I get the worst anxiety when theres plans in place and it is day of, I pushed myself to go out and I'm all calm until things get serious I get so shaky and feel like I'm gonna be sick.

@unknownabbab

4 ай бұрын

same i'm struggling

@lyllialawson8927

Ай бұрын

This is like me too then I try meeting them and I do anything to avoid it

@Drclaudiapsyd

Ай бұрын

Same 😂❤

@nurturingmindscounseling

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing, it sounds like your anxiety spikes day of which makes sense because your mind is probably saving your getting to the metaphorical edge. And I know how hard it can to push yourself AND that's a huge thing! You're going on these dates despite feeling shaky.

@nurturingmindscounseling

Ай бұрын

For everyone that commented, super common to have your anxiety spike the day off and trying to find ways to avoid. Is there anything you've all noticed helps you to actually get to the date? Having a friend who can help you day of? Practicing any grounding strategies day of? Reminding yourself why it's worth it? Thinking of past dates that you've gone through and it worked out? To be clear, I don't want to minimize how hard it can be because it is!

I'm pretty much calm chatting, setting up the dates, I'm really confident and cool on the actual dates, really enjoying getting to know new people. I just love dates and the excitement, the flirting, etc. But after the date, even tough it went well and I can feel the other person being into me, I'm waiting anxiously for the other person to call, to text, checking my phone regularly, overthinking, overanalyzing the situation. I'm crafting plans constantly when and how to reach out to the other person if they don't reach out to me until a certain time and I need constant affirmation that they are into me. So in order not to lure the other person away, I have to be disciplined and "fake" it that I would like to take things slow. But in my head, it's really bad and consumes a lot of energy. I need to remind myself, that this other person who I had only a few of dates with, is not a matter of life and death. But it's difficult for sure...:/

@mattw-cx50

6 ай бұрын

It sounds like you may just have an anxious attachment style. Which can be easier to remedy than having a full blown anxiety disorder. There's lots of helpful books and KZread videos out there that can help you.

@Imiface

6 ай бұрын

@@mattw-cx50 Yes, I do know that I have anxious attachment style, which makes things easier - at least I know what I am struggling with. I read a lot and watch videos about it, so slowly I am getting better and better at this. :) thanks for your comment. :)

@jan-lucat5547

5 ай бұрын

I feel you!

@ISCREAMCRONE

3 ай бұрын

This is me too

As someone who gets very nervous for all sorts of reasons at even the thought of doing something like dating, I feel like this was a timely video to be recommended to me. It feels very validating to know that, even with my baby steps to "dipping my toes" into the dating world, I'm on the right track since starting therapy in my 20s.😌

I think this can be a really great guide to start writing down your thoughts and identifying them. So many worries and anxious thoughts plus adhd feels disorganized in my brain all the time.

Thanks so much for this. Due to my anxiety I have never had a relationship because I kept avoiding it. So my anxiety gets uncontrollable at the initial stage of first date because I have no idea what will come after that 😭💀

@lindinle

11 ай бұрын

Same.

@lindinle

11 ай бұрын

Maybe we could be anxious together if things were aligned differently.

@nurturingmindscounseling

11 ай бұрын

I’m so glad you liked the video. I appreciate you sharing your honest experience.

@laurikovacikova4287

10 ай бұрын

oh, we are on the same page...

@gcdz318

17 күн бұрын

It's similar to what's happening to me. I don't know if it's fear because I've never dated a girl in my life. I wish to break this fear barrier and find my life partner.

Im usually incredibly anxious beforehand (cold sweats. Shakes and feeling nauseous) calm and collected during the date and then I hate myself after because of things I said or things I did

Being in the very early stage is freaking me out goshh! And when I'm at home I'm thinking thinking and again thinking, can't stop my mind about it. Bc not thinking about it my subconscious thinks its unsafe (while it's actually much more efficient and better for me). So yeah when im not with the person I'm dating, getting insecure that's what gives me anxiety. And the other parts she mentioned a bit too I guess

Im dating a guy and after each date my anxiety get progressively worse! And then I think I over compensate so I’m like being this clownish version of myself and a bumbling idiot on text to try and make him like me and instead I’m just making myself look like a fool. I feel like I’m embarrassing myself, trying to be funny and keep him entertained and that I’m just giving him the ick because I’m just being too much and doing too much, and it’s not even me anymore. And then I like him but I’m so scared he’s gonna be sick of me. I keep wanting to end it because I don’t think he’ll like me. Or I think he’ll get sick or bored of me and dead me out. That is my WORST fear. Him just slowly reading me out

I just struggle the most trying to hold a conversation or trying to say the right thing but also i feel im never good enough cuz the only relationship ive ever been in i was under unimaginable pressure constantly thinking if this is the day she’ll leave me cuz all her friends were way better looking than me and she never wanted to do things together and it seemed more often than not she wanted to hang out with them instead of me

@WithDreday

10 ай бұрын

It's less about looks and more about comfort. I noticed girls will take a guy that doesn't isn't a 10 but can take the lead socially. My advice is to 100% focus on that since the dating game is 99% socializing

Honestly I have a crush and I have major anxiety so when i wanna talk to them, I get so afraid, especially when others are around and nearby. I wanna get their number so I can text them as it’s easier to text rather than fully talk. The only problem is my anxiety, I think of the worst things possible. 😢😢😢

@nurturingmindscounseling

17 күн бұрын

I totally get how frustrating this situation is, wanting to approach a crush and feeling frozen. It’s so common for our anxious minds to play out the worst-case scenario thoughts and try to predict what will happen. Just a gentle reminder that our minds can’t actually predict the future, so we don't know what could happen. And I often find that even when our minds give us worst-case scenarios, we forget how often we’ve successfully navigated tricky situations.

Idk I get anxiety about what other people close to me will think about him. Like I feel he has to be perfect in all aspects because I feel that's what other people's expectations are of me. I do know that most probably they are all made up in my head, because I haven't heard them even express this opinion. Idk I feel judged but I feel like I am also creating in my mind more problems than there actually are.

@lindinle

11 ай бұрын

Aww. I feel for you. That thought process sucks. My perspective is i was always missed something that made me human thought it made me undesirable. The thought of getting a positive reaction is like me trying to tell you that 1+1 = 54 and thinking you will think im correct.

This is the perfect video!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really helped

@nurturingmindscounseling

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! So glad it was helpful!

Waiting by the phone is the worst!

My wife of 15 yeas left me a few months ago (I took her for granted and stopped making an effort, so my fault really). I've just met someone on a dating app (we have both agreed that we have a connection). However, I'm suffering, badly, with anxiety. I'm terrified that she'll move on or find someone else. I hate dating; I find it emotionally draining.

Having a date planned makes my anxiety spike, and I always cancel before it can happen. Which is wierd cuz I went on dates no problem in teens and early 20's

@nurturingmindscounseling

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing. So sorry to hear that having it planned tends to spike your anxiety. Is spur of the moment dates better for you? Or one where you schedule it day of?

@DesireKlingensmith

Ай бұрын

@@nurturingmindscounseling No 😅 spur of the moment or same day is just as bad.

@nurturingmindscounseling

29 күн бұрын

@@DesireKlingensmith Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Have you been to get yourself to go on the dates at times?

Im just starting this whole date thing with this bumble app. Part of me is telling me to just delete it. I want to think someday ill get someones interest. Im just deeply terrified.

@nurturingmindscounseling

11 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing! Being scared of something new is completely normal!

she keeps mentioning dating apps, why? Most people dont like the apps. Clearly she doesnt have much experience. Her advice is pretty much basic.