Okay, truth time - which one are you doing most?

@roseh1132

5 жыл бұрын

1!

@greggpatten9679

5 жыл бұрын

One way to get over some of these issues is to recognize that you are definitely getting something out of living in these negative behaviors. When you see that you really love to "wait for someone to come and save you", and work through that, then you can move past it. Realizing that there is something better beyond these self-limiting behaviors gives you something to look forward to besides just the negative internal banter that you've been living with.

@arianacarden1683

5 жыл бұрын

I feel like all of them! Where do we start so we can begin to change that?

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

@@HotDavid7 what feeling does it bring up when people say you're gay?

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

@@greggpatten9679 Amen!

No one is coming. No Prince Charming. And, I am not Cinderella. I grew up with the ridiculous idea and expectation that a man would make me happy and keep me safe. But that isn't reality. Because if a man can do that, he can also make you miserable and unsafe. It is entirely up to me to choose the paths that are safe and loving. I am my own Prince Charming!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Amen Mary Ann! And do you see that even the people who are happily married still have problems?

@newearth4071

4 жыл бұрын

Ah, love love love it. %100 agree 🙏🙌💝

@lorianne4608

4 жыл бұрын

I used to think that way too!! Julia is right though, we must realize that many of our fears or thought are not realistic. I always figure out what’s reality and what’s not. Up you are right!! There is no Prince Charming. Very strong of you to be your own Prince Charming!!

@carieyoung1111

4 жыл бұрын

I went through that realization at 33/34...it was life changing for me. I’m now 47 and life has been fantastic despite a divorce - I hold the key and always did :-) Namaste

@a.a.d.6374

4 жыл бұрын

You are supposed to be able to rely on yourself AND if you start a relationship he should be able to protect you in ALL ways.

1. Assuming other people are judging you ; solution - assume people like you 2. Waiting to be Happy - Thinking you'll only be happy "if x" - solution - allow yourself to be happy now! 3. Expecting people to change, or help you (without asking) - solution - ask, and if they don't change, change your expectations. 4. Stopping/Giving when life gets hard - solution - make the most of your life despite 5. You're the Expert and Boss Of You -- no one else is as invested. *I changed the language because I thought it was kind of triggering.*

@cgcrack4672

3 жыл бұрын

thanks brohh

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a decision." I LIVE FOR THIS ❤

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

SO glad that connected with you.

@joeblow9657

4 жыл бұрын

BS if I've ever seen it. Why don't depressed people bust become happy then

@JaysonT1

2 жыл бұрын

@@joeblow9657 Because they don't decide to be happy.

“No one is coming to save you” has become the best advice I’ve heard in ages.

I have never listened to another therapist that made as much sense as you. I have watched and absorbed many of your videos. Your logic is healing! Thanks for all of that.

@mikeyyoyo6464

4 жыл бұрын

willman100 this is the comment I was looking for I found this channel yesterday & watched a few videos expecting to find the BS after a while but no, all I see is complete genuine balls out sense so I thought I'd check out the comments & bang there you are about 4 comments in👍 thanks for confirming my feelings & saving me searching 👍

@seagalindo6336

4 жыл бұрын

I agree. Thank you. Its great to hear a progressive therapist who can connect with people who know exactly what she's talking about> And, You feel good while listening.

@lindagiotis4187

4 жыл бұрын

@@mikeyyoyo6464 ⁵hirytry a l UK555t5U5⁵55K55 ry ise rit5y and5rye 5 555etdd555 5 is5 5⁵55ot ryetdd 5 ry>j0j9t6mS55 r55yryeet trye5he asehn55⅚5 thede5 55⅚ the5jphhhh 5p5 rye5

In response to 12:22. Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

And more resilient!

@tanchingy4881

4 жыл бұрын

If it does not kill you, it makes you stronger..something like that..

“No one is coming to do it for you, to fix you, to save you.” This is so true and one I spent years denying despite being told something similar many years ago. Once you realize this you can own your power and make things happen for yourself. It isn’t easy but it feels so much better than waiting for others (who, as you say in the video, aren’t nearly as invested in your life as you are) to do it for you. The best freedom is to take responsibility for your self, your feelings, your actions, the direction your life is going. Lead yourself. Look deeply, look and see - don’t mind read. In a very real sense, I think we can say someone is coming and that someone is you (i.e. yourself, I, me). That is what has been missing - self-love, self-care, self-direction. I’ve been looking outside, scared to death of what someone might be thinking, knocked out of the seat of my own consciousness, waiting to be restored to my place within myself. It’s up to me. Yes. Such a great video. These are the best ones I’ve seen on KZread and they have been very helpful to me. Thank you, Julia.

@mautse7120

4 жыл бұрын

Richard Patik do you think iT may have something to do with school? We are trained to listen and to confirm to someone else, a leader, or a peer-leader, or the stuff the state lays up on us. In case of the leaders, when they’re good ones, that’s super ok, but when they’re negative ones, oh dear. In my experience as teacher, there are as many or even more classes with a negative leader, than there are with a positive one. Or maybe I am biased? I wish there could be some research done on this topic. Or does it exist? JuliaKristina? I think it might be due to what I think of as a fact, that most kids don’t like to go to school. I’m talking mostly teenagers. And so the sphere is negative to begin with.

"Flinging mud from the cheap seats" is an excellent way to describe gossips and all round trouble makers. Loved that.

Must work on mind reading. Ruined a lot of good relationships this way.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

It's a tricky one! I definitely used to struggle with it too, so it is possible to break that bad habit.

@vesnadjordjevic28

5 жыл бұрын

I never do this.. I remember one episode from "x files" agent Molder n Scaly..someone said"stupidest thing that most ppl do is thinking what other person is thinking.." I never bother with someone else's thoughts(what he was thinking) its not important..sometimes what person say its not important ether.. What IS important is our one thoughts n direction of them, directing them in proper way..in constructive way..

No one is coming is definitely hard to accept

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

I hear you!

@tanchingy4881

4 жыл бұрын

how about,why should anyone?what abt ,does anybody owe us to come? Hardcore,huh?

@lorianne4608

4 жыл бұрын

It is very hard to accept. Life is hard! I’ve always been waiting for life to be good. I understand that only I can change my life and be happy. I must find the strength to improve my life and so far I sold my house and moved into a little condo. This is much easier for me to manage. I’ve accomplished this. It was hard. But now I’m in my own home and I have the power over my own being. I am working on being mindful and grateful. Thank you Doctor Kristina!!!

“No one is coming”....(sound of crickets)hmmm well I better just get on with taking care of myself! 😂. Nothing like a good ol slap of reality! Thank you soooo much! Love your channel!👏💕

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Super devastating and super empowering all at the same time - right?

@cherbug1197

5 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling it is! Leaves no choice but to take action for yourself.

@vesnadjordjevic28

5 жыл бұрын

I find it both... but first hurt very much.

@savvylewinski4762

5 жыл бұрын

On 1 hand incredibly scary & abandoned w/ freedom, on the other no one is "North Korea" to me & paranoia of a death sentence. For me, both.

@savvylewinski4762

4 жыл бұрын

@@mermaidlifeonearth I thank you for typing, "if you believe in god" 1st, quite respectful! 🤗😁🤙🤝I'm working on this but, doesn't happen in short time.

Thank you for your wisdom. "Nobody is coming", strangely made me feel I had permission to move forward without having to wait.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

YES you DO Clinton! You don't have to wait for anyone or anything. GO!

@clintonrosen

5 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah Julia, I listen to your videos every morning in the gym. How do I learn more about your program?

No one is coming to do it for you. Liberating Liberating. Never thought of it that way. Thanks for all your knowledge and help

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Really grateful it connected Stevie.

@savvylewinski4762

5 жыл бұрын

My dad told me this years ago when I was in hs or early 20s but, he's ludicrously blunt & realistic. @ the time, too much. I hear this from this kind speaking lady & I will get there. I'm still not ready but, @ 27 I'm starting to mature.

Oh yes, happiness is a decision, not a destination. So good!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Big one, right?

@888merry

4 жыл бұрын

Random reply from a stranger selecting people at random. 😉 Remember that this world is a wonderful world and that you have great potential. You are stronger than you can imagine. Never settle in this life. Go for your wildest dreams and you can achieve them. Piece, joy, happiness and love can be yours if you allow them into your life. Keep going you wonderful soul. ❤️

Happiness (as opposed to peacefulness and contentedness) is a fleeting thing at the best of times and I think people tend to chase it too hard. I find the best way to deal with those ups and downs is to focus on living in the present and commit yourself to practicing it. Gratitude for what most people consider the basic things in life ie/ a roof over your head, a warm place to sleep, food to eat, love and just the fact that you're still alive is really what counts imo....so I remind myself of that every time I start questioning my 'happiness'. Rather than tossing a ball over my shoulder for my dog while I'm sitting in front of the computer, I take time to engage with him, to really see his excitement and playfulness, far away from screens... and as a result, we both walk away so much happier and appreciative. I take time to have face to face conversations with friends at least once a week. Some people might look at my quiet lifestyle here in the Gulf Islands as "oh my, that poor girl, she's all alone...she's 'stuck' in life", but really, it's the opposite. By removing myself from all the mental clutter of my previous, rushed city life, I forced myself to get acquainted with myself, to start asking myself hard, uncomfortable questions...left with no recourse other than to answer those questions honestly. Now those problems are gone, dealt with. What I discovered after doing this, (aside from those basic fundamentals I mentioned earlier), was that everything else in life is just 'unnecessary extras'....just fluff. Thanks for the piece on 'mind reading', I needed that. I've had a couple confusing experiences with neighbours playing games with me (after not getting something from me that they wanted mind you as I'm steadfast on my boundaries these days) that had me working out their motives in my mind. Stupid really, as I can't possibly know for sure what's going on in their mind....and most importantly, as you said, "It. Is. None. Of. My. Business". lol As always, thank you so much for all your life changing insight....it really helps me through my day to day journey :)

@hebahmuhammad8607

5 жыл бұрын

What you said is so relatable! It’s so helpful and beautiful! Keep being amazing and happy! Thanks for your precious words..

@marymaher4036

3 жыл бұрын

@@hebahmuhammad8607 ,I so agree 100% with what you said about previous post;so true and I, too,feel the same.Thanks so much.😃😀

I learned that late in life, that no one is coming... but wow!!! Yesssss it is so liberating!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Right? Glad we're on the same page with this one!

"Happiness is not a destination, it's a Decision " best advise I've ever recieved.

Thank you you are phenomenal that was like a year of therapy saved

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Ha! You're welcome - I'll send my bill in the mail ;-) jk jk.

“There is no rescue boat coming, keep threading water, ride the wave to the shore, and save yourself.” I got off my ass and started to heal when I wrote this to myself. Blessings to all on their personal journey.

Brought some tears so it triggered something. I think I spent years waiting for someone to come and rescue me from life and make everything better. I finally realized I have to do that for myself. Spent a lot of wasted years😩 I do sometimes think others are thinking bad things about me or they don’t like me if I don’t hear from them for a while. I tend to jump to the worst conclusion which I know is ridiculous lol! Thanks for another great video. You’re wise beyond your years.❤️

@savvylewinski4762

5 жыл бұрын

I was & am quietly triggered. Whoever reads this is going to laugh hilariously, I have too. I use to think my life would be better out of the south by marrying a handsome Asian guy who is looking for a wife was going to take me to their hometown while I enjoyed him, his cooking, & make some babies. I'm starting to mature @ 27 & realized the guy might come from a southeast Asian country that disrespects women, he can change negatively, being female I would learn how to cook from his mom & be criticized while being told I'm never enough for her son, the possible kids will be possibly stressed by their father & possibly bullied for being mixed. I learned that is not the way I want my life, I should make my life & not jump into something regretful like my dad did w/my mom. I hope I'm on topic😬...

"No one is coming!!" What perfect words to hear. I am 100% alone in this world now. It's gonna be a challenge I can already tell but I accept.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

You're not alone Pete! You're just the only person who is responsible for your happiness.

@savvylewinski4762

5 жыл бұрын

I agree, a challenge yes, but we have to accept. I'm trying to take the 1st step. I'll meet others along the way.

@junkjunk2493

5 жыл бұрын

me too buddy carry on one day atta time

@ModMINI

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah. You gotta look out for yourself. Make it your duty to make yourself happy, to learn the techniques to do so. Because unhappiness is just bad programming and you just need to learn new programming. Won't happen overnight but the journey itself will be part of the reward.

Valiable message! I actually have come to that conclusion. No one is necessary to keep me afloat...only God I walk with Him. My comfort always lies in praying and reading the Bible.

I LOVE that being HAPPY IS NOT A DESTINATION- IT IS A DECISION!!!

When you said "it's none of your business" it weirdly clicked with me! This is a great video! Keep up the good work!

First time here. I'm genuinely impressed Julia... you hit every nail on every head and framed it in a way for me to deeply understand. Thank you

No one is coming is the best thing I have heard. Wow wow wow. Game changer !!! We got this !!! Love life and succeed!!!!

Everything you said is So liberating I swear I don’t feel as stuck as I most of the time feel! Thanks 🙏🏼

I am soaking this in - excellent talk - thank you, Julia.

The last one was genius! Incredibly liberating but really devastating at the sametime

I just watched this video and you other video on motivation. Thanks for these, they are really great. Keep up the good work!

No one is coming....is a bummer, but so true. Thanks for the much needed reminder.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Powerful one, right Lana? I hear you on it being a bummer at first. I hope it turns to a really empowering one soon!

This is really encouraging for the crisis I am going through. Thank you.

The last one is fantastic! Something that I have recently realized. I am much more content now understanding this concept.

Wooo! Thank you so much for doing this, it helps and you are making the difference you’re aiming for

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Jimmy, seriously. That means the world to me.

I can listen to you all day. I’m crying and happy all at the same time.

Fantastic ! Wonderful, life-changing, wisdom here; thank you as always, Julia!

very clear and beautifully delivered............

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

That means a lot to me Marc. Thanks for taking the time to say so.

love this -- thank you, Julia!

All of these. But the two biggest were the expectations we put on others, and NO One is coming. So good. Thank you, Julia. Eye opener for me.

I so love this, powerful stuff. Thanks Julia!!

I love the idea of happiness being a decision and not a destination. I really needed that today. Thanks!

Thank you a lot for this! 💜😊 It helped

I was following you and observing your videos. It is amazing to see how you are improving your content while keeping it minimalist, black&white, no rework or cutting, it is just amazing. Thanks Julia ! 🤗

I look forward to you videos. Always so helpful. Glad to see you back. 💙💕💙

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

I look forward to seeing your comments Siera- thanks for being here!

Always great stuff when going through a tough time

Oh my gawd these are so good Julia! I've been guilty of all of this at some point in my life. 😆 Fist bump for personal growth! 😂👊🏻

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Ha! Thanks you amazing women, you!

"Flinging mud from the cheap seats" - as a person who thinks heavily in metaphors, I am totally adding that to my mental self-talk library, and not allowing the behavior it describes to infect my outlook. Thank you for that, Julia! And thank you from all of us whose lives you are touching with your spot-on, thoughtful, and caring guidance. Love your heart!

Much love and thanks to you. This resonated so much with me. It's incredible you are creating content like this for free. Please keep doing so. Bless you.

On my way to a better ME! Thank you for your videos!

Thank you for this, Julia!

Expecting someone to come! That statement was beyond liberating. I am struggling with co-dependency and I always had this fantasy that someone was going to come into my life and make it all better. Little did I know. So hearing your statement about this was confirmation and it gave me that extra boost to get me to fight this another day. Thanks Julia!

“Happiness is not a destination. It is a decision.” That was a good one! Thank you.

Thank you beauty for this video ♡ for me I have been through the first one and because of it I fear doing anything in front of people and even I am stressing while eating in front of them

The way you deliver the message is superb! Thank you! I learned a lot.

ALL very good points! !! I look forward to what's next.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Awesome Jasmin - grateful to have you here!

Great video I think everyone can relate to this in some way if they are honest with themselves. Great advice it's never to late to learn. Keep up your great work. Many thanks Xxx 🤗🤗🤗

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

So so glad it connected! Thanks for your kind words.

You are so passionate and inspiring!

You Rock. The truth shall set you free! I can hear this with ease now!! Is this the core struggle??

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

So so glad it connected J Cat!

This is great. Thanks for your videos. They’re always illuminating.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks Debra -that means a lot -so glad you're here!

That last one was definitely both for me. Apart of me sank, but overall I felt myself raise even further. Thank you so much for this eye opening video, you're wonderful ♥️

So true! Thank you for other helpful video ❤️

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Thank YOU for being here!

One of the best gems of KZread. Thank you so much 😍😘

I needed to hear this. Thanks! Enjoy your videos!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Kari, I am so glad this helped! Sending you love and strength on your journey.

Hey Julia, my name is Dakota and I only started watching your videos this past weekend, and I cannot believe how you hit the nail on the head with so many EXACT thoughts I've had and it makes me feel so normal to know I have regular problems and there are solutions for them! So encouraging and thanks for all your time and effort for these videos!

I know what some people think about because of the things that they tell about me behind my back. But what u teach is very important .thanks for your teachings

Hi Julia! Thank you!! Amazingly insightful

Totally need this ..love this! Awesome pep talk! Thankyou!

Thank you for this video. I have been sitting, feeling sorry for myself, waiting for someone to tell me what to do. My life has been difficult. All of it has been to do with decisions I have made at one time or another.

Thank you for making the time to create this video since I can definitely relate to a few of these points currently in my life. I appreciate what you are doing and the friend who recommended me this video as I am currently “stuck” in my life for the time being.

This was a wonderful suggestion about wondering what other are thinking of me. Never thought about it that way and its so true. Thank you so much!

Wow....I can’t deny that I’m guilty of them all. Probably the biggest being mind reading. I often assume something only to find out I was completely and embarrassingly incorrect. I’m so glad I found your channel. Just the fact that you give so much good advice for so many is a comfort. Thank you.

Very liberating. The statement that no one is going to come for us. Thanks

You are speaking to my soul. Truths I need to hear and remind myself every day. Thank you

You are most definitely my favourite self-improvement teacher so far! Sharing all over the place ;) The most important truth for me here.. no one is coming.

Thank you for this Vid. I learned so much about these processes, and how I need to incorporate them into my life. Makes my outlook appear so different. Glad I watched.

I can't even express how much this speaks to me. I never thought much of self sabotaging but holy cow some of this is SO me! Love how this brought more self awareness! Thank you!!

Totally inspiring and liberating full stop! Yes!

Nice touch, recording in B&W.....my X really was waiting for me to screw up and she was very quick to point out my limitations and mistakes.

Thank you so much dr. Julia kristina 🥰

You are amazing 💓 Thank you

Mind reading and assuming that people are thinking negative things about me...it never comes to my mind that someone might be thinking something positive about me. Thank you for this! Your channel is really helpful and your videos are often exactly what I needed to hear :) Keep doing what you're doing. 💗👍

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Bella Vita - really grateful that made some lightbulbs go on. Grateful to have you here!

@oliviascott4780

5 жыл бұрын

I'm guilty of this one

You have really made me think about so much! Thank you!

I do EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THESE🤯. 😰No wonder my life is a mess! Thank you soooo much for sharing!!! I need to watch this video every day.

Thank u, for clarification! I feel like I'm on the rail. I'm remembering but I have almost fallen, awesome!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Really so glad it connected Lori.

So powerful. Thank you 🦄

Loved it. Thank you so much!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! Grateful to have you here.

Love it. Thank you Julia!

Happiness is a decision not a destination!! U are one of my new favorite ppl.

@shannonwolfe3670

5 жыл бұрын

me too, she's a new fave!

No one is coming - this hit me straight in head. I have been watching your videos lately..Julia , I must say.. U say all that I am going through and teach me how to get out of things. Thank you .

I am so, so happy I found your videos. Thank you for what you are doing.

I love it. Spot on. Sometimes you gotta shout it to be heard. 😇

OUCH, to "no one is coming". Truth at all costs though. Subsonciously i was expecting someone to come. Thanks Julia, that was an eye-opener for me.

Can’t hear this information enough…. I absolutely love this video and it is devastating and takes me to what I need to hear when you say no one is coming. I am a shifter since about July 2021 and I need to hear this information over and over again.. until I get it… no one is coming…

Hi,i watched your 'how to stop being a people pleaser' several times and it helped me enormously,thank you, I'm afshin khoshnejad from Iran

I appreciate all of what you said!!I really felt that when you said...you may feel life is too much and hard...but you want to live and have a good life!! Yes it's so true!! Sometimes we feel that our giving up is valid because of what we've been through and are going through, but it is so true, we want to love life and live better( do better for ourselves instead of sabotaging ourselves)!! That woke me up!! Thank you!!

both! thank you so true no one is coming

This video and it's advice has blown my mind, thank you so much

Your video is like a warm light of wisdom. Thank you !!!

Thank you. I needed to hear that.