed is known to induce psychosis in people with severe mental disorders such as schizophrenia.
@purbledude
26 күн бұрын
@@spacy256 thats only with smoking certain strains, not just weed generally iirc
@cindililly7948
18 күн бұрын
@@purbledude skunk is what's is most likely to cause symptoms of psychosis, hash not so much, but it's easier to get a hold of regular ole bud than stuff like hash soo
@sinistersalem1983
17 күн бұрын
Where'd you get that information from I've been smoking weed for God knows how long I've never hallucinated lol
@42seven
14 күн бұрын
no, it's a trigger for schizophrenia, it doesn't usually cause psychosis on it's own
@purbledude
14 күн бұрын
@@42seven yeah, as someone mentioned before its only a certain strain, i know hard drugs like heroin etc are more likely to cause psychosis with long term use
@Unkn0wingly2 ай бұрын
You know it's really crazy when there's a warning
@yourcordialvermillionchapw2398
2 ай бұрын
Oh Absolutely, the warning is warranted... Said warning was given once this time too.
@MalIguess
2 ай бұрын
Hi Unknowningly :D
@SammyRobinson622322 ай бұрын
Rip Daggz for having to edit all of this. I hope his eyes and mind are in peace
@Daggz
2 ай бұрын
It was definitely an experience 😭
@SammyRobinson62232
2 ай бұрын
@@Daggz Hope you’re okay after this. Thank you for your contribute 🫡
@devofficialchannel
2 ай бұрын
@@Daggz Hopefully, you weren't too stressed out. Wish you the best.
@manboy4720
2 ай бұрын
what an absolute soldier. i wouldn't want my worse enemy to watch any of this shit.
@Snaily_Man
2 ай бұрын
@@Daggz you we're a good one comrade
@SpaceySodaPop2 ай бұрын
2nd Edit (so this is above my original comment): Regarding the “if more people stepped in or if she reached out for professional help” portion, while I can’t say for latter, for the former, I have been informed people did actually. (I suggest reading the comment thread below this). Emily’s story is just really upsetting, because I feel like if more people stepped in or if she reached out for professional help, maybe things would have been different. All I can say is that I feel bad for the children of Emily and her gross husband. Thinking about how those kids could very likely have similar views to their parents once they grow up really scares me.
@devofficialchannel
2 ай бұрын
The children are highly likely to also be abused and Emily will call it "tough love" or "traditional discipline". Worse is if the very traumatic things that happened to Emily also happen to her children, creating a harmful cycle.
@SpaceySodaPop
2 ай бұрын
@@devofficialchannel That possibility is just as scary to think about too.
@Wulfums
2 ай бұрын
We did. We tried to pull her out. She promised she'd stop reading alt right stuff and get out of the pipline but didnt. She chose to be racist.
@SpaceySodaPop
2 ай бұрын
@@Wulfums Jesus, I’m so sorry, dumb question but are you a former friend of hers?
@Wulfums
2 ай бұрын
Yeah. I left another comment. I'm sorry I absolutely sounded hostile but I really, really wish people would try to seek out victims of people before doing vids. She knew me as "Stripe" on Facebook. I was close friends w/ her for years (Though she did also groom me.)
@trayjburner2 ай бұрын
I’ve scrolled through the comments, but haven’t seen anyone mention it, so: the warning about the movie’s depiction of necro**ilia, gore, and SA is at 44:54, but recommends to skip to 35:37, which is earlier in the video. To skip the entire movie segment, go to 50:46.
@TheIdiotChihuahua
2 ай бұрын
Thank you I was about to comment about this
@user-jo5mt7hm1y
Ай бұрын
THE GREATEST HERO OF ALL TIME 🗣️‼️‼️‼️
@PinesforCrimezАй бұрын
"No, not with a cookie monster magnet" CLASS OF 09 JUMP SCARE😭
@Nicole-x1j
Ай бұрын
FRRR
@Insert.creative_username
23 күн бұрын
"Nicoles fault.."
@alphabloodpaw3233
10 күн бұрын
@@Insert.creative_username I'm nicole by the way, hi
@NyanRainbowz2010
3 күн бұрын
WHAT THE FUK DID I DO TO HIM?!@@alphabloodpaw3233
@Ranc1d_vengance2 ай бұрын
It's so weird to me that even though Emily doesn't have DID, she had protrayed a few things that happened to me in terms of alters or switching and being hazy. Dicator Pickles is a (very glorified) version of a persecutor. And, even though people say that they are the evil alter, they can cause you to trust them through a means of lovebombing. They are seemed to be misunderstood and use their way of getting things as a means of protection. When i first watched the three episodes of Alfred's Playhouse, i felt an odd sense of comfort in just Alfred. Not the rest of the show, not the creator. Just Alfred. He acted like me as a kid when i had to deal with some triggering topics no kid should have gone through. Sure, i didn't cause a murder but in terms of outbursts in emotion, it was on the T. Its hard to explain really.
@transcreatureofchaos2 ай бұрын
I love watching hour-long videos on things I haven't heard of, thank you Quinnamon
@StrawberryCocoaPowder
2 ай бұрын
Wendy icon based
@sugarbunniez14
Ай бұрын
Wendy fan!!!!
@canceled....
Ай бұрын
Same (South park pfp 😋)
@charliegibson40162 ай бұрын
What is upsetting is that this series is a genuinely troubling psychological horror, with a lot of artistic choices genuinely being good at portraying panic attacks, overstimulation, trauma, Dissociation, SA, and even DID at times.
@jakespeer7221Ай бұрын
The craziest part of Emily’s life to me is how she managed to get kicked out of a friend group that included both the co-creator of Smiling Friends and fucking shadman???
@CharlietheMtF2 ай бұрын
"The wreched rhythm game" is fucking hillarious
@Wolfiexero
2 ай бұрын
I'm out of the loop, I played up to week 5, what happened with said wretched rhythm game?
@THE_town_fool
2 ай бұрын
@@Wolfiexerobasically most of the developers and mod makers for the game are horrible people and groomers
@heavygunner4039
2 ай бұрын
@@Wolfiexero It gained a massive modding community after week 6 and attains that to this day, reached critical mass, became cringe in the eyes of the public, lots of people known in its community did horrible things.
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
@@heavygunner4039 it's really just spread out way past the confines of the original game and it's been more or less coopted by kids to make their own stuff. which is fine, honestly, people just see kids making stuff and think its cringe lol, we did the same stuff in like 2010.
@Cade_Rufus
2 ай бұрын
I heard her say that, and was like "Eeeh... Them's fightin' words". 😹
@lemonesque_2 ай бұрын
It's so disheartening to see people like Emily; as someone who was in a similar situation as her, it's also a bit horrifying how I might have turned out like her if the dice rolled a bit differently and I didn't get the help I needed.
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
its always terrifying seeing internet cases that really resonate with you at the beginning before diving into the deep end. really gives a lot of perspective about how some small key things can completely change your trajectory in life.
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
It sucks that you had to go through a similar situation. I'm glad things worked out for you, at least.
@rosiv9617
Ай бұрын
I just hope people who are similarly traumatized and don't have access to the resources they need, know that they don't have to turn out like her. They can choose to be better people than her, in spite of all of the suffering they endured. The cycle of trauma doesn't have to be continued.
@AvafaidАй бұрын
"I do not owe you people anything, I do not know who you are, let me be autistic in peace." Gospel was spoken today
@gothicwvlff2 ай бұрын
17:20 im so autistic i felt my phantom ears perk up when i processed the class of 09 reference
@squibkib
2 ай бұрын
same bro. same.
@aresknight12
Ай бұрын
VERY REAL
@Hshsgsggshdh
Ай бұрын
Me too man
@yasabushieowhagaksure
Ай бұрын
ME TOO
@totallyn0taferret
Ай бұрын
REAL OMG
@mr.outlaw2312 ай бұрын
I feel like I could make a joke connecting Emily with H.P. Lovecraft, but my Yithian partner says that it is too soon. I'll come back in a century to say it.
@Vesperad0
Ай бұрын
I will hold you to this. Just don't ask how
@mushmush4980
Ай бұрын
Pretty accurate. Both of these people only got their deranged views due to mental illness, with Lovecraft denouncing them when he regained his sanity
@M00NFL0W3RR._
Ай бұрын
@@Vesperad0ill stay for the journey lol
@meghanrodriguez2393
Ай бұрын
I'll be awaiting for this moment
@Kolyawearsheels
Ай бұрын
We'll be waiting
@kiara_way2 ай бұрын
Another detail I’d like to add is that Emily was once in a relationship with Jimmy Screamerclauz, and made Alfred’s Surprise after their breakup, which is probably why she used his character Labby in that animation who is depicted abandoning Alfred. She uses the soundtrack from the Land before Time in that video too, which she says was the last movie she watched with Jimmy. Further proof that the Alfred animations are probably just a projection of herself. Heres the podcast where she says all this: kzread.info/dash/bejne/mXaW3Mugoqvaj6g.htmlsi=EPDj4O5qjFjD1uAb
@zeroanonymity97362 ай бұрын
I feel... God I feel horrible finding out about this. I nearly, NEARLY fell down the same rabbit hole she did and I'm so relieved I avoided it in the end. As a result though I can't help but wish she would have been able to avoid it too. There's something about that sort of absurdly over-the-top offensive way of making art I enjoy, how someone can just let loose and be as vile and gross as they want to be to make a point. It almost guarantees the people who may need to see it will stick around and people who don't will leave quickly. Knowing just a little of what happened to her and of how that came out through her work... It tears me up.
@zeroanonymity9736
2 ай бұрын
This was fantastically done and I hope this gets far more views. If it helps, the algorithm actually recommended it to me so you're doing something right! Subscribed because of it
@amusingmoose9924
Ай бұрын
I agree with that second paragraph. It’s so fascinatingly raw and uninhibited, and I almost want to encourage this primal level of creation. Almost.
@zeroanonymity9736
Ай бұрын
@@amusingmoose9924 There's a lot of other debased works like this out there, they're just understandably not talked about often. It's a valid method of expression and can be done in a healthy way, just not one that's liked by a lot of people haha
@cosmicfindings2 ай бұрын
i almost cried midway through the video bc of 1. the whole "i hurt myself because this is the only way people show concern about me" thing, and the bit about pickles taking over everytime something traumatic happens so that alfred may live without it. im not a trauma holder myself, but i am an alter in a system, and i am not the og host. so i get it, sort of. and the whole s/h thing. i dont really self harm, havent for 2 years. but i understand the feeling that you have to have something major happen for people to show concern. because you're isolated, and you get so used to the people around you just knowing the carefully curated version of you who has no problems, and is much more mentally stable than you actually are. you start to believe that the people around you arent going to care unless you find a way to make them see how much you're suffering. i dont ever plan on actually enacting any harm on myself. but i get the urge sometimes.
@DarlingMissDarling
2 ай бұрын
Hey. I'm just a stranger on the internet but I read all of your comment and genuinely wish you well. 🧡
@DefinitelyIsPad
2 ай бұрын
i hope your doing well now
@Trevthehedgehog7
2 ай бұрын
I hope you are well, fellow pilgrim of the Internet. May the Force be with you. 💜
@SkeletonMischief
2 ай бұрын
I absolutely can understand this feeling, even if our experiences are different. The urge is always going to linger, but I promise it gets better. Sometimes you're in a place where you don't realize that, but I promise as someone who was once there that things do change and you do grow bigger around that circle of grief, pain, and isolation. I wish you well, and thank you for sharing this even if you just wanted to get something out there. It's a vulnerable thing to admit
@fuzzybuzzy3159
2 ай бұрын
Much love to you and the rest of y'all in the meat mech
@Sir_Quirrel2 ай бұрын
Learning about a infamous person the internet and their derogatory webtoon which involved some of the worst subject matter I've ever heard of while simultaneously witnessing the pyrocynical tf2 clip for the 34th time. THIS.. is the content I signed up for, thanks Quinnamon
@AwesomeYena
2 ай бұрын
The what clip?
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
@@AwesomeYena1:46
@cannibalisticcereal28982 ай бұрын
Yes, I’m able to understand the Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy for what it is while acknowledging that it’s also just terrible and disgusting and the actual worst thing ever. But it’s so real and just so raw in an unforgiving way that I’m disgusted with myself for how much I can relate to such an awful thing. It messed me up bad for like a week after seeing it and still messes with me to this day and I regret ever watching it and learning more, but I feel that I needed to in a way. It’s helped me understand myself a bit better but of course, that’s not enough to justify its existence or make it ok. But still.
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
You shouldn't feel bad for relating to the show or even the creator, just make sure you don't fall down the same dark path.
@Retsiger
2 ай бұрын
@@aesiro13I second this
@Alexstilldraws2nd
2 ай бұрын
I thrid this
@cannibalisticcereal2898
2 ай бұрын
@@aesiro13 Completely valid concern and I appreciate you saying it but just to clarify I do NOT relate in any way to the terrible things she’s done/said and only ever related to theme of trauma from childhood SA in I do NOT agree with any of her opinions or think they’re ok ❌
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
@@cannibalisticcereal2898 Never said you did, just glad to hear it.
@Kost1_Box2 ай бұрын
The warnings had me GAGGED. I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE ALL OF THOSE WARNINGS FOR A DOG SHOW ON YT!??!?!??!!?
@WolfShenda2 ай бұрын
The audible "oh no..." I let out as KZread recommended me this... I used to love her work, because it really did portray just how isolation and being easily overstimulated can feel just... like a nightmare. I drew her some fanart back in the day, she even asked me hey I love this, do you do animation because I'm looking for volunteers for the Alfred Alfer movie, I told her that sadly not but I can contribute some drawings; she never got back to me. Sure wouldn't want to work with her nowadays... "I needed to do some research, so I went on /pol" oh nooo...
@Vortexiez2 ай бұрын
The way i paused what i was drawing when you called out artists who use these types of videos for background ambience like ive never been so scared drawing objects on ibispaintx
@akiraisnothere5644
2 ай бұрын
That scared me too-
@Senkoki2 ай бұрын
As someone with DID (formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder) this is unfortunately not much worse than the average media depiction of it which is usually just "oo scary serial killer alter"
@mj-sw2nh
2 ай бұрын
Hey fellow system! I’m hopeful we can get some positive did rep soon, even the best did rep I’ve seen in the majoritypublic (moonknight) involves an alter who kills people fora living. Did systems literally just CHILL and VIBE I don’t understand why people are so convinced we beat ass for a living 😭😭😭 do they realize that the severe childhood trauma we experience will most likely prevent us from being abusive, and the cases like this are so rare that it shouldn’t even be considered for the entire did community. I could talk about this allday lmao 😭😭😭 nice to meet you!
@Senkoki
2 ай бұрын
@@mj-sw2nh Yeah, its wild. Ultimately I know it's just reflective of the typical ableist trope of oo mentally ill person is evil and crazy but still its like. We're the way we are because of trauma, why would we want to impart that kinda pain onto others out of nowhere?
@smugmari
2 ай бұрын
@@mj-sw2nh EXACTLU WJY DO PEOPLE THINK WE KILL PEOPLE 😭😭 WHERE DID IT COME FROM???
@user-ds6go2cq4s
2 ай бұрын
@@Senkoki I don’t have DID, but I can say that sometimes people overlook how offensive something is because it doesn’t affect them, or they won’t see it from the other groups perspective. Have you seen how we treated Japanese people back in the early days of the internet, a lot of people were just treating them as extension of themselves into “Japanese culture”, by that I mean anime. Sorry that we represent you in that way, but we would never do it intentionally
@user-ds6go2cq4s
2 ай бұрын
@@smugmari Let’s be honest here, someone who has an alter that kills people, is the perfect set up to a horror movie😂(no offense)
@PicketPolecat2 ай бұрын
Ah yes, Emily: The classic cautionary tale on how edge can go too far Honestly, the internet was probably the worst environment for her to be in general, let alone the Wild West era where slurs and bile were being thrown around like candy. The internet was always a dumpster fire, even long before social media made it worse.
@juniarchiveАй бұрын
Weird shit aside its actually incredible how quick she picked up animation and how good she got at it for 15. Teens in the 2000s/2010s were built different when it came to animation
@amusingmoose9924
Ай бұрын
And flash game makers. I took a game design class fivish years ago in college, and it was so hard to for me to understand.
@TheScaftin2 ай бұрын
This video has been so weird and disheartening to watch. I grew up on newgrounds and I remember watching Emily’s animations. I never dug deep into who she was and just let my too edgy and desensitized teenage boy brain laugh at what was on the screen. It’s so jarring seeing someone I used to watch have such horrible and bigoted beliefs, but I understand how it happens. Being in those spaces can easily lead to falling down the alt right pipeline, especially at that time. I made it out, but it’s a reminder that a lot of others didn’t. Keep in touch with your friends guys, isolation and seeking validation leaves you *very* open to bad actors. Ask them how they’re doing, be a good actor in their life, your support and voice can be all the difference sometimes. ❤️
@DarlingMissDarling
2 ай бұрын
I love everything about this comment. Thanks for trying to put good shit out into the world, dude 👌🏽
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
That's good advice, man.
@Prettybloodfan12 ай бұрын
Watching hour long documentaries is one of my favorite passtimes
@liviwaslost
2 ай бұрын
Same
@funnyguy57802 ай бұрын
emily and alfred fascinate me. emily might not *have* d.i.d.- but as someone who was diagnosed late in life that also projected through art long before that diagnosis was ever considered, it. is very reminiscent of that. alfred is very very clearly a vessel for something emily is dealing with, whether or not She is aware of the depths of it all.
@SMILINGROADKILLАй бұрын
The fact that dictator alfred/pickles admits that he's the one that takes over alfreds body when he's going through trauma is a horrifying thought when you realize a possible theory. Episodes one and two were happening in alfreds mind, while his physical body (pickles controlling it) was going through trauma in real time. While alfred was getting violated with a popsicle, pickles had probably taken over at the last second so alfred could go to his mental playhouse and not actually physically deal with it, which is why we only see the beginning of it and never what happens during or after. Because alfred wasn't there to physically see it. It was pickles.
@Following.The.Extras2 ай бұрын
I am currently aggressively drawing The Binding of Isaac characters (and a lot of mlp) Thank you so very much. Though that was scary being acknowledged.
@quinnamon
2 ай бұрын
which mlp characters i like starlight
@smugmari
2 ай бұрын
I LOVE THE BINDING OF ISAAC THE BINDING OF ISAAAC FAN SPOTTED
@fortniteballs-fq9ng
2 ай бұрын
@@smugmari I LOVE THE BINDING OF ISAAC TOO GRAHHHH (and omori is an masterpiece)
@rsj2877
2 ай бұрын
@@quinnamon yeah, its neat to know oyher interest you may have. (this ain't an Bot response, I SWEAR!!)
@B20K3
2 ай бұрын
@@smugmariOmori Profile Pic sighted.
@pappo4472 ай бұрын
Gulp
@jimboroyale
2 ай бұрын
whats going on pap fam!
@SwampyFlowers447
2 ай бұрын
Gulp 3
@NewSonyWonderHappyMadisonFan
2 ай бұрын
zoinks
@Glub-46
2 ай бұрын
Jinkies
@AoDahRoh21404
2 ай бұрын
@@Glub-46 Ruh-roh
@Jumpm4nАй бұрын
This is the first video ever that made me genuinely go like "ok, that's enough Internet for today."
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
Yeah, this was kind of scary.
@godzillapark90752 ай бұрын
43:17 she got banned on fucking 4chan... What the fuck how 😭
@moonlitcameraa
2 ай бұрын
not even the site with the most nazis/racists/homophobes liked her 😭
@Gnocchi-rw5iu
Ай бұрын
How do you get kicked out of the internets trash can???
@SwaggyG_21022 ай бұрын
Wasn't expecting you of all people to cover this person in particular.
@TheMikeNos2 ай бұрын
So, basically, therapy should be free to prevent this.
@Trevthehedgehog7
2 ай бұрын
And yet, it's not. Because we live in a Dystopian Society.
@torytellstalesАй бұрын
Call me a sensitive content viewer or extremely sympathetic/empathetic person, but I'm starting to realize my biggest trigger is cartoon dog characters being portrayed as necrophiles/serial killers/evil people. Ever since seeing "Ren Seeks Help", this type of portrayal in cartoon dogs just makes my stomach churn. Like obviously I don't mind seeing a cartoon dog be a villain like in a kid friendly cartoon way, but once they start doing visually unpleasant things, I draw a line.
@MurdocNiccalsTheBestBassist
Ай бұрын
@@torytellstales I'm not an easily triggered person, but I totally get where you're coming from. I watched Ren Seeks Help at a young age since I was (and still kinda am) a Ren & Stimpy fan, but that episode really rubbed me the wrong way back then, even now it really freaks me out
@archieman68
29 күн бұрын
I completely get it,as a child those "haunted" animatronic toy dolls/teddy bears used to send me straight to tears and they still make me uneasy idk what it is about seeing such cute things made evil for the sake of it makes me uncomfortable
@Mersko-Jammer2 ай бұрын
The Ticci Toby fit goes crazy
@empolanfan2 ай бұрын
The way Emily talked about making the Albert movie almost reminds me of how Grant Morrison talks about the making of a hypersigil but in reverse, refusing to let it out so that the power remains until the moment its released. Interesting to learn about a creator going down a very bad rabbit hole of nonsense and how it can latch onto ones' mental illness, especially in echo chambers of other weirdos like /pol/, looking forward to seeing more content!
@Dense-Comms2 ай бұрын
“The Leviathans are coming for you” phrase should honestly be used more. Its so funny knowing the context XD
@Mary.jayde_mj2 ай бұрын
7:23 that actually scared me while I was making character references for art fight😭😭
@ashfur73872 ай бұрын
There's a lot of gross people in this fandom. From nazis to those who make disgusting fanworks
@8-ballcoverofleftflanks633
2 ай бұрын
Doesnt surprise me. Emily's one herself.
@ashfur7387
2 ай бұрын
@@8-ballcoverofleftflanks633 yeah there's one writer that writes cp of the characters... It's gross
@Shotapounder
Ай бұрын
No such thing as writing cp, are you under 15 or something?@@ashfur7387
@AwesomeYena
Ай бұрын
@@ashfur7387What!?
@annayorkchocolat7673
Ай бұрын
@@ashfur7387 I'm surprised no one is talking about the nazi part of it, I'm seriously horrified
@leoepard67162 ай бұрын
Honestly I just feel really bad for Emily as dark as her art is she really did have a talent If only she could have got the help she needed who knows what her art would be like by now.
@dott3dlines2 ай бұрын
17:21 CLASS OF '09 REFERENCE??? BASED ALERT???
@lookatdemijipersАй бұрын
man, Emily was around the same age as me, was a creator on a website I spent a lot of my time on, and even grew up in the same city as me... I am legitimately surprised I've never heard of her
@headmelterАй бұрын
“i don’t owe you people anything, i don’t know who you are, let me be autistic in peace” *immediate subscribe*
@Dumbsvillefan2 ай бұрын
0:48 holy shite , it’s that crazy dog girl who became a specific Austrian mustached man lover
@sucasica3845
Ай бұрын
Man with a weird, odd, ugly and even disgusting mustache.. 😰
@hiimlaury1694
Ай бұрын
As a German....he was NOT German ...He was an aussie ....gosh
@Dumbsvillefan
Ай бұрын
@@hiimlaury1694 shit you’re right
@Jazzatnight37372 ай бұрын
The disturbed are comforted by the disturbing, which disturbs the comfortable Edit:bro wtf I do NOT remember writing this 😭😭😭
@impi4
2 ай бұрын
"raise your words not your voice. it is rain that grows flowers not thunder." ahh 💀💀
@beach9131
2 ай бұрын
Please for the love of god DO NOT become a writer💀💀💀
@Jazzatnight3737
2 ай бұрын
@@impi4 Bruh shut up i was tryina sound smart
@fishbaiter
2 ай бұрын
corny
@impi4
2 ай бұрын
@@fishbaiter not corny at all gang
@fleaasmcgee12712 ай бұрын
I relate to Alfred so much that he was somewhat comforting to me, and unfortunately I still somewhat do. Knowing about Emily has ruined it for me and made it impossible for me to find solace in Alfred, all I can feel is guilt for my draw to him and the series. I’m deeply ashamed of how I feel towards Alfred and wish Emily got help
@fleaasmcgee1271
2 ай бұрын
I wish I could talk about the complex feelings more often but fear being misunderstood or causing trouble or attracting Emily towards me
@B20K3
2 ай бұрын
There is nothing wrong with relating to the work a creator creates, no matter how twisted and heinous that creator is. We're all humans, and it's easy to see ourselves even in horrible people. But does that mean we are them? Not at all. I understand what it's like to feel ashamed and embarrassed when you find yourself deeply relating to the creations that someone terrible produces. But that doesn't mean you yourself are a terrible person. Nor does it mean you are supporting their toxicity. What's important, above all else, is knowing to not go down the path that the creator did. Seeking comfort in toxic, cult ideologies that slowly drag you in until you're completely enveloped. As long as you're aware of that: there will never be anything wrong with consuming and relating to media created by terrible people that you acknowledge are horrible.
@SukunaYaoiАй бұрын
I find it funny how this is actually somewhat better representation for DID than most things I've seen so far, as yes I know it's actually not that good of a representation because again nobody has a "evil alter" but still
@cassiespaghetti69472 ай бұрын
Great video! My computer crashed halfway through watching it and I thought it was a part of the video for a good minute 😭
@Aldeyau2 ай бұрын
This shit fire and I ain't even started yet
@gabbo71012 ай бұрын
I first watched alfred back in high school and its kind of stuck with me since. my art ive come to realize has some traits in common with youcis and its something I would think about every once in a while. I find it thematically ironic that emily ended up falling into the worst crowd and saying horrible things for, lets me real now, attention and affection. The far right offered her a place of praise and attention as long as she does and says bad shit, and she ate the figurative dog bone; ruining her life and reputation for the sake of feeling seen and loved (even if its not genuine affection).
@CoralReaper70714 күн бұрын
You know when shit's gone wild when KZread warns you before even starting the video
@mikuenjoyerXD2 ай бұрын
I'm so glad I could finally find a version about this topic that I could actually watch without feeling really sick
@johnynoway9127
2 ай бұрын
you must be really weak mentally....
@TungstenEnthusiast2 ай бұрын
With the way she writes, emily is clearly a smart person, and the clear air of intelligence present in each passage we get from her adds so much to her story
@YogurtNight_Ай бұрын
Hearing someone talk about Alfred’s playhouse makes me so sad because you can see glimpses of a good idea. I was assaulted as a child and while I’ve never actually watched Alfred’s playhouse, seeing you describe it sounds so familiar. Being forced to rely on media to dissociate and separate yourself from the reality of what happened or regressing into a childlike state to stifle a panic attack is exactly what I do all the time. It’s really on point and it’s a shame that the idea wasn’t used differently. It could have ended up being really therapeutic for some many people. More so than it already is.
@I-eat-dirt452 ай бұрын
Alfred's playhouse is just an extremely edgy depressing and disturbing show but somehow it's what gives it it's charm
@elizabethwulf57872 ай бұрын
"What are you drawing? Let me see it." Just a scene of the final battle of Kirby Canvas Curse. Also keep up the video essays.
@andyghkfilm22872 ай бұрын
It’s really a shame, I actually like a lot of the jokes for what they are in these animations. Like the movie having “Where the Dead Go To Die” and “Where the Dead Go To Drink” is honestly really funny
@digglesgigglessАй бұрын
It's honestly haunting listening to the "alter ego" scream and cry about having to experience the trauma that the host wasn't around for. Alters definitely do not turn "evil", that's not a thing. But I know for a fact that the trauma that I experience has to easily be just as painful for my alters, which definitely makes me feel guilty. I feel very gross about myself that I am so incapable of handling bad moments that I can't even be around. It's very crazy that Alfred's Playhouse can depict that, despite the offensive nature.
@yoshisreal28 күн бұрын
Hmmm… - Make a distrubing yet charming series starring a mentally unstable dog - It becomes popular and you gain a fanbase - Descend into madness mentally - Become a horrible and demented human being - Have a bad reputation, albeit justified, ever since the late 2010s Emily Youcis reminds me of a certain Nickelodeon animator.
@42seven
14 күн бұрын
tbf comparing a nazi to a pedophile is comparing rotten apples to rotten oranges
@autumnlotus62502 ай бұрын
normally i zone out when i hear "Oh they are nazis!", because often, online anyways, its a massive exaggeration. But THIS...jesus. Thats a massive downwards spiral that just makes me sad for the woman. She dealt with some Stuff, but had the mental illness validated through fame. and politics being radicalized for years now means that someone like her would fall Deep into it. and thats just sad
@redsnake188
2 ай бұрын
Im not gonna lie the more i kept hearing alt right and reading the comments the more i was about to checkout. Your comments convinced me to stick around though
@Josue-mv2fo
Ай бұрын
@@redsnake188 she had a picture of herself carrying a sign that said "Jews R* Kids"
@chumbusi81472 ай бұрын
I'm gonna be honest, Rise of Alfred was the only vid I was able to watch without being absolutely horrified afterwards
@kolonarulez52222 ай бұрын
The fact that she despises Mr. Pickles so much makes me love Mr. Pickles even more.
@AsukaLangley_fan.4692 ай бұрын
The "the people who put my videos in the background of them drawing" was scary😭, I'm playing with clay while watching this!!
@moonoftheblood2 ай бұрын
The "hi you who just puts my videos on the background while drawing" called me out so hard that I subbed (I am drawing some graffiti to decorate my sketchbook, thanks for the acknowledgement it scared me
@trucoteca19242 ай бұрын
I thought the skibidi toilet thing was a bit lmao
@mijiah2 ай бұрын
i have DID, and i would like to clarify that NO systems have "evil alters." the only parallel within actual systems, be it DID or OSDD, are what the community typically calls "persecutors." persecutors are always alters who hold some sort of traumatic memory or otherwise embody a traumatic experience. they can be introjects of abusers, have similar behaviors to abusers, or have SH behaviors. 90% of the time, they DO NOT harm anyone outside of their system. they are the members of the system that have been hurt the most, it is not their fault. therapy can help them a lot, i know from my own experience with one of the members of my system, and they can become incredibly strong protectors for the system. DID looks different for everyone who has it. that all being said, i genuinely appreciate the absurdist humor and genuine horror of the original alfred's playhouse. as someone with DID and a survivor of CSA, i can see a lot of myself and my system in this series. i was a maladaptive daydreamer until i was around 17-18, and i realize now that it was one of my only ways of coping. i had no friends. i was a scared, traumatized kid who didn't know what i was doing wrong. i had no support but my system. realizing that the imaginary friends that i would always think about were real in some sense was just as horrifying as it was oddly comforting. i had no idea what happened to me. learning more about the years i missed when some of my alters were "filling in" for me was heartbreaking. the scene genuinely depicts the pure, inescapable feeling of anguish, dread, and confusion that a diagnosis of DID can bring. at the time, i was horrified. i felt like i wasn't in control of the one thing i felt i should have had control over. now, years later, with therapy and finding community, i'm not afraid. i don't hate my system, i don't hate my past. i love my alters, i love the family we have become and the bond we share. i love my community, my support system, my friends. the horror of DID and/or plurality from the perspective of the system is rarely ever touched on… and i can't help but wonder what a series that showed this in earnest and stayed that way would be like. it's disappointing that the creator went down such a bizarre path when they genuinely could have made something with a lot of meaning to people like me.
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
I'm sorry you had to go through so much, and I hope you're doing better now.
@thebipus8694Ай бұрын
I don't agree with her actions, but I do feel bad for how those beliefs and actions developed. She had such amazing potential, artistically and musically, and it all went down the drain because she found comfort in something that is (for good reason) frowned apon. I just hope she knows peace in life one day, though that isn't likely due to her husband also being a radical extremist so her beliefs won't be changing any time soon. But from one traumatized person to another, there are better ways of finding community and solace.
@yeager14
20 күн бұрын
If it makes you feel any better, I think her family has been really grounding and good for her. Her husband convinced her to stop doing all drugs and Shes stopped animation all together. from her podcast she did with other nazi wives and mothers it's obvious she's much happier and more stable than she's ever been even if she's more bigoted.
@thebipus8694
19 күн бұрын
@@yeager14 I'm glad she's found stability, but not at the cost of hatred for other human beings....
@burblesmurge2 ай бұрын
your audience is NOT small by any means, you are killing it
@comradejux2 ай бұрын
bruh i thought this was an analysis about a horror game😭😭😭
@ant3nna_films
Ай бұрын
REAL
@sagetheforestcat921
28 күн бұрын
SAME WHAT 😭
@Kyrikrliy2 ай бұрын
I feel a bit sad seeing what Emily has become, because she definitely had potential with her gifted voice and talent in animation. She went from a traumatised animator with genuine talent to someone whose entire identity is extremist politics. Honestly this is probably one of the best examples of why people in a troubled mental state shouldnt look too far into politics.
@Nex_2B2 ай бұрын
Newgrounds has everything: games, gore, animation, videos, and porn.
@Sunnfloweropposum2 ай бұрын
I panicked when i heard “jesus christ (corn) star”, i’m a huge fan of Jesus Christ Superstar (even planning on watching it live in Australia) and my goodness that shooked me to my core 😭
@Madohomu4everАй бұрын
HOW DID SOMEONE GET BANNED FROM 4CHAN?!?!!
@kittyfan1488
Ай бұрын
holy shit that is an achievement like no other
@blueberrypitbull872 ай бұрын
At one point I talked to her and commissioned art from her. This is how my pitbull fursona came to be. I do NOT and NEVER will share the same political views as her. My character was created by chance. I have no plan on getting rid of her. I am separating the art from the artist. And no, this art in my profile pic is not what Emily drew. But what she DID draw was just a cute picture of Blueberry and Alfred sitting by a fireplace. That's it. No politics or anything disgusting. I stopped talking to Emily and will not engage with her again.
@codeinexrist
Ай бұрын
how was she in conversation? id imagine at the time she was much more coherent
@blueberrypitbull87
Ай бұрын
@@codeinexrist Yeah, I guess. To be honest I was afraid of mentioning any of this because people tend to like to take things out of proportion. They like to go over the top and assume things of people who had interacted with certain people in the past. As I said before, I do not share the same views as her. In fact, sometimes I want to go to her socials and tell her that she is wrong and she should really reconsider her views. But it is better to not poke the bear. (So to speak).
@MySweetBijouАй бұрын
This doesn't have anything to do with Emily or her work but I've watched two of your videos so far and I'm really glad that you're not secretive about being a victim of sexual trauma, especially CSA. I hate that I can't even talk about my experiences without being seen as venting or trauma dumping, even if I just mention my trauma where it's relevant and in a completely neutral manner. It makes people so uncomfortable that CSA victims (at least in my experience/with people I've talked to) are frequently told (directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally) to not talk about their trauma, which just leads to more of us feeling isolated, unsupported, and alone. So, it's good to hear someone else casually mentioning/talking about their own trauma, especially on a widely public video. More people need to talk about it, so more people realize how sickeningly common it actually is, and more can be done to stop it. I hate how it happens to you when you don't have a voice, and then by the time you're old enough to finally talk about it, people ask you why you aren't over it yet, it was so many years ago...
@TomWoop2 ай бұрын
This reminds of kanye but imagine if kanye did all his 2022 stuff during life of pablo
@sexygirlmax2019
2 ай бұрын
exactly, mental breakdowns leave you so susceptible to falling into alt right stuff. some people also theorized that he went crazy after seeing a specific therapist 1 time. Who knows what happened. The same thing happened to a former soldier who was court assigned a therapist and he went crazy after 1 session.
@sexygirlmax2019
2 ай бұрын
*the therapist used to work on MKUltra
@pimpgaming65872 ай бұрын
Quinn lock in I need more videos
@SHSLMUSICIAN1Ай бұрын
aw hell nah yo ass tweaking alfred!!!
@R0tt3nMutt2 ай бұрын
Alfred Alfer is probably my most embarrassing hyperfixation
@Retsiger
2 ай бұрын
It’s times like this where we wish we could control our hyperfixations…
@ShyloTheFox
Ай бұрын
My curiosity is taking over.. I understand it is traumatising but should.. i watch it..? :/
@Retsiger
Ай бұрын
@@ShyloTheFox I mean if you want you can no one can really police what you watch, for me it portrays distress and trauma pretty accurately, (for me) and that’s what makes it really nerve wracking
@ShyloTheFox
Ай бұрын
Oh no. (I watched it)
@skyrimenjoyer792Ай бұрын
Emily has got to be one of the most interesting yet depraved people to ever leave her mark on the internet. For better or for worse, I hope she knocks off all the right wing bullshit and heals from her trauma.
@Sleepykiddoo
Ай бұрын
I find the depraved interesting but horribly concerning. Not many people talk about it
@skyrimenjoyer792
Ай бұрын
@@Sleepykiddoo Real shit! Same with Chris-Chan if you know her, can never skip a video going over all the shit she’s pulled in the past.
@elisquier53802 ай бұрын
Omg I’ve actually watched another KZread video about this so it’s very interesting to see someone else talking about it, just started but know this is gonna be a dozy
@ReddyDАй бұрын
I feel like I could’ve ended up like Emily. I was really edgy since the age 12 because of past traumatic experiences and things got worse after 13 with lockdown and other traumas. I was falling off the deep end and I often found comfort in being over the top edgy. Looking back at myself I can tell that I wasn’t a good person, I wasn’t a bad one either but I did some stuff I’m not proud of, I was very manipulative. The thing that saved me was my phone and my IPad breaking at the same time, not even joking. For a whole year I had little to no access to the internet due to my family not doing too great financially, but in that time I think I discovered myself, a better version of me. On one hand I’m really sorry for Emily and how her trauma turned in the worst version of herself, on the other I know that wasn’t the only possible outcome, I may be childish but I hope she gets some senses back, and I hope her kids grow up better.
Пікірлер: 1 800
Be sure to get your very own Quinn plush!!! After two weeks he’s GONE FOREVER!!! www.ownaj.com/collections/plushies/products/quinn-plush
@gorotainttomato6968
Ай бұрын
Ok
the fear when i put this on in the background while i draw and being acknowledged for it
@iclynnx
2 ай бұрын
I'm drawing right now too 👁👄👁 Although I actually often watch while drawing (I have my phone nearby as I listen, so I can glance and see it slightly)
@kdup-hp6zm
2 ай бұрын
same
@Casterisks
2 ай бұрын
Mood
@Sleepy-Pile-of-Ashe
2 ай бұрын
ME FR actual jumpscare-
@aluno1000xawesome
2 ай бұрын
i was drawing and when quinn said that i got startled
Did not expect to see that many warnings at the start then a minute later hear Skibidi toilet
@graphitebendy
2 ай бұрын
Gotta catch 'em all
@alankiitty
2 ай бұрын
there shouldve been a warning for that aswell /j
@vulpevulpevulpevulpevulpevulpe
2 ай бұрын
yeah
@malirious
2 ай бұрын
@@alankiittyHello there Dave Strider from the hit webcomic Homestuck
@user-nz2bp8xk5l
2 ай бұрын
fnaf blueycapsules AU
The fact that she has children is horrifying to me, I beg they don't end up like her and can live a better life.
@ztitches
22 күн бұрын
@@3lean0rxoxo She has KIDS..?
@ambiiko2863
12 күн бұрын
Exactly it sounds terrifying I hope they are okay :(
@spookychords4925
10 күн бұрын
I agree. I worry for those children. Not only for the fear of indoctrination of white nationalist ideology, but for their mental well being and exposure to adult themes
@3lean0rxoxo
10 күн бұрын
@@spookychords4925 Exactly I really hope they get put into a healthier home if they haven't already even if that is cruel to say.
@Viv_0909
14 сағат бұрын
Fucking WHAT.
In all this, her telling Vivziepop to make NSFW to boost her career is just peak comedy. In a way she ended up taking that advice, which is hysterical
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
Tbf NSFW doesn't always mean porn, it's just a term for content with elements unsuitable for a social setting, like blood and gore, so Vivzie really did follow her advice.
@mingotproductions1335
2 ай бұрын
@@aesiro13 im sorry but vivzie's works have got NOTHING on Emily Youcis in terms of fucked up-ness
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
@@mingotproductions1335 Doesn't really change my point but ok :|
@Cure_Hana
2 ай бұрын
I seriously doubt Viv would just blindly take the advice of an artist who was clearly off her rocker. Plus she previously stated that her dirty and dark sense of humor mostly comes from watching shows like South Park growing up.
@lindseyeganrawding6363
2 ай бұрын
@@Cure_Hanathey mean that it’s just ironic, and let’s not forget that emily was still a minor during her early fame and (maybe?) magcon days. it was kinda disappointing to not see viv stand up for a kid:/
the alfred's playhouse "fandom" is a slippery slope. it goes from people enjoying the art, but despising the artist, to literal nazis and necrophiliacs. it's especially bad on tiktok, once i found someone who made alfreds playhouse self insert ocs and had drawings of them doing stuff to dead bodies. it's jarring to see how quickly people can fall down these rabbitholes because of the internet, though i understand what it's like because it has almost happened to me. the internet is an awful place.
@sexygirlmax2019
2 ай бұрын
youtube animator ANALBONES is a good example of this 😬 im very worried about him.
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
the internet boosts the hell out of a whole lot of voices that should absolutely not be in the limelight
@creamcakecoffee
2 ай бұрын
I’m in the fandom and Ofcourse like any fandom it has it’s fair share of really bad people but I honestly love the community. people in the community are really kind and have a lot of mutals on tiktok aswell as I’m in a few discord servers (don’t recommend though since I’ve heard gr00ming is common there since there are easy target since mainly the reason why people like aph is because they relate or find comfort within the show (Mainly SA which is one of the things I experienced as a kid)
@puckkrz01
2 ай бұрын
@@creamcakecoffee what do ppl in the fandom rlly do tho? I’ve seen a few ocs, but what’s the appeal of making ocs for media that is very dark in nature like this? No hate, genuinely curious!
@SuperDuperSigmaMale
2 ай бұрын
@@puckkrz01I'd image they make that art either to be edgy, out of random interest in doing so, or because they genuinely as bad as what they like and genuinely want to express for attention or something along those lines, which in my opinion makes sense because if you like something or someone fucked up you yourself have to be fucked up just as badly or nearly as badly.
So the person that made Where the Dead go to Die was friends with Emily who made Alfred Alfer... Not gonna lie this literally explains EVERYTHING.
@gem_b7798
2 ай бұрын
He was actually her ex.
@redsnake188
2 ай бұрын
Oh that movie was freakin nuts got it for my brothers birthday
@user-nz2bp8xk5l
2 ай бұрын
fnaf blueycapsules AU
@Wrennityy
2 ай бұрын
@@user-nz2bp8xk5l why would you reply this. I am genuinely so confused how does it tie to the comment 😭😭😭😭 why did you make me remember they fucking comic 😭😭😭
@Leblenlens
2 ай бұрын
Dude I'm just starting the video and this comment is getting me ready, where the dead go to die, something i haven't heard in years unless it's me talking about it
I'm sorry but how do you get banned from fucking 4chan.
@obnoxious_efe420
2 ай бұрын
That's kinda impressive
@squibkib
2 ай бұрын
@@obnoxious_efe420 seriously, it is
@langustajableczna
2 ай бұрын
people get banned from image boards all the time, there are so many tutorials to go around a range ban for example. 4chan is the most normie known chan, there aren’t criminals and degenerates posting illegal stuff and bomb tutorials. You can get banned for simple spam, for example.
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
I don't know but it must've been something awful.
@langustajableczna
Ай бұрын
@@bendykid4908 literally just for being an attention whore and not posting on topic. calm down. She was postig about personal issues and venting on /f/ - a board for flash, not for anyones personal issues. Just read the rules and you will know why you might get banned
This is why therapy should be readily accessible. Anyway somehow I'm reminded of something I heard a long time ago. "To a simple-minded child, all support comes from good people, with good intentions. They cannot understand that someone can reach out to cure their loneliness, but poison them in a thousand other ways."
@stevebear6295
Ай бұрын
Therapy isn't a *fix* when all it is a tool to beat people into a mold. It's fascist and racist and ablist.
@goyonman9655
Ай бұрын
@@Emperor-Quill She's fine. Probably healthier than you
@paigemosher8697
16 күн бұрын
@goyonman9655 No. She is ill, ill. Not a single Trumper out there is sane in any way, shape or form. They're all demented. Anyway, you're clearly not in your right mind either. Get help.
@Lobotomized._.666
10 күн бұрын
@@goyonman9655💀
@MatchaTiramisuu
8 күн бұрын
Jesus this one hit hard. I was manipulated by adults into thinking that the "pics" I was sending was good, and I learned that sending those would give me attention.. It makes me sick now. My bf is so supportive and makes me a better person every day. I'm better :>
Alfred Alfer is my favorite niche internet thing. It’s terrible but important to learn about the rabbit hole that made Emily what she is today and how her ignored cries for help drove her to seek community with alt right weirdos, it’s a lot more common nowadays than people would like to admit
@gem_b7798
2 ай бұрын
I hate it.
@ZethTheGoat666
2 ай бұрын
for real, especially for lonely young men
@GameGuy667
2 ай бұрын
Its almost like they're normal.
@nymphia
2 ай бұрын
@@GameGuy667 if you're normal why don't you have 100 subscribers at least
@bluemagician9724
2 ай бұрын
I went down the alt-right pipeline but it spat me out for being a degenerate but I still hate a lot of the same kind of stuff I did at the Shen Bapiro stage so I'm pretty much sandwiched in between two groups I hate, interacting with members of both and trying to ignore my acute awareness that they are what they are, occasionally being pleasantly surprised when someone isn't as bad as I thought they were or are even like me. I don't have trauma, though, which is probably why I haven't gone full stormfront daught kom
Emilys saga has always been so interesting to me. Her animations of Alfred are scarily accurate to how people (such as myself) feel during these kinds of mental breakdowns. She was surprisingly in touch with herself and her emotions (albeit sometimes negatively) and I think it’s a shame she went down the path she did. She clearly wasn’t in the right mindset, and I think that community took advantage of that. Also, the tiktok “fandom” enrages me so much, but I digress.
@Egg-qc1yq
2 ай бұрын
Yeah, Alfred's playhouse is not something that should have a fandom...
@Retsiger
2 ай бұрын
It really made me so shocked on how accurate the breakdowns and other things were, especially the sa depiction. It’s so on point.
@SkeletonMischief
2 ай бұрын
i absolutely agree, I think that having a fandom over what's basically vent art for someone who's dealing with a lot is just really weird. It's odd to see that they're making a fandom out of something like this, and even if there's reasons such as finding a community that you can confine in, a rabbit hole like this isn't actually going to be a place MEANT to find help but rather dwell and fester in ones own mental spiral. I've been in groups similar, and even if it's good to find people who understand, you're not actually getting help because they're just as troubled as you are. in reality, you're just surrounded by a community that's not healthy and you're not getting the help you need. Plus, some people are just into it for the sake of liking the "edgy content", and that's a whole other topic that specifically makes me frustrated to think about. Yikes overall
@dannydanny865
Ай бұрын
Community? What neo-nazi community? If you were on /POL/ you’d realize no one there can agree on anything.
@cheese__cake
Ай бұрын
@@SkeletonMischief I guess i should be glad that im in a fandom that isn't based around something disturbing, even if the fandom im in is about a popular comment thread. I usually joke about how the hell did a youtube argument thread gained a fandom of its own, but i agree with the fact that a fandom that comes from a vent art is kind of... too odd to say the least. No offense to the ones who are in the fandom, this is just my opinion. Making a fandom out of very disturbing vent art is a whole another level, although i wouldn't generalize every person in that fandom is terrible, since i could understand that theres going to be some people that finds genuine comfort in it. However, if a fandom is made out of something disturbing, then i think its doomed to have more creeps that will take advantage of that fact.
It's a bit horrifying how similar my situation was to Emily's. I fell into the alt-right pipeline at around the same time because I had childhood trauma and undiagnosed mental illness, and I felt isolated from progressive spaces because I felt that they ignored me and my struggles. I got the help I needed and got out, but it's scary seeing a video essay of the type of person who I would have been if I weren't so lucky. As irredeemable as she has become, a small part of me still hopes she comes out of it eventually.
@tablescissors
2 ай бұрын
The alt left pipeline exists too though, but can be more toxic bc it’s so enabled and denied as similarly destructive . Detransitioners are some of the few who discuss it sanely.
@arineatsshit7955
2 ай бұрын
@tablescissors67 JESUS CHRIST you're spamming comments dude 😭 get better soon
@PearTree450
2 ай бұрын
Same, but I seriously doubt it she is in too deep. Even if she left her baby daddy is still a devout nazi and she herself was pretty influential in that community, so I doubt they'd ever let her live that down.
@mako3951
2 ай бұрын
From the beginning she has been attempting to appease and gain acceptance/fans among extremely edgy communities online. I think she has fully immersed herself in newgrounds, 4chan, etc. the entire time she has been online and molded her personality to impress them so much and so by extension the extreme political beliefs of those circles are now core a part of her personality. It's the only place that will accept her at this point, so she will double down forever and eternally spiral into her conspiracies and hatred for minorities along with the rest of those in that space. I have a personal theory based on her posts, behavior, and things I've seen in her animations that her sense of self is heavily tied to her relationships to others and she has an obsession with getting positive attention from hateful and edgy individuals. It's kind of sad and pathetic in a way. The people she wants approval from often look down on her, don't respect her, and treat her like a joke. I think in her mind, if she can get people who are so insensitive and give praise and love so conditionally to like her that must mean something and make her special.
@danmakes2497
Ай бұрын
Other people mentioned she was already like that beforehand; she chose to become worse
as a csa victim, the playhouse is extremely and painfully relatable, even pretending having a different person in your place, or pretend nothing ever happened, though triggers completely collide your world again. I was also a victim of my father, and some of the deranged things shown in Alfred’s playhouse (sh to get attention and thinking that it was deserved) I find in myself. I do not condone Emily’s behavior, but I can sympathize for her. As of now, I am still trying to heal, and I hope I can learn from this and hopefully grow.
@Shotapounder
Ай бұрын
Especially the popsicle scene.
@yeager14
20 күн бұрын
I know everyone wants to hate her husband and I get it because he is a nazi and that's bad. But he's also really grounded her. She is far less unhinged since she married him. More bigoted, yes. But also more happy, calm and much less manic. She doesn't do drugs anymore, make weird animations and from her podcast "dreamweavers" that she does with other girls in that scene she seems to be doing better mentally even if she's more of a bad person.
i do actually have you playing in the background while i draw. you cant just call me out like this
@FogWcue
2 ай бұрын
real
@TheForestor
2 ай бұрын
halyar
@christophercampbell6884
2 ай бұрын
# of people who care 👇
@-PanPan-
2 ай бұрын
@@christophercampbell6884 382 people and counting clearly.
@christophercampbell6884
2 ай бұрын
@@-PanPan- I liked the comment too
You know what they say, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall"
@bearzinluvzxd
2 ай бұрын
I thought this saying was about cocks lmao
@Wroar2020s
2 ай бұрын
Unless your ukulele girl
@FullerTube
2 ай бұрын
This biggidy boy’s a diggity dog
@conorhamersleyspage8173
2 ай бұрын
@@Wroar2020s true
@user-nz2bp8xk5l
2 ай бұрын
fnaf blueycapsules AU
Quick note, her mentioning her excessive usage of weed is scary, as weed is known to induce psychosis in people with severe mental disorders such as schizophrenia.
@purbledude
26 күн бұрын
@@spacy256 thats only with smoking certain strains, not just weed generally iirc
@cindililly7948
18 күн бұрын
@@purbledude skunk is what's is most likely to cause symptoms of psychosis, hash not so much, but it's easier to get a hold of regular ole bud than stuff like hash soo
@sinistersalem1983
17 күн бұрын
Where'd you get that information from I've been smoking weed for God knows how long I've never hallucinated lol
@42seven
14 күн бұрын
no, it's a trigger for schizophrenia, it doesn't usually cause psychosis on it's own
@purbledude
14 күн бұрын
@@42seven yeah, as someone mentioned before its only a certain strain, i know hard drugs like heroin etc are more likely to cause psychosis with long term use
You know it's really crazy when there's a warning
@yourcordialvermillionchapw2398
2 ай бұрын
Oh Absolutely, the warning is warranted... Said warning was given once this time too.
@MalIguess
2 ай бұрын
Hi Unknowningly :D
Rip Daggz for having to edit all of this. I hope his eyes and mind are in peace
@Daggz
2 ай бұрын
It was definitely an experience 😭
@SammyRobinson62232
2 ай бұрын
@@Daggz Hope you’re okay after this. Thank you for your contribute 🫡
@devofficialchannel
2 ай бұрын
@@Daggz Hopefully, you weren't too stressed out. Wish you the best.
@manboy4720
2 ай бұрын
what an absolute soldier. i wouldn't want my worse enemy to watch any of this shit.
@Snaily_Man
2 ай бұрын
@@Daggz you we're a good one comrade
2nd Edit (so this is above my original comment): Regarding the “if more people stepped in or if she reached out for professional help” portion, while I can’t say for latter, for the former, I have been informed people did actually. (I suggest reading the comment thread below this). Emily’s story is just really upsetting, because I feel like if more people stepped in or if she reached out for professional help, maybe things would have been different. All I can say is that I feel bad for the children of Emily and her gross husband. Thinking about how those kids could very likely have similar views to their parents once they grow up really scares me.
@devofficialchannel
2 ай бұрын
The children are highly likely to also be abused and Emily will call it "tough love" or "traditional discipline". Worse is if the very traumatic things that happened to Emily also happen to her children, creating a harmful cycle.
@SpaceySodaPop
2 ай бұрын
@@devofficialchannel That possibility is just as scary to think about too.
@Wulfums
2 ай бұрын
We did. We tried to pull her out. She promised she'd stop reading alt right stuff and get out of the pipline but didnt. She chose to be racist.
@SpaceySodaPop
2 ай бұрын
@@Wulfums Jesus, I’m so sorry, dumb question but are you a former friend of hers?
@Wulfums
2 ай бұрын
Yeah. I left another comment. I'm sorry I absolutely sounded hostile but I really, really wish people would try to seek out victims of people before doing vids. She knew me as "Stripe" on Facebook. I was close friends w/ her for years (Though she did also groom me.)
I’ve scrolled through the comments, but haven’t seen anyone mention it, so: the warning about the movie’s depiction of necro**ilia, gore, and SA is at 44:54, but recommends to skip to 35:37, which is earlier in the video. To skip the entire movie segment, go to 50:46.
@TheIdiotChihuahua
2 ай бұрын
Thank you I was about to comment about this
@user-jo5mt7hm1y
Ай бұрын
THE GREATEST HERO OF ALL TIME 🗣️‼️‼️‼️
"No, not with a cookie monster magnet" CLASS OF 09 JUMP SCARE😭
@Nicole-x1j
Ай бұрын
FRRR
@Insert.creative_username
23 күн бұрын
"Nicoles fault.."
@alphabloodpaw3233
10 күн бұрын
@@Insert.creative_username I'm nicole by the way, hi
@NyanRainbowz2010
3 күн бұрын
WHAT THE FUK DID I DO TO HIM?!@@alphabloodpaw3233
It's so weird to me that even though Emily doesn't have DID, she had protrayed a few things that happened to me in terms of alters or switching and being hazy. Dicator Pickles is a (very glorified) version of a persecutor. And, even though people say that they are the evil alter, they can cause you to trust them through a means of lovebombing. They are seemed to be misunderstood and use their way of getting things as a means of protection. When i first watched the three episodes of Alfred's Playhouse, i felt an odd sense of comfort in just Alfred. Not the rest of the show, not the creator. Just Alfred. He acted like me as a kid when i had to deal with some triggering topics no kid should have gone through. Sure, i didn't cause a murder but in terms of outbursts in emotion, it was on the T. Its hard to explain really.
I love watching hour-long videos on things I haven't heard of, thank you Quinnamon
@StrawberryCocoaPowder
2 ай бұрын
Wendy icon based
@sugarbunniez14
Ай бұрын
Wendy fan!!!!
@canceled....
Ай бұрын
Same (South park pfp 😋)
What is upsetting is that this series is a genuinely troubling psychological horror, with a lot of artistic choices genuinely being good at portraying panic attacks, overstimulation, trauma, Dissociation, SA, and even DID at times.
The craziest part of Emily’s life to me is how she managed to get kicked out of a friend group that included both the co-creator of Smiling Friends and fucking shadman???
"The wreched rhythm game" is fucking hillarious
@Wolfiexero
2 ай бұрын
I'm out of the loop, I played up to week 5, what happened with said wretched rhythm game?
@THE_town_fool
2 ай бұрын
@@Wolfiexerobasically most of the developers and mod makers for the game are horrible people and groomers
@heavygunner4039
2 ай бұрын
@@Wolfiexero It gained a massive modding community after week 6 and attains that to this day, reached critical mass, became cringe in the eyes of the public, lots of people known in its community did horrible things.
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
@@heavygunner4039 it's really just spread out way past the confines of the original game and it's been more or less coopted by kids to make their own stuff. which is fine, honestly, people just see kids making stuff and think its cringe lol, we did the same stuff in like 2010.
@Cade_Rufus
2 ай бұрын
I heard her say that, and was like "Eeeh... Them's fightin' words". 😹
It's so disheartening to see people like Emily; as someone who was in a similar situation as her, it's also a bit horrifying how I might have turned out like her if the dice rolled a bit differently and I didn't get the help I needed.
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
its always terrifying seeing internet cases that really resonate with you at the beginning before diving into the deep end. really gives a lot of perspective about how some small key things can completely change your trajectory in life.
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
It sucks that you had to go through a similar situation. I'm glad things worked out for you, at least.
@rosiv9617
Ай бұрын
I just hope people who are similarly traumatized and don't have access to the resources they need, know that they don't have to turn out like her. They can choose to be better people than her, in spite of all of the suffering they endured. The cycle of trauma doesn't have to be continued.
"I do not owe you people anything, I do not know who you are, let me be autistic in peace." Gospel was spoken today
17:20 im so autistic i felt my phantom ears perk up when i processed the class of 09 reference
@squibkib
2 ай бұрын
same bro. same.
@aresknight12
Ай бұрын
VERY REAL
@Hshsgsggshdh
Ай бұрын
Me too man
@yasabushieowhagaksure
Ай бұрын
ME TOO
@totallyn0taferret
Ай бұрын
REAL OMG
I feel like I could make a joke connecting Emily with H.P. Lovecraft, but my Yithian partner says that it is too soon. I'll come back in a century to say it.
@Vesperad0
Ай бұрын
I will hold you to this. Just don't ask how
@mushmush4980
Ай бұрын
Pretty accurate. Both of these people only got their deranged views due to mental illness, with Lovecraft denouncing them when he regained his sanity
@M00NFL0W3RR._
Ай бұрын
@@Vesperad0ill stay for the journey lol
@meghanrodriguez2393
Ай бұрын
I'll be awaiting for this moment
@Kolyawearsheels
Ай бұрын
We'll be waiting
Another detail I’d like to add is that Emily was once in a relationship with Jimmy Screamerclauz, and made Alfred’s Surprise after their breakup, which is probably why she used his character Labby in that animation who is depicted abandoning Alfred. She uses the soundtrack from the Land before Time in that video too, which she says was the last movie she watched with Jimmy. Further proof that the Alfred animations are probably just a projection of herself. Heres the podcast where she says all this: kzread.info/dash/bejne/mXaW3Mugoqvaj6g.htmlsi=EPDj4O5qjFjD1uAb
I feel... God I feel horrible finding out about this. I nearly, NEARLY fell down the same rabbit hole she did and I'm so relieved I avoided it in the end. As a result though I can't help but wish she would have been able to avoid it too. There's something about that sort of absurdly over-the-top offensive way of making art I enjoy, how someone can just let loose and be as vile and gross as they want to be to make a point. It almost guarantees the people who may need to see it will stick around and people who don't will leave quickly. Knowing just a little of what happened to her and of how that came out through her work... It tears me up.
@zeroanonymity9736
2 ай бұрын
This was fantastically done and I hope this gets far more views. If it helps, the algorithm actually recommended it to me so you're doing something right! Subscribed because of it
@amusingmoose9924
Ай бұрын
I agree with that second paragraph. It’s so fascinatingly raw and uninhibited, and I almost want to encourage this primal level of creation. Almost.
@zeroanonymity9736
Ай бұрын
@@amusingmoose9924 There's a lot of other debased works like this out there, they're just understandably not talked about often. It's a valid method of expression and can be done in a healthy way, just not one that's liked by a lot of people haha
i almost cried midway through the video bc of 1. the whole "i hurt myself because this is the only way people show concern about me" thing, and the bit about pickles taking over everytime something traumatic happens so that alfred may live without it. im not a trauma holder myself, but i am an alter in a system, and i am not the og host. so i get it, sort of. and the whole s/h thing. i dont really self harm, havent for 2 years. but i understand the feeling that you have to have something major happen for people to show concern. because you're isolated, and you get so used to the people around you just knowing the carefully curated version of you who has no problems, and is much more mentally stable than you actually are. you start to believe that the people around you arent going to care unless you find a way to make them see how much you're suffering. i dont ever plan on actually enacting any harm on myself. but i get the urge sometimes.
@DarlingMissDarling
2 ай бұрын
Hey. I'm just a stranger on the internet but I read all of your comment and genuinely wish you well. 🧡
@DefinitelyIsPad
2 ай бұрын
i hope your doing well now
@Trevthehedgehog7
2 ай бұрын
I hope you are well, fellow pilgrim of the Internet. May the Force be with you. 💜
@SkeletonMischief
2 ай бұрын
I absolutely can understand this feeling, even if our experiences are different. The urge is always going to linger, but I promise it gets better. Sometimes you're in a place where you don't realize that, but I promise as someone who was once there that things do change and you do grow bigger around that circle of grief, pain, and isolation. I wish you well, and thank you for sharing this even if you just wanted to get something out there. It's a vulnerable thing to admit
@fuzzybuzzy3159
2 ай бұрын
Much love to you and the rest of y'all in the meat mech
Learning about a infamous person the internet and their derogatory webtoon which involved some of the worst subject matter I've ever heard of while simultaneously witnessing the pyrocynical tf2 clip for the 34th time. THIS.. is the content I signed up for, thanks Quinnamon
@AwesomeYena
2 ай бұрын
The what clip?
@Ahnock
2 ай бұрын
@@AwesomeYena1:46
Yes, I’m able to understand the Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy for what it is while acknowledging that it’s also just terrible and disgusting and the actual worst thing ever. But it’s so real and just so raw in an unforgiving way that I’m disgusted with myself for how much I can relate to such an awful thing. It messed me up bad for like a week after seeing it and still messes with me to this day and I regret ever watching it and learning more, but I feel that I needed to in a way. It’s helped me understand myself a bit better but of course, that’s not enough to justify its existence or make it ok. But still.
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
You shouldn't feel bad for relating to the show or even the creator, just make sure you don't fall down the same dark path.
@Retsiger
2 ай бұрын
@@aesiro13I second this
@Alexstilldraws2nd
2 ай бұрын
I thrid this
@cannibalisticcereal2898
2 ай бұрын
@@aesiro13 Completely valid concern and I appreciate you saying it but just to clarify I do NOT relate in any way to the terrible things she’s done/said and only ever related to theme of trauma from childhood SA in I do NOT agree with any of her opinions or think they’re ok ❌
@aesiro13
2 ай бұрын
@@cannibalisticcereal2898 Never said you did, just glad to hear it.
The warnings had me GAGGED. I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE ALL OF THOSE WARNINGS FOR A DOG SHOW ON YT!??!?!??!!?
The audible "oh no..." I let out as KZread recommended me this... I used to love her work, because it really did portray just how isolation and being easily overstimulated can feel just... like a nightmare. I drew her some fanart back in the day, she even asked me hey I love this, do you do animation because I'm looking for volunteers for the Alfred Alfer movie, I told her that sadly not but I can contribute some drawings; she never got back to me. Sure wouldn't want to work with her nowadays... "I needed to do some research, so I went on /pol" oh nooo...
The way i paused what i was drawing when you called out artists who use these types of videos for background ambience like ive never been so scared drawing objects on ibispaintx
@akiraisnothere5644
2 ай бұрын
That scared me too-
As someone with DID (formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder) this is unfortunately not much worse than the average media depiction of it which is usually just "oo scary serial killer alter"
@mj-sw2nh
2 ай бұрын
Hey fellow system! I’m hopeful we can get some positive did rep soon, even the best did rep I’ve seen in the majoritypublic (moonknight) involves an alter who kills people fora living. Did systems literally just CHILL and VIBE I don’t understand why people are so convinced we beat ass for a living 😭😭😭 do they realize that the severe childhood trauma we experience will most likely prevent us from being abusive, and the cases like this are so rare that it shouldn’t even be considered for the entire did community. I could talk about this allday lmao 😭😭😭 nice to meet you!
@Senkoki
2 ай бұрын
@@mj-sw2nh Yeah, its wild. Ultimately I know it's just reflective of the typical ableist trope of oo mentally ill person is evil and crazy but still its like. We're the way we are because of trauma, why would we want to impart that kinda pain onto others out of nowhere?
@smugmari
2 ай бұрын
@@mj-sw2nh EXACTLU WJY DO PEOPLE THINK WE KILL PEOPLE 😭😭 WHERE DID IT COME FROM???
@user-ds6go2cq4s
2 ай бұрын
@@Senkoki I don’t have DID, but I can say that sometimes people overlook how offensive something is because it doesn’t affect them, or they won’t see it from the other groups perspective. Have you seen how we treated Japanese people back in the early days of the internet, a lot of people were just treating them as extension of themselves into “Japanese culture”, by that I mean anime. Sorry that we represent you in that way, but we would never do it intentionally
@user-ds6go2cq4s
2 ай бұрын
@@smugmari Let’s be honest here, someone who has an alter that kills people, is the perfect set up to a horror movie😂(no offense)
Ah yes, Emily: The classic cautionary tale on how edge can go too far Honestly, the internet was probably the worst environment for her to be in general, let alone the Wild West era where slurs and bile were being thrown around like candy. The internet was always a dumpster fire, even long before social media made it worse.
Weird shit aside its actually incredible how quick she picked up animation and how good she got at it for 15. Teens in the 2000s/2010s were built different when it came to animation
@amusingmoose9924
Ай бұрын
And flash game makers. I took a game design class fivish years ago in college, and it was so hard to for me to understand.
This video has been so weird and disheartening to watch. I grew up on newgrounds and I remember watching Emily’s animations. I never dug deep into who she was and just let my too edgy and desensitized teenage boy brain laugh at what was on the screen. It’s so jarring seeing someone I used to watch have such horrible and bigoted beliefs, but I understand how it happens. Being in those spaces can easily lead to falling down the alt right pipeline, especially at that time. I made it out, but it’s a reminder that a lot of others didn’t. Keep in touch with your friends guys, isolation and seeking validation leaves you *very* open to bad actors. Ask them how they’re doing, be a good actor in their life, your support and voice can be all the difference sometimes. ❤️
@DarlingMissDarling
2 ай бұрын
I love everything about this comment. Thanks for trying to put good shit out into the world, dude 👌🏽
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
That's good advice, man.
Watching hour long documentaries is one of my favorite passtimes
@liviwaslost
2 ай бұрын
Same
emily and alfred fascinate me. emily might not *have* d.i.d.- but as someone who was diagnosed late in life that also projected through art long before that diagnosis was ever considered, it. is very reminiscent of that. alfred is very very clearly a vessel for something emily is dealing with, whether or not She is aware of the depths of it all.
The fact that dictator alfred/pickles admits that he's the one that takes over alfreds body when he's going through trauma is a horrifying thought when you realize a possible theory. Episodes one and two were happening in alfreds mind, while his physical body (pickles controlling it) was going through trauma in real time. While alfred was getting violated with a popsicle, pickles had probably taken over at the last second so alfred could go to his mental playhouse and not actually physically deal with it, which is why we only see the beginning of it and never what happens during or after. Because alfred wasn't there to physically see it. It was pickles.
I am currently aggressively drawing The Binding of Isaac characters (and a lot of mlp) Thank you so very much. Though that was scary being acknowledged.
@quinnamon
2 ай бұрын
which mlp characters i like starlight
@smugmari
2 ай бұрын
I LOVE THE BINDING OF ISAAC THE BINDING OF ISAAAC FAN SPOTTED
@fortniteballs-fq9ng
2 ай бұрын
@@smugmari I LOVE THE BINDING OF ISAAC TOO GRAHHHH (and omori is an masterpiece)
@rsj2877
2 ай бұрын
@@quinnamon yeah, its neat to know oyher interest you may have. (this ain't an Bot response, I SWEAR!!)
@B20K3
2 ай бұрын
@@smugmariOmori Profile Pic sighted.
Gulp
@jimboroyale
2 ай бұрын
whats going on pap fam!
@SwampyFlowers447
2 ай бұрын
Gulp 3
@NewSonyWonderHappyMadisonFan
2 ай бұрын
zoinks
@Glub-46
2 ай бұрын
Jinkies
@AoDahRoh21404
2 ай бұрын
@@Glub-46 Ruh-roh
This is the first video ever that made me genuinely go like "ok, that's enough Internet for today."
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
Yeah, this was kind of scary.
43:17 she got banned on fucking 4chan... What the fuck how 😭
@moonlitcameraa
2 ай бұрын
not even the site with the most nazis/racists/homophobes liked her 😭
@Gnocchi-rw5iu
Ай бұрын
How do you get kicked out of the internets trash can???
Wasn't expecting you of all people to cover this person in particular.
So, basically, therapy should be free to prevent this.
@Trevthehedgehog7
2 ай бұрын
And yet, it's not. Because we live in a Dystopian Society.
Call me a sensitive content viewer or extremely sympathetic/empathetic person, but I'm starting to realize my biggest trigger is cartoon dog characters being portrayed as necrophiles/serial killers/evil people. Ever since seeing "Ren Seeks Help", this type of portrayal in cartoon dogs just makes my stomach churn. Like obviously I don't mind seeing a cartoon dog be a villain like in a kid friendly cartoon way, but once they start doing visually unpleasant things, I draw a line.
@MurdocNiccalsTheBestBassist
Ай бұрын
@@torytellstales I'm not an easily triggered person, but I totally get where you're coming from. I watched Ren Seeks Help at a young age since I was (and still kinda am) a Ren & Stimpy fan, but that episode really rubbed me the wrong way back then, even now it really freaks me out
@archieman68
29 күн бұрын
I completely get it,as a child those "haunted" animatronic toy dolls/teddy bears used to send me straight to tears and they still make me uneasy idk what it is about seeing such cute things made evil for the sake of it makes me uncomfortable
The Ticci Toby fit goes crazy
The way Emily talked about making the Albert movie almost reminds me of how Grant Morrison talks about the making of a hypersigil but in reverse, refusing to let it out so that the power remains until the moment its released. Interesting to learn about a creator going down a very bad rabbit hole of nonsense and how it can latch onto ones' mental illness, especially in echo chambers of other weirdos like /pol/, looking forward to seeing more content!
“The Leviathans are coming for you” phrase should honestly be used more. Its so funny knowing the context XD
7:23 that actually scared me while I was making character references for art fight😭😭
There's a lot of gross people in this fandom. From nazis to those who make disgusting fanworks
@8-ballcoverofleftflanks633
2 ай бұрын
Doesnt surprise me. Emily's one herself.
@ashfur7387
2 ай бұрын
@@8-ballcoverofleftflanks633 yeah there's one writer that writes cp of the characters... It's gross
@Shotapounder
Ай бұрын
No such thing as writing cp, are you under 15 or something?@@ashfur7387
@AwesomeYena
Ай бұрын
@@ashfur7387What!?
@annayorkchocolat7673
Ай бұрын
@@ashfur7387 I'm surprised no one is talking about the nazi part of it, I'm seriously horrified
Honestly I just feel really bad for Emily as dark as her art is she really did have a talent If only she could have got the help she needed who knows what her art would be like by now.
17:21 CLASS OF '09 REFERENCE??? BASED ALERT???
man, Emily was around the same age as me, was a creator on a website I spent a lot of my time on, and even grew up in the same city as me... I am legitimately surprised I've never heard of her
“i don’t owe you people anything, i don’t know who you are, let me be autistic in peace” *immediate subscribe*
0:48 holy shite , it’s that crazy dog girl who became a specific Austrian mustached man lover
@sucasica3845
Ай бұрын
Man with a weird, odd, ugly and even disgusting mustache.. 😰
@hiimlaury1694
Ай бұрын
As a German....he was NOT German ...He was an aussie ....gosh
@Dumbsvillefan
Ай бұрын
@@hiimlaury1694 shit you’re right
The disturbed are comforted by the disturbing, which disturbs the comfortable Edit:bro wtf I do NOT remember writing this 😭😭😭
@impi4
2 ай бұрын
"raise your words not your voice. it is rain that grows flowers not thunder." ahh 💀💀
@beach9131
2 ай бұрын
Please for the love of god DO NOT become a writer💀💀💀
@Jazzatnight3737
2 ай бұрын
@@impi4 Bruh shut up i was tryina sound smart
@fishbaiter
2 ай бұрын
corny
@impi4
2 ай бұрын
@@fishbaiter not corny at all gang
I relate to Alfred so much that he was somewhat comforting to me, and unfortunately I still somewhat do. Knowing about Emily has ruined it for me and made it impossible for me to find solace in Alfred, all I can feel is guilt for my draw to him and the series. I’m deeply ashamed of how I feel towards Alfred and wish Emily got help
@fleaasmcgee1271
2 ай бұрын
I wish I could talk about the complex feelings more often but fear being misunderstood or causing trouble or attracting Emily towards me
@B20K3
2 ай бұрын
There is nothing wrong with relating to the work a creator creates, no matter how twisted and heinous that creator is. We're all humans, and it's easy to see ourselves even in horrible people. But does that mean we are them? Not at all. I understand what it's like to feel ashamed and embarrassed when you find yourself deeply relating to the creations that someone terrible produces. But that doesn't mean you yourself are a terrible person. Nor does it mean you are supporting their toxicity. What's important, above all else, is knowing to not go down the path that the creator did. Seeking comfort in toxic, cult ideologies that slowly drag you in until you're completely enveloped. As long as you're aware of that: there will never be anything wrong with consuming and relating to media created by terrible people that you acknowledge are horrible.
I find it funny how this is actually somewhat better representation for DID than most things I've seen so far, as yes I know it's actually not that good of a representation because again nobody has a "evil alter" but still
Great video! My computer crashed halfway through watching it and I thought it was a part of the video for a good minute 😭
This shit fire and I ain't even started yet
I first watched alfred back in high school and its kind of stuck with me since. my art ive come to realize has some traits in common with youcis and its something I would think about every once in a while. I find it thematically ironic that emily ended up falling into the worst crowd and saying horrible things for, lets me real now, attention and affection. The far right offered her a place of praise and attention as long as she does and says bad shit, and she ate the figurative dog bone; ruining her life and reputation for the sake of feeling seen and loved (even if its not genuine affection).
You know when shit's gone wild when KZread warns you before even starting the video
I'm so glad I could finally find a version about this topic that I could actually watch without feeling really sick
@johnynoway9127
2 ай бұрын
you must be really weak mentally....
With the way she writes, emily is clearly a smart person, and the clear air of intelligence present in each passage we get from her adds so much to her story
Hearing someone talk about Alfred’s playhouse makes me so sad because you can see glimpses of a good idea. I was assaulted as a child and while I’ve never actually watched Alfred’s playhouse, seeing you describe it sounds so familiar. Being forced to rely on media to dissociate and separate yourself from the reality of what happened or regressing into a childlike state to stifle a panic attack is exactly what I do all the time. It’s really on point and it’s a shame that the idea wasn’t used differently. It could have ended up being really therapeutic for some many people. More so than it already is.
Alfred's playhouse is just an extremely edgy depressing and disturbing show but somehow it's what gives it it's charm
"What are you drawing? Let me see it." Just a scene of the final battle of Kirby Canvas Curse. Also keep up the video essays.
It’s really a shame, I actually like a lot of the jokes for what they are in these animations. Like the movie having “Where the Dead Go To Die” and “Where the Dead Go To Drink” is honestly really funny
It's honestly haunting listening to the "alter ego" scream and cry about having to experience the trauma that the host wasn't around for. Alters definitely do not turn "evil", that's not a thing. But I know for a fact that the trauma that I experience has to easily be just as painful for my alters, which definitely makes me feel guilty. I feel very gross about myself that I am so incapable of handling bad moments that I can't even be around. It's very crazy that Alfred's Playhouse can depict that, despite the offensive nature.
Hmmm… - Make a distrubing yet charming series starring a mentally unstable dog - It becomes popular and you gain a fanbase - Descend into madness mentally - Become a horrible and demented human being - Have a bad reputation, albeit justified, ever since the late 2010s Emily Youcis reminds me of a certain Nickelodeon animator.
@42seven
14 күн бұрын
tbf comparing a nazi to a pedophile is comparing rotten apples to rotten oranges
normally i zone out when i hear "Oh they are nazis!", because often, online anyways, its a massive exaggeration. But THIS...jesus. Thats a massive downwards spiral that just makes me sad for the woman. She dealt with some Stuff, but had the mental illness validated through fame. and politics being radicalized for years now means that someone like her would fall Deep into it. and thats just sad
@redsnake188
2 ай бұрын
Im not gonna lie the more i kept hearing alt right and reading the comments the more i was about to checkout. Your comments convinced me to stick around though
@Josue-mv2fo
Ай бұрын
@@redsnake188 she had a picture of herself carrying a sign that said "Jews R* Kids"
I'm gonna be honest, Rise of Alfred was the only vid I was able to watch without being absolutely horrified afterwards
The fact that she despises Mr. Pickles so much makes me love Mr. Pickles even more.
The "the people who put my videos in the background of them drawing" was scary😭, I'm playing with clay while watching this!!
The "hi you who just puts my videos on the background while drawing" called me out so hard that I subbed (I am drawing some graffiti to decorate my sketchbook, thanks for the acknowledgement it scared me
I thought the skibidi toilet thing was a bit lmao
i have DID, and i would like to clarify that NO systems have "evil alters." the only parallel within actual systems, be it DID or OSDD, are what the community typically calls "persecutors." persecutors are always alters who hold some sort of traumatic memory or otherwise embody a traumatic experience. they can be introjects of abusers, have similar behaviors to abusers, or have SH behaviors. 90% of the time, they DO NOT harm anyone outside of their system. they are the members of the system that have been hurt the most, it is not their fault. therapy can help them a lot, i know from my own experience with one of the members of my system, and they can become incredibly strong protectors for the system. DID looks different for everyone who has it. that all being said, i genuinely appreciate the absurdist humor and genuine horror of the original alfred's playhouse. as someone with DID and a survivor of CSA, i can see a lot of myself and my system in this series. i was a maladaptive daydreamer until i was around 17-18, and i realize now that it was one of my only ways of coping. i had no friends. i was a scared, traumatized kid who didn't know what i was doing wrong. i had no support but my system. realizing that the imaginary friends that i would always think about were real in some sense was just as horrifying as it was oddly comforting. i had no idea what happened to me. learning more about the years i missed when some of my alters were "filling in" for me was heartbreaking. the scene genuinely depicts the pure, inescapable feeling of anguish, dread, and confusion that a diagnosis of DID can bring. at the time, i was horrified. i felt like i wasn't in control of the one thing i felt i should have had control over. now, years later, with therapy and finding community, i'm not afraid. i don't hate my system, i don't hate my past. i love my alters, i love the family we have become and the bond we share. i love my community, my support system, my friends. the horror of DID and/or plurality from the perspective of the system is rarely ever touched on… and i can't help but wonder what a series that showed this in earnest and stayed that way would be like. it's disappointing that the creator went down such a bizarre path when they genuinely could have made something with a lot of meaning to people like me.
@bendykid4908
Ай бұрын
I'm sorry you had to go through so much, and I hope you're doing better now.
I don't agree with her actions, but I do feel bad for how those beliefs and actions developed. She had such amazing potential, artistically and musically, and it all went down the drain because she found comfort in something that is (for good reason) frowned apon. I just hope she knows peace in life one day, though that isn't likely due to her husband also being a radical extremist so her beliefs won't be changing any time soon. But from one traumatized person to another, there are better ways of finding community and solace.
@yeager14
20 күн бұрын
If it makes you feel any better, I think her family has been really grounding and good for her. Her husband convinced her to stop doing all drugs and Shes stopped animation all together. from her podcast she did with other nazi wives and mothers it's obvious she's much happier and more stable than she's ever been even if she's more bigoted.
@thebipus8694
19 күн бұрын
@@yeager14 I'm glad she's found stability, but not at the cost of hatred for other human beings....
your audience is NOT small by any means, you are killing it
bruh i thought this was an analysis about a horror game😭😭😭
@ant3nna_films
Ай бұрын
REAL
@sagetheforestcat921
28 күн бұрын
SAME WHAT 😭
I feel a bit sad seeing what Emily has become, because she definitely had potential with her gifted voice and talent in animation. She went from a traumatised animator with genuine talent to someone whose entire identity is extremist politics. Honestly this is probably one of the best examples of why people in a troubled mental state shouldnt look too far into politics.
Newgrounds has everything: games, gore, animation, videos, and porn.
I panicked when i heard “jesus christ (corn) star”, i’m a huge fan of Jesus Christ Superstar (even planning on watching it live in Australia) and my goodness that shooked me to my core 😭
HOW DID SOMEONE GET BANNED FROM 4CHAN?!?!!
@kittyfan1488
Ай бұрын
holy shit that is an achievement like no other
At one point I talked to her and commissioned art from her. This is how my pitbull fursona came to be. I do NOT and NEVER will share the same political views as her. My character was created by chance. I have no plan on getting rid of her. I am separating the art from the artist. And no, this art in my profile pic is not what Emily drew. But what she DID draw was just a cute picture of Blueberry and Alfred sitting by a fireplace. That's it. No politics or anything disgusting. I stopped talking to Emily and will not engage with her again.
@codeinexrist
Ай бұрын
how was she in conversation? id imagine at the time she was much more coherent
@blueberrypitbull87
Ай бұрын
@@codeinexrist Yeah, I guess. To be honest I was afraid of mentioning any of this because people tend to like to take things out of proportion. They like to go over the top and assume things of people who had interacted with certain people in the past. As I said before, I do not share the same views as her. In fact, sometimes I want to go to her socials and tell her that she is wrong and she should really reconsider her views. But it is better to not poke the bear. (So to speak).
This doesn't have anything to do with Emily or her work but I've watched two of your videos so far and I'm really glad that you're not secretive about being a victim of sexual trauma, especially CSA. I hate that I can't even talk about my experiences without being seen as venting or trauma dumping, even if I just mention my trauma where it's relevant and in a completely neutral manner. It makes people so uncomfortable that CSA victims (at least in my experience/with people I've talked to) are frequently told (directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally) to not talk about their trauma, which just leads to more of us feeling isolated, unsupported, and alone. So, it's good to hear someone else casually mentioning/talking about their own trauma, especially on a widely public video. More people need to talk about it, so more people realize how sickeningly common it actually is, and more can be done to stop it. I hate how it happens to you when you don't have a voice, and then by the time you're old enough to finally talk about it, people ask you why you aren't over it yet, it was so many years ago...
This reminds of kanye but imagine if kanye did all his 2022 stuff during life of pablo
@sexygirlmax2019
2 ай бұрын
exactly, mental breakdowns leave you so susceptible to falling into alt right stuff. some people also theorized that he went crazy after seeing a specific therapist 1 time. Who knows what happened. The same thing happened to a former soldier who was court assigned a therapist and he went crazy after 1 session.
@sexygirlmax2019
2 ай бұрын
*the therapist used to work on MKUltra
Quinn lock in I need more videos
aw hell nah yo ass tweaking alfred!!!
Alfred Alfer is probably my most embarrassing hyperfixation
@Retsiger
2 ай бұрын
It’s times like this where we wish we could control our hyperfixations…
@ShyloTheFox
Ай бұрын
My curiosity is taking over.. I understand it is traumatising but should.. i watch it..? :/
@Retsiger
Ай бұрын
@@ShyloTheFox I mean if you want you can no one can really police what you watch, for me it portrays distress and trauma pretty accurately, (for me) and that’s what makes it really nerve wracking
@ShyloTheFox
Ай бұрын
Oh no. (I watched it)
Emily has got to be one of the most interesting yet depraved people to ever leave her mark on the internet. For better or for worse, I hope she knocks off all the right wing bullshit and heals from her trauma.
@Sleepykiddoo
Ай бұрын
I find the depraved interesting but horribly concerning. Not many people talk about it
@skyrimenjoyer792
Ай бұрын
@@Sleepykiddoo Real shit! Same with Chris-Chan if you know her, can never skip a video going over all the shit she’s pulled in the past.
Omg I’ve actually watched another KZread video about this so it’s very interesting to see someone else talking about it, just started but know this is gonna be a dozy
I feel like I could’ve ended up like Emily. I was really edgy since the age 12 because of past traumatic experiences and things got worse after 13 with lockdown and other traumas. I was falling off the deep end and I often found comfort in being over the top edgy. Looking back at myself I can tell that I wasn’t a good person, I wasn’t a bad one either but I did some stuff I’m not proud of, I was very manipulative. The thing that saved me was my phone and my IPad breaking at the same time, not even joking. For a whole year I had little to no access to the internet due to my family not doing too great financially, but in that time I think I discovered myself, a better version of me. On one hand I’m really sorry for Emily and how her trauma turned in the worst version of herself, on the other I know that wasn’t the only possible outcome, I may be childish but I hope she gets some senses back, and I hope her kids grow up better.