These videos have helped. Being betrayed never stops hurting. Im not with my wife anymore but in many ways it hurts just as bad now as it did on D-Day. It's been 15 years now .Infidelity is the ultimate way to tell someone "i dont think you are good enough".

This is my second marriage, this is the second time I have married a cheater. The first one I had 4 children with my youngest was 6 months old, I kicked him out, because I was sick of his affairs. My second husband is a porn addict. He has until March 13th next year, which 2 years 8 months out from 2nd d day. Also 1 year out from him hitting me, and in house separation began. I set boundaries, I am not afraid of being alone. I raised those 4 children on my own, working jobs I hated, went to school to become a nurse. Now I am older, wiser, I am strong, and will overcome this.

So much of this speaks to me. 100% everybody loves to tell you what they would do when it hasn't happened to them. It's absolutely not as easy as that when you thought you had a happy life before. Appreciate these videos - thanks for bringing comfort and hope to do many going through this. So many can't understand it if they haven't lived it ❤

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

happy to help my friend. so glad you found the videos.

One is pretending that forgave, the other that is sorry. How can a therapist tell you: "run from her. Run for your life. She is toxic"?

I've healed by leaving his cheating self behind.

Thank you Samuel. This video is spot on about the toxic blaming and shaming from the keyboard warriors. Your videos have been so inspiring since my D day 6 months ago.

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

I'm honored I could help and support you in some small way.

Well the fact that sooooo many people come to your website definitely triggers the betrayed!!!! Where's the hope to find someone who is faithful????!!!!

Thank you for these videos. I felt so alone but I see there is a whole world of people that are going through this. For me it’s been repeated infidelity. It’s a different kind of pain. So many times I had to try and heal before it happened again. Imagine the fear I have in my heart now. I feel stuck and can’t move. It’s 9 months since the most recent D day and I’m feeling the scar from every time it’s happened all at once now. It’s the deepest cut I’ve ever felt. I have anxiety all night and we had to take a break with in the last 21 days because of my emotional fallout. I finally got therapy and we are talking again and taking it very slowly this time around.

Thank you for doing this. Since my D day 1.1 year ago your videos have been a voice of reason in an otherwise Topsy turvy world. I think you had a big role for me as a BS to working on myself and helping us reach a reconciling stage

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

thank you. honored to be a part of your journey. means so much to get messages like this.

To everyone who watches these videos your voice is heard and valued. SPEAK UP LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD

These videos are very helpful. Thank You…

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

honored to help in some small way. thank you.

Thats exactly how how feel when my wife wants to talk about it, you hit the nail on the head when you said its something i dont want to talk about it because of the shame, failure i feel and the hurt that i have caused. Your videos have been a life saver for me and my wife and we appreciate you. Thank you so much for the time that you put into this. I hope that we can meet you sometime. We live in San Antonio, not far from you. We watch your videos especially when we have hit those hard to make it days. Thank you again, your friend Raul.

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

thank you for the incredibly kind words my friend. means a ton.

Thanks again man, so hard to get out of shame cycles.

Thank you. You just don't know how you've been helping me all these years

Thank you - D day August 2011; stayed until April 2016; divorced October 2022. Found Affair Recovery in 2017. Radical Healing, over time, has exponentially grown me. I am Betrayed. Affair partner was my girlfriend. Betrayer continued with AP. Betrayer and Affair partner are still together. We were married in 1978 to 2022 - 44 years. Healing takes t - time. Trust Hope Love yourself. Heal. Work on healing. Affair Recovery has been a Tool for my healing. Affair Recovery has been a key ingredient to my healing. My understanding of the components essentially to healing. Thank you for your commitment to marriages.

Thank you

Thk again! Always helpful! All the best

thankyou Sam

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

my pleasure. thank you for the kind words.

There is no statical evidence of it because those who have seen the marriage fall part will not say anything because they get shamed for it or ignore, that is why. This is similar to the following I have several medical conditions which during my younger years doctor would scream out it is impossible to have such problems. They would ignore my suffering or just blame me for suppose to be ghost symptoms. Today I have met an allergist who just vindicate me on my conditions after years of been shame and ignore. Still if I go back to those doctors and bring proof they will belittle it and me. While some will just ignore the evidents of the past.

To all watch these videos we all have to fight our fear and ego with we want to move forward. Also remember that we are human and we make mistakes in our lives . Make the choice and fight for a better you . And fight the uncomfortable and learn how in a healthy way. To all BETRAYED SPOUSES DO OUR WORK WE NEEDED TO HELP OUR SELFS AND KEEP FIGHTING NEVER GIVE UP .

100%. Thank you for this wisdom. We have gone through enormous healing and transformation from the work we’ve done with the help of Affair Recovery. We owe our new strengthened marriage to you. EMS Weekend was what launched us and continues to guide us. Thank you, thank you.

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

so great to hear.

Hello sir,I was betrayed.I still do love the unfaithful,and i do want to move forward.The thing is,I think she is stuck in the despair,self hatred and pity.She find her energy in me but she is still often in doubt,and saying that she does not deserve a second chance because she betrayed someone like me.Can you provide me with help on how to help her get out of that self hatred and despair loop,as it makes her want to end the relationship for my sake?

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

I would read/watch this series on shame that will help both of you: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-understanding-the-paralysis-of-shame i would also ask her to consider taking this course on our site just for her: www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing

Thank you for this

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

in this day and age, it seems corny, but thank you for being thankful and sharing some kindness out there. appreciate it so much and so glad it helped.

Can you talk about a second affair. After already getting help with the first one and taking him back.

A year out from d-day I am searching for stories of hope and redemption. We have done full therapeutic disclosure, Impact Letter, Restitution Letter, he goes to several 12 meetings per week, has a sponsor, he has been sober from SA, we both go to individual therapy one day a week, I am doing betrayal trauma work, and we are in such a great place. We have never been closer and we fell in love again. This has changed both of us for the better spirituality, mentally, and relationally. I want to yell from the mountain tops and online support groups "There is hope!". When I try to share this with other betrayed women, they are hurt because they don't have the same circumstances or experiences. It comes of as invalidating their feelings or being insensitive. How do I share hope without hurting others? Sometimes betrayed partners share a similar story to mine, but a couple of years down the road their husband relapses and acts out. That causes such shame and embarrasment for the wife that has been sharing hope and healing all along. It's a dilemma to be hopeful without being sensitive or over confident, so often I stay quiet or leave groups that are negatively focused. I hope this makes sense. Thank you and everyone at Affair Recovery for providing free resources and hope to the betrayer and the betrayed.

@samshealingpodcast

Жыл бұрын

thank you for the kind words. i'm so glad you both are doing so well. i think being empathetic to those who are struggling and being kind and patient is key. sometimes, people who are in crisis and struggling don't want to hear about how good it is for others....they just want to be heard and validated and cared for where they are. i'm not saying you're doing anything wrong at all...i'm just saying it's been my experience that many in crisis want comfort and a "i get it and you're safe here' more than anything else. i hope that helps.

@eileenpillmeier3270

Жыл бұрын

Stacey, I see you are very early on in this process. Glad from your prospective it is going very well. Sadly a year is a very short period of time for recovery from sex addiction. There often are relapses associated with addictions. Be wise and prepare yourself for this probability.

@staceyv4186

Жыл бұрын

@@eileenpillmeier3270 unfortunately this was our 2nd d-day. The first time there was only couples therapy and no diagnosis of SA. I have been married to my husband for 37 years and met him when we were very young 13 and 16. I finally "know" my husband for the first time in 43 years, all of him. Every day has been an exercise of choice to reconcile the past, face the truth, grieve, grow, forgive, love, and live in the now. I would not be here without my faith and the actions my husband has taken to make me feel safe, seen, and heard. That being said, I know it all could change tomorrow. He could have a slip, relapse, or even die. We aren't promised tomorrow, so I live each day in the moment and cherish the new relationship we have now. My eyes are wide open, I know what can happen, I have boundaries, and support. I am prepared for anything, yet I have hope. Thank you for your response. ❤️‍🩹