My next fantasy novel, Kingdom of Dragons, is out now! Get a signed, deluxe, limited-edition of the book (well before it goes live on other stores) here: Check it out here: bit.ly/kingdom-of-dragons

@vonnegutfrey8714

5 ай бұрын

Are you going to do another one of these?

@satv1769

3 ай бұрын

Harry potter magic system could be the best magic system if JKR introduce a potion that can transfrom any megus into wizard. No wand for useing magic and no broom need for flying.Thats it

@darksnake917

2 ай бұрын

ok i couldn't actually comment but how mine works is so simple every boy or girl at the end of there 8th grade year and will be tested for symbols and the way they do this is a test with different things now if wielder is dead or died one of the children will gain the power there are different category's for the powers hydraulics aired geo and pyro now they all are different so in hydraulics it could be like clouds or wind could be dust storms but that would be a combination being born of air and sand its cool and awesome in my book get it

@manuginobilishair5662

Күн бұрын

Real original name there… kingdom of dragons😭😭😭

My magic system is that if I cover myself in oil and step outside in the rain, I can fly.

@julietbutnotjuliet5919

6 ай бұрын

this could so be you in credomancy

@mr.frogman1827

3 ай бұрын

Ork detected

@monkek

3 ай бұрын

i love the comment and replies.

@Oobsoleete

2 ай бұрын

Took getting oiled up to a different level

@rannnoch

2 ай бұрын

@@mr.frogman1827 not how it works but whatever. im gonna krump you now

Honestly I was really confident in my idea until I realized the sheer volume of contestants. Statistics were definitely not on my side. I'm happy I made it as far as I did. I had a lot of fun putting it together and I'm really grateful for the opportunity. Congrats to those who made it farther than me and especially congrats to Ethan

@mincraftbro4000

8 ай бұрын

Bro i'eve liked your magic system I think it could be good for a fantasy story

@tracyelder1220

8 ай бұрын

I honestly would love to read a novel or even a short story using your magic system. I was really digging the scene you wrote, too.

@VandarAlden

8 ай бұрын

Thanks, I'll get to it someday, for now I started on a different project with my sister. It's going to be about a royal enchanter who retired and moved to the middle of nowhere. When something destroys all of the powerful magic weapons in the kingdom they seek him out to try to get more weapons. He has lots of magical weapons because he still loves to enchant but he can only enchant with what's available, like kitchen utensils and other household gadgets. So they go on a quest to find Knights willing to wield the Egg Beater of Annihilation and the Spatula of Indignity. The guiding principle in this world is that magic gets powerful as it ages. So the most powerful magic items were enchanted years ago.

@GodOfThunder00X

7 ай бұрын

@@VandarAlden dude this is so creative and funny, I'd love to read that

@VandarAlden

7 ай бұрын

@@GodOfThunder00X Thanks! Now I just need to get my writing to catch up to my creativity

The memory magic system immediately makes me think of one thing: trauma. How powerful are traumatic memories? Could some evil organization brainwash soldiers and inflict horrific torture on them to turn them into absurdly powerful human weapons? And what would be the long-term effects? Would the mental scars of the trauma linger even after the memory has been used up? Inevitably rendering these people into insane, animalistic monsters that don't even recognize their own reflections? I can see a LOT of interesting conflict arising from that.

@marwanmannou5918

8 ай бұрын

i also thaugh about what if someone remembered the time when he was a sperm, can he destroy the world ?

@briannewman9285

8 ай бұрын

I think which memories are taken should be random. They have to be of a suitable strength, but that's all. Some people lose too many memories and become ghaunts.

@ashurean

8 ай бұрын

Another minor alteration that came to my mind is, instead of a memory being burned off immediately, it's instead drained like a battery. The memory grows more and more faded as it's drawn from until it's entirely gone. This could tie in with potentially having memories causing different effects based on some defining quality.

@ashurean

8 ай бұрын

​@@briannewman9285 I don't know about random for what seems like a pretty hard magic system, but you could meet in the middle and have different kinds of memories offer different effects. So a hero might need to choose between having access to a certain power, or saving one of their most precious memories.

@briannewman9285

8 ай бұрын

This is about writing a story, not creating a game. What is more dramatic, trying to game the system? Or a character thirsting for power and risking everything that makes them a person (their most precious memories) every time they reach for power? Russian roulette will beat Magic the Gathering ANY day for high-stakes tension.@@ashurean

I honestly LOVED the quote: "Do YOU know yourself well enough to become Immortal?" Like- the system could've been better constructed, but that quote hit HARD

@fluffffycat

2 ай бұрын

aint it just green lantern

Soil of the Ancients has HUGE potential for alchemy. I'd love to see this worked out.

@VandarAlden

7 ай бұрын

Yeah I had some thoughts along those lines. I'm currently working on another story but it is a magic system I intend to get back to

@GenJuhru

7 ай бұрын

I'm thinking a location has became barren causing not only the flora and fauna but the native community there to go extinct. Ofc, it won't be of natural cause... Sounds familiar but I guess you can always sneak in a survivor's revenge plot.

@thepowerofthemind6450

6 ай бұрын

Yeah. Honestly I don't know why he didn't expand on the various jobs that could arise from it. Like, a good gardener would be treasured by many and envied by others! would he be able to tend to every garden or only a specific one? Could he control the growth of the plants to make variations of it and if yes do temples make agreements and form pantheons to make more and more potent plants?

@VandarAlden

6 ай бұрын

@@thepowerofthemind6450 I wanted to get the general idea of the system as well as capitalize on the visual aspect of it. I felt that the implications for gardeners was a part that most people would figure out the basic idea especially since I'm pretty sure I mentioned grafting. However my intent is that with the exception of certain plants like the fire plants and others that have physical effects the care of many of the plants aren't going be very different from the care of real plants aside from the soil. Much like normal plants each will have its own care routines and needs. That being said a good gardener does become much more valuable because of the value of the crops. Also botanists and Plant breeders to create new strains with new abilities. However due to the fact that the plants are limited to the soil where the ancient died a lot of the sites are controlled by churches or the wealthy. Although over time the power does spread further out spread in part by microbes and worms and the like but for some reason the soil doesn't stay potent when moved away from the site altogether

@VandarAlden

6 ай бұрын

@@thepowerofthemind6450 synergy between different type of plants usually comes from grafting but might also come from storing plants from different areas and using them in tandem

No way! Sarah's credomancy was awesome! Think about how many will turn Machiavellian, while others will focus on defense through idealism. The conflict writes itself.

@mcpainty5698

8 ай бұрын

Thank you! I'm so glad someone else liked it! I had a lot of fun making it! As I was simplifying the concept for this contest I actually discovered that this system justifies the Big Bad "Mr. Bond" speeches villains always seem to give, which I think is hysterical. XD I wouldn't have discovered that without doing this contest and trying to condense the system down to it's basic parts so in the end I think I'm the true winner here hahaha xD

@RensStoryteller

7 ай бұрын

Practicing witch here who's worldview on magic is very much like Credomancy in the sense of "it's deeply personal and each being can practice, though no two crafts are perfectly identical with rare exceptions." If one seeks to use the wide but slow power of the gods in small and fast ways, one must know themselves deeply and intimately, and one must know the gods they draw from or the concepts they seek to draw from for their desired outcome.

@RensStoryteller

7 ай бұрын

I'm sorry, but as someone who actively practices magic as a witch, I can't help but love your creation as its a very "x concept taken to its logical extreme + story bs" form of my own craft. Belief and understanding are strictly key and to master both you need to be deeply and intimately knowledgeable in both yourself and the deities or concepts you wish to draw from.

@mcpainty5698

7 ай бұрын

@@RensStoryteller that's really cool! I had no idea there were real practices in the world that involved that sort of self discovery! Most of the religions and practices that I am aware of almost actively tell you the opposite-- to give up yourself and change who you are in order to follow this person or do specific things. There are exceptions of course, not every practice/religion is like that, but I had yet to find a practice that embraces who you truly are and wants you to explore it actively and confidently. So that's really cool that there actually is something out there like that! If I may ask out of curiosity, is what you practice part of a wider religion/practice or is this something you've developed yourself?

@eatingtheleaf4659

7 ай бұрын

@@mcpainty5698 I absolutely love the idea of a villain giving an evil monologue to power up their magic

The fact that the card magic system got so far is crazy to me

@ImaErick

6 ай бұрын

LITERALLY

@thepowerofthemind6450

6 ай бұрын

Yeah, but when he expanded on it the potential was unlocked

@saparapatepete

6 ай бұрын

he took a simple concept and took it as far as possible, gotta respect that creative implementation

@loveunconventionally6043

6 ай бұрын

I just kept thinking, “isn’t this yu-gi-oh?”

@saparapatepete

6 ай бұрын

@@loveunconventionally6043 lol, if they used the monsters only to play in turns, i guess it fits the bill.

Bruh Kelly’s conduit idea is goated. So many possibilities for conflict and buddy cop sort of relationship. Just an old dude who’s wise but he’s gotta get his power from moron who never shows up on time 😂

@josephplayspickleball

2 ай бұрын

Almost like shapers and shapecrafters in Five Kingdoms.

@courtneyharris1006

2 ай бұрын

it'd be so cool to see a psychological thriller that's a crazy 2v2v2v2 cat n mouse game

@nynvib276

2 ай бұрын

I've never been mad at you Lennie...

@dlane.21

2 ай бұрын

You should check out soul eater, it's an anime with a similar power system based off weapons and meisters

@user-iv4fs2ch2u

2 ай бұрын

​@@courtneyharris1006 love the pfp Maybe I should write a DOOM-inspired magic system lmao

My favorite magic system (still in development) comes from a KZreadr named MonsterGarden. Magic comes from technology borne of war. A special organ is implanted into people who become mages and it slowly begins to disfigure their bodies, becoming tall, gaunt, and inhuman. Healing magic uses a disc shaped focus to radiate slow, regenerative waves to those around them, but it can have the nasty side effect of giving the healing mage tumors all over their body as it constantly regenerates their skin. Destructive magic uses a pinpoint focus such as a gun barrel or a finger cap known as a thimble. Curses run rampant against those who fight magic users, where the "witch hunters" become far more disfigured than any mage.

@lks_mobile

7 ай бұрын

That sounds very cool, thanks for recommending it! :)

@samuelhunter4631

6 ай бұрын

Nice to see someone mention Monster Garden. I found the page by accident, but damn their world building is so unique and bizarre it's fun to imagine

@darkness2086

5 ай бұрын

@@samuelhunter4631same I just saw their first video and enjoyed the whole idea

@monlenz

5 ай бұрын

appreciate the mention! If only i knew this was a competition happening, I'd gladly join haha. doubt id win though cuz there are such great ideas here.

@njieenowjonathan976

5 ай бұрын

no wayyy. i was just from that channel before clicking this video

For Alan's Mnemancy/Memory Magic, it would be really cool to see an element of the magic wherein the user must invoke a memory that directly correlates to what they're trying to accomplish; if they want to kill an opponent, they'll have to remember and relive the memory of them killing someone in the past, or of them watching a loved one die. It would be a great way to give character backstory without large info-dumps.

@Alterego-ne7oi

7 ай бұрын

what would you call this? it's interesting hmm...@@ViktorJHoel

@Raven_VII

7 ай бұрын

reminds me of the giver with the mc remembering a cold memory to lower his body temperature.

@joshuaadams3148

7 ай бұрын

@@ViktorJHoelI’m robbing this😅 (I’m making a magic system in which power is related to knowledge and memories)

@ArantyrDarkhand

7 ай бұрын

I would do well at that system... ive a "perk" I dont feel a lot, deep per say, i live in stability(im very logical and kinda cold or so say my family), but when sh it trigger a emotional response... i create a perfect memory. Lol ive a memory has a baby... with my father playng with me(yes i was a baby), according to my mother... its impossible becouse we moved from that place, when i was 6 months. But we were ultra poor so theres no pictures from the time so it was impossible for me to know. And i told her how everything was and what my father did, the disposition of the furniture(by the way NOT CONVENTIONAL, again due to extreme poverty and very small house). SH IT thing its i loved only one person... and the best and worse moments, are there too. Dont to smell and touch.

@dustbowlboy

Ай бұрын

ohh and the more experiences you have and remember the more power potential you have

Been waiting for this!! The true magic system is the magic of the human imagination to devise such magic systems… Brilliant.

@Jed_Herne

8 ай бұрын

Agreed

@VandarAlden

8 ай бұрын

The true magic system is the friends we wrote along the way

@747puppyfat

8 ай бұрын

That… and magnets.

@cyberfalcon2872

8 ай бұрын

​@@VandarAldenI was about to say this lmao

@hasanmuttaqin464

7 ай бұрын

wait.... now... that's a cool magic system

It's so devastating that your typical card magic/pokemon and just a straight-up mythology went further than memory magic. The colored tears magic and heart beat magic where indeed awesome.

I personally really liked the second one about wielders and conduits. There's a lot of potential for character conflicts

@lks_mobile

7 ай бұрын

I mentioned it in another comment already, but there's a book called Witchmark. It's the first in a trilogy iirc, they use that kind of magic system and I really enjoyed it. It has a lot of interesting intrigue and a social system based on the idea. You might want to check it out :)

@Candlemancer

6 ай бұрын

I'm definitely borrowing that concept, not for a whole magoc system but for a specific subculture within that system

Ive been studying this video for about 6hrs now main points: @2:20 include interesting consequences @6:44 build magic with interesting narrative possibilities @20:29 think about the visual nature of your magic The last point to me is the hardest to achieve in all fiction, anime for example is saturated with martial arts visual presentation of magic It's ultra rare for a different visual presentation like for example Naruto that uses hand signs gestures to activate the magic

@tigretora1

8 ай бұрын

And also... limitations, tradeoffs a historical reason for the magic explore the impact on society/behaviors (subset of narrative possibilities) evolution of magic

@electricisnthereatthemomen6535

7 ай бұрын

@@tigretora1chainsaw man is the PERFECT example of all of this. it’s magic system of making contracts with devils is glorious

@arkana9684

26 күн бұрын

I made one magic system that is based on the ink and the drawing styles that I think would be interesting 1. Consequences: Your blood is ink, so you have to use it wisely to not suffer hemorragy. 2. Narrative possibilities: As is based in the artists, every character has a reason to have the powers they have 3. Visual Nature: Unlike other magic systems that are martial arts visual presentation, this is art visual presentation

@enigmatic2878

16 күн бұрын

Actually, I'd argue that anime *doesn't* do visual representation of magic at all, let alone martial arts. Okay, I don't watch as much anime, but really if you look at the popular shounen stories, only a few get some sort of visual representation to activate magic. The rest mainly just aim their shots, open their palm, and pew! Really, so far, the only anime I've seen with significant physical ways of magic activation in anime are the hand signs in Naruto, creating the alchrmy circle thing in Fullmetal Alchemist, and (by technicality, not an anime) bending in Avatar: TLA and LOK. Avatar definitely struck as being one of the only stories I've seen having magic be activated through a very visual way through martial arts

Honestly... I'd nearly forgotten about the competition. I was grateful to make it in the video at all, nevermind top 8. This was fun. The winner deserved it, though. Looking forward to reading his book when it's done.

@Jed_Herne

8 ай бұрын

Great work, Alan!

@lks_mobile

7 ай бұрын

Yours was one of my favourites! :) I think Mnemancy is amazing to really make the personality and history of characters stand out and the stakes are great too. Also there's so many potential story ideas.

@omegaminoseer4539

2 ай бұрын

Alan, you were robbed, to be honest. I would have bet my firstborn child that you were going to win the competition. Your magic system was so interesting for discussion that I would pay money to read any work you have with it as a guiding principle.

@biosavat9475

2 ай бұрын

​@@omegaminoseer4539Can I get him ? My 3 month old labour force is really lacking and its taking a toll on production 😢

Alan's idea of MNEMANCY was awesome! The idea of memory fueled magic where the memory is erased after its used means that the characters will be actually sacrificing parts of themselves and their personalities to achieve their goals - I feel like that was a very interesting direction that he didn't get to touch on enough. The idea of hypothetical situations where someone blank slates their memories by doing some powerful spell is very interesting. Also the world would be full of adrenaline junkys trying to have powerful enough experiences to make good memories that can fuel future spells - like in this world there would be so many amusement parks and roller-coaster and exotic foods and experiences so that mages can stock up on good emotive memories to fuel their craft without risking forgetting their parents or other important memories... loads of compelling narrative options here that I feel the pitch didn't get a chance to fully articulate or he'd of won :)

This was so fun to follow. I was ooing, ahhing, cheering, and booing when you made a decision I disagreed with. At the end I couldn’t decide who I liked more between the memory magic, the heartbeats, and the 12 gods lineage magic. Glad I didn’t have to make that impossible choice! Such a brilliant project. Congrats to Ethan I can’t wait to read his book someday!

@ytrewqfdsacxz3181

7 ай бұрын

the 12 gods one kinda felt like a rip off of the magic system of fire emblem 3 houses with the gods in place of the elites

@drafezard7315

3 ай бұрын

@@ytrewqfdsacxz3181 It's a pretty basic/tropey magic system in general. I don't know why it made it to the final 8 and I have no idea how the magic cards one made it past round 1...

3:44 Witch Hat Atelier 3:53 Nurarihyon no Mago, Chainsaw Man (demons get more powerful the more awesome and fear-inspiring they are) 4:49 Valvrave (piloting a mecha costs memories) 5:29 Card Captor Sakura 7:45 Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, Riordan books Series, Stand Still Stay Silent 8:10 Soul Eater (soul wavelength resonance) 9:40 Persona game series, Black Rock Shooter,

@deityevoid

3 ай бұрын

witch hat atelier is so good

@badribiruduraju2614

2 ай бұрын

also 2:59 fullmetal alchemist

I'm so happy Veritachemy made it to the 3rd round + got a shout out! Congrats to the winner & to everyone who made the video. I hope I get to see many of these systems built out in the future! 😁

@esFjord

8 ай бұрын

Also, getting the points for originality made my year.

@anthonywritesfantasy

8 ай бұрын

Super interesting system!

@esFjord

8 ай бұрын

@@anthonywritesfantasy Thank you! It is definitely one my favorites I've worked on. :D Now that I got confirmation that it is at least decent I really need to finish this book now lol

@benedict6962

7 ай бұрын

I like it a lot. The addition of ancient creatures as cauldrons essentially puts a spin of unique personal or family magic, while maintaining a fixed structure across the world as a whole.

@adamnemo42

4 ай бұрын

Gonna be honest I'm actually disappointed you didn't make it to the final round. You were one of my favorites here and I hope to read your book some day.

Magic systems scare the bejeebus out of me, though I have 2 different worlds that have systems I need to work on and figure out. You all have not only inspired me, but also have given me the confidence to play with and develop the systems I have vague concepts of. Thank you all so very much. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.

@cindellednic

8 ай бұрын

Find the magic system episodes of Brandon Sanderson's Writing Excuses podcast! Extremely good advice there.

Thanks for hosting this contest! Very happy I got to be a part of it. The girl possessed by the god of yesterdays and tomorrows being a DETECTIVE is such a cool idea... Like a little Sherlock, unstuck in time... Yes, yes...

Jan with his Lacrymaturgy was definitely my top choice! I wanna read the book immediately that's such a cool concept and such a powerful scene I almost teared up already!

@saparapatepete

6 ай бұрын

i think it may work better on a visual media like comics or an animated series, but i also dig the potential it has.

I like that Jakop starts the recording with a “hear me out” that was just funny to me at least a little bit

mnemancy is definitely my favorite concept its reminded me of a recent read 'the embroidered book' that has a similar system of sacrificing love, memories and affection among other things (*body parts)

@Jed_Herne

7 ай бұрын

I've done a few podcast interviews with Kate Heartfield (the author of The Embroidered Book). She's awesome - has been a real mentor to me over the years!

Owen's Card-based system was my favorite. Card-based magic systems might be a classic for a reason. It's an easy way to add a large variety of spells to the system overall, while still limiting what the characters can do, whether by the cards having a cooldown or simply the number of cards a single character can have.

@salfontana5712

8 ай бұрын

Owen's was indeed awesome!

@DB-pw9md

8 ай бұрын

Yup, that was my favorite

@Aaa-vp6ug

7 ай бұрын

Maybe add variety through forged and counterfeit cards and card combinations. Plus cards that act as dummy versions of other cards

@NdrillSnake

7 ай бұрын

His system is interesting, but reminded me too much of Cardcaptor Sakura...

@aliencommander632

7 ай бұрын

Wizard 101 the Comic

did anyone else think the cost of the memory magic would be giving up that memory in order to cast the spell? small spells wouldn't be a huge deal because you could just forget little things like what you had for breakfast. but larger/more powerful spells that require core memories could cause you to forget the birth of your child, your first kiss, your dad dying, ect ect. eventually you'd just be a husk with no core memories or identity, really interesting trade off!

@finchfamily7268

Ай бұрын

This reminds me of Bari from Guardian Tales

card based magic is Yu-gi-oh without Egyptian background and childish battling/tcg variances lol. I like Mnemancy! Soil of the Ancients sounds very cool too! Could have a lot of herbology/botany based stuff

@VandarAlden

8 ай бұрын

I was thinking about Yu-Gi-Oh as well as a game I think it was called lost kingdoms or something For the soil of the Ancients my brother thought it would be cool to have a plant based magic system and I had an idea about prophecy being a specific color because of the line in "We don't talk about Bruno" where it says your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read but transposed it to "red" so I started developing the prophecy fruit and the different ways a certain prophecy could be unexpected and then the other aspects of the plants magic system just came from thinking what would be other interesting effects the plants would have. And we thought about a lot of botanical concepts for how those could change the properties of the magic. Not a lot of that is set in stone yet though

@cindellednic

8 ай бұрын

Yeah honestly no hate for the card based magic guy because he's quite young but the idea is so overplayed that it shouldn't have been advanced without anything more original incorporated.

Thank you so much for giving us this opportunity, Jed! Even if some of us were not featured, I know I can speak on their behalf in our appreciation for this whole idea! It definitely helped me understand my ideas more!

The way that you can listen to their pitch and then convey to us WHY it is good is so helpful for us that want to learn how to build a good magic system. Great video!

I was pretty dismissive of Grayson and the Devil's Pastime at first (I was like, you didn't just invent the concept of making a deal with the devil) but the more I think about it, that magic system would have some really far reaching implications that make for a rich story, full of tension and intrigue. A world in which every singer, athlete, business owner, or even high school quarterback, might have actually made a deal with the devil to get there. And then every true crime story has the possibility that someone was just paying their contract as a motive... The sheer amount of paranoia, intrigue, and maybe even religious counter-fervor in a setting like that... could be really good. Arthmor's system, which I just refer to as trauma-mancy is also REALLY GOOD. I imagine a person who's terrified of dogs, being able to summon them to ravage their enemies. It makes a hypocrite out of anyone using the magic for combat purposes; that's really cool. A claustrophobe who can create pocket dimensions or opaque barriers... it sounds like a bad time for the characters BUT IN THE BEST WAY.

@EliasExists

5 күн бұрын

Just name it Phobomancy, aka the Mancing of phobias

Aw man, I really hope my 2nd and 3rd pitches didn't completely fall apart, haha. I was a last-second entrant and didn't realize there were further instructions in the submission process so I just hoped for the best, but much kudos to you for making it through to the very last-second entries like mine! Very glad also to have gotten featured (Book of Scribes) and to have at least passed the first two rounds(?)! 🙌 Congrats to the winner and all the others as well~ Lastly, thank you for doing this contest; it pushed my procrastinator self (😅) to spend time to finally flesh out the mechanics of how the Book of Scribes works, which had just been sitting in my head as a largely unexplored idea.

@ghostdreamer7272

6 ай бұрын

I really liked your idea @Caerulean ! I was wondering why it might not have gotten farther. Hope to hear more about it (or read about it in a story) sometime!

@Caerulean

6 ай бұрын

@@ghostdreamer7272 (KZread definitely keeps auto-removing my reply and I'm not sure which words trigger it. Here's another attempt.) Thank you! Since my other pitches didn't get shown, I got another opportunity to keep the details more secret 😅, so I'm not sure what I'm comfortable sharing. And my fantasy series is very early in its development so you would have to wait a long time. I can 🫴 my first two and a half chapters, though, or something. 📨 me.

@ghostdreamer7272

6 ай бұрын

@@Caerulean hey! I’d be happy to have a writing buddy. I’m just in some very early stages outlining of my own stuff

@ghostdreamer7272

6 ай бұрын

@@Caerulean oh also, what’s the best way to message you?

@Caerulean

6 ай бұрын

@@ghostdreamer7272 The word triggers an auto-removal; e-📨 me. 🙂 It's on my channel page.

Lacrymaturgy..... Is just, genius.

This was really fun to watch. So cool to see so much wonderful creativity.

What an amazing display of creativity. It was very inspiring and helped me realize that my magic system could use some work

Thanks to everyone who put the work into this contest. I am also inspired by the incredible amount of creativity!

It was so cool to see all these interesting ideas, and it even helped me to come up with a magic system of my own.

Hate that I missed this, and I hope you do another! This was such a fun way to test my system against others and refine it.

This is sincerely one of the best sources of worldbuilding, power systems discussion, and generally fantasy elements not just on KZread, but that I have found on the English internet (a freq commentor on TvTropes is another top tier world-building sage). I hope to find more like you ib my journeys, this, as always, is exceptional!

This was a lot of fun to participate in! Thanks for hosting :)

The lacrymatrurgy was my personal favorite, not only because it's a cool and unique idea but also because it completely shapes the world created by the author by establishing an impactful visual. The only caveat to it, imo, is the extent of the power Jan is describing in his example (but that's just an example, so, it's not a big deal). The idea itself is interesting, but it kinda creates issues with the credibility of the story, considering that someone who's capable of stopping time for long enough to befriend that creature would have access to much better options (things as simple as just collecting blue tears over the long period of time available to her alone). Still, very interesting system combined with a very interesting looking world. He's got a solid foundation for an interesting book, I think.

It was a joy to participate in this contest. I really got a lot of benefit from the timed pitch prompts. They helped me decide what were the important parts of my magic system and what could be let go of.

This was awesome! I would love to see this again. I wouldn't mind if it was an annual contest, even!

What a fun video!! Congrats to Ethan, I can’t wait to learn more!

The soil of ancients and the blood of the 12 gods were my favourite. I would definitely read those books! That memory one was also awesome.

@DragonRiderElf

Ай бұрын

Fr he’d give PJO a run for its money 100%

I would very much like to see a video of all the Round 1 pitches and your reactions to them!

I like the heartbeat and rhythms one! I had a similar magic system idea with vibrations and heart stats

I didn't expect to even be featured in the video, given that it's not the most original idea ever, but somehow I got THIRD!?!? This was a fun contest, thank you Jed for hosting!

@Jed_Herne

8 ай бұрын

Nice stuff!

@mcpainty5698

8 ай бұрын

You had a great pitch and it was wonderful to hear more about your idea! Amazing work, Owen!!

@WaterCanoe

3 ай бұрын

@@mcpainty5698 Yeah!

@devindaniels1634

2 ай бұрын

It may not have been a completely original idea, but you took it in a unique and original direction!

@DragonRiderElf

Ай бұрын

Honestly I despise all things anime and hearing Jed compare your idea to Pokémon really made me skeptical (mainly bc of my little brothers crazy obsession with Pokémon)… but I was EXTREMELY happy to see your idea go as far as it did!!! I loved everything about it! It was so intricate and had so much depth and backstory that I honestly wished it was a book so I could keep learning more! Congratulations and I am so happy for you!!

Magic systems with good narrative possibilities are definitely the best. This video was really helpful. Though I was confident in my system, it has helped point out a few glaring holes. I kind of wish this competition becomes a recurring thing every year or bi yearly, I'd love to enter if there is a next time (or possibly other world building competition types?).

@manuelfriend4060

8 ай бұрын

As a footnote, it's interesting to see so many magic systems that are based on contracts and familiars. Mine is also based on familiars lol. I think this is partly a shift in fantasy writing to magic systems that have a higher and clearly defined cost for the characters, as opposed to older magic systems which were typically just based on internal reservoirs which refilled over time. Such older systems had less opportunity for conflict and consequence. It also allows for balancing the power of magic and avoid the plot holes from OP systems we've seen in the past.

6:34 a reminder that a negative feedback loop is actually referring to a loop that oscillates between opposing states. In the example given, it would still be a positive feedback loop; feeding into the same direction. The loop would just have switched to a different direction.

This video is so helpful, just watching it and listening to people pitch their ideas helped me break down and consolidate my own magic system. I wound up seeing alot of the flaws I had and cutting out the excess, making it more cohesive. Now I have 4 magic system aspects that work together more fluidly.

What a cool video!! Didn’t know you were doing this. I hope you make a second edition.

I've been looking forward to this so much. :) They're all so interesting... I certainly don't envy the person with the difficult task of narrowing down all these great ideas to one, lol.

This competition was hella fun to participate in! I threw my hat in the ring to see what would land and to just get in the practice of trying out new things and couldn't have been happier with the results. All of these ideas were amazing, and I tip my hat to Owen who beat me out (I was credomancy) and got 3rd place! It is a really fun idea and I hope everyone who participated continues on with their work!

this is fantastic! loving your videos.

I really liked the visuals that Erics Veritachemy @8:49 idea summoned in my head. It directly paints a picture of a gritty dark world with glowing magic elements and corrupted characters. Nice one! Also feels like a really nice structure for video games and powerups in that one.

yay I made it to round 3. :D Thx Jed for the contest. Keep the good stuff coming.

This was such a fun thing to watch & see all the different ideas for magic systems! I wish mine had been more prepared to have entered, but ho-hum, there's always next time XD

my fave is the one based on memory, sacrifcing your memory for magic seems so cool and imagine the backstory of this and a villain who tests it's limits

Heartbeat magic... My favorite one, definetly. And his pitch was perfect!

That tears story was AMAZING, WILL buy the book, please publish it!!

there are so many interesting ideas here. very inspiring

@Jed_Herne

5 ай бұрын

Thanks dude! Was great fun to put this together. By the way - I love your channel. Keep up the great work!

I wish people do more of these video. It's interesting to hear people's magic systems and mabye inspire others to do the same

Coming from more of a gameable mentality, it’s interesting seeing how your evaluation differs from mine. Even for the really lore-heavy options, I can see how some offer story beats which would pace better in chaptered prose than in a game setting, and vice versa.

My magic system is an aura surrounding the users body that is based upon their personality and current mental state. For example angry, fire prideful, lightning with users powers changing as they grow, change, and experience tragedy or love. This applies to more than just basic emotions, with feelings such as fear, disgust, lust, love, and even hunger bringing a wide variety of different abilities to the table

Entries that remind me the most of _Mage: The Ascension_ - - _Credomancy_ - Veritachemy - *_The Lay of Things_* - Star-Weaving

I’ve been putting off working on my magic system, but after this video came out I finally got it done

I was about to disagree with the decision of first place. but then I realized Jed is so much better at seeing the possibilities the systems open up. even with a 90sec pitch most people won't realize the full depths of the systems that the writer has in his mind. thanks for making me realize this

Whaaaaaat? Credomancy sounded amazing! Also, I NEED to read the book about the 12 gods starting different bloodlines. That one and Ethan's were my favorites.

@IKMTIrr

7 ай бұрын

For real the presentation was beyond image inducing

I didnt get to submit my idea due to my anxiety but it was so fun seeing everyones great ideas

Heavenly fragments seems so cool! The book that it will be featured in is called secrets of the silver clouds

I wish I could have entered this but I i didn't even know about your channel yet. Happy that nothing seemed close to how my system worked in all of this, but had some characteristics that sounded like it would make for a good one. The rhythm heart beat was definitely very interesting as well as the other two finalists for sure with a few more too. Hope to read their stories when they get them published.

i wish we could hear more of kelly's magic system it sounded so great

Thanks for this contest! It was a lot of fun to create my submission and helped me solidify many of my ideas for my story. Really enjoyed seeing everyone elses ideas. Any chance I could get some feedback on my magic system even though it wasn't featured? I felt like I did at least as well as many of those featured and I'd love to know what parts of my submission didn't appeal to you or could have been improved?

@cameronsalas2091

8 ай бұрын

He most likely views our submissions in full, but for the sake of the video and not making it two hours long, he was probably forced to cut a lot of submissions, but if you think that your magic system was great and well thought out then I would personally love to hear about it!!

@bennysundance175

8 ай бұрын

I hope he will make another video, featuring the others. maybe without contest?

@narkopraxis602

8 ай бұрын

@@bennysundance175 I would love that. Even if it was only ten at a time spanning multiple videos in order to reach everyone.

@anonymousanonymous850

7 ай бұрын

He also has limited time and energy, its common for this type of event to trim/cut the less competitive ones

I have quite a few magic systems, but one literally draws its power from bonds and emotions. The MC can see and tap into the emotions of others to use benevolent bonds to uplift and malevolent bonds to hinder. His enemies learn to use the power, too, and it becomes a battle of who can twist their own emotions best.

There are so many good ones here. Some of these seem like very exploitable with potential plot holes, but overall very good ideas

I wish I heard about this!! I could have entered mine, although my book is not even close to being done, I have a pretty good idea of how the magic works. Let me know what you think! Three sentence description: use the energy from another world to cast magic. You can only conjure, infuse, or transmute elements. No healing, barrier, or flight magic. Watered down version: there are two world coexisting with each other. Mages of either world can draw energy from the other to cast magic. This energy can be anything from the other world, plants animal, even people. So long as you send the time absorbing them, you can store them within your spirit to cast magic. The actual effects of magic aren't too impressive compared to other fantasy books. You can create, infuse, or transmute elements. That's it. This means that you cannot create velocity out of nowhere. You can't just create and throw a fireball. Sure you can conjure an explosion, but it won't go anywhere. You'd probably just blow yourself up. To "cast" a fireball you'd have to infuse an explosion into an arrow head and shoot someone. That's conjuration and infusion. Transmutation is where you change something onto something else. Say you where about to get slashed in the neck, transmute your skin into metal. More details: There are two separate worlds, each began as mirrors of the other. The beings of one world inhabit the other at the same time. The physical body remains in one world whilst the spirit remains in the other world. The spirits of one world are naturally invisible and incorporeal to the native beings of the other. Most creatures are also unaware that they even have a spirit. Despite that the only way to absorb energy from another world is through the spirit. The original body must become aware of their spirit and thus be able to guide material from one world into their spirit. Once they absorbed the material, they can use it to cast magic. It's like they are a passageway to conjure the material they consumed into a physical thing. If they absorbed a stick from the other world, they can create a certain amount of wood in their own world. Once the magic is used, it will leak back into its original world, restoring the balance. This means that all magical effects are temporary and all types of magic that can be used varies from where you absorb it from. So if a spirit absorbed a tree, a pile of wood and leaves would return to that spot after a while. Only, they wont come back in the same position as they once were. Now the act of absorbing material from another world is slow. Whist you are absorbing, your spirit will become visible to the natives of the other world. But they can't do anything to your spirit. Nothing except moving the physical body can stop them from absorbing material. The only people who can use their spirits to effect the other world are the [very original and cool name, I'll just use X as a place holder]. The X are the ones who can fully project their minds into their spirits and detach them from their physical bodies location. Doing so, however makes the spirit vulnerable to attacks. That, however, doesn't mean that it's easy to kill an X. Because they are conscious in the other world, they can absorb and release magic as if they where breathing. The tunnel between them and their power source is now none existent. Another benefit of the X is that they can see the status of anyone's spirit with their physical eyes. Whist active, they can see the location of spirits, x-ray vision, and if the spirits are storing any magic. They can also see what kind of magic is being stored. In order to become a mage, you must be able to sense and influence the other world. Anyone is capable in doing this, it's only a matter of belief in themselves and the supernatural (Kinda like the pixie thing in berserk). You must also be at one with yourself. You must truly know who you are, and accept all aspects of yourself. That way your spirit is open to accepting energy from another world. To become an X is to infuse your mind with your spirit which is quite dangerous to do. Your consciousness can easily get lost along the way. If i does get lost, you die. One you infuse your mind, tearing away from your original position is excruciatingly painful. Weak minded individuals could faint from the pain and be lost forever. The odds of becoming a mage is 1/1000. The odds of a mage becoming an X is 1/10000. Feeling of casting: When casting, you feel an intense hunger. Your spirit is emptied and wants to be filled. You naturally seek the consumption of the other world. My main character starts as an X, but not as a mage. How did that happen? You'll have to read my book and find out... once I'm finished in 2-5 years!

@lks_mobile

7 ай бұрын

I love your magic system, especially since it's so well restricted. You clearly put a lot of thought into it.

@Vexx263

7 ай бұрын

@@lks_mobile Thanks! Rant incoming: I created this system to match the type of world i wanted to simulate. I wanted to create a more gritty system that cannot bs its way out of a tough situation. Things like healing magic and out of nowhere special moves ruin the realistic feel i want to go for. Healing magic especially ticks me off, the bad guys super powerful attacks never feel like they have consequences when you can just pop a healing potion. If your arm gets a sever cut on it, it will at best leave a scar and at worse cripple the limb. Undefined power systems are also annoy me, like how am I supposed to know how strong a punch can get when the next guy always seems to punch harder? There should be a cap on how much damage you can take and deal, that way fights don't boil down to "who's ability/fist is better". I want everyone's abilities to have the same limitations so that they have to use their brains to win a fight. Other other details: I have thought about the system a bit more, and have a few things to add. The spirit form of an X can vary based on who they accept themselves to be. If an X where to believe themselves a monster, their spirit form would grow horns or fangs. If they believed themselves to be a righteous knight, their spirit could take the form of some plate armor. Since the main character starts as an X, he would be able to see the changes in his spiritual form. It's like a real-time view on his mental state. Givin that he isn't a mage, the change in form won't benefit him much, but I hope it'll be a subtle way for readers to gain a deeper level of insight on the main character. This could also be a cool plot point, what if on his home planet, MC comes across X from the other world. This X believes himself to be human, so he appears as such. Only when the X is riled up does his true form slip out.

@lks_mobile

7 ай бұрын

@@Vexx263 I totally understand what you mean with soft magic systems sometimes making things seem inconsequential and destroying the stakes of a story. Personally I'm using a relatively soft magic system for my current project because there's not a lot of magic in my world and it is supposed to be stupidly overpowered to the point of being very dangerous and barely controllable. Consider it my fantasy version of an atomic bomb... not really something to be used on a daily basis. I really like the plot idea you mentioned btw. It would definitely be an unexpected twist!

@Vexx263

7 ай бұрын

@@lks_mobile Thanks for reading my comments! And the idea that this uncommon magic has the potential power of an atomic bomb sounds like a cool set up to a magical fallout scenario. Imagine is suddenly the magic suddenly became common? How would society survive then?

@TryingtoTellYou

Ай бұрын

This reminds me of Bakugan lol. Bakugan's alien world being tied to the real world didn't really work that well because quite frankly, why would we care if some distant planet blew up?

Thanks for doing all this Jed! I was curious if you'd be willing to put out the unedited 6 hour version of this video?

@beastwriter3915

8 ай бұрын

Yes! My brother even asked if we could have a compilation of all the pitches hehe

@belowewrites

8 ай бұрын

Yes! Would honestly be v excited to watch :)

@VandarAlden

8 ай бұрын

Or even just a gallery of the short descriptions somewhere

@Caerulean

8 ай бұрын

Yeah, I would like to see at least the entirety of the 3rd and 4th rounds. :D

@fightingprawn8918

8 ай бұрын

I would watch it

Love all of Jed's work!

8:30 in and I want to use the plant one. He said using the specific plant creates the magic and heart beats is awesome. Reminds me of nuruto kind of.

One I’ve been mulling over is based on the draw system from ff8. Everything contains magic, creatures or the land or even constructs. Your average person can draw upon these natural abilities and either use it right away (cast) or store it for later use at a more appropriate time. There’s a few people who essentially can skip this “draw” the magic and use it right away. They would be based on the sorcereresses.

Many great entries! My favorite was Soil of the Ancients! Kinda bummed mine wasn't featured. Did you do like a first sifting before going ahead? I was already wondering how you'd manage to review over 400 entries...

Well, I'm glad I got into round 2 at least lol. Better luck next time. Thanks for doing this!

Congratulations, guys! The systems are great. I hope to read your stoties one day.

My top three definitely were the pantheon with the 12 gods, the heartbeat and rhythms one, and the tears/color one.

I need a video on your thoughts about the Nasu verse magic system. Hard magic system to the limit, yet so many intricate details that allow for diversity🙏😀

The memory magic is my favorite as a concept. I can think of a few themes one could borrow of how one copes with painful memories like Eternal Sunshine for the spotless mind or one that speaks to the pangs of dementia. But as far as the story and Magic concept, the 12 gods and origins compelled me the most. This was a fun watch!

I would´ve loved to see more of the one were 2 people must work together to operate the magic

Alongside writing books, I think your experience writing a game might be of use for Owen and his card-based system. He could adapt his system using 'RPGmaker', 'MonMae' or 'Yal's Monster Collector Engine'. Obviously making a game is difficult, but I think making a JRPG might be a possible goal because there's a lot of people online who have tried their hand at it already, and there's a growing scene of games inspired by Pokémon style mechanics.

This was a lot of fun to participate in. Thanks Jed!

@Jed_Herne

8 ай бұрын

You're welcome, Nicholas!

This encyclopedic knowledge would be a great tool for the community of writers.

I loved Sarah’s Credomancy idea!! So interesting

Honestly a lot of tremendously creative ideas here, I have to say the one I found most intriguing was Kelly's Magia Universalis. While it shares some similarity with other systems (like the weapon/meister dynamic in the anime "Soul Eater" for example) it was the one that spoke to me the most.

Some cool ideas I might incorporate into my own system. My system is like a programming language so it comes with pretty much everything from hacking to AI. People develop devices that are analogous to computer components and they have limits to the amount of processing they can do as well as efficiency and heat production. Brain based memory is twice as fast, higher capacity and efficient but misuse could result in loss of personal memory or even brain damage.

Gosh! People are creative, I've thoroughly enjoyed this video 👏👏

so many of these were really cool ideas

The Lay of Things was my favourite. Really captivating in just how political struggle overlaps with the magic system. The scene he portrayed for instance. I could imagine that the empire's "test" is at once a way to solve a real problem such as a drought. But by intertwining it with a prophecy that is part of the empire's religion and thus politics and thus magic, the mere act of going along with it puts the cult leader's magic as subservient to the empire's. That by weaving his story in to the tapestry of the empire's, he makes a political misstep and strengthens the empire instead. That the empire is an old hand at hostile syncretic takeovers. Where they've been maintaining prophecies and rituals for centuries that have been carefully crafted such that if you step in to a role within certain prophecies, not only are you strengthening the empire's cult, but you also take on the trappings and weaknesses of that role. The fated invincible warrior of the old stories? If you can convince the populace that the new upstart with the defensive magics is as such, suddenly the magic around their ankle becomes surprisingly brittle. etc. It feels rife for a story about political subterfuge, done through both underhanded political movements but also overt magics to force certain political realities in to play.

I'll never ever reveal my own magic system even for 100000 bucks😂

Equal levels of inspiration and "well, guess my ideas weren't that unique". Anyway, I loved the video!

Please do run this contest again. I was going to enter, but I was too late, and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one. You don't have to offer the prize again, but I still want to see more of what people come up with. Speaking of "what other people came up with," is there anywhere where we can look at the systems that didn't make it into the video?