I know he was his own person, his secret killed him because it was a bad secret. Shooting up has a low margin for error. No one should use heroine, period. There's zero upside.
I miss him so much. I don't fully understand why he would choose heroine when he had such a beautiful and rich life. Why would he even risk death for it? He loved so many things. He worked hard to be an athlete and student and person.
I will never be able to convey to the world how awesome he was, the world will regard him as another dead addict. It breaks my heart. Who he was doesn't factor in much anymore, only that he died.
Mourning of this type seems solitary because the facts about what killed him don't tell the story of who he was. and he was special.
I'm also feeling that his addiction was manifesting earlier because connections i'm making now. I wish i had it picked up or he could have communicated something.. My whole life will be spend tuning that over and over.
I hate the idea of a meaningful life without him. I hate myself for not detecting this..at all. How could i think i knew him so well and missed the thing that killed him?
I'm so sad that the world will never have the beauty he could have brought to it.
this diary is meant to be an expose on how Forrest doing this has changed everything for me personally. Not for the better
I'm positive my story is not unique either.
This is a scourge.