5 Signs Of Narcissists Losing Their Moral Compass

Basic morality is necessary for any type of relationship. Dr. Les Carter explains how the defining features of narcissism indicate a lack of an inner moral compass, then he highlights five of the most dominant indicators of their poorly conceived values and standards.
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Пікірлер: 237

  • @patg.7192
    @patg.7192Ай бұрын

    They didn't lose a moral compass. They never had it to begin with! 😮

  • @angelablaney4575

    @angelablaney4575

    Ай бұрын

    The fact that narcs choose their evil behaviour is that they are they're own worst enemy, and create hell for themselves and others! It makes no sense! When they have the chance to change with a loving relationship and they destroy over and over again, it's difficult to have sympathy!! They don't care that their partners might have had a more painful childhood! No, they're the only victims!?? Instead of learning that genuine caring is a positive and useful attribute they hurt and damage to the full! If you're in a narc relationship, leave because things only get worse!! They'd watch you die and 'get off' on it and probably photo your death and keep it as a memento!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @carmenjacinto4426

    @carmenjacinto4426

    Ай бұрын

    Ding ding ding🛎😅

  • @jeanettecook1088

    @jeanettecook1088

    Ай бұрын

    That would be my comment too. 🎉

  • @CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger

    @CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger

    Ай бұрын

    😲! It’s a broken compass!

  • @lorrainefrasier4096

    @lorrainefrasier4096

    Ай бұрын

    Exactly

  • @l.5832
    @l.5832Ай бұрын

    They don't think "lies of omission" are lies.....

  • @redpilljesus

    @redpilljesus

    Ай бұрын

    How nice it would be if she stopped at _only_ omission.

  • @korab.23

    @korab.23

    Ай бұрын

    Yes!! I had this argument MANY times and always had to just walk away from it.

  • @jamiemahoney7766

    @jamiemahoney7766

    16 күн бұрын

    🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

  • @jenmayo777
    @jenmayo777Ай бұрын

    "A narcissist's self-absorption trumps their morality. Where as a healthy individual, your morality trumps self-absorption." Hits the nail right on the head! Wraps it all up in this one statement.

  • @franken-pattern

    @franken-pattern

    Ай бұрын

    Truth!

  • @tommyparkerparker

    @tommyparkerparker

    Ай бұрын

    Yes it “Trumps” it.

  • @Mehmet-rw9bu
    @Mehmet-rw9buАй бұрын

    Everything is perrectly fine as long as they get exactly what they want. But woe betide you if there is even the slightest deviation from their unrealistic expectations of you.

  • @avanellehansen4525

    @avanellehansen4525

    Ай бұрын

    They don't like to be told "no".

  • @denisaadamcova3591
    @denisaadamcova3591Ай бұрын

    They are liars. You dont need liars in your life. Dont let them in.

  • @marysuzannajayne1340

    @marysuzannajayne1340

    26 күн бұрын

    I’m finally getting that and I’m almost 60!!!

  • @edilipelis6434
    @edilipelis6434Ай бұрын

    The have no moral compass, only Ego driven selfish compass.

  • @jsf8145

    @jsf8145

    Ай бұрын

    Satan is The Egotist. 2 Timothy 3 💯 Isaiah 53

  • @know973
    @know973Ай бұрын

    When i first started seeking information about narcissistic people, i had empathy for them because of their pain in childhood. Now, i have very little empathy for them. I was severely abused in childhood and throughout my life. I dont think it's my inherent right to destroy other people! I dont see people as things to get what i want. I love and care for people. I now believe they are evil. The Bible says God gives us free will. He sets before us life and death, so we may CHOOSE. They choose evil every time.

  • @henrykujawa4427

    @henrykujawa4427

    Ай бұрын

    I had a lot of pain in childhood-- and beyond. I never became a NARC. It's not an excuse!

  • @carmenjacinto4426

    @carmenjacinto4426

    Ай бұрын

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @mday3821

    @mday3821

    Ай бұрын

    🫂🙏❤️

  • @surlif

    @surlif

    Ай бұрын

    @@Anonymous-gn3ly I am so sorry all that happened to you!!! Sending caring thoughts of love and comfort.

  • @clarecollins2547

    @clarecollins2547

    Ай бұрын

    ⁠im so sorry.. How awful. 😢😢😢😢😢

  • @lindamarcola1324
    @lindamarcola1324Ай бұрын

    They expect it from you but not themselves

  • @spacegirl226

    @spacegirl226

    Ай бұрын

    Yes! I hate this double standard so much!

  • @lindamarcola1324

    @lindamarcola1324

    Ай бұрын

    @spacegirl226 I am a practicing Christian and when he told me he cheated I started calling her his whore. He looked at me and said I can't believe you talk like that. ????? Here is a man that cursed with curse words! What?!

  • @jeankipper6954

    @jeankipper6954

    Ай бұрын

    You are kind. They DEMAND it, and see no valid reason whatever for noncompliance. Geez.

  • @cazjay017

    @cazjay017

    Ай бұрын

    Yes exactly, two sets of rules…

  • @tommyparkerparker

    @tommyparkerparker

    Ай бұрын

    They want you to respect them but yet they treat you badly.

  • @ProvokatorRJ
    @ProvokatorRJАй бұрын

    A message for the narcissists: " You can fool some people sometimes but you can't fool all the people all the time. So now we see the light..."

  • @beyourowntruelove
    @beyourowntrueloveАй бұрын

    If you didn’t specifically ask the perfect question… they do not disclose anything

  • @wendyapfeldorf2120
    @wendyapfeldorf2120Ай бұрын

    The golden child/budding narcissist is conditioned by their narcissistic caregiver(s) to not have a moral compass. The unspoken dynamic is “I don’t call you out; you don’t call me out.” The golden child who violates society’s rules does not receive even kindly discipline for their infractions, leading to a sense of entitlement. The narcissistic caregiver(s) is/are concerned with whether or not another authority figure has knowledge of such an infraction, and how that knowledge might affect the family. This sends a message to the golden child/budding narcissist that they are entitled to do as they please, that society’s rules are for the less entitled and that they must keep an eye out for who is watching because image is everything.

  • @mariehughey5390
    @mariehughey5390Ай бұрын

    Narcissists use and hurt without remorse and it becomes somewhat predictable. The thing that hurts most is the people who enable them and become their surrogates. They do and say and act similar. Do they feel like garbage afterwards? It does not seem like it. Do they apologize? Nope.

  • @jeffjohnsonfutdoc

    @jeffjohnsonfutdoc

    Ай бұрын

    Totally agree...

  • @samscarletta7433

    @samscarletta7433

    Ай бұрын

    Me too (Agree) 🎯

  • @victoriabachlotte3321
    @victoriabachlotte3321Ай бұрын

    You have to get to a place of acceptance. They are not going to change. Ever. It IS the worst case scenarios that you can imagine. Accept reality. It isnt going to end.

  • @user-iq4jh8jo3o
    @user-iq4jh8jo3oАй бұрын

    Their compass points towards whatever makes them look good or gets them off the hook. The rest is irrelevant!

  • @RatedArggg
    @RatedArgggАй бұрын

    They'll criticize your morals, and tell you that they're above reproach. But they're moral when it suits them, and only then.

  • @lyndabrown1626
    @lyndabrown1626Ай бұрын

    I remember this one time where I was 'reacting' to the narcissist's tactics on that particular day and screamed at him that he had no morals for saying what he had just said, and he simply looked at me with a slight smile and shrugged his shoulders...like he agreed and didn't care. They know they have no morals and really don't care...period.

  • @henrykujawa4427

    @henrykujawa4427

    Ай бұрын

    He was HAPPY that he got you pissed off. He was ENJOYING it.

  • @know973

    @know973

    Ай бұрын

    @@henrykujawa4427 Right, they live for conflict and confusion.

  • @CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger

    @CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger

    Ай бұрын

    They’re bowling balls ricocheting across lanes. 😯😬😁😆

  • @RRthee1

    @RRthee1

    Ай бұрын

    Oh yeah, the smirk as they're getting off on your emotional misery is disgusting.

  • @lyndabrown1626

    @lyndabrown1626

    Ай бұрын

    @@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger 😁👍

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2fАй бұрын

    I want to live in my integrity and have nothing to do with those predatory abusive people. They are intrusive intruders on all fronts of your life possible. Ignoring them and walking your own separate way is the way for me.

  • @THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS
    @THRASHMETALFUNRIFFSАй бұрын

    They're hypocrites, not Humanists

  • @francesbernard2445
    @francesbernard2445Ай бұрын

    In summary: A lot of narcissists go from marriage to marriage while relying on their only excuse called, "We drifted apart." "We drifted apart" or else conducting a smear campaign against their estranged spouse who wants to leave the marriage too while hoping to get treated fairly during the divorce.

  • @know973

    @know973

    Ай бұрын

    It's funny you say this, and I don't just mean peculiar funny. I mean, literally belly laughing funny. My soon to be Ex narcissistic husband is now saying this exact thing. He's going around telling everyone that we just grew apart, and it's hurting him soo badly to make a decision to leave. Bare in mind I left him over a year ago to another state, and we haven't lived under the same roof in a while. I'm just going through the motions. He just wants a new excuse to be difficult and extra.

  • @Mom-277
    @Mom-277Ай бұрын

    My "one more time" has finally been the "last time ". Agreements continue to be broken and with no consequences other than gray rocking. Sad, a relationship with no relationship.

  • @Hatbox948
    @Hatbox948Ай бұрын

    My nex had a moral compass for some things. It was selective. But, when it came to fidelity and family responsibility, his moral compass was dead in the water.

  • @redpilljesus

    @redpilljesus

    Ай бұрын

    I say she has "self-serving ethics". If her reputation can be damaged, she won't do it. Even if doing that thing is the FIX to what they already did wrong.

  • @anonymouscm7270
    @anonymouscm7270Ай бұрын

    Never ever ruminate narcissistic relationships Team Healthy because they consider others as 'Useful Idiot/s', many thanks for reminding the phrase Dr. C.🙏🌷🕊💝🤗

  • @cazjay017
    @cazjay017Ай бұрын

    They are definitely constant schemers. Spot on.

  • @avanellehansen4525

    @avanellehansen4525

    Ай бұрын

    That's scriptural.

  • @elainesmith5313
    @elainesmith5313Ай бұрын

    Their moral compas is set for He'll. With no repentance or conscience in sight! I bid them farewell and just move on. Justice is God's job, not mine. My life now consists of joy and peace of mind ,heart and soul. Love and kindness are my Montra Thanks Dr. C.!😂

  • @know973

    @know973

    Ай бұрын

    Yes, good thoughts. I needed this reminder.

  • @kurtm6345
    @kurtm6345Ай бұрын

    How can they lose what they don't have? They only have the thinly veiled appearance and illusion of a moral compass.

  • @henrykujawa4427
    @henrykujawa4427Ай бұрын

    This morning I was watching a 1954 episode of "SHERLOCK HOLMES", "The Case of the Tyrant's Daughter" (very loosly inspired by "The Problem Of Thor Bridge"). A tyrannical father always had to have everything his way, always had to be the one in control, and he couldn't stand losing that control over his daughter, who was planning to get married. First he harrassed the guy, then he tried to bribe him to leave her. When that didn't work... he COMMITTED SUICIDE in such a way as to make the fiance look guilty of murder! Every word in the story that described the father, I kept thinking, "NARC!" Just before he died, the father told his house-keeper, "I always win-- I ALWAYS WIN!!!" It was terrifying.

  • @stingylizard

    @stingylizard

    Ай бұрын

    Yikes!

  • @know973

    @know973

    Ай бұрын

    Yep, sounds about right. NARCISSIST!

  • @homespace1268

    @homespace1268

    Ай бұрын

    I was watching the movie Sweeney Todd that Tim Burton directed and I felt that the judge was very much a narcissist and his loyal assistant Beadle was his flying monkey doing his dirty work for him.

  • @pugnasilvia943
    @pugnasilvia943Ай бұрын

    They use everything as a manipulation tool. The truth is so fluid for them and takes all the shapes they need for the "ME, ME, ME" screenplay. Unfortunately...

  • @secondhorizon
    @secondhorizonАй бұрын

    Gee ~ Losing something you never had is one neat trick!

  • @jacquelinefroehle5868
    @jacquelinefroehle5868Ай бұрын

    Exactly right. And they will make attempts to force their Target to do immoral things....just so they can hold it over your head to use in threats to control your life. When I said "No, I will not do that"...next I'm threatened with "Well...everybody will hate you". And worse threats later on. They only get worse. Thank you Dr. Carter for helping all of us here !!

  • @deborahgloria3867
    @deborahgloria3867Ай бұрын

    Never 61 yrs old acts like he’s still on high school he’s a victim people are hit out to get them !

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116Ай бұрын

    Never developed a conscience

  • @palapalak.8907

    @palapalak.8907

    Ай бұрын

    Brain dead

  • @aaronkwolfe
    @aaronkwolfeАй бұрын

    The moral compass is an option. If it works for them in accusing, cool. But otherwise…,

  • @Teacher369

    @Teacher369

    Ай бұрын

    Ahhhh, but that’s not really a moral compass, is it? It’s pretending to have a moral compass, imitating others (like you said) when it’s convenient for them.

  • @aaronkwolfe

    @aaronkwolfe

    Ай бұрын

    @@Teacher369 I dunno. I guess it all boils down to whether they know what they are doing or they don’t.

  • @Teacher369

    @Teacher369

    Ай бұрын

    👋 I’m convinced my sociopathic sister believes her deluded narrative. She must know that she’s lying and creating false documents but it’s all justified in her mind because the end always justifies the means. (No conscience)

  • @yukio_saito

    @yukio_saito

    Ай бұрын

    @@SandraII-in9sl "A strong ego-magnetic field" -- well said 🎯💯😆

  • @aaronkwolfe

    @aaronkwolfe

    Ай бұрын

    @@Teacher369I think that is exactly my point. She must know. But either she does not care, or she cares MORE for something else, that excuses her from any consequences. Whether it be your sister or my ex-wife, they still know what is off target, but choose that instead. Theology geeks will understand my “off target” reference.

  • @fred.k9875
    @fred.k9875Ай бұрын

    They never had it!

  • @marcirobins5144

    @marcirobins5144

    Ай бұрын

    I was thinking the same thing!🤔

  • @yukio_saito

    @yukio_saito

    Ай бұрын

    I thought so.

  • @gracegarce8026
    @gracegarce8026Ай бұрын

    Very well said. Integrity indeed is truly lost with narcs.

  • @t.l.7733
    @t.l.7733Ай бұрын

    My narc boss gave a "Masterclass" of what he termed The Gold Standard of a High Moral Employee. In the meantime, I'm waiting to see which episode of American Greed: Scum, Schemers, Scoundrels, Sociopaths, Psychpaths,& Shattered Dreams he'll be featured on.

  • @spacegirl226

    @spacegirl226

    Ай бұрын

    Lol. Oh the IRONY.

  • @RRthee1
    @RRthee1Ай бұрын

    This is why I'm single now. The pain from a lack of a moral compass was/is unbearable. 😢

  • @dewuknowHIM
    @dewuknowHIMАй бұрын

    I guess The narcs in my family keep trying to '"use" me...BUT IT NEVER WORKS...My grandaughter is 23 and still tries...BUT...I HAVE A HEAVENLY FATHER THAT WONT LET IT HAPPEN !!! With SOOO many narcs in my family...and no morality whatsoever..... I truly appreciate your videos. 🎉🎊🎆💖 Thank you !!!!

  • @GuessWhoAsks

    @GuessWhoAsks

    Ай бұрын

    Since I do not exactly know what you mean....Could the"HEAVENLY FATHER" you reference also qualify as a narcissist who is trying to "use" you?

  • @franken-pattern
    @franken-patternАй бұрын

    Imho, you have to first possess a moral compass in order to lose it. I never met a Narcissist with any morality whatsoever.

  • @spacegirl226
    @spacegirl226Ай бұрын

    My mother has a terrible temper, and she terrorized the family with it growing up. She yelled at us (but can't remember) and even now she yells at everything -- inanimate objects like brooms, toasters, coke cans, etc etc. "You yahoo!" "Jerk!" When I asked her recently why can't she stop yelling at every little thing, she said, "Well, I'm angry. I yell at objects so I don't yell at people." But she still yells at people. My brother gets it all the time, and he also, as a toxic monster she created, gives it right back. Neither can control their temper and have never had to. I explained that I am angry too. I am very angry, in fact. But I don't take it out on people or Keurig machines. I sit with it and allow myself to be with that anger and move on from it. Her response: "Well, good for you!" I can't win. It's the weirdest thing seeing devout "Christians," with no moral compass but a lot of knee-jerk judgments about others, who give themselves free passes for their nastiness and unscrupulous behavior. Thanks, Dr. C!

  • @Dj.D25

    @Dj.D25

    Ай бұрын

    Speaking as a Christian, I have known a few Christians who put on a good show on Facebook about how much they love God and how amazing He is. They often post Bible verses, God's love and mercy, faith and all that. But they have mistreated me and others. Got angry easily at me for misunderstandings or because I called them out for some nonsense they said or did to me. Delete or block me for ridiculous reasons.I also noticed these types of people hardly or never post anything about sin, dealing with temptations, growing as a Christian, anything "negative". They also hardly post about anything else going on in their lives. Some of them I suspect are narcissists. Because of some bad experiences, I am very cautious now when I see Christians post mostly about God, Jesus, positive Bible verses and very little else. I used to find women who posted like that attractive, since they appeared to be God fearing but not anymore. Knowing who they are in person and on video is what really matters.

  • @Obihann
    @ObihannАй бұрын

    Omg, the truth thing is 100%. The amount of stories, to lie their way out of something, is unreal. Unless they've specifically said the 'actually word(s)' you've said verbatim, then they never said it. Yes, they might have 100% implied it, or said it in a round about way, or said something but not used those exact words. To them, it never happened.

  • @morgainnejade
    @morgainnejadeАй бұрын

    #5. I've got one that likes to pretend that he "doesn't intentionally" hurt people (a bald faced lie in its own right) he "just doesn't care." Therefore, that makes him "not an A-hole." Right.

  • @sheilajac
    @sheilajacАй бұрын

    i agree with fred, BUT, if they had any sense of right and wrong, but are giving even that up, i'm guessing you'll see a lot of rationalizing/excuse-making/justifying, denying (facts), lashing out/raging, attacking you to deflect from their misdeeds...but in the end, with no moral compass whatsover, i suppose things will inevitably spiral downward into mayhem and chaos, possibly to the point of committing murder, by any means available to them. seems to be what's happening to me by the narcs not welcome in my life, albeit very covertly and slowly.

  • @user-tb5lw9fb7k
    @user-tb5lw9fb7kАй бұрын

    What moral compass?

  • @darinsmith2458
    @darinsmith2458Ай бұрын

    Wow... I can say a LOT on the morality of Earth.. How do we deal with people who lie? This is where I can use my spiritual gift.. I can sense when people lie.. If I start from the place of stillness the lie that people give takes me away from that place.. Then going back to that place for the answer.. It is 100% about the place of stillness..

  • @chrisla2736
    @chrisla2736Ай бұрын

    Remember the old saying, " Misery loves company?" These individuals love to spread, misery, love to listen to others suffering and misery, with a false empathy. So it becomes a loop of misery, anger, and now a sect of negativity. I have fallen prey to it, too many times, but although having experienced it, will not become one of THEM, and have instead used it as a learning experience and growth.

  • @SurvivingNarcissism

    @SurvivingNarcissism

    Ай бұрын

    Spot on.

  • @dixsigns1717
    @dixsigns1717Ай бұрын

    My husband's lies are almost daily now. He tries to blame me by saying he is just doing what I said but in reality, it is usually the opposite of what I have said. I am getting so tired. I truly wanted to just end my life to get away from his abuse.

  • @Sabina-ve9ie

    @Sabina-ve9ie

    Ай бұрын

    I've been there. I longed for peace and the thought of ending my life seemed like a solution. Don't do it!!!! Maybe you can't imagine a life on your own (as I couldn't). But you will survive - leave him! The release of now living in peace and freedom will give you strength. Don't stay in abuse!!! Greetings from Germany.

  • @patg.7192

    @patg.7192

    Ай бұрын

    It's easy for others to tell you to leave the relationship, but please don't sacrifice yourself anymore for it. You deserve to be happy and to be safe! 💓

  • @lindaschoonderwoerd5472

    @lindaschoonderwoerd5472

    Ай бұрын

    Time to leave when you are at this point. Get help, reach out, you can just go step by step. I encourage you to take a step. You are of great value.

  • @dixsigns1717

    @dixsigns1717

    Ай бұрын

    @@Sabina-ve9ie 💖

  • @dixsigns1717

    @dixsigns1717

    Ай бұрын

    @@patg.7192 🙏❤‍🩹

  • @happyday3368
    @happyday3368Ай бұрын

    They want you to do for them, what they will NOT do for themselves - even if it means hurting others - they want YOU to do their bidding so they don't have to get their hands dirty. They sit there like butter melts in their mouth. That's when you have to enforce your boundaries.

  • @user-om9hh5ig4k
    @user-om9hh5ig4kАй бұрын

    “ To Err Is Human; To Try To Cover It Up Is Even More Human ! “

  • @SusanLlewellyn-pp2xn
    @SusanLlewellyn-pp2xnАй бұрын

    My Narc Mother...forced my little sister, age 10 to call up Daddys Office and tell his boss..'My Daddy ..self pleasures.. ' yes. And of course the child would ask all she met what does that M word mean? 🙄..on my brothers 8th birthday...just as he was getting ready to blow out his candles, she told him..'make a wish that your father would leave us'....she wanted to poison our food, she attempted suicide...Nmother died in 91 but her memories linger on. May God have Mercy on her Soul

  • @randy_cbc8811

    @randy_cbc8811

    Ай бұрын

    that is sad .. may you heal from those awful memories.

  • @SusanLlewellyn-pp2xn

    @SusanLlewellyn-pp2xn

    Ай бұрын

    @@randy_cbc8811 thankyou

  • @Calidore1
    @Calidore1Ай бұрын

    Liars are boring because lies are the ultimate in platitudes, what they want you hear.

  • @julieoelker1865
    @julieoelker1865Ай бұрын

    Rules for thee but not for me.

  • @kellyjones5133
    @kellyjones5133Ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr. Carter. Making progress. Slow but steady. Need rest today. Back at my agenda tomorrow.❤

  • @amandaliverpool3374
    @amandaliverpool3374Ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr.C and Team Healthy ❤️

  • @Joelswinger34
    @Joelswinger34Ай бұрын

    I don't think they ever had one.

  • @4coolclips
    @4coolclipsАй бұрын

    Still listening.....cant help feeling deep compassion for this type of person because they seem to have been thrown into life, forced to survive all alone, witjout ever being fortified and equipped with things like unconditional parental love, belonging, indentity, personal worth & value? What a living hell to be in!!! It sounds like a baby soul got thrown in to the coldest pit of suffering and torture, & that they have no other avenue? Ive seen people preach to people who are physically hungry, & parents who throw heavy moral standards on unloved children. Putting the cart before the horse. This is horribly sad to me 😢

  • @pamelar5868

    @pamelar5868

    Ай бұрын

    Your sympathy is understandable but perhaps not fully informed. Not all narcissistic individuals lived a horrible childhood with abandonment, abuse, ridicule, or other PTSD producing issues. Just saying.

  • @4coolclips

    @4coolclips

    Ай бұрын

    @@pamelar5868 Thank you for enlightening me!!! I think I was looking through my own lense of trauma & projecting? What you said is a relief because it'll be a lot easier to put anger where it belongs knowing this 👍👍👍❤️

  • @roxannetaitano1490

    @roxannetaitano1490

    Ай бұрын

    Listening would include application of knowledge to really understand... it might not have been your experience being on the receiving end of Narcissistic behavior. I truly hope you never will be. However, for many like myself who have, one can understand how an empathetic person would and could be easily manipulated. Knowledge is power only is the knowledge is relevant and used. This knowledge that underscores Narcissistic abuse does not excuse the behavior or the pain and destruction that results thereafter to the true victim/s. Rather, it brings to light that these individuals will find a reason and any excuse to continue their bad behavior. Sorry, not sorry! I cannot feel empathy for someone who cannot and will not do the same for others. Tried that...done that... at my expense and suffered.

  • @4coolclips

    @4coolclips

    Ай бұрын

    @@roxannetaitano1490 Great points, thank you!! Especially not excusing the abuse!! Yep, I've been plagued with them all my life too (friends, boyfriends, etc.) & the repressed anger inside due to the abuse is a real problem for me, it has made me jaded and untrusting

  • @spacegirl226

    @spacegirl226

    Ай бұрын

    I don't feel compassion for them anymore, but I do feel pity. I grew up being thrown into that cold pit, but I couldn't do to another person what was done to me. I wonder how some of us who were abused and neglected gain self awareness and some of us don't. Compassion has limits, I think. Someone who continues that destructive behavior regardless of seeing how it hurts them and others wastes compassion. It makes no difference to them. They wouldn't know what to do with compassion but squander it and demand more, and then tell you you weren't being compassionate. When it gets that bad, pity from a distance is a reasonable choice.

  • @Bbop007
    @Bbop007Ай бұрын

    My response to anything he says to me is: yes,no, I don’t know.

  • @BaraSchmidt
    @BaraSchmidtАй бұрын

    Whatever moral compass a narcissistic individual may start out with is fairly quickly placed on "mute." Over time it gets disconnected and eventually is completely removed. Along with all the other "standard equipment" like accountability, authenticity, empathy, honesty...you know, like all the "useless junk" no self-respecting narc has any use for. Stay tuned in and Stay Healthy!

  • @MicheleLHarvey
    @MicheleLHarveyАй бұрын

    Oh my! That ship sailed long ago. Good thing I know how to navigate by the stars...

  • @BushcraftQuebec
    @BushcraftQuebecАй бұрын

    I'm going to court for reacting . And being told to shut up like I can't be a victim of a narcissist 😅

  • @CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger
    @CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTigerАй бұрын

    Sheesh, broken compass, broken humor, broken spine. 😬🤔 🚪 🤭

  • @wakeupordie
    @wakeupordieАй бұрын

    Did they ever have one?

  • @sophiarevel6952
    @sophiarevel6952Ай бұрын

    Thank you for this video.

  • @marmaladesunrise
    @marmaladesunriseАй бұрын

    It's always a relief listening to your words of wisdom.

  • @lisacarr5889
    @lisacarr5889Ай бұрын

    The narc I know never had a moral compass. She is everything you describe, but never had a moral compass.

  • @Montanapearl
    @MontanapearlАй бұрын

    My son has no morality, no empathy. He is a person who enjoys punishing me. I am so tired of being accused, and hurt by him. He dose the nice game when he wants something. He uses us, controls, situations and uses us until he has someone pat him on the back and tell him how great he is. He lies and makes up stuff about us. Like we were idiot parents who abused him. It makes his next victims feel sorry for him, and hate us. One time his new wife called us up ( I'm sure he was listening) and ask us when are you going to quit bringing up his childhood when he was just a teen. I said what are you talking? But she said we should let his past go. My husband and I were flabbergasted. We had no idea what he had told her, but she believed it and now hates us. We haven't heard from them since October. So our punishment is no Christmas, birthdays, Mothers Day, or Anniversary. This is our punishment. I'm so sick of him doing this to us. The Videos have helped me realize I don't have to put up with his games. What we live with in our twilight years is pure hell. I am seeking peace.

  • @amandalea8156
    @amandalea8156Ай бұрын

    Educational

  • @user-we8ek7ku7d
    @user-we8ek7ku7dАй бұрын

    I asked someone I suspected was narcissist once how she would feel if her partner became sick or disabled and she didn't hesitate to say, "What's in it for me!"

  • @valenciakeller1828
    @valenciakeller1828Ай бұрын

    Thank you for the great information. God bless you

  • @SurvivingNarcissism

    @SurvivingNarcissism

    Ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @angelasome9044
    @angelasome9044Ай бұрын

    My mom and sister are both malignant. Rip you off a few times? Thank your lucky stars. They want your emotions. Don’t give ‘em? Run.

  • @vjvsm
    @vjvsmАй бұрын

    Good day Dr. C and Gus! THANK YOU for sharing your knowledge with Us!

  • @judyhogarth80
    @judyhogarth80Ай бұрын

    Thanks for session. I thought you were funny. I do keep hoping things will be different, and you wisely said ‘it won’t be’. Hilarious. Thanks for you sanity.Judy from uk

  • @laurenlowery5799
    @laurenlowery5799Ай бұрын

    My older sister is wicked, evil She remarried at 78 to a man 5 years her senior. He'd had his own business, owned a nice home. She wanted everything, so proceeded to pick apart his family. He wouldnt listen to her, begged her to not break up his family. So she wrote down all of the things about his family she thought were unacceptable..he still wouldn't break from his family. It came down to her or his family. As soon as he agreed with her she had him sign the house, his bank accounts, etc over to her. I tried to tell her how wrong this was, but she wouldn't listen. When he passed she wouldn't put an obituary in the paper because she didn't want his family to find out. I stopped contact with her..cannot tolerate her evilness. This man adopted those 4 kids. He loved them and his grandkids. She couldn"t stand it. Such a cruel thing she did. And she professes to be such a great Christian. I could write a book on how she has been incredibly cruel to her daughters, to me and our mother. She caused such chaos....I am so glad to be free of her, but have intense anger for her over her actions towards others over the years.

  • @michelleharkness7549
    @michelleharkness7549Ай бұрын

    ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: thank you 😅: again: thank you 😊

  • @AnneReimer
    @AnneReimerАй бұрын

    A narc can't miss...what they dont have.yikes!a moral compass is so humanly,life vital😮

  • @Mrsvragica666
    @Mrsvragica666Ай бұрын

    Thank you, Dr. Carter. I truly appreciate your videos, and I'd be grateful if therapists would inform the public more about the potential dangers of getting into conflict with a person lacking a moral compass. I think only Dr. Rosenberg emphasizes not to call out a narcissist in any setting otherwise it may have grave consequences for you. From my experience, the person became so unrecognizable during a private conflict that they made it clear they would hammer me if I dare degrade their public image. I would check my mail bin for months every day terrified will I hear from them again. I was so scared.

  • @michelleb40
    @michelleb40Ай бұрын

    Thank you for continuing to navigate me through the situation I am going through with a parent. Your videos have been life-saving.

  • @ericb8413
    @ericb8413Ай бұрын

    I hate narcissists.

  • @carmenm.9522
    @carmenm.9522Ай бұрын

    Factoring in other peoples irresponsibility relative to your decisions is pretty sound life advice in a narcissistic world. Self determination will get you farther in life than relying on other people.

  • @meganlip953
    @meganlip953Ай бұрын

    Question?: is the bulk of narcissistic behavior a result of shame? That instead of learning healthy coping skills and communication they've learned to just deflect and shift blame to avoid accountability? So in that essentially narcissism has become their shield to themselves?

  • @cheralyse1352
    @cheralyse1352Ай бұрын

    Comment on the "short": They Want You To Be Like Them". Wow! I've been trying to wrap my brain around comments made by 2 NPDs in my life. Boyfriend who returned after a break says "you have to be like me"! Strange comment. Then my older sister who I see once every couple of years, greets me with "are you like me?" What?! is she talking about? Never did I emulate, envy or admire her. These narcs have strange brains. In fact, she copies my vocabulary, my style in clothes, etc. I appreciate your understanding of this stuff, Dr. Carter. Thanks so much.

  • @PixieCropCircleDuster
    @PixieCropCircleDusterАй бұрын

    9:58 reality check. Thanks Dr. Carter

  • @kimhumiston2686
    @kimhumiston2686Ай бұрын

    My N older jealous sister, which I went no contact with 8 months ago, fell and broke her wrist. I am sure now, she is thinking how I could have helped her , had I not gone no contact.

  • @GarySpicer-xk2ux
    @GarySpicer-xk2ux15 күн бұрын

    So true. My ex girlfriend had once told me “I have morals but I’m not sure what they are” 😂

  • @SurvivingNarcissism

    @SurvivingNarcissism

    15 күн бұрын

    "But" means, Erase what I just said, here comes what I really mean.

  • @Obihann
    @ObihannАй бұрын

    Thank you, you advice really helps!

  • @a.pepper6687
    @a.pepper6687Ай бұрын

    Excellent! 💯 on target!

  • @kayreenbellamy6081
    @kayreenbellamy6081Ай бұрын

    Thank you for sharing insights to look for and be aware of. Helps with moving forward to avoid repeating bad interactions.

  • @SurvivingNarcissism

    @SurvivingNarcissism

    Ай бұрын

    You are so welcome!

  • @Tahoejt
    @TahoejtАй бұрын

    Thank you Dr C. This was short and sweet and what I needed today!

  • @scharlespeterson3978
    @scharlespeterson3978Ай бұрын

    You are the real “Dr Phil”

  • Ай бұрын

    Thank You~

  • @a.w.3689
    @a.w.3689Ай бұрын

    Amen 💯 thank you 😊

  • @avanellehansen4525
    @avanellehansen4525Ай бұрын

    Yes. Sexual coersion about acts I was not comfortable with led to the divorce.

  • @andy.hello.6602
    @andy.hello.6602Ай бұрын

    Great info.

  • @adwoaboakye265
    @adwoaboakye265Ай бұрын

    This is sooooooo true!

  • @heidik5109
    @heidik5109Ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr. C - you very much appreciated, and what you are is quite important during this time.

  • @user-bf1zi7fx9z
    @user-bf1zi7fx9zАй бұрын

    Thank you

  • @julienatoli8561
    @julienatoli8561Ай бұрын

    You help me so much Dr C ... you always confirm what's down deep in my heart. Thank you so much!! 🙌🕊️✝️ God bless you Sir ❣️

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnnАй бұрын

    Thank you Dr. C. YUUUUUP…so true again this video. Hugs to Gus. From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI

  • @judysangregorio2787
    @judysangregorio2787Ай бұрын

    Awesome video, as usual. Perfect! Hi to Gus!

  • @SurvivingNarcissism

    @SurvivingNarcissism

    Ай бұрын

    Glad you liked it!

  • @lesliesavage9229
    @lesliesavage9229Ай бұрын

    Time stamp 10:58 That's profound.

  • @le2382
    @le238227 күн бұрын

    Gus really loves his naps! 😂❤

  • @SurvivingNarcissism

    @SurvivingNarcissism

    27 күн бұрын

    You gotta be good at something!