Don't be a foster parent if you are in need of money. If you think you will make money from fostering, you won't.

@afosteredlife

8 ай бұрын

Indeed!

@Upper_echelon_exotics

6 ай бұрын

Yeah that's the first thing I learned. Every time I bring up fostering people say "oh yeah you get money for that." I'm like, that money goes towards the kid. I wouldn't do it for the money. Whatever money I get goes towards the child.

@erinmalone2669

Ай бұрын

Amen to that! If you’re not in it to help, then don’t do it. The pittance is not worth it if you don’t have a fully willing heart.

@glenm5034

Ай бұрын

My Neibor has 6 foster , That 's $2k permonth

Thank you for validating my childhood experience. I grew up a biological child in a foster family, and I resented it completely. I do feel it "ruined" my childhood but never, until now, felt allowed to say so. I was forced onto the backburner and felt required to act mature beyond my years and helpful rather than just be a kid! I'm a foster/adoptive mom now and plan to focus on my soon-to-be daughter's needs rather than try to take on more than is sustainable by adding more kids to the mix.

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

How incredible that you have chosen to foster in spite of your grief over what fostering cost you as a child! You are making such a wise choice. I really appreciate you commenting, and I’m so glad I was able to validate your experiences!

@libbyhyett6625

Жыл бұрын

Me too. My childhood was this.

@kaylajoyella7667

6 ай бұрын

I get sick of people who were in Fostercare blaming thier childhood on the Fostercare system! Me by siblings were in foster-care. The people who ruined my childhood were my biological parents!!!! In other countries children are left homeless on the streets if their parents die or refuse to care for them! I thank God for those average people who took in six orphaned children gave us the clothes the food and family experiences my parents failed to provide. Was Not the foster homes who screwed up.. it was my parents who screwed things up for us!!!!

@kaylajoyella7667

6 ай бұрын

I also have adopted a son from foster care.. two years latter I am now going to take in another child it may or may not lead to adoption. The child will resent us some the child will give us a hard time because they are children trying to make sense of an adult world how it affects them. Honestly, I want to help the child in my care learn life skills and perspectives that will give them the opportunity not just to survive in life but to thrive in life. That will take time lots of time. Even of I adopt again ultimately that child has the right at age 18 to head back to their bio family. My job is to be a cheerleader and celebrate their life in which ever direction they ultimately take.

@AdauzoU

3 ай бұрын

​@afosteredlife , thank you for your reply. Could you please explain how your childhood was ruined? We have a daughter and we are planning on fostering a child. How could this negatively impact on her? I would like to learn please and I don't want to make mistakes. Thank you.

This was so hard to hear but it’s what I needed. My heart is pulled toward foster care but my husband is strongly against it. We have 4 biological children who still need a lot of my time and attention. I love how you still encouraged people to consider the “timing” of it all. Perhaps there will be a season in the future where Foster Care is a ministry our family can be unanimously called to. Thank you so much for sharing this Video. God bless you and your family!

@christinea.tennantkrispin9559

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad this was helpful to you. Timing is everything! God bless you as well.

@libbyhyett6625

Жыл бұрын

Yes! This happened to me! My parents fostered. I'm the oldest of their 4 biological kids. It did not end well.

@jimbobs3612

Жыл бұрын

Foster care is not a ministry. Its not the place to force you beliefs on kids.

@puckettsfullofsunshine9981

Жыл бұрын

@@jimbobs3612 Ministry or to Minister does not mean to force one’s beliefs on another. As a verb it’s defined as giving service or aid. Verb Minister Middle English ministren, borrowed from Anglo-French ministrer, borrowed from Latin ministrāre "to act as a servant, serve, supply" (Late Latin, "to serve as an ecclesiastic"), derivative of minister, or servant. I can appreciate your concern about the motives of some Foster parents. I can assure you, if the Lord opened the door for us to foster a child, we would provide a loving and safe environment for them. I would not withhold the Truth of my Faith, but I certainly would not force my beliefs upon anyone. Thank you for your comment! Have a blessed day!

@jimbobs3612

Жыл бұрын

@@puckettsfullofsunshine9981 what if they were gay or trans? Would u support them? By the very definition you put int chat u proved ministry is an ecclesiastic word.

I wish it was this easy. I found out I was pregnant two weeks before we accepted children into our home. We had been waiting a year, so we didn’t want to say no. We already have two biological children as well. Our foster children came with trauma, behavioral issues, low academic status, and very young ages. This has been the hardest year of my life. All I want to do is give them back so I can focus on my own children and newborn. I never knew how emotionally and physically demanding raising someone else’s children would be. She says “be free” but I am trapped. I pray every day for this to get easier and for the guilt to subside, but it doesn’t. So everyday, I put a smile on my face, hugs and kisses for the children, and I am waiting for God to fill me His Spirit so that I can continue. I shouldn’t be watching videos like this, but maybe I’m here for another struggling foster parent who doesn’t want to admit how hard it is. I agree with this video, but I don’t believe in putting yourself first and being free of responsibility. If God called you to start this process, do it. He never said it would be easy. AND my husband and children are onboard; it is me that is struggling. So hopefully, I’ll look back and be so grateful that I didn’t give up.

@missriungu

9 ай бұрын

Your blessed mom

@afosteredlife

8 ай бұрын

I didn’t exactly suggest that it was easy, or that we should put ourselves first and be free of responsibility. If you have watched my other videos, you would see that I have been very open about how hard this calling is. That said, I can see how, though the lens of your experience, it sounded that way. I hear your pain, and I am so sorry for the difficult situation you are in. You wanted to do a beautiful thing, and it is costing you dearly. It is so very hard. And I pray it gets better for you. Your unique situation being what it is, I stand by my perspective that it’s not selfish to focus on your own young kids and give them the chance to grow up in a non-toxic environment and have your attention. Some kids get behind the the calling and are glad to be part of a fostering family. Others feel it ruined their lives when their parents became foster parents. Also, your foster kids know when you resent them, and it’s not fair to them either. It’s important to consider that when considering whether the timing is right.

@trudy-annsmall9600

6 ай бұрын

I pray for extra strength for you🙏

@NovasYouTubeName

2 ай бұрын

@@afosteredlifeperfect response ❤

Great video! I think a lot of folks who are interested in fostering should look into being a CASA if they aren't in a position to provide a home. CASAs are valuable allies for foster youth!

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

I could not agree more!

I love your videos and have watched them and found them helpful at different points in our journey. Thank you. We just adopted two and we have four bios. I feel really good at the point we are at now and feel settled and need the time to focus on all our kids and their needs. That said, once you’ve been apart of fostering I don’t think it ever leaves you but you can definitely support in other ways.

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

I could not have said it better myself. Thank you!

Excellent. I love your honesty. I am not cut out to be a forster parent, but I want to adopt and I watch your channel BECAUSE of your honesty and the way you respect your children.

@christinea.tennantkrispin9559

Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for this feedback. You have been a real encouragement to me!

@Dgh_5667

2 ай бұрын

How is adopting different?

These are such helpful reminders. I will definitely share this video far and wide! "That's my opinion. This is my channel." omg yes, Christy.

@christinea.tennantkrispin9559

Жыл бұрын

💕

Soooo true, if there’s a change in the spouse when fostering, it does affect the children. It also divides the home.

@afosteredlife

Жыл бұрын

Yep. This is not emphasized enough in training and catches many people off guard. Thanks for commenting!

I know someone in their 80’s who was the third oldest of 11 stairstep kids. The dad was a firefighter and the mom was a school teacher. The older kids had to take care of the younger ones and it was a very difficult childhood. To make matters more challenging, they had foster children added to the mix. The woman I know got the brunt of the mothering workload bc, well, you know how family dynamics can be. You have the slackers and the favorites and the ones who get out of doing their fair share. So she stepped up to the plate and did what needed to be done without whining, even if it was a sibling’s responsibility. It was a difficult childhood and she never complains so here I am complaining for her, lol.

Thank you for this. Spouse and I like kids and are well positioned to take some in. I wanted to give back. Guilt was my primary driving factor though and it just didn't seem like a good enough reason. I want to improve people's childhoods, but don't know how. This video is validating that fostering for these reasons isn't the right way for us.

I am a parent, educated, and certified, long long-term experience as a nanny, and daycare provider. I love children, I am creative, resourceful and compassionate. I also am knowledgeable in childhood trauma, mental health, disabilities, self-medicating behavior, and suicide awareness certified. Yet the one barrier is financial. I fully believe that it would be beneficial for the state to focus on child development, love, and healing from layered trauma and place with an aligned parent VS pass over because I don't have the money. They should fund someone with my background and passion to support children in either reunification or lifelong parents

I like what you say but I disagree with you on one point. It is worth quitting a relationship if you cannot be who you really want to be when you are with that person. Why should a "marriage" be more important than myself? I mean, if I cannot be who I really want to be - what is the marriage good for? What I wanna say is: If being a foster parent is your biggest heart wish and your spouse is not in it and not willing to do it, and considering quitting this relationship feels freeing to you, then this could be the right thing to do. I just want to say: You don't have the truth for everyone out there Christy. This might be true for your life, but not for everyone else's 🙂❤️ We all feel in ourselves what is right and what is wrong for OUR life.

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, you have expressed your disagreement with me on this point before. I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on this one. For the record: I agree it’s worth quitting a dating relationship over this. If you are dating someone and know you are called to foster and he or she is not, by all means, end it. I feel differently for couples who are already married. At any rate, thanks for watching!

@ettinakitten5047

7 ай бұрын

If you would rather end the marriage than not foster, that's fair. But definitely end the marriage *first*, sort out the divorce and get settled (especially if you share kids, I'd probably wait at least a year after divorce and make sure the kids have adjusted to the new family structure), and only afterwards get into fostering. If you start fostering while your marriage is failing, it exposes the foster kids to unnecessary stress and conflict and also adds to the stress of any bio kids you might have during an already-stressful time for them.

Fantastic video thank you. So wise and I’m grateful for the honesty and sincerity.

I agree with you that both partners need to be agreeable to (and not coerced or guilted into) becoming foster parents. However, if the two partners disagree about something this important the relationship might not be viable in the long term.

@desertdweller9548

Жыл бұрын

Yup

Ooof -that last reason. I do wonder if I'll be able to handle it. We'll see. Thank you!!

With #6 and feeling overwhelmed and not being able to handle everything, do you think that perhaps the foster parents support system is not working for them and they need more resources? How would one decide this truly isn't what I should do or if it's just a lack of an adequate support system? I hope this makes sense lol.

@afosteredlife

Жыл бұрын

I think that can certainly be the case for some!

You seem like a wonderful and a very sincere person. I really wish my children would have been placed with someone like you. My twins who were taken from me because of compulsory school attendance not being adequate however, they were in kindergarten and there is not a required schooling for kindergarten in my state. By saying that they should have never been taken. They were two happy, kind, well mannered, secure, centered, loving little boys taken after being born at 27.5 weeks premature that I had to nurse until 2 1/2 years old that were so attached to me taken from all they ever knew in their lives not allowed to practice our Christain faith actually put in a non Christain home that did not even allow them to give thanks for their food. They came home scared, hurt, angry, lashing out where they had been spanked told horrible things about their father and I were this foster couple split up their marriage during their fostering them. Basically the male foster parent had major issues with what she was doing to alienate our boys from us and he left. She even got a temporary restraining order against based on false allegations and until it got thrown out of court for the baseless false allegations it was granted wrongly I lost 8 visits with my boys in time that was 8 weeks. We’re she even did more alienating in that time frame the whole situation was and still very much a waking nightmare we cannot ever wake up from. Then to top it all off she refused to return any of my boys belongings literally sending them home with the clothes on their backs they left court in. Even the NICU baby blankets they adored and affectionately named Reddy were kept. This whole thing has psychologically damaged all of us. My husband and I’s 18 year marriage has ended over all of the stress we cannot deal with from it all. I know if my children would have been placed with a stable lady like yourself were reunification was always the goal and should have been a goal also in the foster home but was not! The foster Mom even world tell the boys they were never coming home she was adopting them and told them that their last names were now what foster peoples were and instructed my boys to tell their Dad and I in visitation that they were no longer “Ferroni’s” ,but that their lady name was now “Martin” I think there are good reasons children need good foster homes ours did not and got a very demented lady that couldn’t birth her own children and had her mind set from day one to adopt our un-adoptable boys!! Do you have any advice for me how to get justice for my boys and help them heal! I have in the past 2 years got them back full time on to out church and surrounded them with a loving church family. However, they are suffering from all this ordeal greatly!!

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear about everything you went through. That is just unbelievably tragic. I have heard other instances where children truly should not have been in foster care. And sadly, many foster parents do not embrace reunification. Because some children do end up being adopted, people whose primary goal is to adopt sometimes choose to do that through foster care. But it really confuses the goal of foster care. There are thousands of children who are already legally free and available for adoption, but that is different than taking someone in foster care who is on a plan for reunification and whose parents are working hard to get them back. I tell people whose primary goal is adoption that they should only take children who are legally free for adoption. Sadly, there is not enough screening in place to ensure that is happening. I would suggest that you do the same thing I advise anyone whose children have been through trauma to do: find a trauma informed therapist and help the children work through everything they’ve been through. (I recommend you see a therapist too! Or a Christian counselor who is trauma-informed. I have met several wonderful ones.) Also, surround the children with good, strong relationships. Resilience grows over time, relationships play a key role in resilience. And as your children find themselves in a stable environment, over time, healing will come. Though I’m sure that some scars will remain. I appreciate you reaching out and, again, I grieve with you over everything you went through. I pray you will all find healing from this horrible ordeal. ❤️

@sueblease9143

2 жыл бұрын

God bless u an your family dont stop prayin lord is listenin he lvs you

@elizabethferroni9766

2 жыл бұрын

@@afosteredlife thank you! ❤️

@ettinakitten5047

7 ай бұрын

@@afosteredlife Keep in mind that we only have her side of the story. I have two family members who lost their kids to the foster care system, and to hear them talk, it was totally ridiculous and unfair reasons like the one Elizabeth gave. Meanwhile, both of them offended sexually against me when we were children (them 10+ years older) and other family members have told me stories of their criminal activities, drug use, neglect of their children, and so forth. Many parents whose kids are taken away will misrepresent the reasoning behind it, either deliberately lying or just so deep in denial that they can't acknowledge the reality. I'm not saying every child who is apprehended should've been, but a healthy skepticism is important. Kind of like how many incarcerated prisoners claim they were falsely accused vs how many actually were.

@OvisAriesFarm

7 ай бұрын

@@ettinakitten5047I imagine @afosteredlife has plenty enough experience to respond appropriately to her viewers’ comments. Imho her response was very thoughtful and balanced without being judgy, and if you read carefully she didn’t presume innocence on either side. In fact I thought she negotiated that minefield quite tactfully!

This was extremely helpful thank you!

I’ve been a foster parent for about 5 years now. We never would have done it if we ALL weren’t fully into the process. My bio girls were 11ish and 9ish. Certainly there have been times when things have been challenging and there was some resistance due to behaviors that popped up, but those were pretty short-lived and we always made sure to support all the kids and gave extra attention when necessary. I have a background and special education and we got licensed for more challenging children and I would definitely say don’t sign up for challenging cases unless you really have the depth of knowledge and tools to handle major behaviors and dysregulation. It was something that I always wanted to do from the time that I was a child and had friends whose families fostered. A lot of consideration is necessary and we waited until we owned our own home for stability. I wouldn’t say I did it out of guilt but wanting to give what I never got, and helping a kid live a better life.

Thank you for the video.

Thank you for this. My husband really wants to be a foster parent but I do not. I don't feel that I can handle it.

So so helpful. Thank you.

@afosteredlife

8 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Thank you for this video!

Thank you for this video. My husband and I have always felt called to foster or adopt. However, one of our 7 year old twin continues to mention that he is not ready to foster. We feel debased because we wish both twins would be on board, but like said it will cause more harm than good for our son. We are currently taking the MAPP training class to get license, just in case respite would be something we can do. You mention other ways we can help, could you tell us what are some ways we can? Thank you so much!!

@afosteredlife

Жыл бұрын

I made two videos that you might find helpful! kzread.info/dash/bejne/dGiMksaphpjMk6w.html&feature=share&EKLEiJECCKjOmKnC5IiRIQ

@afosteredlife

Жыл бұрын

And this one: kzread.info/dash/bejne/kZpn0dSafLLbXbA.html&feature=share&EKLEiJECCKjOmKnC5IiRIQ

@libbyhyett6625

Жыл бұрын

I was a biological child of parents who fostered. It's not easy on the biological kids.

I dont have any children I am financially stable about to turn 50 I wonder if im to old to foster to adop. Im not married but we have been living together for 8 years I would consider getting married if not being married is an issue.I know im a very loving and mature person so any child would be loved and financially cared for

I am pondering how this fits in with having biological children, who don’t want more siblings, or the children already born have special or intense needs. Does that mean the parents should not have more children even if they feel called to? We will not have more due to one child’s special needs, but I wonder if the kids just “don’t want more siblings” that’s not up to them. I understand it’s different between bio and foster kids! Just “thinking out loud”. :)❤

I'm considering being a respite carer. I'm finished with classes. Do you feel there is less chance of false allegations being made against you as a respite carer?

@tammaraalexander2284

Жыл бұрын

Yes, but only because you're around kids fewer than a full-time foster parent. If a kid lies, it doesn't matter if you're full-time or respite - the kid is gonna lie. I signed up for weekend respite/emergency placements only because I work full time & had no support to be w/ kids after school (older teens), there's no programs here during summer for older teens (i.e. community ctr, YMCA, recreation ctr). I ended up getting the same girl every weekend because there are soooo many teens that no one wants to take full time so kids spend their days in DSS offices & shower/sleep at group homes (group homes won't take them as they don't have enough staff during day). Even though my kid was weekend only, I fought for her to have at least online school (she'd been out for nearly 4 weeks due to not having placement). DSS eventually agreed to allow her to stay home alone (like while I'm at work) but she doesn't stay alone overnight & now I'm able to keep her long term.

Is respite care a good way to start if you want to be a foster parent?

@ChristyKrispinFuller

5 ай бұрын

Yes!

Phenomenal information. Thank you so much for doing this video. People need to understand both sides of things. It's awesome for people to have perspective. People can still do respite care if they want to be minimally involved. And if they want totally out of the system, they can link up with an active foster care parent and help other ways. I keep waiting for our system to educate biological parents. Starting back again in high school. Basic courses. We cannot sustain the way we're doing things in this country. Mandatory parenting classes before the child is born, for everyone, would be helpful. There's so much information we can all gain from being enlightened. Every parent can look back at different stages and recognize where they could've used more help. Beginning a child's life off on the right step, with quality information is important. We make kids take drivers tests for a reason- A precious child's life is definitely more important. We need to revamp what we're doing. Thank you for always muddling through tough topics! And for boldly saying things that need to be said, accepting other peoples input, and continuing to forge new mindsets. Praying for your family. Thanks for all you do. Praying for the foster care system that chains are broken, peoples eyes are opened, and enlightenment happens.

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

I love your idea about mandatory parenting classes! You make such a good point that we don’t let people drive without an education, yet we expect people to bring a baby home and know what to do. In the olden days, people became parents in the context of community. Nowadays we are so individualistic, and that is problematic sometimes. Thanks for your encouragement.

@idesofmarch71

2 жыл бұрын

"Required" always comes at the point of a gun. Procreation is a human right, and not subject to your authoritarian approval. Maybe you're planning on sterilizing everyone who doesn't fit your ideal? The 1930's called, they'd like all you eugenicist Nazis to come back.

@WRP03608

2 жыл бұрын

@@idesofmarch71 Please don't overreact. You're completely missing the point. I'm all about everybody having rights, I'm simply stating if we give young kids requirements for driving classes we should probably do something about people being better parents since there's a huge problem with neglect and abuse in America. Huge. Please don't miss the point.

@idesofmarch71

2 жыл бұрын

@@WRP03608 I'm one of those abused kids, so I know what the problem is better than most. Just because you have a feeling about what should be done doesn't mean that your proposed solution is either useful or moral. I'm sick of people who know nothing about what it's like to live under oppressive authoritarians constantly proposing more oppressiveness and authoritarianism as if that is the solution. More violence and coercion does not solve the problem of violence and coercion. You can't legislate positive morality. You can only make evil activities illegal in the hope of reducing the behavior. Attempts to legislate positive morality always backfire and are always abusive.--and always harm the weakest among us the most. Maybe learn something about how public policies actually historically work before recommending something disastrous. I mean, seriously, are you gonna sterilize everybody who refuses your "procreation reeducation" camps? YOU are how Nazis get power--by having strong feelings without having any real understanding of the consequences of thoughtlessly acting on those feelings.

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

@@idesofmarch71 wow you really did miss the point. You went from “we make kids take classes to learn to drive, so classes to learn some basic parenting skills should also be mandatory” to violence and oppression and forced sterilization. Big leap. I don’t know what country you’re in, but here in America, we require basic education in various fields. For example, to work in a restaurant, you are required to get a food handler’s permit. (I have one.) A few hours of training in food safety before handling food for public consumption. That just makes sense, I think. So the idea of some basic parenting skills makes sense too. No one is suggesting forced sterilization or oppressing someone’s right to procreate. It was just a logical suggestion based on other, smaller, things we require training for. Are you opposed to requiring driver’s training before someone can operate a car? She was making a good point and you turned it into something it wasn’t. Please don’t do that here.

I was adopted and my adopted mother never love me just use me for money 💰 🤑 💸 💔 😪 😔 I cry I'm so heartbroken 💔 Right now I'm a mother myself O women it hard work I only have one daughter The money is not enough in Montreal Quebec canada 🇨🇦

"I know people who have gotten divorced so they could be a foster parent. I don't think that's a good idea." Actually spit my diet sprite all over my desk. LOL

This video is 💯 correct....

Some foster parents just want to use the foster child for cash. They will use the money to feed themselves and their biological children and not do a thing for the foster child via food, clothing and other basic needs. Some foster parents feel they are doing a child a favor of the child being in their home. If it were not for the money the parents get from the city, they woul not provide housing for a strange foster child and would no doubt scold, beat and have the child sent back to the foster care age cy and comment that the biological parents gave them up and nobody in gods creation would adopt them in any shape, form or manner.

But when you say “you have done your part” thats the type of talk that feeds into people doing things out of guilt. Like there is a status quo of charity work every adult has to meet.

Can't there be other ways to help? Like we could get the background checks, finger prints. And be able to mentor the children, but don't have to bring them in the home? I think I would be too emotionally wrapped up. I want to let the kids know there are kind people out there. Maybe we could donate clothes and toys, and books, but not actually have to be guardians. Are there programs like that? Mentality I don't think I could handle it.

@ettinakitten5047

7 ай бұрын

Absolutely! There are respite foster homes that take in kids for only a couple days to give their regular foster parents a break, or you could train to become a CASA or case worker. In addition, there are many volunteer programs that help foster kids (along with other needy kids) that you could get involved with. Personally, I've ended up helping foster kids almost every time I've volunteered for kids' programs, regardless of whether the program was aimed at foster kids or not. Even when I volunteered to be a camp counselor for a camp for LGBTQ+ kids and allies, half of the attendees were cisgender foster kids, including the kid I was paired with. (It was great because most foster kids in our area have indigenous ancestry and one of the camp coordinators was a two-spirit elder who put on indigenous spiritual activities for the kids.)

Ha wuldnt let me foster my own grankids i will never see them again i miss them

@afosteredlife

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that.

Caring for my younger brother. This dude is so disrespectful and unruly. He won’t listen. Nothing I do is helping. I may have to send him on to foster care

@anthonyescamoz

8 ай бұрын

Half brother and 20+ years apart

@afosteredlife

8 ай бұрын

There is a wonderful program called Positive Parenting Solutions that really saved my parenting. I learned so much from them. Highly recommend. If you want to check them out, here is my affiliate link: www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/amember/aff/go/christykrispin

@ettinakitten5047

7 ай бұрын

I'm assuming something traumatic has happened to lead him to be in your care as opposed to his actual parents' care. Is he in counseling? Have you been educating yourself about how trauma affects children's behavior and how to support traumatized children. A lot of traumatized kids act disrespectful and unruly, not because they're just assholes, but because they're scared, angry and hurt about what happened to them and they don't have the tools to deal with those emotions. And children who have lost or been hurt by caregivers before are often untrusting to their next caregiver because they expect the same thing to happen again.

My partner is very hopeful to foster one day whereas I am not. I’m very aware of my poor mental health and what would be required and sacrificed of me to foster. I can’t do what is necessary to be a bare minimum foster parent. My partner says I can be a great parent one day and she’ll be there with me. But. There’ll be such a disparity between the affection that the kid will suffer and i know myself enough to know I’ll resent the kid for driving a wedge between me and my partner. Again not good for this theoretical kid. So out of respect for the kid’s best interest I just conclude that I shouldn’t be an option. Hopefully after showing, watching and discussing your videos with my partner she can see where my concerns are coming from. Maybe I can propose an option that isn’t fostering but somehow helpful to kids in some way that doesn’t require housing them. Idk. I get disheartened about this subject bc I feel like there’s something wrong with me

@christinea.tennantkrispin9559

Жыл бұрын

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, Karla. You are wise to recognize your limits, and this role is not for everyone. No shame in that whatsoever. I hope you and your partner can find middle ground. All my best to you.

@krissyr3393

Жыл бұрын

Perhaps your partner may be interested in helping the cause of many children needing foster care? Study counselling and start a support group to teach parenting skills so children don't end up needing foster care? Can help generations that way. So many people don't understand the psychology of children, the fact their brains mainly run on Theta until age 8 for example. Simple strategies: How "as soon as you've put the towels in the laundry hamper you can have computer time" tends to have positive result compared to "if you don't put clothes in hamper no computer time". (Double negatives tend to make children (adults too) resist. Just a suggestion. :)

@karlakurucz127

Жыл бұрын

@@krissyr3393 😮 I. Greatly appreciate these comments. Seriously. This is definitely a suggestion that I can bring up amongst others. My partner has such a wonderful loving big heart towards children and I certainly don’t want to be a block in her living her life fully. This gives me hope. Thank you truly.

This is all very fair and good advice

@afosteredlife

8 ай бұрын

I appreciate that!

we were foster carers for 10 years after opening up our farm to teach children and get them away from xboxes and computers,it was the biggest mistake of our lives. Hell on earth this is just a WARNING that's never told in training, remember the children they give you are troubled children they know the system and they know how to use it.we seen mothers booked for one day to see there children only for the organization to turn up the next day then writing on there report the mother never turned up which is BS as we asked the mother only to make the mother look bad, they rubbish mothers daily most mother we met were perfectly normal only they had an argument then the CPS took there children we got warned about getting there hair cut as we had to have there parents permission, you were definitely definitely not allowed to take photos , because they can be used against you as we found out we had a foster child do a runner one day only to make up lies after lies $60,000 later in court costs and just about loosing out biological children, and farm we had our reports changed with out us knowing before it went to court, it was hell on earth when police turn up on your door step over some BS lies we were asked why we had photos on our phone of children, we are one of many here in Australia who have been through the same thing but some of them did loose there biological children.we were told in court 10 years down the track if the foster child says something it will be investigated, if you become a foster carer you must have a Lawyer ready its not if its when because it will happen to you,the foster care system don't give a shit all they care about is dumping children off to carers so they can keep getting the government grant we were lied to daily from the organization, if you are or want to become a foster carer you will be taking a massive risk. unless you have a lawyer on hand , and when false allegations are made about you or any one that visits your house while you are foster caring the organization come take the children and you never hear from the organization again they completely get rid of you as if they have never known you, and the ads you see on TV are just false and misleading

Another reason, do not be a foster parent if you have your own kids. Do not be a foster parent if you are not mentally emotionally equipped to deal with behavior psychological, or emotionally issue if thats something thats going to be too much save the child adition trauma and dont do it. Dont become a foster parent if you need to only focus on your own family your own kids and your own life foster children need a lot of attention and do not need to be placed in an environment when they feep that they are resented, not welcome, and unwanted. Of you dont have time to extend yourself to a foster child dont do it. My comment is obviously a little biased because i was that foster child that no one cared about and was put 100000 percent last to everyone who was in my life because of my situation. My childhood got completely destroyed by my bio parents and foster parents.

@afosteredlife

8 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry for the experiences you had. And I pray you are able to find healing and move forward despite those experiences. 🙏

You shouldn't be a foster parent if you think that toys and no discipline is the right way to raise children!

@TreyWindinal

10 ай бұрын

What do you mean by discipline? That has several connotations and denotations

@mostHumblePersonAlive

5 ай бұрын

This is such a strange comment. No toys? What does that mean?

@jbenz1990

2 ай бұрын

Hahahhaha