HEY KATI GUESS WHAT I'M FINALLY GETTING A PFA AND TAKING MY ABUSER TO COURT I FEEL SO NERVOUS BUT SO PROUD

@sandrayazin3292

5 жыл бұрын

Congrats! How did it go?

@rachelmillard6433

5 жыл бұрын

The dude that groomed me.. got arrested...

@HairbyNardia

5 жыл бұрын

Be strong 💪🏽 you got this

@huskylover8167

5 жыл бұрын

Kate Cross How’d it go?

@Magnetmagma

5 жыл бұрын

Don't be nervous, you will succeed, ask for compensation for mental peace deterioration and physical harm as well. Make sure you have enough proof.

Stages of grooming: 1. Identifying a victim 2. Gaining trust & access 3. Gaining importance by filling a need 4. Isolating the victim 5. Creating secrecy around the relationship 6. Sexualizing the relationship 7. Controlling the relationship

@M0101EP

Жыл бұрын

As a person without a healthy family and childhood I am very easy to pick for someone who wants to groom because they think I am sad and alone

@carrad123456

Жыл бұрын

Health connected communicative family is backbone of society and children• since you are aware of your weak points please be careful• Why to have any relationship first ? Second Why to online chat or date?? Why?? Develop some good hobbies and devote time there•

@alesanafyi

11 ай бұрын

what if i, the teenager, did some of these things myself? did he still grrom me? (he was 10 yrs older and lied about his age, iwas honest abt mine)

@jackilynpyzocha662

10 ай бұрын

Yes, it accelerated when I was 12 1/2, went on for decades; then he had the nerve to tell me I had a problem(him) with my memories. Not!Dad.

@jackilynpyzocha662

10 ай бұрын

Dad's the perpetrator and narcissist!

I was groomed online as a very young teenager, he targeted me through a mental health forum - just be aware that even in places that feel safe you’re actually still very vulnerable!

@oLiver-dc4fi

5 жыл бұрын

Katherine Paul Oh my god, same here. He was a therapist on 7cupsoftea.

@oLiver-dc4fi

5 жыл бұрын

It sounds planned; he knew that you were vulnerable.

@B33st1ng

4 жыл бұрын

Deviant art is full of predators, they go after young girls who post selfies

@youtsubathethird

4 жыл бұрын

I hawe noticed that to. I jojned a group on discord where people chared stuff that they felt bad about. After a while a person from that group contacted me and we started chating. For me he seemed friendly. Later on my dad found out about it and after he had read the text messages he told me that that person where not in the same age as me and that i shouldnt be texting him. Im still you yes, but i find it hars sometimes to see the diference between people who just wanna chat or people who want something. For me no one hawe asked me or said something sexuall, but sometimes i get varning signs.

@noriegak10secoflabormoneyl81

4 жыл бұрын

I saw a councelor when I was young and to say the least it was bizarre she was choreographing that I was jewish and proceeded to turn the pressure on me which is not what you do but what's weird is she had this guy next door who was there I wonder because where she lived there was a guy nailed by the FBI for being a child molester.Where they trying something with me and other kids?

Wow! Thank you! I knew I wasn't overreacting. I recently banned someone in my family from going any where near my son because I felt she was too obsessed with his diaper and always wanting him with her away from me. And one day I caught her "accidentally" walking around almost naked with my son in the kitchen...And what disturbed me was she thought I wasn't around. And they try to make me feel like I was being a prude and the excuse was "he's just a kid, he's not paying attention" No I wasn't buying it. As a mom something in me went off like an alarm and I refuse to be one of those parents to find out years later I should've listened to my gut feeling and didnt.

@user-zv9no2my6j

5 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad there are moms like you out there. It's absolutely true, women can be creepy and severe predators too! Don't let them make you doubt your instinct. Better to safe and careful than putting children at risk for lifelong trauma, you're absolutely right. If more parents were like you, the world would be a safer place for many.

@BrainhasPain

4 жыл бұрын

Ha ha still your son was in diapers? He wouldn't be able to distinguish sexiness.

@curiouskitteh8215

4 жыл бұрын

FrostGiant that has nothing to do with it dumbass

@Lilxbabiixmariamx33

4 жыл бұрын

Tamara Magdalene you are an amazing mom! Thank you for protecting your child. We must stop these predators. Always listen to your instinct

@Dogetheun

4 жыл бұрын

Tamara Magdalene Alabama?

you're such an important youtuber!

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

Awe thank you :) I am so glad i could be a resource. xoxo

@itaroken

6 жыл бұрын

Kati Morton :)

@amandalouw2295

4 жыл бұрын

She's so cool

I've volunteered with victims and I've noticed that it seems like some predators deliberately choose victims who already have a reputation for being "difficult" or "problem children". Then, if/when the child speaks up, the adults are likely to see it as the child "causing trouble" or "acting out" once again. Is this just something I've noticed (as a volunteer non-expert), or an actual trend?

@collegebro85

6 жыл бұрын

Eva Lore oh that is absolutely part of the “plan,” because who is going to believe such a child or person anyway, right?

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing!! Yes, this is true. From what I read, how they pick their victims can be based on things like that as well.. so that they can get away with it.. ugh :( The more we shed light on these predators the less likely it is to happen, so again, thanks for speaking up. xox

@ephemera...

6 жыл бұрын

I've also heard that people who are deaf can be targeted because they have obstacles with communication. People with Intellectual Disabilities, Physical Disabilities and/or Mental Illness can be targeted too because they are more vulnerable and/or less likely to be believed. Also they sometimes need carers which can lead to abuse by carers. Yep, it sucks.

@erinkorynta3569

5 жыл бұрын

I have gone through this and yes I was considered a problem child.

@TheMissCherries

5 жыл бұрын

Eva Lore yes this is very true, when i came here in the US the family of my aunt took me in exchange i had to work at their care home. I did not know that this carefree and charming uncle of mine has another side of him, aside from me he also molested and sexually assaulted my other cousin. When i told him i was gonna go to the police he told me that “no one will believe me” because i was a bit of a problem child at that time. Finally i broke my silence and kept telling people specially in the family about what was happening, sad to say since both him and my so called aunt are manipulative they have been continuously discrediting me in order for other people to believe them and not me. I cut them off and when i did that they threatened me with deportation and other things. I got counseling from two different counselors and also talked to other legal advisors to help protect myself from them...

me watching this to avoid being groomed: 👁👄👁

@Mygoochitch

3 жыл бұрын

TRUE 👁👄👁

@Dopamine621

3 жыл бұрын

👁👄👁

@Nintendogames321

3 жыл бұрын

I rlly hate that face

@imitationxox

3 жыл бұрын

Same 👁👄👁

@masswellwiley6688

3 жыл бұрын

Be careful!! Love yourselves! ❤️

Wish my parents paid attention to these signs when I was a child. It’s scary how the ones we trust the most do the most damage.

@fredahwiwu5219

8 ай бұрын

This right here

@redfernj2557

6 ай бұрын

For sure!!! I know our parents are not infallible but.....damn.

I've been groomed when I was 14, and I was scared of telling my parents because, I might be put to blame.

@bhafferty5184

4 жыл бұрын

Same, I was 10 and I'm scared to tell them

@ewanfanatic88

4 жыл бұрын

My parents found out and blamed me for it.

@murasakihamster1866

4 жыл бұрын

@@ewanfanatic88 wtf no they shouldn t do that i am sorry that happend to you but you are not at fault and never will be the abuser is the one to blame and should be in jail

@elidiaguzman8765

4 жыл бұрын

I finally told my parents at 33. 21 years I held on to this secret because I was afraid.

@katecox6287

4 жыл бұрын

@@ewanfanatic88 I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's been 3 years since I got out of my relationship with my abuser and still haven't told my parents.

Anyone else realized that that “one relationship” you never felt comfortable about was actually sexual abuse or grooming? I did..

@miriam7872

6 жыл бұрын

Oh no, that sounds terrible. Please, talk to someone about this, if you can. It's not your fault it happened and it's not your fault you didn't recognise it! They manipulated you. I've had relationships with emotional manipulation and a lot of painful feelings. But never sexual.. I think at least. I'm sure there will be people with similar experiences here.. some of them may not want to talk about it though. Stay strong

@penny4279

6 жыл бұрын

Miriam Wei thank you so much for your concern, It was emotionally and mentally abusive.. but I thought that’s it! But as Kati was saying, a lot of gestures that we say “oh it’s just normal” actually aren’t.. Thanks again, sorry you had to go through such relationships, stay strong ❤️

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

I hope nothing sexual ever happened to you!!! I hope this video helps others in those situations now know that it's not okay and to speak up!! xxoo

@penny4279

6 жыл бұрын

Kati Morton thank you for your reply, I hope a lot of people see this video because it’s really eye opening.. Thank God nothing sexual happened, but a lot of the other stuff you mentioned, which if you have a combination of a narcissistic person and someone who doesn’t know what’s okay and what’s not.. it gets pretty ugly. No kind of touch is okay if it’s not consensual.. I see that now, thank you!! ❤️

@malikathueler2529

6 жыл бұрын

Stay strong, one day you will find healthy, meaningful relationships❤

Sounds like how a narcissist or psychopath GROOM their victims or targets ( lovebombing ) same type of senerio

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

They can totally do that as well! :(

@ivhy_music

Жыл бұрын

Can someone elaborate more on how lovebombing has to do with grooming?

it's a scary world we live in. . .there's really no telling who we can trust anymore 😢

@hereb4theend

4 жыл бұрын

You can trust music. Music is awesome.

@henzsol6771

4 жыл бұрын

@@hereb4theend hmm, reminds me of my childhood. I used to lose myself in music and zone out.

@henzsol6771

4 жыл бұрын

Easy, don't trust anyone with a penis, or anyone who alibis for, makes excuses for, or holds in high esteem or reveres those with penises. Babies can be trusted, and so can feminists like Catherine McKinnon and Sheila Jefferys.

@youarelife3437

4 жыл бұрын

Trust yourself. And life will always have obstacles and shit. Ive been through it. But they're only there for us to learn from.

@thomashninan3825

4 жыл бұрын

Trust no one trust God

I got a bit teared up at this video. This happened to me from 11-15 through the internet which made me feel like it wasn't "as bad" I just thank you so much for talking about this

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry that you had to go through that :( No matter how it happens its all bad and it's okay to be upset about it. xoxo

@emelia428

6 жыл бұрын

Calvin McLaughlin when I was around 10-12, I got my first iPod. I downloaded several chat apps - I don't know why I wanted to talk to strangers. but these men would message me and say disgusting things to me. I'm the same. i feel like it's impacted me and my sexual & intimate relationships now so much. I still feel responsible for it and like it wasn't a big deal. I don't know why it bothers me so much.

@JSandwich13

6 жыл бұрын

Kati Morton thank you very much Kati! It's a daily struggle to process it all but I'm just glad people like you are talking about it and the effects it can have because it helps to know you're not going through it alone.

@JSandwich13

6 жыл бұрын

emelia rhodes I felt a lot of guilt and shame over the years and I still struggle with it to this day. It's also impacted my relationships with others in the same way and I really struggle to remind myself I was just a child and I'm not to blame. They're so good at making you think it's your fault and it took me a while to get out of that mindset. I am so sorry that you experienced this too and I wish you well for the future.

@faithjones1193

6 жыл бұрын

me too! I understand, it happened to me when I was 13. Hope you're okay

Dear @KZread executives, there are videos on your platform that are highly inappropriate, but videos like this by Kati Morton, containing sensitive material are starting conversations, giving people hope and helping to educate people around the world on topics that we need to lift the lid on. I look forward to the day that the technology you pour your money and resources into knows the difference and will monetize videos for education sake. Stand behind people like Kati who are out there being the difference and making the difference. We wouldn’t be where we are without her! Love your work Kati!

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

Wow. Thank you Billy, I really appreciate this comment. As for KZread, I think the algorithm is (machine) learning the difference, albeit slowly. I too hope that things get better quickly. In the meantime, knowing that you and others are willing to support my channel through patreon.com/katimorton really makes all the difference and allows us to keep creating. Thank you :)

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

xoxoxo

@christienbbrooks7334

6 жыл бұрын

Totally agree, I can never tell you the help you have been to me ! Kati thank you so so much for your channel, I know that it’s a lot of work! Thank you,!

@malikathueler2529

6 жыл бұрын

Billy Hawkins couldn't agree more !!!!

@susettehorspool2646

2 жыл бұрын

I tend not to watch videos that are "monetized," just so you know. Ads are a turnoff and make the video feel insincere-like they're only there to make money, not to really help people.

this video made me think of the movie "trust" which scared the crap out of me at an age where i really needed someone to scare me. it shows every stage you talk about in this video and the thing i love most about the film is that the main character (the victim) isn't naive but smart and skeptical which shows how horrible things can happen to anyone. before i watched it i would tell myself that nothing could ever happen to me "i'm not stupid" which is the worst possible attitude when it comes to all of this.

@lianamark2484

6 жыл бұрын

Blondine vloggt I remember reading reviews of that movie and see people saying how stupid the girl was for still talking to him after she found out he was lying to her. I guess from an outsider perspective it's obvious what was happening, but to her it wasn't and that's the point. She was lonely and vulnerable and that made the grooming easier. However, it still wasn't her fault and she wasn't stupid.

@UnPeuDeTourisme

Жыл бұрын

Naive not means stupid.

I was groomed when I was 19 years old...by my best friend's step-dad. I was so clueless and easy to manipulate when I was a teenager. It took me years to figure out that the abusive "relationship" was actually grooming and sexual abuse. His intention was always to use me for sex, then throw me away when he got bored. He should have spent time in jail for what he did to me...but the world doesn't care because I was over 18...it was literally my 19th birthday party when the grooming/abuse began. I was still very much a child, mentally. I am also autistic.

@bensmith8957

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that happened to you

@kellyzimmerman7631

2 жыл бұрын

Im sorry, it must be heavy carrying such weight

@psychicrenegade

2 жыл бұрын

@@bensmith8957 Thank you 💙

@psychicrenegade

2 жыл бұрын

@@kellyzimmerman7631 The only thing that bothers me...now...is that my friend hates my guts, and still talks to the goddamn abuser like he did nothing wrong! My friend thinks I "seduced" or "cheated" with the step-dad...but I was a super vulnerable teenager...and he was a 45-year-old married man!

@ruanrossouw4916

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Luna, you are extraordinarily brave for sharing what happened to you know that your experience is valid and what you feel is too. Thank you for validating an experience that happened to me someone has been through a similar situation as me as only a month after I turned 18 I was groomed by someone in my extended family.

1. Victim identification (1:28) 2. Gaining trust & access (1:51) 3. Becoming important to the victim (2:46) 4. Isolation (3:23) 5. Secrecy around the relationship (3:52) 6. Sexualizing the relationship (4:24) 7. Controlling the relationship (5:29)

I am a grown man and I have to be mindful about people coming into my life and abusing my trust. I’ve recently cut off a friend who showed many strong traits of an emotionally abusive personality. So trust me, it’s definitely not just women who can get hurt. Anyone who opens themselves up to others is subject to being abused and hurt. We just have to be mindful and shut it down when it happens.

@kjtamf

5 жыл бұрын

Minh Nguyen 🙏🏻❤️👍🏻😔

@rebeccalove2065

5 жыл бұрын

Not the same thing

@user-zv9no2my6j

5 жыл бұрын

first, nobody said that sexual abuse does not happen to boys or men as well. so why do you even bring this up in a way that accuses basically everyone of saying it wouldn't? second, that emotional abuse is bad is true. but comparing it to any other kind of abuse makes no sense, is unethical and saying it happened to you too, while you were emotionally abused and this video is about sexual abuse of children shows you're very ignorant and self-absorbed in my opinon. it just doesn't make any sense to go to a video were she doesn't say it happens only to girls or women and pretend she does and to on top of that, you are basically saying oh children groomed for sexual abuse, but look at poor me, I was emotionally abused as a grown man. like WTF???

@user-zv9no2my6j

5 жыл бұрын

@MwM you can attest (too??), that you were emotionally abused, under a video that is about the grooming of children for sexual abuse? get a grip, seriously! and nobody in the video or comments ever said that it does not happen to boys or men as well! even though females are targeted mostly and much more often (this is data, facts, not exaggerating) . so why do you feel the need to bring that up you were emotionally abused under such a video? do you even understand the context?

@sinisterstork9055

4 жыл бұрын

@@user-zv9no2my6j 1- Grooming IS emotional abuse you dumbass. 2- The video itself states that not only children experience it. So they're not all that off-topic.

I was 15 when a 29 year old started grooming me. I was on holiday and i had no idea what was happening. Luckily i went home before it got further that kissing. Im so ashamed i didnt know what was happening and so disappointed my mother didnt protect me from that.

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry you had to go through that :( But I am glad that it didn't progress any further.. thank you for sharing your story. xoxo

@kami7090

3 жыл бұрын

I know similar situation, boy was 18, woman was 29, she groomed him in all 7 signs, she was living in same house for some time and coming in boys room at night.. The wors part.. Boys mom saw that and did nothing! She said to the boy, its your life, do as you wish..

@pollytheparrot8929

Жыл бұрын

Soo sorry to hear abt it.. I was molested by my so called bro in law.. Before that he kind of was grooming me, now I realize.. He used to talk all kinds of nonsense on phone to me, I didn't know how to react! As was afraid that my family will kind of blame me! That's wat really happened.. My parents, sis didnt support me they blamed me... It's really pathetic 😔

I teared up watching this. It happened to me from age 15 to 19 by a family friend whose was in his 40s. The sexualization started at age 17. I am 27 now and I always felt I was responsible as I was almost an adult. This video gave words to my feelings. I have never discussed this with anyone and this is the first time I am saying it outloud. Thank you.

@rachelLadyD

10 ай бұрын

our brains don't fully develop till we are 25, so you weren't in as good a postition to make good decisions as an adult. You were still really young, in your teens so you should never feel guilty or ashamed, they should.

This happened to me 2 years ago with a psychologist, once he slid his hand down my back and I shivered, it's scary to know the one you trust the most is manipulating you, today I saw him in public for the first time in a year and he became really controlling that I had to walk away, it's scary to know someone whose around lots of vulnerable people has the power to Do this

@ephemera...

6 жыл бұрын

beccaandream that's awful!

@lennielion

5 жыл бұрын

Predators/abusers will infiltrate professions in which they can gain the best access to ideal targets. I truly don't trust anyone!

@sonjas.2568

5 жыл бұрын

I went to a psykologist because of sexual grooming by a policeman. The psykologist gave me the creps. And I never went back. Some time later I talked to another woman about this psykologist. She broke down in tears. He had sexualy molested her, and she knew of another woman whom he also molested. What I wanted to say was, allways trust your instinkt! Thats the only thing I have learned from encountering psychopaths in my life🙄 THE ONLY THING...

@shellym1736

3 жыл бұрын

Hope you've found strength and love! ❤️ I have gone through a similar one and I understand, the only difference being I was drunk and this guy was someone I was going out with. He also groomed me after this for further advances, which took me a while to realise!

@Healingpath1988

2 жыл бұрын

Me too it’s very confusing because they are supposed to be caregivers 🙏

lest year me and my friend were groomed and sexually abused by our friends dad, ( were only 12 and 13 ) we finally were able to tell our families and we want to make sure he gets punished. i just wanted to share this because im proud of myself for coming forward and opening up and i think if you went through this or are currently that you should to

@bensmith8957

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that happened to you

@louistabaruka1866

Жыл бұрын

Pornography is the problem

@jackilynpyzocha662

10 ай бұрын

I've warned others; they don't want to hear the truth; I told them anyway!

@ITRUTH213

9 ай бұрын

I’m 37 and my uncle introduced me to pornography, would watch it with me, he would make comments about my body. Gave me massages. I just now realizing that was not okay. My dad wasn’t around so I had no one to talk to about my body, etc. he just recently told me I can do only fans for work. I’m tired of him sexualizing me.

@alicemakarevich6762

8 ай бұрын

It's amazing that you're so strong despite being so young! I'm really proud of you for standing up for yourselves.

My psychologist started grooming me at 13 after I lost a pet that was very dear to me. I didn't realise that what he was doing was wrong until he made an example I brought up sexual, I continued on with the session and told my mum right away because she was in the room right before he said what he said and I knew after being abused by my dad and by not telling her it would only get worse. So thankfully it only lasted for about under a year or so.

@ephemera...

6 жыл бұрын

Aimee Elisha I'm sorry to hear this happened, it's awful. Well done for speaking up and taking care of yourself.

@awkwardathena434

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you :)

@MelvinDaMan

20 күн бұрын

Fuck this world bro

From my own experience, the best way to be aware if this is happening to your child is: -You don't see them as often/talk to them about any of their personal issues (this is now the predator's job). -They receive gifts from an adult when it is not a birthday or holiday. -If your child has sleepovers with a friend, it is ALWAYS at that friend's house and never at yours. (Again, from personal experience, the predator made his daughter's house to be the "Fun House".) -The predator personally introduces their child to your child, rather than their child introducing them self. Uses their child as a way into your child's life. -Your child is secretive about their texting conversations. I'm not saying parents should snoop through their child's messages unwarranted, but my parents caught wind of what was happening by seeing which numbers were most frequently texting me. This way, they weren't reading my texting convos unless there was a problem. Hope this helps someone.

@kakerake6018

4 жыл бұрын

no it doesn't my problem is the grey area in between it all. all my childhood i disliked my family for various reasons and i also lived in a cult. i wanted a different life but had to keep everything secret from myy parents(my texts, my friends, social media accounts, my entire life outside of their vision). i have more trust in ppl outside my family. sooo are my friends who're helping me out but also sexually interested in me grooming me? what about ppl i'm trying to help out but am interested in them am i grooming them? would it help to make your intentions clear from the start??? listen fam i just don't want to be accused of this or have it happen to me...

@BrainhasPain

4 жыл бұрын

Oh wow. Very informative. I will keep this information close at ✋. I'm trying to learn how to groom myself. Lol. 💋😍 i possibly know a girl who behaves like you say

@murasakihamster1866

4 жыл бұрын

@@kakerake6018 shhh silence dude this not about you it is about groomers why are you offended if you are not one of them lmao

@elainesuth6771

3 жыл бұрын

I know the signs, but what do you do about it?

@erindipity

3 жыл бұрын

It can happen in the very house they live in by a family member or family friend but everything else is spot on

This sounds exactly like narcissism - how an adult man seduces an adult woman - same grooming - isolation - secrecy -

@ShnailyShnail

4 жыл бұрын

You know there are female narssacist and predators as well don't fool yourself into thinking predatory and controlling abuse is a Male trait cause it's not

@bluemasquerade7491

4 жыл бұрын

Learn more about Gemma watts posing as a guy

@abrahanrodriguez9003

4 жыл бұрын

That’s what I was thinking.

@AnaRose13206

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly what I’ve been going through for years, this so called “Pastor” exposed himself and has been covertly sexually harassment while simultaneously smearing my name so no one wouldn’t believe or support me if I said anything. Seriously considering taking legal actions against him.

@kimkilgore148

4 жыл бұрын

@@AnaRose13206 a "Pastor ". I've seen everything now.i can't believe this .I've always heard these types hang out in churches. Sending hugs .. #staystrong

After I saw this happen , I stopped it and told him exactly what I know he is doing... He was shocked and obviously he denied it.... But now he is very carful around me and he knows I will never trust him .... He is in my life now.... I feel good that I confronted him. I wish I new this before when I was little...

@everything5066

6 жыл бұрын

Marissa Van Oudtshoorn you're incredibly brave kepep your head up always!

@michellegarcia6302

5 жыл бұрын

I'm not that brave yet he's my uncle and lives with us....

@BrainhasPain

4 жыл бұрын

Real expectations...in a real 🌎

@BrainhasPain

4 жыл бұрын

@@michellegarcia6302 how old are you and is it a blood relative?

@SparkleP8nter

4 жыл бұрын

Michelle Garcia oh no YOU NEED TO GET AWAY...

Kati, what you are doing is so important! This video could really save someone.

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

That's what I am hoping it will do :) xoxo

I feel like I was groomed by an older women at the time I thought I was such a lucky dude but looking back now and thinking about it and now that I’m with a girl who is closer to my age.. I find it pretty odd that I shared a sexual relationship with a 41 year old woman when I was 18 still in High School

@morgancunningham9230

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah definitely not ok. I was a 17 year old girl who had slept with a 41 year old while I was drunk. That’s one of my experiences.

@theempresskitchen7287

Жыл бұрын

@@morgancunningham9230’m 34 thinking about my 18-20yr old life and how this older man came into my job and groomed me, coerced me to his home etc. he refused to tell me his age. Mind you he had to be at least 35 back then. Smh. Now he has a daughter.

this video really got me. i've never been able to say this before, but i was groomed as an adult between 22 & 25. i still find it hard to believe it, because i was an adult, but hearing your words in this video, i guess just reiterated the truth. it kind of feels like dry swallowing a big pill; it's terrifying. i felt so trapped for so long & i still continue to beat myself up that maybe i could have done something to get out.. i don't know. thank you kati. i'm so grateful for you xx

@fleurmeijer5969

6 жыл бұрын

Glad you got out! I don't know how you got out, but the fact that you did makes me glad. There are so many people in the comments who this happend to, and wow, it's suck that there are people who would actually do that to another person. Try not to be too harsh on yourself for not getting out sooner, I don't think you deserve that kind of criticism (or any), you didn't do this to yourself, someone else did.

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry that you went through that.. I hope you can find someone to talk to about it all. It can take time, but we can heal and begin to see that it wasn't our fault, and there wasn't anything we could do. xoxo

@BeautythruHeart

6 жыл бұрын

Abby Sian I've been groomed both adult, child..not only one. I've gotten counseling. Stopped dating for awhile took time heal. Look for other qualities in men.

@_InsertName_

4 жыл бұрын

Same here, had to me from 18-19 age, glad that I got out. 😥 I fear relationships now..

@Thearrowstrikes

3 жыл бұрын

I was in the process of being groomed, a friend fell victim to it. People are actually scary and we are both in our 20s. Some men are truly disgusting creatures.

This made me feel so sick

I wish I could have been able to watch this when I was younger. Unfortunately it's much too late for me. I hope it isn't too late for others and this helps. You're making a difference. Thank you.

I've seen adults do it to other adults. Usually the adult they're grooming was a victim of CSA. Predators can smell that weakness. My best friend did it to my wife while constantly assuring me that he was harmless and loving.

@Xxzomb4iexX

Ай бұрын

i can vouch for this. im 18, was recently groomed by a 30yr coworker who was supposed to be my trainer. im also autistic and a past victim. im extremely vulnerable, and people like this can definitely tell weaknesses like that.

As a victim. This is very relatable.

This is why, as someone who works with young kids, i have several hard and fast rules: no gifts, no secrets of any sort (even innocent ones), and no going or staying anywhere unsupervised with any child.

I just realized I need advice on how to save someone who’s currently being groomed....

@tabitas.2719

5 жыл бұрын

Maybe send them this video because it really spoke to you? Best would be if you both know a third party this happened to and talk about that - maybe that could be a conversation opener to telling him/her your fears.

@leslie5493

3 жыл бұрын

save me

@CoerciveManifesto25

3 жыл бұрын

@@leslie5493 oh gosh, what's going on? I can try to help

im not ready to talk about my experience, but hearing you talk about this helped me, thank you

The aftermath of when the groomers get what they want would be good to speak about..the threats..how you feel..ect. It effected me for years..I felt so isolated that I stopped eating and wanted to die..was in treatments for years. Therapy and knowledge that it is not your fault makes a massive difference...but was hard to see at a young age.

@Katimorton

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing Sarah.. and yes I can continue to talk about this and the ramifications of grooming. It's such an important topic to keep speaking about. xoxo

Grooming or any sexualized behavior is sick, it happened to someone I know when they were a young child

I had a really bad feeling about someone who I thought wanted to be my friend, after my best friend met him too she said she also had a weird feeling. Watching this video made me realized why we felt weird, and this confirmed my fears. Thank you so much these videos are important.

This is such important information! I'm going to watch this with my 13 year old daughter. You explain everything gently, calmly, and in age appropriate detail for her. Thank you, Kati! xoxo

@fredahwiwu5219

8 ай бұрын

You are doing the right thing ehs need to know you are a good mama bear

Could you do a video like this, but more focused on adult relationships?

@19katsandcounting

6 жыл бұрын

Caitlin Quinn yes especially where there's a power imbalance like a work situation or age difference

i came here to learn what grooming was and just realized oh shit

@andrewjudeus6283

3 жыл бұрын

Yup. Same here 😡

I was groomed at 25 at work. I informed them but they didnt protect me. I was very vulnerable and isolated at the time. He knew that and emotionally manipulated me

Thanks, Kati. I came to recognize and intellectually acknowledge the way I was groomed and sexually abused by an older female family friend when I was 14-15 many years ago. As my own children became young teenagers, I couldn't help but see through a parent's eyes how young and vulnerable they were. And that forced me to look at child me through that same parental lens, which forced me to face it and acknowledge it to myself instead of mostly ignoring it and trying to pretend it never happened. The problem is that while I can intellectually see the ways she used the techniques you describe to subvert my agency, turn my own desperate need for love and acceptance against me, and make me an active participant in my abuse, that changes nothing about the way it feels. I never resisted. I never said no, at any stage, no matter what was asked. She even encouraged me to believe I was seducing her and she was powerless to resist -- even though she knew she should. I was devastated when she ended it and I've always felt like both the relationship (or abuse I guess) itself and its end were my fault. Intellectually, I know that's not true. I can see and understand everything she did. I know I was the child. I didn't perceive it or understand it all at once. In fact, it took decades. But I do understand it today. However that knowledge changes nothing about the way it feels. All the shame, all the hurt, all the pain are still there. And I still feel like I'm the one to blame.

@tabitas.2719

5 жыл бұрын

I pray healing for your feeling of guilt/blame! You were the child. You should have been protected, not abused - I know it's difficult to tell yourself when your emotions disagree...

@Kayce860

4 жыл бұрын

Female predators are often overlooked as predators because we don’t associate women as sexually sadistic or sexual abuses

@janelleanderson6744

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for saying that--true.

@theempresskitchen7287

Жыл бұрын

your story reminds me of that film “the reader.” I hope you find peace and healing 🧡

Was groomed as a toddler all the way up until I was twenty-two. I sit here often contemplating about all those predators who preyed on me. I'm not the only one though. Every kid I went to school with seemed to act out sexually. I mean being a freshman in high school, and dating someone in college. It was normalized when I was growing up. I guess we were all groomed. The older I get, the more sicker I get thinking back how all this even happened.

@lastthingsministry

Жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ can save you. He saved me from a life of being groomed by people.

I believe that I was groomed and I remember it being just short of overt sexual touch (a lot of rubbing my back, pressuring me to give hugs, gifts, getting me alone, making a show of doing me special favours, isolating me from my peers, etc). I am missing chunks of my memory from that age though and am also missing months of diary entries (I tended to write quite a bit unless I was hiding something that I was worriedly sister would read). I feel like I have lasting trauma from being groomed (it still triggers nightmares and intrusive thoughts 15 years later) but I've always been made to feel crazy because "nothing criminal happened" and "he was just a little creepy". How do you process trauma that you aren't even sure happened?

@tabitas.2719

5 жыл бұрын

It sounds like you have trauma - from the effects; the original event has nothing to do with whether or not something was traumatic. I would suggest looking for a therapist who is specialized in trauma. It will be emotionally challenging and take time, but it is worth it! :) All the best and God's blessings and healing!

@wlkswmn

3 жыл бұрын

I am glad to came across this because I have been sexually abused as a small child from my father and my aunt and I remember very little (like strange after effects) and most of my memory from that age is missing but I have experienced extreme trauma and bad relationships in my adolescence and adult years that resemble my younger abuse and I have rage and so many issues. I came to realize the grooming now and was also groomed recently as an adult. I have processed some pain but there is much more underlying. I pray that you find healing. Thanks for sharing🌹

@juliaostlund9360

3 жыл бұрын

I aboslutely hear you, I'm processing something almost exactly similar.

@theempresskitchen7287

Жыл бұрын

Same. I have disturbing memories I can not pinpoint what’s happening aside from the images. I’m triggered by smells and bathrooms as well.

I've experienced this. Now it's happening with my sister, and it's like she's floating away on a detached island. Nothing I do or don't do seems to help her out. She seems sadder and sadder each time I see her, which is further & further apart, and she lives less than a mile away....

@divinedeanna

3 жыл бұрын

@@Soph-TV Well. She did break up with that guy back then. Moved two hours away. She's alive. But its not like I really know her or if shes "okay" in general.

casually crying. Kati this is so helpful and informative. thank you for making me want to actually speak up and out about this

I swear every time someone says "sexual predator" i get a chill down my spine. and im a grown man

This is incredibly important. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, thank you for talking about this. ❤️ I struggled for years feeling unlovable, worthless, and ashamed. Going through EMDR & trauma therapy has done wonders, and I can now call myself a survivor and advocate. We’re not alone, thank you Kati!

@citrine6469

9 ай бұрын

what counts as sexual abuse? Im not sure if what happenened to me counts as sexual abuse?

I was groomed, abused and assaulted BY my therapist. It is the most frustrating thing ever when the solution to healing is to go back to the scenario that fucked you up in the first place. Soul destroying :(

I would like to add more the Isolation, filling a need and selecting the victim signs you mentioned. Older predators will target young immature insecure teens and will enact in a practice I call, “forced maturing” , in which they will make the teen feel like they are somehow special from the rest of people their age, giving compliments like, “You’re so mature for you’re age”, or “You’re not like other people your age” etc. This isolates the victim and targets on any insecurities the person may be feeling, as now they are being fed compliments and feeling validated. This works in tandem with the idea that an older person “wanting you” validates you and makes you feel more confident, rather than realizing you are a victim.

@princessdianaox

2 жыл бұрын

WOWW THIS!! I was 16 and he was 20. It stopped 4 years later. and I blamed myself for so long.

@spring4010

Жыл бұрын

Well said

@theempresskitchen7287

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. I been through this

I’ve recently had some memories resurface about my grandmother. And I’ve been struggling with the memories and feelings the past several months. I see a therapist but I don’t feel like she’s taking it as seriously as she should. :( this video helped me feel less alone. Thank you💕

This is the first time I’ve ever heard somebody tell me that it’s not my fault..and it sunk in. Thank you..I know something is happening and I am beginning to heal. This content that you’ve covered is one thousand percent important. I am actually amazed that I never fully spotted the man. For years I have been protecting him..inward and outward. I cannot thank you enough for putting out this content. Without words this man took my voice away. I have lived in shame and silence for years. He was a church leader and it was “wrong for me to destroy his family”. Because if I told the truth he would lose his job, reputation, everything. It’s so hard to talk about but I see better now that I MUST heal and move forward by being open. Hearing other people’s stories, hearing how people are so loving, understanding, and caring is everything. Thank you

@bensmith8957

3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that happened to you

@KelseyBeloved

3 жыл бұрын

@@bensmith8957 thank you so much 💕💕💕

Hey Kati, I know that I'm about a year late, but I just wanted to say that this video really helped me leave a toxic relationship, and I probably wouldn't have realized the toxicity of this relationship if it wasn't for you. You're an amazing person inside out and you've really made an impact. 💕

This happens in Religious cults all the time. I was part of one for years. Sometimes the leaders secretly do this but openly teach the congregation to follow the laws of the land.. grudgingly.

@jessicaottis6127

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear you went through that! If you're interested I highly recommend a podcast called Cultish where they discuss the harmful behaviors inside cults.

@sanmigueltv

3 жыл бұрын

Jessica Ottis Thanks. I’ve heard of this podcast.

@jessicaottis6127

3 жыл бұрын

@@sanmigueltv It's one of my favorites. 👍

@sanmigueltv

3 жыл бұрын

Jessica Ottis This is the 2nd time someone suggested it.. I’ll check it out thanks.

I just saw this and you made me realize that the man I’m with has been doing this to me for years

So helpful. Very true that it can happen to adults too. Their capacity for obession and control is frightening. Thank you so much 💗💗💗 therapy definitely helps to see the situation for the reality that it is and not through the lens the groomer has brainwashed you to see it as. It enforces that what has happened isn't your fault and that you were abused. Awareness is key 💗💗💗

This is such an important video. The work you do is priceless. Thanks for sharing!

I want to thank you for stating that it can happen at any age not to just children. I didn't realize this was the case until I started to research it more and realized it can really happen at any age. I am trying to write a story about grooming and how it affects an individual and videos like this and stories and experiences help when you have never been through it yourself. This was very informative and helpful, thank you for sharing this with us!

Grooming isn’t leading. Seduction isn’t connection. Lying isn’t love. Keep educating. This is important stuff! 🙏🏼😍

Grooming was the part that really ruined my mind latter in life. I didn’t understand boundaries and I was so confused about sex at that point.

I've been in all of these stages! Thanks for making me understand what I've been through! I had my first therapy session a week ago! We'll see how it goes!

I just realized that my ex literally did everything she talked about I met her at 16 and she was 19 and the relationship lasted about 4-5 years Shit fucked me up I can barely trust older women even if I know they never would do such a thing and the only woman I feel I can trust is my mother

I am a dad with children and I hate knowing things like this is going on and it scares me for my children safety

thank you & everyone on patreon that supports you, this information needs to get out there

There were several adults who sexually abused me before the age of 10. I just admitted that to my therapist 39 years later. Looking back, I did tell a few other therapists about a few other incidents I had been terrorized by. I was frozen with fear because one was a Monsinior another was the Vice Principle of our middle school. I felt that people would never believe me and Gaslight me.

Would you have any advice on how to deal with and help victims of grooming who are defensive of their abusers? I was groomed as a teen, and it scares me to think about, because so many people tried to point out that the relationship was inappropriate, or were uncomfortable with the relationship etc. but I became so defensive of it, I was convinced I was in love and would do anything for him (which was all part of the manipulation process, and the purpose of the grooming as I was completely emotionally dependant on him for my sense of worth). People tried to reach out, both while it was happening and in the aftermath, but still, for months I adamantly defended him and never talked to people who insinuated he'd done something wrong, including my therapist. In my eyes they were just trying to tear us apart, and just didn't understand our special relationship etc etc. I realise that feeling like the whole world is against you is kind of a part of being a teenager, but looking back, it worries me that if someone I knew was in the same situation I used to be, I really wouldn't be sure how to help them when they're determined that nothing's wrong...

@aintgotnoname6548

6 жыл бұрын

SamSings i would just be there for them no matter what and show them what healthy support looks like, withholding judgement and being a safe place they can go to when they finally figure out the truth

@jes3927

6 жыл бұрын

I was in that shit too. When someone finally spoke to me seriously about it, I was upset and in denial, like they were trying to ruin my happiness, and I felt like my boat was sinking and I had to swim and guess who I first ran to? Took me a long time and some pain to swallow the bitter pill and see the truth years later.

@TheCitlalli71

5 жыл бұрын

This is happening to me rn...... I don’t wanna accept it. I can’t. Maybe one day, but what if it’s too late? Idk what to do.....

@oLiver-dc4fi

5 жыл бұрын

TheCitlalli71 This is your sign that you need to get away from them. It’s hard, I know. I’m stuck too. DM me on instagram @dyloli.exe if you need to talk. You are NOT alone in this.

@sachellelewis

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheCitlalli71 Im recently going though this rn. Did u get out ?

I was sexually molested by a neighbor, he said it was a game, he called it "doctor ". I have PTSD from this and don't like being touched by men and get flash backs of bad memories

@garystinten9339

6 жыл бұрын

James Webb Jr I hope you get some support and find a treatment plan to help you through this..

I didnt realize what happened to me until my therapist told me. I feel so much shame around it, but this video really helped clear it up. Thank you Kati

1:28 stage 1 1:51 stage 2 2:45 stage 3 3:22 stage 4 3:52 stage 5 4:24 stage 6 5:29 stage 7 .................and there goes my mental image of guy-in-trenchcoat with free candy van. Thank you Kati Morton. I now know what to look out for.

Kati you're a literal life saver! This video is so so so important. Thank you so much for the incredible work that you do!

I had a creep like this in my life. He knew I was going thru a hard time. He used to help me SO MUCH, he even came to my Grandmother's funeral. I let him look after my 10 month old while i gave a eulogy. When I was floating around afterwards chatting to people he began growling at my baby. I absolutely lost it. Told him to get out of my life. I was SO LIVID. But that 'helpfulness' is such a red flag. If someone is overly helpful - be careful. Watch their behaviour and see if they have an agenda.

Thank you for this video Kati. I'm tearing up watching this. Like other commenters on this video, I experienced online grooming from a sexual predator for months and it lead to the darkest, worst time/depression in my entire life. Thank you for validating my experience and giving me the words to communicate to others what happened and that it was not my fault. Thank you so much. Truly, this means so much to me right now and is so helpful.

Thank you do much for spreading awareness.More needs to be done to keep all children safe. You are saving a precious life by helping others to be aware.Thank you

Thank you for speaking about this. This is a really important topic.

Thank you for the video! I appreciate that you pointed out that it can occur to adults, too.

This was shared by a friend on FB, this awareness needs to be spread!

I’m not going to disclose anything about my situation, but I am going to say, thank you for this. Especially thank you for saying that it doesn’t just happen to kids. Thank you a million times over.

I was groomed when I was 18 by a man in his 40s I didn't realize what happened until now: I'm 21. At least now I can make sense of what happened and start to recover from it. Thank you for making this video.

@yellowhibiscus-ll2gx

Жыл бұрын

I didn’t fully realise until I was 33, still lived in the fantasy of him being the good, caring guy he had duped everyone into believing (yes even his family)😣was soul crushing having to educate myself about it many years later but they are damaged people who DON’T get better with age. 😒

@poopdick69

Жыл бұрын

Holy fuck, I'm so sorry

i read the book "Want To Go Private" when i was younger and it's about grooming and sexual assault. it really opened my eyes to this matter and i suggest it if you want to explore the subject more. it's also based on a true story.

Thanks for this video, Kati. Just hearing your voice is helpful after a long day! 💕

Thank you for making this. Mental health education is so important for everyone. I've seen this with other types of abusers too and with people who want to manipulate you. I've been told by someone who gaslighted me for years. I was told that I was so messed up that the abuser was the only one who can understand me. Wow it's eye opening. I can check the boxes. Instead of sexualizing the relationship they started to get more and more physically and emotionally abusive. I have the trauma of sexual abuse as well. The shame almost killed me. Getting through this has been very tough. I'm glad I did. I've been in therapy for 7 yrs. The PTSD is getting better. I'm trusting myself more. The I'm not to blame is a big one too. My abusers would tell me that I was making them do it. That me getting the abuse is my fault. My neighbors gradually got me out of the situation. If I hadn't of said anything it might still be happening or I might be dead. It's so scary to think that right now there are people, children and adults, trapped in an abusive person's grip. Education is our best tool. Thank you for making this. This can help so many people. This video is important for survivors and those who have not been victimized. What's also scary is even with the healthy folks I know, they have experienced abuse directly or knew different folks whose lives had been devastated by it. Chances are that folks who have blinders on know someone who has or is going through a toxic or abusive situation. This video is important for everyone. Only by learning about it can we prevent it and heal the damage already caused. Thank you so much!

Wow. I have been struggling with what happened to me around 10 years ago, I always believed it was my fault and have been living with guilt and shame everyday. I’ve been too scared to live life out of the shadows as I didn’t believe I deserved the time or space. But watching this video has made me realise that maybe it wasn’t my fault, and that I was in fact groomed and then abused mentally and sexually. I just by chance happened to come across this video, thank you so so much Kati, words can’t express enough how much this has helped me to be able to begin properly processing what happened, and to stop living in fear. THANK YOU KATI mind blown x

My partner is experiencing this right at this moment. Thank you for your advice and bravery.

Thank you. This is going to help my friend greatly. I didn't know how to help him with advice concerning his dealing with sexual abuse and this has explained so much. I assure you that this will help aid in his healing. Thank you. MAY YOUR KINDNESS BE RETURNED 100 FOLD!!

Kati - Thank you for sharing this very important message❤️ Please, can you make a video about grooming of adults? Bless you

Ugh even learning about this makes me feel gross. I wish kids were taught these warning signs in school.

i got groomed by my biological dad, (im adopted) he did alot of things to me that i didnt see because of my autism, he saw that i was vunerable, he also used my twin sister's memory agaisnt me (she passed away when we were babies) now im in therapy trying to work thru it but its hard :(

@-spinel-7257

Жыл бұрын

Get well soon!

Excellent video. I hope it reaches people everywhere because it is a very important topic. Kids are giving pop music videos millions of views when this kind of video is what they need to watch, and schools should be discussing these topics too. The signs you speak about remind me of the points in the book 'the Gift of Fear' by Gavin De Becker. Keep up the great work, Kati.

i was 10-11 and he was 25. he got away with it all. i am so thankful for video like these. i am 16 now, and now that i'm old enough to understand what actually happened to me i feel so terrible about it, like i should hide it all away and never speak about it again. but i'm thankful for videos like these.

My parents were always very very careful about who i was allowed to be around. Dad was a cop so he was wise to all of this. And mom was a victim as a kid so she was wise to it and paranoid about it.

EMRD therapy is great. You have make sure your counselor is really trained well. I am Christian. I did inner healing and deliverance and really healed me. My intense emotions went from a 10 to a 2. I am can take shower, be a laundry and sleep on a bed. I am self-supported Christian missionary i have been serving for 15 years and I work with abuse survivors. I was not abused by the Christians but my abusers where male and female under the age of 25. I am now 40. Hoping one day to be married:)

Thank you for providing this great and important resource! Keep up the good work.

i've gone through this with two different men - a close family member and a person online - from the ages of 8 through 13 & i know that because of my abnormal developmental experiences and understandings, i will never be normal really upsetting but also gratifying to hear the process put into words

I am actually so relieved and ecstatic that I came across such an important, life-saving video!! I became preyed upon by one of my former male high school instructors after I inappropriately told him that I had a crush on him. At the time, I was sixteen in the eleventh grade. I thought that everything would be okay, and that my former instructor wouldn't act on it because I was a minor and a student. Unfortunately, I was wrong. He started to groom me, and made me feel very uncomfortable around him numerous times. I never told my parents, my friends or other instructors I had, because I was afraid of him getting hurt, and that was also my way of protecting him. I'm now twenty-three, looking back and have now realized that I should have never protected him. I should have spoken up and reported him to my parents, the principal, my other instructors, my friends, a counselor, and more importantly, the police. EVERYONE should have gotten involved!! We all know that two wrongs DO NOT make a right ever, but my former instructor is just as worst. He was my sexual predator when I was in high school and today. He used my feelings that I once had for him as a tactic to prey on me then, and now. He is also extremely toxic, jealous-hearted, and very controlling. It seriously breaks my heart literally everyday because I never thought I would experience/encounter such a thing like this. I do know that I am NOT the only one! NO ONE deserves this type of treatment from ANYONE! Please get help if you think/know you are a victim of a sexual abuser! You will be proud of yourself in the end! The abuser will get what they deserve for hurting you; you will be saved, and no longer in danger! God bless everyone!! ❤

Oh my goodness this happened to me and I didn't know that this is what it is called.

This was so incredibly helpful! Thank you!

Omg 😪 I’m so glad this video exists, I really needed to hear this 💜 she delivered it in such a great way - I’m subscribing ...