The truth is nobody cares were autistic, we just have to suffer 😢

@thepolycerateblacksheep

Ай бұрын

they only care about themselves. because they can't ever grasp our perspective, while we're forced to adjust to theirs. we need safe spaces for us only. only we are able to understand each other, even if we can have different opinions. we share the autistic experience/perspective.

@forestsunset9617

Ай бұрын

that's why I've not pushed for official diagnosis or told anyone. no one cares, the world carries on, nothing will change.

@forestsunset9617

Ай бұрын

in fact I told one person I've known for years. told them by email to test a reaction, didn't get a reply. so that proves it.

So relatable. The "I don't have time to do the work" issue in particular - you want me to do the work? It's going to use a LOT of my energy - are you going to pay me to do that work? Because if I'm expected to earn my own living and pay all the extra ADHD and autism taxes, given I ALREADY use more energy just to be in the world, especially around people, then some weeks I have nothing over for laundry or showering after work or at the weekend, never mind doing hard mental, emotional, psychological work AND adding all the work of e.g. doing more cooking from scratch once I "fixed" the brain problems which make prepared food often the only option (or rather, the only alternative to living on white buttered toast and cheese, which is something my brain loves but my gut cannot process). And I have only been able to work 4 days a week for 15 years and now considering having to work less following burnout and dealing with a very ableist boss who is absolutely adamant that most of my issues are due to not spending enough time with other people (people I did not choose, too...). Gah! SO MANY TAXES.

Finally found someone who I can listen to without rolling my eyes or fast forwarding a video to get to the point! Well paced, realistic, no KZreadisms or loud background music. Subscribed 👍🏻

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Ah, many thanks 👍🏻

@wilkothewilkoman

12 күн бұрын

Feel the same. Autism but...not covered in rainbows and capes.

Great video Paul, great to see you back in action! On top of the therapy tax is the tax of listening to "experts" tell you things you already know. Or they conformist version of autism and disability you have to go along with. I'm always thinking I can do this job, better than you, you should be paying me to listen to this and expending your energy to seek me out 😂 My own autism tax is not being able to remember important stuff like bill payments and hospital appointments because I'm so tired at the end of each day to process anymore information.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Definitely the reason people should seek out therapists who are Autistic. But I know they are as rare as rocking horse poop.

And this is why the new proposals for PIP are so wrong. They just don't get that there are all sorts of hidden extras that disabled people do or pay for to cope with life other than personal hygiene, eating and moving around.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

They don't, and it's deeply frustrating. I'm going to try the process and fully cover it, to highlight all its flaws if for nothing else.

Car insurance costs more too especially if you have to drive an automatic car. Automatic cars are more expensive than manual and less available. They're not available for renting. Automatic car insurance is 43.89% more than manual. Putting "conditions declared to dvla but no restrictions" raises the insurance significantly because insurers think we might need accessible equipment, which is very expensive (taxing physically disabled people for their disability too). I imagine it raises even more when you have restrictions on your driving licence and put "declared to dvla with restrictions." Safety package makes the car more expensive too. Living alone is a lot more expensive, but I'm like you. I can't live with other people. We need to hire cleaners to maintain our homes, too. Then, half of autistic people have ADHD and we also suffer with ADHD tax. And if we're women with women's tax on top...

@RhiannonRaven

Ай бұрын

Yes even an automatic car is on average a £1,000 more than the equivalent manual one.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I didn't know an automatic was more in insurance by almost half! That's insane.

@mcxravin

Ай бұрын

Yes and they also use more fuel

I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤

@AdultwithAutism

25 күн бұрын

Ah many thanks 👍🏻

I resonate so much with most things you have said. My daughter is an autistic teenager. I am undiagnosed but looking into it. I completely agree that autism does cost more in so many ways for so many people. Then we have the government trying to take away assistance or prevent people getting it in the first place 🤯 Anyway take care and keep smiling 😊

Love your videos. I like to share them with friends and colleagues as you articulate the issues far better than I can. You have my deepest appreciation for making these videos.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Thank you, I appreciate that 👍🏻

Hi Paul, thank you for explaining about the costs of the autism life experience... I have pretty much always felt like this, but it's so validating and helpful to have clarification. Clothes, food, sounds, smells, people, public, lights, health issues, etc etc etc. It takes a lot of energy to cope with life to be honest. I can't participate in a lot of activities, situations, or go to certain places due to sensory issues, triggers, and even if it's just too hot or loud because it will cause me to have a severe anxiety attack. Whew 😵. So I have been trying very hard to just keep myself as comfortable as possible while dealing with my ASD. It's not easy. I just had my 68th birthday last week and I think 😮 it's amazing I made it, but I have, so it's possible. All the best to you from East Texas, and nice to see you here again Paul. Take good care.. 😊

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Ah, happy belated birthday 👍🏻

29:26 Omgosh, everything you talked about 💯

Glad to hear the blanket is working for you. Brilliant. Once again, another fab video where you eloquently say the things I can't put into words. You are very much appreciated. Keep smiling! Love from Shropshire!

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Thank you, and not too far from me these days 👍🏻

Absolutely Bang-On Paul! I'd like to add a Big One to the List: getting Fired or Laid-off or 'Constructively Dismissed' from Jobs. I can count 15 Jobs in my 'Career' where I was 'Actively Discriminated Against' when the Company/Boss I worked for decided to 'downsize'....

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

True. Or where you just don't 'fut the mold', and they drive you out

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. High taxation and living expenses are making people stressed and resentful. Then, the cost of doing business or building anything ensures that it needs to be oversubscribed to the point of absurdity to make ends meet. This makes places and activities that could be enjoyable so unpleasant that people avoid them.

Just found your channel! You're great to listen to and thank you for sharing!

@AdultwithAutism

25 күн бұрын

Many thanks 👍🏻

Hi from the other side of the pond, Paul. As far as your videos go, I do fancy giving them a watch. We didn't really use the word fancy in that manner in the stars and I enjoy when you say it 😂

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I would say 'if my videos tickle your pickle'...but innuendos and all that 👍🏻

Thanks for the video! I'd venture to guess that insurance companies know that Autistics do or will have more health problems. Heart problems are one of the leading causes of death for Autistics, I'd say that's probably from a lifetime of stress and the nervous system being in fight or flight constantly. Most of us can't afford a life style that would mitigate some of that stress, so we check out a lot earlier than the general population.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Yep, don't disagree with that. The stress my body has been under, I'm surprised I've made it this far.

@Segra13

Ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism same here. :-/

thank you for talking about it. I relate to a lot!

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

No worries 👍🏻

Good chat fella. I struggle too with people who just don’t try to be good, helpful, kind and respectful people. Thats why it’s up to us to address the issues. Point out to people who are wasting oxygen. Gets us into trouble a lot but until the errors are fixed and education is shared, life will continue to be a tad irritating. This is Raymie from Rigloo Paul. Control the environment, control the outcome! Is it any wonder my Autism manifested into a survival product? 😂😂 Stay safe fella. Thanks for sharing. 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Hi Raymie. Fully agree that with a controlled environment, your outcomes become a lot more favourable 👍🏻

I certainly feel these things. But on the other side of the coin, every accommodation is stress imposed on the party providing the accommodation. Currently, we're getting the short-end, so some changes need to be made... anything low cost, low effort... give it to us. Things like allowing us to choose things that improve our situation and are of no consequence to others. Things that take some cost and effort, but they make a huge difference for us... let's work towards having those, too. Then, let's debate the remaining things. I bought a new water heater (boiler for those in the UK) and it has sat there next to the old one for 5 months now. Why? Because I spend so much time thinking about all of the details. I bought it because it should save me money... but it is sitting there costing me money not being installed. I do that with so many things. The tax is real.

Your videos are amazing! Bit behind though due to KZread not notifying me :(

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Thank you. I think you have to unsubscribe, then subscribe again. A lot of people aren't getting the notifications for some reason 🤔

I asked my doctor if the prosthetics department had any support for sensory overload. I use sunglasses but I don't have anything for my ears. He said no, which is fine, but then he offered me a meditation class. That's like walking around in the rain & then drying off when you get home. There are no options apart from noise cancelling headphones that don't look completely insane. I might get a welder's cap like the ones they use in Japan.

@Cassandra_1844

Ай бұрын

Loop earplugs work pretty well for sound, and are invisible from the front. I've been dependent on them for years now

@skachor

Ай бұрын

What about concert earplugs? Very small and discrete and are only meant to reduce sound not eliminate it.

The way you were sitting in your chair, when you said you didn't care if I was bothered by how you sit in your chair, bothers me. 😅 Thanks for the content, by the way. I used to follow you on my old account, made a new one. Good to see you keeping on. Yarrite

@AdultwithAutism

12 күн бұрын

Haha, the joys of poor posture

Appreciate your Content Paul 👍🏼😀👍🏼 Relatable🇺🇸

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Many thanks 👍🏻

I have this obsession with red and green whitch also translates into my food choices but there will vegetable that jus t not nice to eat the texture the worst part

I can certainly relate, especially about work. But I also work in a field that provides aid to people with handicaps and what I see there just underscores that the Tax is on all who are not an average drone. If you think autism apps are expensive, try software for the vision impaired or people with limited use of their body. Any type of handicap really is taxed to the roof.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I'm sure it's across the board for most disabilities with the price tags. People claim to want to help, but want to exploit it along the way. Manipulative people are yet another tax it seems.

In addition to some of the things you've said, my understanding of autism tax are things like subscriptions you need to cancel, but can't because being autistic stops you from communicating with whoever. So you pay that sub, and that is a tax. Ditto, returning something to a shop - can't bring yourself to do it - keep the thing, lose the money, that's a tax. I'd probably also add in there, the hard time you then give yourself for not being able to do these things that end up costing you money, becomes a tax on your mental health. Deep joy!!!

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Absolutely. I know that feeling all too well with cancelling or changing contracts at the end of their plan. They make it awkward on purpose needing you to talk to a human instead of an electronic process, meaning a lot of us...me included, just stick with it, getting ripped off in the process 👍🏻

Hi, I used to go once a week to a group meeting with about eight people where you would talk about your struggles for max. two hours altogether. I got attacked because I can't sit totally quiet without moving my hands and feet and so on. So I had to leave the group. I was the best listener of all of them, there is nothing wrong with my listening skills. This happens to me so often. Thank you for telling about your experiences

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

It's a shame you had to leave over something that didn't impact the reason for the group.

Your videos inspired me to get a private assessment and I've just been diagnosed with autism aged 52

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Best of luck 👍🏻

Simply getting an assessment is a huge cost for autistic people. Time, huge emotional effort, mental effort to deal with the waiting times and inaccessible processes. And if you want to avoid some of this, it costs a lot of money. People rarely talk to me on the train.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

True, the beginning of that process for me was very taxing. Not being listened to by the GP

YES! "Outside is where people are". The chair?! But I get when someone life is so disruptive and out of control we try to control outward. Sorry to hear about your eye/face

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Thanks 👍🏻

My big autism tax is the time & energy spent on accounting for my every thought and action to the 'Normie Inquisition'. Spoiler alert: they still don't understand after I've delivered a highly articulate and comprehensive explanation for doing some fleeting and trivial thing in a way that differs from them and a large bunch of the population.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Oh how much do I know how that feels!

The council put up a street light right outside my bedroom and it is one of those L.E.D lights it drives me f@*#ing crazy!

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

You should make them aware that you're being affected by light pollution and that they need to address it as it's causing you stress. I've just dealt with a light pollution issue in work oddly enough!

✈OMG the seats on aeroplanes! It's marginally better to have the aisle seat because then you don't have to ask anyone when you want to go to the toilet, but then you can't really sleep because someone else might need you to move so they can get to the toilet.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I don't mind moving for people, but HATE asking people to move. I'd rather hold it and feel sick for the rest of the flight 😂

I agree Bose headphones are overpriced but there are the most comfortable ones I've tried on. That was several years ago though. I'm pretty sure you could find comparable ones these days. Also, if I'm in a mall or cafe I still need to wear my loop earplugs with the headphones to adequately drown out the world.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I've just got some headphones from Anker with noise cancelling on them, just need to try them now 👍🏻

I don't like to think of these things as things that society "owes" me, but it's nonetheless useful to frame them as "taxes" anyway. I have only recently realized I'm autistic, and even more recently realized I'm ADHD too. Whenever I go anywhere, I *have* to go in "loops" -- and the "loops" have to be varied -- and sometimes I just explore. That means I'm spending more on gas, and while I don't think of it as a loss, per se, I have less time to do things, and my wife gets frustrated with me. I have a daughter who has recently been diagnosed formally as autistic, and she's driven nuts when I don't go straight home! Right now, I'm considering what I can do to restructure my work life. Ironically enough, I thrived in school environments -- probably because it was a nice combination of structure and novelty for me! -- but I've struggled with finding work (sometimes taking months at a time, even in a good economy), and when I have it, I often get burned out. While struggling to figure this out, however, I'm worried about how to pay bills, when no income is going in. I have wondered if I need to go on disability -- but the diagnostics process is a tax in itself, and I am well aware that I may mask well enough, I wouldn't even be diagnosed as autistic as well -- *particularly* if I try to go through government channels! But despite the masking, the struggles I face are real, and somehow need to be addressed.

@AdultwithAutism

25 күн бұрын

The PIP process in England is such a stressful process as it's deeply flawed and doesn't consider Autism well at all. It's very much a 'can you absolutely not do this' or 'you can do this'. Middle ground, rough days and average days are absolutely not considered. It's horrible.

i have same food habits , no salads, fruits, meats , all veg apart from potatoes not boiled or new potatoes , and peas are ok ha:)

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Haha, peas on a rare occasion for me.

@ThackeryBinx-nb7jh

Ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism what supplements do you take for the extra nutrition? do you use anything else to substitute the things you dont eat :)

Two that pop right into my head for me are skincare and haircuts Skincare; I absolutely cannot stand most brands in the UK, moisturisers and suncream especially, it's so so greasy feeling that I wanna just vom when I put it on, it feels like I've taken a bath in chip fat and then put clothes on over it. Non greasy products exist!.. for a hugely inflated price or added costs from it being imported from a country where product designers have brains. Haircuts; unsure if this counts as such and its a very personal one to me (and one other friend I think but he's made it work thankfully). I have both sides of my head shaved, all the time, have done since school aside from maybe 2 occasions where I tried to grow it all out to look "normal". You might think it's because it looks cool (it does so that's a perk) but it's a Sensory thing that I didn't realise was a Sensory thing until getting the late diagnosis and thinking of it in that context. I can't stand having hair around my ears, touching my face etc anymore, even in my pfp on here I can see the discomfort in my face about hair touching my face 😂 The thing is, employers do not like this at alllll, they see it as an unprofessional hairstyle and my job opportunities are hugely affected by it, I genuinely have to consider this when trying to plan what career sector I'm gonna try next (as I haven't found one that sticks). I'm sure there's more but right now those are what really sprung to mind for me

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

A bath in chip fat 😂. Sun cream is just sticky juice, makes you feel disgusting. I shave above my top lip for the same reason you shave the sides of your head...feeling it touch my lip almost gives me palpitations with how much I can't deal with it. But, can't deal without a beard more, so it stays...the hair close to it though, has to go 👍🏻

@Newtage

Ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism I say to my partner and friends with beards all the time I don't know how I'd cope if I was a man and had to deal with facial hair too 🤣 save up to get my face lasered or something Twice now I've shaved my head entirely and my god that is freeing but again it means people treat me so differently, random strangers shouting the same 3 bald woman jokes so I grow it out trying to avoid that and then hate it again, I'm close to doing again with new parent stress really pushing my limit but then I'd be the bald mum and other parents already judge me enough for my appearance and not doing the usual inane parent small talk 🙃

After so many recommendations I finally got myself noise-canceling headphones! Luckily middle-range priced, as it turned out I can't stand using over-ear headphones. Gotta love being autistic mate 😆

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I've just got a pair of fully over the ear headphones...I didn't realise until they arrived. They feel massive. I'll give them a shot this week, but they might end up living in a draw for the rest of their days.

@sophya5796

Ай бұрын

​@@AdultwithAutism Hope you don't end up hating them but yeah, really no such thing as a "universal accommodation" for us 😅

How did the Blue Badge thing work out by the way? I got the application form, and apparently I am supposed to be eligible. But I need a counter-signatory from a healthcare worker. And I need to present a real danger to myself or others because of my condition. 🤔 I just find parking in regular spaces extremely stressful due to my condition. But apparently that doesn't qualify. 🤷‍♂️

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I needed to get something signed by a Doctor, and the Doctor said it's not something they do and the council were wrong. I went back to the council and they ignored me. I need to try again, especially after the week I've had and how much I needed this consideration 👍🏻

@indigo_enigma

Ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism Yeah my council said "healthcare professional except a GP". Because doctors aren't healthcare professionals of course.

Anker Q20i noise cancelling headphones £35 on Amazon. I can be in same room as washing machine and not hear it. Definitely recommend as cheaper alternative.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

For my last birthday, I got some Soundcore: Space One...I think they're called. Absolutely enormous, but still need to test out the noise cancelling option on them 👍🏻

There are some weird connections between autism and digestive issues. This may explain why so many autistic people have stumbled on similar diets. Many supposedly healthy foods produce bad reactions and some highly processed foods actually seem to help.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Definitely the case with me.

It’s reached the time of year when Autism makes you feel even smaller than usual

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Very true

Is it possible to get groceries and other things delivered? To cut down on time around people. Glad a weighted blanket helps. Meal delivery services may help with not having to prepare food, I hate cooking and don’t have the patience and energy. I’m guessing for life insurance, autism is considered a pre existing condition. Neurodivergent tax is frustrating

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Unfortunately meal prep / ready meals always taste like microwave meals, and surprisingly...I don't like them either! I've got my days and times for grocery shopping, as I like to choose my own meats to make sure I don't get fatty ones. The joys 👍🏻

Insurance is like betting. You bet them something will go wrong, they bet a certain amount on the odds it won't, and if they're wrong, you get the pot. Charging more for the insurance is probably them getting their own insurance.

Dont bother with the headphones, just get ear defenders. They're not as "stylish" as headphones but they're effective. Ive also had success with loop earplugs, they saved my marriage because I struggled to sleep in my marriage bed before. I also use a pair of tongs to handle meat because I'll make my hands cracked and dry washing over and over.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I've heard the loop earplugs are good, I might have to try a pair in the future. Glad they worked for you 👍🏻

Another autism tax comes from the intersection of special interests and poor impulse control. This can ultimately make you more employable but it can easily go the other way.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

It's just getting past the personality tests! Sorry, I mean interviews 😂

Now that I’m unmasking, I’m letting myself sit in all sorts of funky autistic ways. It’s great. I haven’t done that since I was young and was scolded for it.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Living true to your design is always much more relaxing 👍🏻

In terms of your sitting in the chair - it would bother me if I looked at you throughout your talk (because my brain is looking at and measuring and organising all the visual information) so... I just don't look!

@AdultwithAutism

25 күн бұрын

Fair enough!

I've never had anyone sit next to me on a bus talk about pigeons and pencils sharpers, I did have one lady began breast feeding her baby though.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

I'd need a week off work to recover if that happened to me.

Do you have ASD level 1 without Aspergers?

@AdultwithAutism

20 күн бұрын

I personally don't agree with the levels as they're too rigid and people can very easily fluctuate between them based on their design, interactions and activities. Aspergers was on my original diagnosis.

@sashawhispers3480

18 күн бұрын

I agree. I myself have ASD level 1 Autism and ADD.

Hope u doing ok :-)

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Not too shabby thanks 👍🏻

Life insurance cost more because apparently suicide risk is higher for autistics. That’s what I’ve read as the reason anyway

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

It's also more for left-handed people...so left handed Autistic people will be priced out!

@demonfox199714

Ай бұрын

The funniest (not really) part about that is that a lot if not all insurances don't pay out for suicides... But somehow it does cost the end-user more to get the insurance when they struggle with suicidality or conditions that increase your risk of developing that struggle. I hope in the future there will be a law about discrimination in insurance policies, where at least presumptions can't be made. I can understand things like assessments needing to be done to check for certain risks, but just saying "eh, this thing we claim has no negative effect on your life whenever it's about benefits has a reeeally negative effect when it comes to us not losing money" is a garbage sentiment.

You are actually talking about the impact of Capitalism on Autistic people. Read Robert Chapman’s ‘Empire of Normality’ Book.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Unfortunately, I cannot absorb information from books. I end up reading the same line over and over and retain nothing. It's one of things I wish I could do.

Mate, your sensory aversion to cooking odors sounds AWFUL. I've been cooking since I was a little kid and smelling that maillard reaction as the meat sears is one of my favorite things in the entire world.

@AdultwithAutism

6 күн бұрын

It is a nightmare. Glad you're the opposite!