I don’t know if it’s an autistic thing but I have never really felt jealous of anyone, I’m happy with my lot, I drive a small car and also have a small scooter that I enjoy bimbling around on, I could afford bigger and better but I don’t see the point, I also struggle to understand the people that always feel the need to keep up with the joneses especially when they cannot afford to do this. When I got my new car a few years ago a s small Suzuki celerio one of the staff that I work with could not work out why I had got this rather than a second hand BMW or Audi, I tried to explain to them that I wanted a new car that was going to be reliable, they could not get their head around this and I don’t think that they can to this day,and the second hand Audi that they chose to buy has spent most of it’s time sat on their drive awaiting it’s next costly repair.🤔

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

I drive the least undressing car out if the all 10 of who I work with. I didn't go for fancy, I went for a 5 star NCAP rated car as I spend a lot of time on the road and wanted to be safe. I was asked similar to you of why I didn't go 'better'. It goes the same speed and has climate control, I don't need a different one. And when I need a new one, I'll get the same car again as I'm used to it.

When I was brand-new in a job I really had wanted, I was assigned to work with a woman on a project. She would not speak to me, giving me the cold shoulder and treating me with what I can only describe as hatred. I was puzzled because she was a complete stranger to me and I to her. She tried to make my life difficult and behaved very poorly to me. As time went on and seeing her on other projects with other people, I realized she was a pathologically jealous person, always wanting things that others had and actually hating them for it. She undercut people when she got the chance. Thinking about this in light of what you said, she was not very competent because she did not focus on doing the things needed to succeed. She focused on what others had that she wanted. It must have been exhausting to do this and non-productive. There are two ways to be competitive. One is to see excellence in another and strive to be that good yourself, or to surpass that. This can be healthy if you are mostly focused on your development, like a competitive athlete. The other is to resent what others have and try to get those things without developing or working hard. This likely eats away at a person. She always seemed like a very unhappy person.

@AdultwithAutism

10 ай бұрын

Her type of attitude will never allow happiness. Her loss!

Hi Paul, I don't get jealousy either. My partner and I have gone without for a long time. We saved. Only purchased what we could afford. We have a nice house in a nice neighborhood and we have some cool toys. Like you we put in the hard work. I still put In the hard work. Every once in a while at work a younger coworker will say "you are so lucky." In which I reply not so much. I worked hard for what I have. When I was your age I lived in a one bedroom apartment and saved! Walked miles in the snow barefoot😂. Ok we don't get snow in California! Anyway, another great video! Stay cool!

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Haha. Yep, back in my day I worked a 25 hour day 8 days a week!

I guess I'm on the same page with you, Paul, in terms of my difficulties in getting my head around folks who get jealous over me, my life (or anyone else, for the matter). I just don't get jealousy. I wouldn't be able to afford such an extremely draining and toxic state of mind. It would destroy me. At the same time, I don't believe in an "easy life" at all. There's not such a thing, in my view. Even the most glossy and shiny facades most likely hide a lot of things that might make some of those jealous folks lose their jealousy, had they had a chance to walk in those people's shoes for a while. Thanks for your video!

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Certainly isn't an easy life, there is always something! But we just have to make the best of what we've got, and if we want more...put in the hard work! But right now, all I want is aircon! 😂

@in-serenesanity4514

2 жыл бұрын

"now, all I want is aircon! 😂" - which, I bet, has no chance of exciting jealousy in you - for those who have it! :)

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Haha, I have a commercial grade fan that I almost have to cling on to the chair to not blow over. That'll have to do for now!!

@armandrioux3660

2 ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism If you put one or more ICE BUCKETS between the fan and you, that would cool you down some more. I tried it and it worked.

I never thought the fact I don’t get jealous of people was due to autism 😮😮😮😮

Most of my siblings are jealous of me. I think part of it has to do with the fact that they had kids and I didn't. I can do what I want. But what they don't know or understand is that I have sensory issues and live with a level of anxiety that I wouldn't wish on anyone. They think I'm happy and free - I think they made bad decisions, especially considering how we were raised. No doubt they are traumatizing their children. My world is small. It's relatively predictable. I have moments of joy and ease, but my life is not as "carefree" as some people might think.

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

It's amazing how some people perceive us and how they think we are, especially behind closed doors👍🏻

@turtleanton6539

5 ай бұрын

Indeed

Hey Paul, I never understood jealousy. I may have wanted something like what i seen somebody else had, but to get upset that they had it seems ridiculous. When i was little we were poor. Lived that way a lot of my life. I've also had it good a few times as well. But most of it's been a struggle. I never thought more or less of anyone for what that had or didn't have. Opportunities are different for everyone, some arise and some you manage to make for yourself. Everyone's life is different and comes with it's own set of difficulties. Jealousy seems like a waste of time and energy. It just doesn't make sense to me. Thanks Paul. Still smiling!

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Hey Joseph, I should have just said it as clearly as you have, it'd have saved me 30 mins haha! Totally agree.

After all the videos i saw of Adult With Autism, i have to say you are a fantastic human being, i'm sure we would be good friends. I'm not yet diagnosed but i think i will be. There is an institution in France called CRA (Autism Research Center). It is difficult to have an appointment but with a letter i wrote and the letter of my psychiatrist, i got one and i'm ecstatic. I have the feeling that i will understand a lot of things about my life... Why this, why that. Why i'm asocial, why i'm obsessed with justice, why i eat my food in a certain manner (i have to have the same amount of each «element» of the meal during all the meal). Why i love the darkness (i have my curtains always 3/4 shutted down). Why i'm very very sensible to noise (good for me, i work in the music production industry... Not that simple) etc. I could continue. Your videos are very inspiring and very well thinked and «scripted». I love them. Thank you Paul.

This video motivates me on a deep level. I don’t get jealous over people’s money or anything either. I just want to be comfortable. It’s so hard to get over the resistance to do something hard when the work load is very high to make that thing happen. Maintaining seems to be easier. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video with so much honesty and quality on any platform. Your work is so needed for our community. You’re an inspiration for me. Keep up the great content and I hope your life just keeps getting better for you with all the hard work you put in. I’ll think of this message today when I tackle some things I’ve been putting off for a long time. Thanks Paul.

@AdultwithAutism

6 ай бұрын

Thank you, I am really glad that you like the channel.

But, but, but you look great sporting the green Perfect Paul! Yes, the little green eyed jelly monster can sneak up on people most often in the best of times and in the worst of times. Best to stay in the average of times when possible. Good stuff doesn’t come easy and that’s the crux of it. I’ve gone through a downright terrifying difficult spell financially these past six years and I have been very appreciative of friends and neighbors who have been there with me trying to help me find a way to survive based on my limitations. It’s tough. That core thing you speak of is the problem it would seem. I am who I am at my core the ways and means of most I can’t embrace. But, sometimes being who I am just isn’t sufficient today. I used to have what it takes and be able to dig deep to come up with what it takes for the win, but no well to draw from there anymore. But I don’t feel jelly. I don’t want to be like those that encourage me to be like them. He thought maybe he could be you. But he isn’t. So sad he couldn’t find a way to be ok with that and mocked. Feels bad. That’s a deep hole he crawled in. Keep doing you. He’s going to keep doing him. At the end of the day it’s best to simply be true to what you feel is your right and your wrong, true to self, and carry on. But stop making bets on the beard! No one is worth that! Enjoyed the vid❤️

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

True, thanks Karen, and sorry its been tough. Definitely know how it feels when you're running on fumes too so you're not alone there. It sounds like you had good people around you which is hard to find. And well done for noticing the green t shirt, it was done on purpose as a reference to the green eyed monster! 😂

Hey Paul, great video 😊

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Mia, hope you're keeping well.

I have autism and struggle with jobs my whole life, truth also is that you can do the hard work and still not get good results.

@AdultwithAutism

3 ай бұрын

I agree. I've spent a lifetime putting in the hard work to get minimal results. But if I never put in the hard work, I would never have hit the minimal outcome, so it's almost like we have to put in double hard work at times. 👍🏻

Treat yourself one day and get a portable air conditioner plus an air con window seal 😁 additionally it's good to insulate the air con pipe with a blanket and some aluminium foil to avoid heat from the pipe 😁 it's a blessing today ☀️ we have ours third season now and it was worth every penny 👍

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

I definitely need to look into something. Currently looking at tents to sleep in the garden haha!

Hi Paul haven’t listened to this particular topic yet but I feel I will probably relate in the same way I have to many of your others.Thank you for your honesty on your version of autism. I’m 53 and through family therapy it’s been recognised that I’m likely autistic?! Makes sense in hindsight and hearing an alternative perspective from yourself.But probably not going to seek further medical diagnosis because it’s proven pointless in other areas. Anyway not only that but my brother died 4 years ago this year and you really remind me of him and so even after death I’ve gained a much greater understanding of who he was and why he lived like he did. Thank you and I like your opening lines,makes me feel safe like Ronseal? (Does what it says on the tin!)😅

I get vehemently jealous of people & that's a clue I'm in a deeper burnout. Seeing people have friends, connecting, having fun. I need to turn away sometimes because it's really painful! All I do is work/sleep/work/sleep. Very unbalanced.

@AdultwithAutism

9 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear that. I've done a video that'll be coming out in the future that touches on that mindset. But good to hear you have points that you can notice when your burnout is getting worse. I'm still trying to find earlier indicators of my burnouts.

Excellent. I hope you see yourself as the 🐸 and not the 🦂 in your favorite story!!

@AdultwithAutism

10 ай бұрын

Sure do...I hope 😂

@armandrioux3660

2 ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism As a frog, remain aware to not cary scorpions on your back!!! Hop away from them.

"look at him with his matching shoes!" 🤣 💀🤣💀I get jealous over biscuits too, especially chocolate ones with a cuppa for dunking. As for the two faced guy - May I suggest sitting in the garden (or somewhere green with a breeze), playing Don't let the Bastards grind you down by The Toasters while sipping on some gin and sparkling water (did you try the mix yet btw?), and enjoying the fact that you never need to waste your time helping him again? :)

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Haha, jealousy over other peoples biscuits is just the thing jealousy was designed for if you ask me! I did try gin with sparkling water, it was different to say the least, but not unpleasant. It might need to be done more often as the shops have got a shortage due to the 'pingdemic' so, good shout!

@autumnstarlight6188

2 жыл бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism a shortage of what? sparkling water or your normal tonic? Only thing we haven't been able to get so far thankfully is Pepsi Max (and I don't drink it anyway - woop!) :)

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

A shortage on my tonic. I'll only have a particular one, and they're limited. I've always got sparkling water in, so it's a good back up plan!

@lisbethbird8268

7 ай бұрын

Tonic has too much sugar for me. I like the sparkle w with lots lime. Grapefruit also works.@@AdultwithAutism

@AdultwithAutism

7 ай бұрын

@lisbethbird8268 I can only deal with a slimline one from one shop. The rest taste too strange!

I can't get why you call yourself OLD. You're not old, Paul!!! Not even 40! Maybe it's your «OLD SOUL» and the WISDOM in your thoughts/speech that «betrays your old age»? Well, however you feel about that, I am always happy to watch and LISTEN to you. You are humble and that is a very important trait of your character. I see greatness in you. You're sort of a Gentle Giant of the Soul. And you are very gifted in intellectual power, too. Please, keep pouring out your views of Life, because you are shedding GOOD LIGHT with that!

As an Australian, I love the English. Most of us do. Wish more English would migrate to our country.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

More of us would love to emigrate too! There is absolutely nothing to get excited about staying here.

Hi Paul, I really enjoy listening to your insights and cannot agree with you more about hard work. It’s great that you focus on the positive aspects of life, rather than all the negativity that is out there. Keep your chin up and know that you are helping a lot of people, just by being yourself.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Rebecca, I appreciate that. I see myself more as a realist, and have a few videos to do on improving baseline mood. The reason I've not done that yet is because if the negative mindset of some that due to how deep rooted it can be, won't see the actual message. But I'll do it someday.

Love this video. I don't need alot either. In fact, excessive displays of excessive wealth make me sick. Not because of jealousy. Just because I think it's disgusting and wasteful when their are so many poor people and animals on this earth. So much social inequality. I couldn't ever feel right if I was a Millionaire or Billionaire, buying ridiculously expensive things just for fun. ❤. And I've helped people too, who don't help back or appreciate what they've been given.... emotionally and financially. It's not a good feeling. Great video! And yes, keyboard warriors are COWARDS!

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

Thank you. Keyboard warriors offer no value to anything. I feel sorry for them 👍🏻

I have just turned 60 and are about to be assessed as Autistic. I have recently started a new job which has sent me off the scale with energy depletion and after 6 weeks I became ill. The illness lasted 8 weeks and the employer punished me with a day off which I told them I am taking and slept 15 hours. I was then labelled unreliable. If I am confirmed autistic I am not sure how to put this to the employer or whether I should just leave the job?

@AdultwithAutism

6 ай бұрын

It's up to you, but it's always worth keeping options open regarding employment. Money is the same, but a good employer makes the world of difference. Autism is such a benefit to a workplace, it's everything else apart from the actual work that's the issue 👍🏻

Great seeing you and good topic! I'm jealous of you too Paul. It's because you have a sexy English accent and I don't! I just have a American Country accent and that's not very appealing to some people. 😔

@SweetiePieTweety

2 жыл бұрын

Same! Paul has a nice voice. I have that American country accent myself and ya 🤠

@kristalsiders3843

2 жыл бұрын

@@SweetiePieTweety Alright girl 😎, Yeehaw 😆 💕

@azcactusflower1

2 жыл бұрын

Ah but I've heard it said people in Europe can like our accents too 😊

@kristalsiders3843

2 жыл бұрын

@@azcactusflower1 Well that's good to know! 🙄

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Haha, the last thing I'd ever hear about my accent is the word 'sexy', but I'll take it. If you sound like the Pioneer Woman, then that's a spot on accent haha 👍🏻

The lottery thing 🥳 I don’t do it, but husband sometimes does and the motto is ”wife out of work!” 💪🏽 where to need money : being safe

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

Yup. Only reason I play it is for the freedom. Not bothered about fancy cars...I mean, you still have to obey all the same rules so why waste a ton of cash on one! I'll stick to a Ford Focus 👍🏻

I REALLY wanted to make something of myself but I'm 50 now & nowhere close. In 2012 I had adrenal fatigue, couldn't work, got evicted & couch surfed or had homes pulled out from under me for 10 yrs... like living out of a suitcase. Just facts, no pity party. Now I finally have a nice 2 bdrm apt that's $775/mo +electricity. The neighborhood is a bit rough.. I hear gunshots on a regular basis so, that's exciting. Haha. What was my point?? I forget. Just sharing.

@AdultwithAutism

9 ай бұрын

It all depends on what our version of making something of ourselves means... For me, it's to sit in comfy pj's with snacks, watching my nonsense, shutting the world out, and not needing to think about anything else. Which is pretty much what I am for every weekend. It's hardly exciting, but contentment is all I chase. That, and a good night sleep...but I haven't had that for around 25 years 😂

When I work I put my heart into it! And kill myself because I'm over loyal. But i end up getting used and given other people's work. Its rough. I love helping! I love working hard! But I burnt out and crashed. Im now a stay at home mom and its different, but wonderful. I miss working though. But I'm obsessive when I work and everything else is put on the back burner. So, until my daughter doesn't NEED me. I'm at home helping her. I'm so happy for anyone who can afford a place to live autistic or not. But I have my family thats what makes me happy. Im not at all jealous. I just don't know how to work and not spend all the days I'm off sleeping to just to work. I havent been on the system for years. It felt good. But others suffered from my absence. Anyways, that's all. I love that. I want people to be happy and healthy and leave me alone. ❤

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

I am the same. I enjoy helping others, I just needed to find the line where it went from help to being expected or taken for granted. Or worse, helping those who can help themselves 👍🏻

😊

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

👍🏼