His intentions for skipping the party are entirely selfless. Not an asshole.

@CBman11037

Ай бұрын

One can selflessly be an asshole you know

@RobertLutece909

Ай бұрын

If that's what his real intentions are and he's not grasping for an excuse. The fact is, he's the kid's father. For good or ill.

@ciao_knives7604

Ай бұрын

He's not an asshole for being afraid of being a bad influence for his child. He just needs to see that he can turn his bad choices into a good influence for his daughter.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

I beg to differ. I think he IS being selfish. He is too scared to own up to what he is and take responsibility. So he hides behind the excuse of "Im a criminal and that will mess up my daughter's life". I call BS. He's doing what he's always done for his entire life. Run from the consequences of his actions. He can choose to be better and be there for his kid.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

​​​@@ciao_knives7604EXACTLY! Thank you! No matter how much he wants to deny it, that kid is still his responsibility. His flesh and blood. If he were to take responsibility, get clean and live an honest life, his criminal past would serve as a bad example. He can sit his girl down and explain that dad some bad stuff in the past, he paid the price. But dad still loves her no matter what and that she will be better than her father. More importantly, Lead by example. What kind of example is running away from your responsibility setting to your kid? Does OP not think, being a criminal deadbeat dad isn't gonna affect his kid when they get older. Kid's eventually gonna wonder where dad is and why he wasn't in her life

Your breaking Tenma's heart, just go to the fucking bday party Pips

@asdrubaelvect8038

Ай бұрын

You got a laugh.

He has been absent for her entire life and they both agreed that was for the best, It sounds like the mother wants something if she's reeling him back in like this

@ggs3442

Ай бұрын

She kept him around as her plan B.

@Ronan-ht6jc

Ай бұрын

​@@ggs3442 No, the guy she married was the plan B to take care of another man's kid, she's now trying to get back with Plan A and then will go with plan C when this doesn't work

@groundtank

Ай бұрын

I have seen this scenario multiple times. Usually when the dads get back with the moms they go back to being bitches.

@brucejedilee5290

Ай бұрын

​@@groundtank I think she just wants her daughter to have a father which the Internet keeps saying is important. He ain't the best option though

@frozenheartedgiant8330

Ай бұрын

@@brucejedilee5290 scientific studies point to the fact that parents with two children do better than children with one parent, I’d say that is pretty indisputable at this point.

Should he meet his daughter? Yes. But the mother just got divorced... umm... I smell a rat.

@brucejedilee5290

Ай бұрын

I think she just wants her daughter to have a father, or she is sad because the other guy left and she is rebunding to her ex.

@MDG-mykys

Ай бұрын

Oh, I though the daughter got divorced, lmao, I'm glad that wasn't the case.

@kenjethao7774

Ай бұрын

@@MDG-mykys Same, went back to double and it checks out. Got arrested at 19 and decided with gf it was better to stay out of daughter life. Assuming gf would’ve been a similar age as him then the daughter would likely be around 5 give or take a few years.

@Pan_Z

Ай бұрын

Regardless of the mother's intentions, this is about the daughter.

@CRAZEH247

Ай бұрын

@@Pan_Z Nope.

He's practically a stranger anyway. Nothing wrong with staying that way.

@ciao_knives7604

Ай бұрын

Literally everyone involved is bothered by it, so how is it not a problem. The child wants to know her father, the mother wants her child to know her father, and the father is simply afraid of being a bad influence, which he will unintentionally become by remaining a stranger to her.

@haikcube

Ай бұрын

@@ciao_knives7604 Both parties agreed to not to let the father be with the daughter when father first got arrested at age 19 and went in and out several more times after. practically/probably divorced, mother got remarried at age 21, father happy for both of them, mother divorced and all of a sudden, she decided she wanted the father to come back into the picture in a public setting? In short, the father does not want to renter the relationship and it's his prerogative to remain distant.

@ciao_knives7604

Ай бұрын

@haikcube make all the excuses you want. That's your perogative. Doesn't change the fact that there is objective wrong and right.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

And that's the issue. He is her father. Nothing in the world is gonna change that. He shouldn't have been a stranger in her life for this long anyway. Now he has a chance to make things right. To get his life in order and be in his kid's life. But no. He wants to double down and compound his failure

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

​@@haikcube no sht. The kid needed a dad. OP was a useless criminal so she decided to go get a man who's got his life together. Things didn't end up working out. So instead of trying to get with some other stranger she wants the kid's biological dad to actually be a dad and step up. Im not saying the mom is a saint. Infact she's made several stupid decisions by getting with this unstable dude and having his kid. But the ball is in OPs court. That's his daughter. He owes it to her to get his life together. Its his responsibility. The daughter is gonna grow up damaged anyway if she experiences broken home after broken home. Failed marriage after failed marriage. While also thinking her real dad doesn't love her enough to be in her life. OP can make sure that doesn't happen

He's owning up to his faults and trying to shield his baby girl from the monster inside him. NTA.

@DIEGhostfish

Ай бұрын

If he knows those faults he's also using staying away from her as a substitute for actually getting over those failings.

@IRCraziestTaxi

Ай бұрын

​@@DIEGhostfishpeople don't change bro. This ain't the Hallmark channel.

@Bluelyre

Ай бұрын

@@DIEGhostfish I can assure you that someone that damaged is about as well adjusted as he is ever going to be.

@NarfireVA

Ай бұрын

​@@IRCraziestTaxidamn I'd hate to have your mindset

@IRCraziestTaxi

Ай бұрын

@@NarfireVA I mean, me too. And I do. lol

NTA. With the context of the divorce, it seems like the ex is trying to use this to drag him back into her own life. If the daughter only found out her "father" wasn't her biological father when they got divorced from the mother telling her than the mother is an A. Should of spoken with him, and talked about a way to work out the situation of getting him into her life. Yes he may be using his past behavior as an excuse which is an A move, but those acts are pretty bad and should be handled carefully.

@baldeaglearrage3450

Ай бұрын

She just wants to get back with him and trap him in the relationshit. She clearly seems to have issues if her husband left her. Even if I'd like to think she wasn't using her husband as a place holder until she felt the father might be ok. This still feels sleezy and underhanded and very much like she was only putting up with the husband for his utility.... Why the complete disregard for the daughter now? What has changed? I'm more or less scared for the kid now! This is just weird and I hate it! I don't like any of it!

@RambleOn07

Ай бұрын

​@@baldeaglearrage3450she is 100% a terrible person. After all, she had a kid with op.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

Drag him back? This was part of his life from the beginning. It's his kid. His responsibility. The fact that OP is running from the consequences of his actions proves that his time in prison has taught him NOTHING.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

​@@RambleOn07 on that we agree. She's a clown for getting with a basketcase like OP and an even bigger one for having his kid

@viktorgabriel2554

Ай бұрын

yes but i still think he should say hy to his child

If they do meet up, do it in private, on any day that isn't her fucking birthday. If the man is as much of a dangerous fuck-up as he says he is, then it's best that they keep contact to a minimum

@KingBobbito

Ай бұрын

Right? This one has never made sense to me, people always try to ruin birthdays or holidays when they want to reintroduce an absent parent when it makes so much more sense to just meet up on a random uneventful day.

@RipleysSanatorium

Ай бұрын

Well said

No, the agreement was made and things only changed when the mother got divorced.

Normally I'd say yes but the red flag I think is more from the mom wanting to replace husband she divorced, as that seems to be the reason he was invited to begin with

@Pan_Z

Ай бұрын

The mother may merely be wanting their daughter to have a proper father figure in her life. It may be more parasitical, but the post is light in details about it.

The ex begging for his return feels like there's an ulterior motive Not the Ahole for him activating his danger avoidance instinct

As a bastard myself i wish my father was this selfless in choosing to stay away in her case. Once she's an adult maybe go talk to her but until then sticking to the agreement is wise. Especially since she was raised by her stepfather and the divorce is probably the only reason the mother started talking about him.

Roastie gets divorced and suddenly wants him back in the picture. Hmm makes you think.

@KingBobbito

Ай бұрын

I get Pippa is the 4chan rabbit but do people outside /pol/ actually use the word roastie unironically?

@menotme8085

Ай бұрын

​@@KingBobbito other boards do so frequently enough, r9k for example

@KingBobbito

Ай бұрын

@@menotme8085 I only use /tg/ and /vt/ so maybe I'm just insulated from it

@KingBobbito

Ай бұрын

@@menotme8085 wtf why was my reply deleted I literally just said I use tg and vt, did the /'s piss off youtube

@Zeakthecat

Ай бұрын

yea the mom isn't really winning any mother of the year awards anytime soon, theres some shit going on.

Congrats to pippa for becoming a father, I knew the femboy allegations were true

Speaking from personal experience, sometimes no dad is better than a bad dad. A good man would turn himself into the kind of person his daughter needs, but at least I can respect his decision to stay away if he can't get his shit together.

@ggs3442

Ай бұрын

If we go by statistics, no dad is very rarely better than having one. But there are most definitely cases. This one though? I doubt it would harm her, but her mom only kept him around as a plan B, so anything that was agreed before should take preference.

@Hell_O7

Ай бұрын

​@@ggs3442 She's sending news about how their child is doing, because no matter what he is still the father. If he's as bad as he said he is, I don't think "keeping him as Plan B" is the first thing on her mind.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

Right now OP can choose. He can choose to be "good dad" or "no dad". He can turn himself into that good man his daughter needs him to be. He can still own up to his actions in the past and choose to be better. Teach his daughter to do better. Instead he wants to choose to keep running from the consequences of his actions. Running from his responsibility. I don't think we should be giving him points for that

@papapotato408

Ай бұрын

@inquisitionagent9052 I agree wholeheartedly. Despite my loose use of the word "respect", I'm not giving him any points. All I'm saying is that if he knows he's not going to be able to kick his addictions, stay out of jail, and keep his anger under control then the next best thing he can do for his daughter is at least not fuck her life up more than it already is.

@mr.brazilian5167

Ай бұрын

​@@ggs3442no? No dad is definitely better than having a shitty one, as it only leads to a completely fucked up child mentally who is scarred and unstable if they are a really actually bad dad.

Tough situation. That seems like a lot of emotional baggage to throw at a child right after her mother and father figure divorce. Especially at a birthday party where she'd wants to play with her friends not meet some stranger her mom says is her real dad.

@Zeakthecat

Ай бұрын

yea, hes got some issues to work through before doing anything with his daughter.

Nah, if he doesn’t want to show then that’s fair imo. Good short-form idea!

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

Yeah, he can choose to be a deadbeat dad and run from his responsibility. Doesn't make it good though

@Mare_Man

24 күн бұрын

​@@inquisitionagent9052 They already agreed he shouldn't have contact. There is no responsibility.

This is an exceptional descision by the dad and is absolutely right. He is self concious about his life and doesn't want her daughter to make the same mistakes as him.

Yes. I say this as someone in a similar scenario. The a answer is not avoid the situation. It's be the man you think she deserves to have as a father. The former is the cowards way out. The latter is a man's way forward.

Uh oh. Fishman finally replaced her with a tiktok AI that just reads reddit posts.

Personally I don't think simply meeting his daughter is a bad idea. But I can understand feeling like the mom just wants to reel him in so I'm unsure.

At least he is aware, if he goes and cannot control his temper and leaves a bad image that will stick forever, he is really not an a hole for choose to not go.

Mom is using daughter as an excuse to lure him back in

@kylewoodowens4488

Ай бұрын

Oh most definitely

Maby, at some point when the girl is older and this guy gets his life together, he can have a relationship with his daughter. But I think that if this guy doesn't think that he is ready for that, then he probably shouldn't.

His exe is probably trying to hook back up with him since she's single now or maybe trying to see if he's well enough to try again with, especially since it her kids dad.

Sounds to me like the the ex is trying to rebound to him disguising it as including him in their daughter's life.

Pippa? Pippa? Pippa? Pippa? Pippa? Pippa?

@edgarbanuelos6472

Ай бұрын

Few some severe. Very severe

@akabonga

Ай бұрын

Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes?

@DakkaSap

Ай бұрын

hai, pippa desu

@coominrider

27 күн бұрын

She needs to be corrected 💢

It's sad that he isn't in his daughter's life but his heart is in the right place. I can't say whether or not it will be good in the long run though but it's not my life to live

Who else thought this was about Pippa missing Nyana's birthday stream?

Yeah, just run dude, you're already out and that's probably where you're going to want to be

If anyone is in the wrong, it's the mother for telling the daughter all about him first and using that to try to cajole him into reentering their lives. There's a big difference between "I want her to meet you" and "I told her about you and now she wants to meet you".

pipkin pippa you absolutely need to take your medicine or the voices wont stop

I'd say his motivation for staying away is good but ultimately he should be trying to be a better man. Being a fuckup isn't an excuse to wallow in your own failures and stay the same, learn to control anger and work hard on not being a criminal. The moment he had a child was the moment he needed to shape up and be better, that duty has not gone away.

Hearing the background music Henya use in a Pippa short about AITA is giving me whiplash

Vtuber Reddit, New brainrot just dropped

@johntippin

Ай бұрын

?

I love the editing here and the little pippa

Not the asshole. The fact the ex mentioned she is single again and that is what trigger the revelation of the real dad to the daughter, tells me everything. She is using the daughter and her bd party to try and get together with him again.

That level of self-awareness and respect for his family that he doesn't want them to see him and emulate his bad behavior, he's definitely not the a-hole.

I'm a bit shellshocked from experiencing sane Pippa. It's... nice.

"It seems pretty clear cut to me," Pippa Pipkin, the Professional Instigator.

Yeah maybe for the best he doesnt show up

when a good father says no the his child, it's for a very good reason.. 😢😢😢

Holy crap NTA bigtime. The mom is screaming red flags and he's absolutely being responsible

I get it. He doesn't see himself as a good role model and doesn't want to negatively effect his children.

I love how we have to be respectful and yet Pippa says fuck you lmao ! I love you Pippa!

Dude knows he's bad news, which is respectable. Keep the foxes out of the chicken coop

The dad has priorities, the mother just wants to rebound and is going after a past fling.

Came for funny, stayed for real feels

It depends on what the kid wants. If the kid is interested in meeting him, then he should go, if not, then he should keep his distance. Some people just aren’t cut out to be parents, and that’s ok.

@1stCallipostle

Ай бұрын

There's the extra angle though of his ex clearly trying to pull him back in. Imagine finally spending time with your daughter but your ex is over your shoulder trying to guilt you into getting back with her the whole time. Especially if you still haven't solved your own problems.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

Then don't have kids. "Im not cut out for this" is not an excuse.

@theslipknotlobster7794

Ай бұрын

@@inquisitionagent9052 So you know what it’s like to have a kid and be a parent before having one? Where can I acquire your powers of pre-cognition?

@theslipknotlobster7794

Ай бұрын

@@1stCallipostle Yeah, what tips me off is the divorce. The mom is most likely wanting to bring a father figure back into the picture and figured “why not the dangerous felon who stays away for the safety and wellbeing of our child”.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

@@theslipknotlobster7794 and wtf would know about raising kids? Just the way you talk is enough to tell me you don't have the faintest inkling of the level of responsibility children bring. Don't lecture me about parenthood when you think one's own kids is something they can just walk away from

Definitely NTA, he's acknowledging his many screw ups and doesn't want it to affect his daughters life, completely valid and understandable, it's better for the daughter to not be around someone like that, if he cleans up his life majorly, then yes being in her life might be an option, but not under these circumstances

...This is the plot of the first Yakuza game

I thought that Pippa was talking about herself at first 💀

I can see were the dad stands here, he's practically a stranger to the kid and knows he's all but a good influence, also the ex might be trying to get back with him

Nah, typical woman move, only asking him to come because her husband left

@Pan_Z

Ай бұрын

It's not about his ex. It's about his daughter. She deserves a father figure.

@LegendofTryhards

Ай бұрын

@@Pan_Z She has a father figure, AND is happily married.

@SpaceElvisInc

Ай бұрын

@@Pan_Z The ex suggested and op agreed that he shouldn't be in the picture, but suddenly when the ex's husband leaves her, she suddenly wants op back in the picture and it's suddenly important for him to be there.

@Spiritwonder420

Ай бұрын

​@@Pan_Zit is actually schocker females are not perfect

I was coming into this thinking that they'd be the asshole... turns out they are actually quite sensible and realize that they'd not be a good influence in their daughter's life.

I personally think that he's reflecting on his wrongdoings and EVEN AGREED with his ex that he wasn't gonna be a good father if he stuck around (which is a W). If he STILL thinks despite his change of heart that it's not a good idea to be around, he is doing the right thing.

Guys, a father is very important, but a bad father is worse than no father.

I need that smol pippa image.

I dont think he's the Ahole, while it would probably be nice to go he was never in their life to begin with.

Pippa reading AITA post is great

She wants him to pay child support

Atleast he's self aware of his faults and shortcomings, not trying to mask or pretend they don't exist so that it bites him on the back later on. He's a criminal with a good heart and he knows it, not selfish or a-hole

The mom should’ve asked for his opinion before spilling the beans about him to their daughter. The decision to not be in the picture was made by the two of them, so why would the decision to revert that be okay to decide solo?

This isn’t a Reddit story, this is just Pippa talking about irl life

NTA. It doesn't even seem like it's really an argument anyway.

I had an uncle who had not one but two kids from the same woman. They knew him and everything. I think they even were willing to call him dad sometimes. Problem is, he was also kind of a scumbag. He was nice and he never hurt anyone, but he was literally a bum. I can tell you from watching it take place first hand, they were better off without him. I'm pretty sure everyone knew that too. Including the mom and the kids. To his credit, he knew that too, so he didn't bother them too much either.

I think the little birthday hat on the ahoge is peak.

This short is a trip.

"Sorry im a real person." Thats the problem, i like the version of you in my head better.

Yk, I respect why he doesn't wanna come. NTA.

Career criminals are assholes by default, but in this specific moment, he is not. Good on him.

Jeez that story hits a bit close to home

I feel sorry for that kid.

I'm sorry Pippa, when you asked AITA, I automatically said yes.

I commend the man for being self aware enough to be say he knows he's a shitty person, and doesn't want to rub that off on his kid

This is the reverse of that guy in Squid Game, don't go.

Man, some people really do be living mexican tv drama lives

ooooh i like this format for shorts, good idea pippers

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT URSELF UNTIL I READ THE VIDEO CAPTION- (Btw love the model!)

We had a similar situation in our family. I can see which family members but it’s terrible. When a daughter wants to see her father and the father doesn’t want to visit that’s what she’s gonna think if you don’t show up

NTA. Father or not, if hes been in and out of prison, and especially with the mom already agreeing hes not safe to be around their kid, hes making the right call. This is a man who understands he's a danger and is taking the correct steps; mom sounds lonely.

Sometimes no dad at all is better than a walking psychological scar waiting to happen. Now, if the daughter, at a later age wants to meet him, that's on her. Maybe the relationship just needs time, but this is probably the safest bet this time around.

@inquisitionagent9052

Ай бұрын

Statistics would disagree.

I would say NTA. Every reason he stated is 100% reasonable and he seems to just be trying to protect his daughter. Besides, from the sound of it he's never been in her life, so him randomly coming back and on HER BIRTHDAY of all times, might not end well.

"My aura corrupts the youth, i cant show up, she'll become a criminal!"

That dude needs therapy, mainly cause the mom is clearly having an emotional tail spin and the kid needs SOMEONE to step up and be responsible. If he’s so concerned about the kid’s upbringing, then he should be able to see that. Also, not the asshole, but he’s avoiding his responsibilities.

A big event like a birthday and not wanting to ruin it is understandable. If you are going to meet it shouldn't be on a special occasion.

Some people shouldn't be parents, and he understands that. Some see it as his responsibility because its his kid but they both agreed from the start that he shouldn't be in their lives and the mother has sole custody, legally i dont think he would even be considered the father if he gave up all custody rights. By telling the daughter about him before asking if he would come to the party, the mother basically used her child as a weapon to drag him into their lives, which everyone agreed was a bad idea.

Never seen a vtuber share so much of their personal life

Those eyes can cast a demon out of me

The girl needs her father. ESH for breaking off contract in the first place.

That divorce could be seen coming from a mile away. If you know, you know.

He's not, reeling an ex back in after a divorce is just weird. It's easy to say the guy should at least meet his daughter but that would just make her expect something more, and this ain't a movie, people rarely ever change and the guy knows this.

Not the a-hole Should first meet the mother and make sure she doesn't have an agenda, because it's mighty suspicious she suddenly insists on this after her divorce Though it might just be that the daughter really wants to meet him now that the mom talks about him As for his fear of showing the wrong example, if he limits his interactions he should be able to control the example he gives her However, if this is just an excuse, and he just doesn't want to get involved, forcing it might lead to more heartbreak for the kid down the road

Love this short form content peepa NTA, given the context, but he should still see his daughter

Pippa: “am I the a-hole”. I mean, it's Pippa, it’s not even a question by this point

Recognize he said “not wanting to” Not that he wished he could but the circumstances don’t feel right for him to be there.

My opinion is that the dad should come see his daughter, just not at such a big event as her party. Maybe the day after, they have a "family" dinner together. The dad is right in recognizing his faults, and doing his best to keep his daughter safe, but she should have some connection with him despite that. As someone whose parents were divorced at a young age, and lost my father before I was 10, a bond with him is important, even if it is infrequent. Especially if the father has issues, the daughter should see the good sides of him, when she can, while avoiding the bad as much as possible until she is older. The dad shouldn't put himself in a position where he could cause large damage like at a birthday party. But in small stakes events and outings where major issues can be kept to a minimum and mostly controlled.

NTA. His reasoning is more for his daughter's benefit than his own, but I'd say the ex is being one. Now if the daughter herself invited him, maybe.

Wasn't prepared for this today

Maybe encourage the daughter to reach out. IF she wants too.