After 2 years of never showing my frustrations to my LO, I literally went off a few days ago. I couldn’t take the verbal abuse anymore and my patience was beyond thin. It’s so hard to determine what is really them vs. what is the disease.

@mangot589

Жыл бұрын

OMG I just asked her the same on another vid. I feel that’s really them. I’ve seen other friends mom with this, and they’re perfectly nice, because that’s how they were before. I feel like now they can’t control what they say, and it can be pretty hurtful. I always knew my mother was extremely self centered, so that makes it very hard.

@SamSlugg456

Жыл бұрын

The verbal abuse is so hard. I know it’s not my mom anymore but it still cuts deep. She’s out of control and she’s still in the initial stages so she’s relatively self sufficient (at the moment), but she is becoming increasingly hostile towards me. I’ve been staying with her and caring for her but I’ve been having to get hotel rooms a few times a week just to give myself a break. I also have a toddler who lives with me half the time and he’s a walk in the park compared to dealing with my elderly mom. My mom has always been super passive aggressive but now it’s 10x. Yelling, cussing me out, slamming doors over things that don’t matter. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Much love

@stevebarrett3363

Жыл бұрын

You need the patience of Job to look after someone with dementia, and sometimes, that is not enough.

@chessiepique9532

Жыл бұрын

@@stevebarrett3363 I know, right? I'm not a patient person anyway, so UGH.

As a nurse for 40yrs I found it easier not to ask questions (ie do you, did you, what did you ) as it confuses and upsets them when they can’t remember. I would talk about my family, pets, garden, hobbies, sport, make up stuff, just have a nice conversation. You’ll be surprised how they often chat back about their childhoods jobs, family etc Couldn’t agree more with 2 choices, works so well for clothing, food, drinks what you’re going to do etc ( only way to deal with toddlers and younger children as well ) Two of my aunts had dementia, we had loverly chats about flowers and gardening yet they didn’t know who I was any more. Don’t dwell on what they cannot remember, find something they enjoy ie listening to music, looking at a nice picture book, stroking a cat or dog or watching children play. Don’t stop contact just because they forget so much

One of my adult children found you today! I am so grateful! We have just received an official diagnosis for my 78 year old husband although we have been dealing with various stages of this for about 15 years. I have learned so much this afternoon! God bless and keep you for doing this!

I was caring for my dear sister in law and she woke early one morning and wanted to get up. I found it best to grasp the chance as sometimes she didn’t want to get up so I knew it was best to get straight on with her morning routine. I was tired as I was also looking after my brother who had just come out of hospital after a major operation, I rushed to dress myself and then got her to the bathroom. All comfortable, washed and dressed she was sat in front of the mirror while I brushed her hair. She was in her eighties and looked so neat and pretty sat in her nice clean clothes. Suddenly she said my name and said “ your blouse is inside out” I glanced at my dishevelled self in the mirror and had a good laugh. It tickled me to think she was supposed to be the one with dementia .......

@lisas2538

3 жыл бұрын

mistyqqq Aww. Sweet story. Thanks for sharing.

@sherryledwards3687

3 жыл бұрын

B

@fondasharkey-wyatt9944

2 жыл бұрын

I love that story!

@trinetteterry3508

2 жыл бұрын

My mom has said the same thing to me. Thank you for sharing

@mistyqqq

2 жыл бұрын

@@trinetteterry3508 memories to cherish

I’m so grateful......I do all of the above before even hearing this video. Maybe because I am generally a very caring and compassionate person. I can be firm and cheeky...but when it come to my bro who i am caring for, I could never be anything but kind and gentle. He was always an Absolute gentleman.....there’s not an ugly bone in him. Even now, his gentleness shows the man he really is. Drs suggested we give him something to sleep.....I decided against it. He just sits in the lounge, watching tv, no harm to anyone, and when he is ready, he goes to sleep again. We are 3 adults taking care of him, my husband, our caregiver and I.....so I don’t want him medicated to sleep......it makes them totally disorientated.....I’ve seen this in old age homes. Between the 3 of us, we can manage him. Thank you for all your tips. It helps me to see wherever I can improve, to make his life a little more comfortable.🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for this great advice. I feel very very ashamed. My mother has moderate dementia and I've been doing things the very exact opposite of what you just said. I feel terrible and guilty but I'm so dead physically with all the responsibilities that I've resorted to self pity. She, poor thing, bears the brunt of my moanings and impatience. I have to change my ways. Your video was an eye opener. Thank you.

@joannasunday

5 жыл бұрын

I'm in the same boat. I need to do better also.

@mrap1301

4 жыл бұрын

I’ve been looking after my mil and I also feel guilty of being ‘mean’ to her. I too feel same as you do

@echase416

4 жыл бұрын

"When we KNOW better, we can DO better"

@Ashbery85

4 жыл бұрын

Sending you so much love and appreciation. I am taking care of my dying mother and have made so many mistakes. Deep down I know our mothers know we do everything with love 💖

@grfegrfe1069

4 жыл бұрын

@@Ashbery85 God bless you and your family and all reading this. Remain strong.

re: facial expressions. I was taught in nursing school to wear a mask if you have to clean up a poop or vomit accident. It can prevent the person from seeing our possible (unconscious) facial expression. ;)

@shannoncase3305

2 жыл бұрын

This is absolutely true..

@boboneill6554

2 жыл бұрын

Initial squeamishness passes. It’s a matter of attitude. It’s not a big issue if you do not make it one.

@007nadineL

Жыл бұрын

@@boboneill6554 don't police other people's reactions and experiences pls

Thank you so much! I learned a lot today. My husband has been slowly declining and I forget he can’t understand what I am saying a lot of times. Sometimes I just get angry. Now I am learning it is going to take more patience. Thank you

#3 I have that habit of asking mom what she wants to eat. Sometimes I just tell her what I am preparing, and then sometimes she won't eat. I will give her 2 choices whenever possible.

This whole series of videos are so helpful. Thank you very much for continuing this valuable work.

Who would give this a thumbs down? This was so helpful. Thank you so much. Good job.

My dad had vascular Dementia and died in Feb 2019. I wish i had known of this resource when i needed this. the Speaker on this video is 100% accurate with her advice for this topic. it's really good advice and seen several of these. This deserves deep thanks from myself for helping me to cope with assimilation g my experiences with this cruel disease.

@jinde75

2 жыл бұрын

I am sorry that you lost your dad. And that you didn't have the information from this video. My dad has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. We don't live in tbe same country and because of the pandemic I haven't seen him much. I hope I stil have time enough to use these tips.

Thanks for covering these very difficult topics. Dementia is such a horrible thing to deal with.

This afternoon my wife took her clothes off at 3pm, and was crying in the bed. I gathered that she was upset with herself. Told her that she has a terrible disease, that she is brave, and that it's not her fault if bad thiungs happen. Told her several times that I love her. It's a challenge to know whether to talk directly about her dementia or to avoid the subject.

@justsayin5609

3 жыл бұрын

She will likely resist any suggestion of dementia and become defensive and suspicious. Speak with love, empathy and to the behaviours, but expect denial. Her memory will not allow her to absorb/recall the conversation, so expect to have it again.

@tamaraterrymusic2656

2 жыл бұрын

You are so wonderful

@producerlinda7109

2 жыл бұрын

I struggle with that too 🙋🏼‍♀️ you’re doing great.

@maraeawhite7385

2 жыл бұрын

This is so educational, and it's so good to know, learn't a lot. Thank you.

@gracyjenkinscharles3930

2 жыл бұрын

I just LOVE these articles. Want to get more information. My husband is having difficult journey, . One day I became so upset over something he was doing,; He quietly asked (do you think that I would be this way if I could help it?) Since that day, everything reminds me of how he must feel,not being in CONTROL. . GjC

Thank you. Your videos are just what I need. My husband has Late Onset Alzheimer’s. I am trying to keep calm and have noticed short sentences are better than long ones.

I was crying from frustration and your video popped up. Your knowledge is helping me. I'm so grateful to you. Thank you for posting assistance/suggestions to help our loved ones suffering from dementia.

This site is a true gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to read more tomorrow

Thank you so much! My mother is has moderate dementia. She asked me to help her with her check book. Using your tips will help me to communicate in a way that is best for her. May God richly bless your work!

When my loved one with dementia is upset because they are frustrated - we say "we can do this together" (figure out what they want to say or what they want to do etc) we mention needs we have like "oh dear I need help finding my keys - hmm now where did I put those?" They might say "on the table" Thank you for your help now let's....together. Let's get dressed or let's find ... They smile because they have helped and are more open and happy about us helping them.

You are an amazing help to me… i share you with everyone i know!!!

i am from india , only 5 months before I came to know my mother got dementia . my brother tourcher a lot to my mother by filling cases on her since then she was depressed . my sister took her jewels . I am the only care taker . I am jobless need more videos like this

@farzanaahmed9920

2 ай бұрын

You keep on looking after her dear brother, and see how Allah blesses you here and in akhirah. Ameen

I’m really glad I found your KZread channel.

I am glad I came across this video. My younger brother, who just turned 60, was diagnosed with dementia a year ago, and it is getting worse by the month. Fortunately we live together so I am helping him. These tips will help because I was getting frustrated too and will use your tips in coping with a family member with dementia. So much is involved in caring for him. Fortunately I retired a month before he was diagnosed with dementia, so it makes it a little easier. I need to learn to be patient with him as well.

Thank you Natalie! I am a big fan and have gotten lots of valuable advice through watching all of your videos through our journey with dementia. This one is a great "reminder" to all of us. The trouble I have is that we have a few long time friends who have known my mother in law (who lives with us) for several years and but don't visit often enough to grasp her decline. One lady in particular who I know means well, came by for a visit recently and her greeting went something like this, "Hello Pat! How are you? Do you remember me?" Protective me just about smacked her! It created a perfect example of the embarrassment you have described. I stepped in and diffused the situation by saying, "Hello Jan! We are so happy you could stop by aren't we Pat?" I did take Jan aside later in private and asked her not to question Pat's memory which is now non existent. She was quite shocked and hurt by my request. Not everyone will be understanding but my mother in law's feelings come first right now! L

@donnamurray2528

10 ай бұрын

😢😂😅

Thank you for the video. I had a break down yesterday. I broke down when nobody around. I started feeling really guilty because I can be mean sometimes to my dad. My patients get so thin sometimes. I am also taking care of a 3 year old son all by myself, without his mother or any of his grandparents. I broke down and was telling myself how horrible of a person I am, how I’m a bad son and bad dad…. I needed to hear this video

@DementiaCareblazers

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome, I know you can do it every day is another day. Be strong to your loved one. 💞 💞

@dnice3473

Жыл бұрын

@@DementiaCareblazers thank you

@007nadineL

Жыл бұрын

God bless you. I wish I could give you free babysitting for yr son

Thank God for you and the work you do 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

So glad I found your videos. There are amazing!

Dr Natali thank you these are great tips

Thank you for this very simple but extremely helpful video!

I work in the healthcare field and find these videos of Dr.Edmonds very helpful in my line of work.

@DementiaCareblazers

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words, Gregory!

This video is filled with love......

I really enjoy these videos oh, and I appreciate all the topics that you cover and tips that you provide. Thank you everyone for your comments, it's great to have such an open and sharing support . The videos have reminded me of how loving caring and patient is so important in the care of your loved one. I had this when I first started caring for my mother, it's only been 6 months, and I did find myself sometimes being frustrated but always kept my voice calm and always respected her

I am so happy i found these videos. So helpful. Thank you.

Thank you for your information. I find it very helpful and appreciate your work.

Great video for the person who is finding out what to do with their Loved one. Thks.

Some really good advice there. Thank you for sharing

Thank you for this video. It was so helpful and had lots of practical ways to make everyday life better. i shared it with my sister whose husband has Alzeimer's.

Thank you so much. I found your video very helpful and I plan on using your information to talk with my sister. I hope you keep up making these videos as you do a wonderful job.

Very helpful! Thanks

So thankful I have find you.Your wisdom and knowledge worth more than gold ❤

Thanks this was very informative and educational.

Appreciate this sharing. Thanks

Your videos have helped me a ton when it comes to dealing with my Mom who has moderate dementia...I really appreciate it!! Thanks!! 😊👍👍👍

I have seen so many of your videos. Just now seeing this one today. WOW! Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge on KZread. I am learning a lot from you, as well as enjoying the comments others are sharing. Carry on and keep up the good work. There are many stars in your crown! And you are doing all of this while also having to deal with what your Dad is currently going through. God bless you!

Thank you so much for all you do. I found you today and wish I had 3 years ago . My mom is 93 (July 8th 2020) she has moved 4 times in less than a year ... her choice .. the last move from independent living to assisted living ... she has had mild cognitive for a few years and now moderate . This will help me tremendously. Thank you 🙏

On the contrary. Thank you. Great advice. I’m a caretaker for dad and mom. I really needed that advice. I appreciate your video. I pray for your continuous knowledge. 🙏

Thank you so much for this advice. I am a new Careblazer. I care for elderly gentleman with dementia. This tips are going to help us to get along a lot better.

I am using some of these tips for Primary Progressive Aphasia with my mother in-law. I am trying to teach the rest of the ❤family and I am in over my head but we all love her so much, she deserves the best we can do.🦋 Thank you for all the tips.

Thankyou for these fairly simple steps to help the one you love keep feeling good about themselves.

Finally, there is something I found that helps dementia greatly! It’s the greatest blessing ever! 👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏼

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS VERY INFORMATIVE INFORMATION!

Dr Natalie very helpful video thank you

Great video, actually, this is a perfect and helpful class.

So thankful for your chanel I'm a 57 year old male caring for a 83 year young mother and I totally lost all patience this weekend and actual if I can mantain my level of patience ,I actually do quit well ,but thanks for your very practical approach it is helping me immensly,thank you so much.

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Gathering all information I need in case if it happens to a loved one🌸 never know when so better be prepared

First of all, I LOVE my father! He has Lewy Body Dementia. Communication is tricky. I am so pleased you mentioned hearing. When Lewy starts to get suspicious and retaliates to its surroundings, things can get scary. My father was always an imposing figure, and though now he weighs as much as I do he can still be intimidating, perhaps even more so as he grapples with the fight/flight aspects of the disease. Smiling is sometimes the worst thing we can do. So is not smiling. He will accuse us of "smirking," then will follow up on our modifications based on his initial complaint, by negatively describing the prevailing heaviness of the household's environment. Laughter and speech are among the first things we throw out the window when Lewy rears its ugly head. And then he/we suffer the consequences for that, too. Lewy is seldom satisfied. We walk a thin line. Going out is pretty impossible if we don't want to arouse the more terrifying features of the disease, yet staying home contributes to his belief that he is trapped. I appreciate your tips, your kind and caring demeanor. You are right when you say that everyone is different in their disease and we will only know what works through trial and error, but guidelines are helpful. Indeed, I would be nowhere without them. Remembering that Dad is the first victim in this nightmare, that he didn't choose this disease, that he is terrified by his knowledge of it when he remembers ("If I could screw the top of my head off and scoop out my brains, I would."), that this is the final phase of his life on earth--these things keep me going back for more. I ask myself, is it worth it? I think of how Dad is still in there, that he is drowning in the tricks Lewy Body plays on him day in and day out. Is it hard? Yes! Impossible even! But also, too, yes! It is worth it.

@lynnshepard7485

2 жыл бұрын

LBD is so difficult to understand and to try to adjust to, isn’t it? I have hired a group of caregivers to help me. The group leader continues to talk to me-and him-about how uncooperative my dad is. I’ve shared some of Dr Natalie’s videos with the leader, but nothing’s changed, other than her giving me notice that they are going to discontinue service. Dad’s on hospice, and I’m moving him into memory care at the end of this week. Today is a very emotional day.

@marycallahan6764

Жыл бұрын

My husband has Parkinson's , Lewy Body Dementia and has lost his voice .

@dianahummel1874

3 ай бұрын

My heart goes out to you. You must be so strong. This all sounds so frightening. I just began looking into information on dementia because my 68 yr old husband is showing signs. I'm terrified. Prayers for you and your family. 🤍

That was very helpful . Thanks!

Thank you. Very useful!!

Thank you for all your advice. I’m trying to learn as much as possible.

Thank you for these tips, very helpful !!

Thanks for these videos. Taking care of my aunt. She is showing early signs.

Very helpful, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. : )

THANKS for Prime directives..

Thank you very much! I'm looking after my elderly father with dementia and being by myself it's a challenge! Your tips are wonderful! 👍

@Catmoore60

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you are doing ok. My sister and I are sharing the care of my mom, and we are both sometimes overwhelmed. You have my respect and I admire your courage and fortitude.

Thankyou, such good reminders, much needed when sometimes the exhaustion might get the best of us, the last tip; so important!!!

This video is so excellent, wise and helpful. And the speaker is so lovely - and: where did you have those dog pictures painted? I love that style! Did you paint them yourself, I wonder, or a friend/relative? They're great! Not to deflect. I'm in a caregiver course and they included this video and it is EXCELLENT, I really appreciate it. (For example: the part about the person remembering the way they're made to Feel: I have heard that before, and it's great advice to be reminded of. Thank you.)

Thank you so much for your content, this is great work.

Thank you sharing great tips. I am going to use them to help with my dad.

Thank you sooooo much, your advice is simple, clear, well explained and truly helping me navigate this process in a much happier, less stressful state. I don't feel so incompetent now and these tips are invaluable to me and my family. You're an amazing lady, thank you!! 🌹💐😇

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad you are finding the videos helpful, Gillian! I'll be hosting a free live care class in a few weeks where I share specific ways to lower dementia caregiver stress. If you are available, you may also find that helpful. You can check out the days/times here: www.careblazers.com/careclass

Fabulous. Thank you.

Thank you so much. This is all so frightening. We are too young for this ... but here we are.

@donaldborem812

4 жыл бұрын

I am not sure my 87 years old wife has dementia. She flatly refuses to go to the Dr. (for any reason). She has several symptoms which she displays on some days, and other days she is very close to normal. She loves to watch movies but can't remember the characters, she asks the date and the day several times a day, she blames me for hiding things that she has misplaced daily, These are just a few of what she does almost daily. My main problem is, how do I get her to the Dr, and if I do are there any meds that can help her? Thank you so much for any advice you can offer. God Bless you for writing your column.

Thank you so much for giving tips on all the things I do wrong with my mum. I realised it too late every time, but that also comes from the fact that we are in the early stages so sometimes I forget that she can't keep up. I also asked the wrong questions every week about what she wants to eat for dinner (frustration, panic) where she wants to go, from now on I will give her two options to choose from and if she is capable she comes up with someting herself. I understand now that in our values and norms it is in my world reasonable but not in hers, so I will do my best to correct myself and change that. Thank you so much again your videos are really acknowledging, affirming, and dealing with those question marks and difficult communication. Also I think I can thank you on behalf of my mother (81), who is not diagnosed but shows signs of dementia.

This was a great video. The 5 tips are just what I needed to help communicate with my LO. Thanks Dr. N.!

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

She was very easy to follow.

Excellent advice Natali. What you say works.

thanks for this video... your videos helped me a lot how to communicate with my mom with advance stage dementia.

Great tips!

Thank you. Very helpful for me

So helpfull!

Thank you for this.

Wonderful tips! Thank you!

@DementiaCareblazers

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

I so much appreciate the succinct, clear, sound advice.

Informative!

Thanks for your useful information that help me to handle my mom she is Alzheimer dementia patient. I would like to know more about it..

Thank you for sharing

Trying 2 Get More Understanding Of Alzheimer’s!...As, My Dad Has It!! ThankU!

Number 5 is a good reminder for me😊

Thank you sooo much.

My sister found your website. Very good information in dealing with our mom who has dementia and says off the wall stuff.

You have helped so much❤️🇨🇦

Thank you for your helpful tips.

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it

Thank you soooooo much!

I am in the USA and my dement mother in a home in Sweden - I haven’t talked to a dr due to time difference. But listening to your advice here verify - I am doing something right. I talk calmly I try to have a “smile” in my voice. Our conversations are very light about food, the weather, how she feels, what’s she’s done. It’s extremely frustrating especially since I was going to visit in September but due to covid - my trip is cancelled. I just pray she will stay well until next May

@kimgiles1723

4 жыл бұрын

I pray that you will get to visit her before too long. My Mum is only 20 minutes drive away from me in a care home and I find it hard with this current virus situation preventing us from visiting so I can only imagine how you feel. We are allowed to do window visits just now but can’t go inside the care home. We send photo cards through the post to remind her of us and deliver flowers and small gifts of candy. We do video type calls and regular phone calls. She sometimes says very little but we know she is listening.

@boboneill6554

2 жыл бұрын

Video calls put a smile on my partner’s face. His family lives abroad.

Thank you

My Dad has dementia we always frustrated with him, now we know what to do.. THANK YOU for the tips and GOD Bless You... 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

You are a very caring person

I appreciate this video and the careblazer guide so much! I wish I'd had it years ago. My husband doesn't have dementia, but he's schizophrenic, and most of the tools apply to us here too. Thanks Dr. Edmonds!

Thank you 🙏

thanks

I was on utube and ran across your video. My mom has dementia she was just diagnosed last July with it. I just realized some of the things you said I was doing. I’ll have to change some of the ways I talk with my mom. Some days I see my mom and some days not. It breaks my heart that she is going through this. I will always be there for my mom no matter what. I just hate the day when she doesn’t know or recognize me. That is my worst fear….. Thank you for the video……

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope you are surrounded with love and support.