My parents didn't do any of this. It helps that one of them has undiagnosed ADHD. Instead my brother gets/got regular berating about being lazy and insensitive, and then our parents were usually inconsistent.

@josephreynolds2401

4 жыл бұрын

This hits home.

@stevecarter8810

11 ай бұрын

Your parents didn't have Dr Berkely

Extra time in uni was as helpful as ritalin to getting my degree. But that might be because engineering exams are too short on time for everyone and there's a lot of problem solving priority choices in engineering. But even with essays - I just take longer (SCT slow). But that 4 hours is when you spark. its the one time I'm really aware of time and breaking the test up into chunks is the worst idea I could think of

This is a curse, instagram idiots who claim otherwise probably don't have it. I have debilitating adhd to the point I can become so overwhelmed I stop breathing and would spend minutes holding a door knob, but I still managed to cultivate a successful career as a senior software developer. Now imagine what I could have achieved if I didn't get distracted whenever I read technical books. This is a curse, and we should acknowledge it as one.

@tigrankarakhanyan9273

2 ай бұрын

Yes. Even though the word "curse" is too negative for my taste. It's a major cognitive impairment, and very little flowers and magic. A lot of people attribute their high IQ or high creativity to ADHD, w/o realizing those are separate traits.

I completely agree with him on the stupidity of extra time i took many national exams in France and I always finished before the time. I always wrote less as well because i have to be synthetic because if i start listing myself in too many details i know that i'm never going to be finished and i might lose myself and not knowing how to organise the essay. So being concise and getting to the point fast was my way of coping the mess in my head !

I'm having trouble with the term "consequences" because it comes with so much baggage and feels like a negative -- like, "pile on more punishments" -- but I *think* you're meaning it as a neutral: more rewards *and* more punishments, more immediate feedback on whether the behavior was positive or negative (and which *parts* were bad or good). And it just reminds me of the times I told my mom or dad that I *needed* to have some reward for doing a thing -- I needed money for it, ideally -- and they (my dad especially) would fire back with comments about how I was part of the family and ought to be doing the thing because hey, he paid for the roof over my head etc. etc. ...which failed to address the need I was trying to express, didn't motivate me to do the chore he was trying to get me to do, and made me feel more negative about various aspects of my life in a way that simply reduced my spoons and, thus, my ability to do anything else. Joy.

@stevecarter8810

11 ай бұрын

I think a lot of parents still use artificial consequences where real ones are better. Get your clothes and shoes on quickly *so that* we have time for a play in the school yard before the bell

@Guigui_82

8 ай бұрын

As an adult with ADHD, I don't blame my parents or other adults (teachers...) because they couldn't be able to detect I had ADHD back then (I'm 40). At that time, late '80's, and '90's, we only knew about "hyperactive" kids. So unless a kid was bouncing from his chair every 5 minutes, an adult ignorant about what really is ADHD, had no clue to notice it. And neither parents nor teachers are informed about it. Maybe nowadays teachers know more about it. I hope. But they'll usually just assume the kid is either "lazy", distracted... We should really raise awareness about ADHD among teachers!

@stevecarter8810

8 ай бұрын

@@Guigui_82 yep I got "he's a bright kid and capable of so much more" and I remember thinking "if I was capable of more I would have been doing more"

@Plasmafox

3 ай бұрын

Used wrong the child learns- like i did- that "consequences" are just something someone *does* to you, something to flee from and avoid. That it's their choice, and you have a limited ability to control it because it's based on their feelings.

@Arkylie

3 ай бұрын

@@Plasmafox Yeah, reminds me of how many social boundaries I have been "taught" by people being angry that I don't know them in advance. E.g. a memorable day when my dad handed me $20 for treats and my brother and I spent the whole twenty bucks and he got pissed that we didn't somehow grasp that he didn't mean for us to use the whole twenty. I forget how old we were but I'd guess maybe I was twelve or something, and the idea of saving and returning part of what I'd been given just didn't occur to me, yet my dad certainly expected me to know it!

I'm an adult and I'm still struggling to make these changes for myself!

I'm 43, and my dad is still trying to nag the ADHD out of me.

I would pay money for that accommodation, instead of my free accommodation of extra time

My University essentially allowed me to take unlimited extensions to my essay deadlines on my disability plan. It went about as well as you could imagine: one month past the original deadline I did more writing in one night than the entire 2 months before then.

Extra time for me would be good because it takes me longer to get my thoughts in order - the planning phase. Maybe he would call that SCT. Once I get over the hump of starting I would be in hyper-focus mode.

It’s hard to be consistent with this as a parent because I’m ADHD, but I do the empathy and coaching and short sentences naturally - just can’t do that timer thing so the dinner table gets set when we all finally catch up with ourselves …

@stevecarter8810

11 ай бұрын

I have physical clockwork and electronic timers kicking around the house. When I tell him it's 15 minutes till time to go brush teeth I set one and put it next to him, or we tie it to the length of the video he's watching at the time. He even does it himself sometimes and holds me accountable for slipping. I always thank him and celebrate when he does that. Finally, god alone knows when the table will get set in our house.

Extra time on the exam being stupid is the exact thing I said when they said that was my college accommodation

My parents were told in 1979, or 80 that I had ADD... there was nothing to do for anyone and they ddin't do anything for it. Mom would say go get my brush in the third drawer down. I 'd leave the room and then return and say.. "what did you want me to do?? and she'd tell me again, i would get to the drawer then forget.. what ? i would feeling even more annoyed.. she told me idk how many times. i'm 50 now i'm doing ok. I don't like medication so i'm not on it. I did see a therapist who did help very much with my spinny head, though. soo much...

@blacksheepgirl

Жыл бұрын

In church it would help me pay attention if i doodled, it prob looked like I wasn't, but if i didn't draw, or anything i'd be really fidgety. O:

Extra time is for if the child throws a fit. It also gives the time for frequent breaks. Unfortunately, it's the only way to ensure we can help them for the state exams. I've given 4 breaks for a 40 questions before, but the child was able to knock the test out of the park.

What study is the testing referencing

Be consistent.follow up. Touch them to get their attention. Keep it short. More external consequences. Stopwatch

What types of consequenses is recomended?

@IsleNaK

5 жыл бұрын

positive reinforcement (praise/reward - that's why he said you shouldn't be afraid that your child will end up being materialistic) works better than negative types of consequences (punishment) as of science. To make an example: cleaning the room. 1. Break down the task (making bed, cleaning the table, put the clothes in the closet etc). [I listed 3 tasks, so let's just work with 3] 2. assign a time to the task (let's say 15 minutes per tasks. time can vary dependeing on the task. It also should be possible to finish the task on time. Remember that kids work slowlier than adults). 3. assign and announce the rewards: "if by the end of cleaning your room, you'll end up not finishing even one of the tasks on time, there will be no reward. If by the end of cleaning your room, you'll end up finishing one task out of three on time, you'll get a candy. For two tasks on time, you get 30 minutes extra time on watching TV. For all 3 we'll go to the playground." 4. Set a 15 minutes timer for your child and yourself and announce that task starts now. after the timer goes off, check wether the task got finished. 5. when the room cleaning is over check the amount of tasks finished in time and reward accordingly.

@henrysmith180

3 жыл бұрын

Immediate consequences, because the child cannot understand delayed consequences.

@katherineberger6329

Жыл бұрын

@@IsleNaK I want to add something to this because it’s not well enough understood: Under no circumstances should consequences be punishments for failing to complete tasks. Punishing a kid with ADHD for struggling is abusive.

What if they’re adhd and autism?

@Guigui_82

8 ай бұрын

I might have both. I'm 40 and just got diagnosed for ADHD. I only looked for help from a psychiatrist because my life is a disaster and I'll be in big trouble if I don't do something about it. I only do stuff if I there are severe consequences otherwise. I should get the stimulant (Ritalin or other) at the next appointment. Hopefully it's gonna help. But I'm pretty sure I also have autism. The next sessions will tell...

FOUND IT

No... I like idea of extra time. If I have time that much that it's impossible to not do it by this time, than it's bigger chance I will do more before time finished. Also, ADHD is often with dyslexia or dysgraphia - they make this "extra time" a real need. I know since childhood this hell "give me this paper, time is off" and I was just starting...

@IsleNaK

5 жыл бұрын

but his system would work for you, too. let's say exam time is 1h. For the non-ADHD children the exam would just take your regular class time. But the ADHD child get's a stopwatch with 1h. The ADHD child can stop the time after 10 minutes (which is 50 minutes left) and stretch a little and go outside. After coming back to the class the ADHD child still has 50 minutes for the exam even if they walked outside for 20 minutes, because 50 minutes is what the stopwatch says.

@221b-Maker-Street

Жыл бұрын

_"If I have time that much that it's impossible to not do it by this time"_ AHAHAHAHAHA HAHAH AHAHAHAHA. HAHAH HAA. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAA!!! Yeah, No. 🤣😂🤣