He exerts conversational control over me with sheer volume. He is so much louder than me that my voice ends up going out from trying to be heard. He rewrites history in real time. His feelings become facts. Every attempt at logic and reason is unheard and he goes back to the same list of the “bad” things I’ve done. I bought a loud speaker and I wish I had thought of getting this before. I am able to drown out his list with my list of things he has done but never acknowledged. The loud speaker isn’t magical it doesn’t make him finally accept responsibility for the things he has done but my voice is no longer strained and he gives up.

Thank you for sharing, this is very thought provoking. I never even realized the domination stems into nearly all conversations and their outcomes in their favor, in edition to every area of the relationship.

This abusive conversational style was never recognised by my therapist at all! In fact she just regarded me as unassertive. In effect I was gaslit by the therapist as well as by the abuser.

I wish you'd explain or give examples of how having a trauma response continues the power struggle.

This lecture resonates a lot with people described in the DSM and even more ! There should be more talk and education on what constitutes ADDICTION and should be giving real examples on it . America is full of : PORN , SEX , FOOD, street drugs addiction , prescription meds addiction video games, polygamy alcohol …….. most males are suffering from the “ white male entitlement” syndrome . Lots of scholars wrote books on NARCISSISM and entitlement in America starting 1970 ……imagine 2021 ……

Thank you for breaking this down, this is so helpful. It took me several years to understand to some extent what was happening. Because I got so confused and overwhelmed with chaos. Do you have the chart as a PDF that you can share?

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