1) How often do you get to meet up with friends? (need for attention and community) 2) Can you and your partner really talk together? (attention and intimacy) 3) How are you sleeping these days? (mind body connection) 4) Are you happy with your diet? (mind body connection) 5) How much exercise are you getting? (mind body connection) 6) Is there anyone who you feel really understands you, and is close to you? (intimacy) 7) What choice do you have about what happens in your life? (control and security) 8) Do you have a clear sense of where you want to take things in life? (purpose, what gets me out of bed in the morning) 9) Do you feel excited by stuff in your life? (challenge purpose meaning) 10) What involvement do you have with people around you? (community and status)

@NikhilMathew122333

3 жыл бұрын

no no no no no no no no no no can i get a genuine advice?

@gepisar

3 жыл бұрын

Im same as @Nikhil K ... 1) Never, 2) No Partner, Sleep fine, but only at the point of exhaustion, diet - ambivalent, no exercise, no one understands!, no choices - at the whim of life, no purpose, no goals, no motivation, no intent, i actually dread excitement - the heart pounds too much and i really dont like that - i prefer the baseline these days, and no involvement except randomly leaving comments on youtube videos - so, thats about the last 10 years...

@IMVOLDERMORT

3 жыл бұрын

No friends, no partner, I skip alot of meals, I don't exercise, maybe one person understands me but they are fading away due to a relationship, no, no ,no ,no ,no

@vk-wm2hx

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Actually i need to take my cousin fo therapist fr mental il ess but she is not accepting....is der any mental helath assessment chart and score....to show her and make her understand that she need therapist

@claddaghclare22

3 жыл бұрын

Really helpful. Thanks.

I.T. Professionals say, “Always check the Simplest possibilities first. Is the computer plugged in? Are the wires all firmly connected?” It saves so much time.

@0ddSavant

2 жыл бұрын

That checks out. Carry on.

@Takezo.D.Shinmen

2 жыл бұрын

Totally true, the number of times printers are just not plugged in is unbelievable.

@marquessitsolutions7524

Жыл бұрын

Haha I had to say it

@_DeadlyNightshade_

10 ай бұрын

"Have you tried turning it on and off again" - IT Crowd

When I've been in therapy, I was never asked any of these sorts of questions and always felt something was missing. Now I know why! Thinking back to my counselling training I don't remember being taught to ask this either, not in the way you explain. Seems so obvious and fundamental, like "have you plugged in your computer"?

I was depressed, I still am, I used to focus on different things but it took me years to identify and prioritise my primal needs and this video clarifies it. I find that I don't meet a lot of these targets but am enthusiastic to working on them.

@gusgrizzel8397

4 жыл бұрын

Do something hard. Learn programming. Learn an instrument. Learn a song. Draw something. Do mathematics. Doing something hard, and even conquering it 50% will give you something you cannot buy.

@TomTomDam

3 жыл бұрын

​@@gusgrizzel8397 I'd like to add something to your statement. I would say do something new, but start small. Then, gradually raise the difficulty over time so that you are improving, and at the same time, you still enjoy doing it.

@trillionaireman9016

3 жыл бұрын

How are you doing now?

@boxy_brxden6659

Жыл бұрын

Hey are you doing better now?

@kashamkeltuma

10 ай бұрын

How are you doing now?

Fantastic resource. Great video. I know in part about the damage done when our basic needs aren't met, but hadn't given much thought to make meeting the primal needs a priority. I am enthusiastic to paying attention to my clients' fuel gauge. Thanks

He's got it spot on. I can categorically say that I have none of these things, which would explain my deep depression and why I feel no point in continuing the intense, never-ending pain. I feel totally trapped.

@rafeeqwarfield9690

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, sounds miserable. Sounds like hell on earth. I would probably feel even worse if I categorically had none of these. Whew that would be too much 😵‍💫

@StrongScholar

Жыл бұрын

you got this!! let me know if you ever want to talk

@matthewnorris203

10 ай бұрын

I get it man. I’m sorry you’re feeling trapped.

@challo8067

3 ай бұрын

You are the lock. AND the key!!!

A very insightful analogy of the car and the fuel sir. Thank you so much for presenting us with such simple yet powerful questions that will really prevent us from overlooking the obvious!

Wow! What a fantastically simple and to the point video! This will really help me with my practice! Thank you!

Brilliant, thank you. There’s magic in questions-they seem to always elicit an inner search and that’s valuable in any setting.

You are so kind and soft spoken. It’s relaxing just listening to your voice.

Very insightful and love your calm way of speaking it helps put one in a peaceful state of mind!!

@kenitcimm3467

3 жыл бұрын

Makes things so clear and matter of fact.

I think this is great and matches what I've asked - SERP, Sleep, Exercise, Relationships, Purpose. Too often purpose is overlooked.

This video is really helpful for therapists struggling in this area!

Hey Mark, I'm Hanan, a graduate student of school psychology from Indonesia. I just wanna say that this channel is amazing! I plan to watch all of your videos to learn more about counseling. Thank you so much!

Returning to the counseling profession s/p a multi year hiatus, these videos, this channel, and YOU are EXACTLY what I needed! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

1) How often you meet your friends? 2) How you are sleeping these days ? 3) Are you happy with your diets ? 4) Do you have clear sense of where your life is going ? 5) Do you feel excited when you wakeup? 6) Can you and your partner talk to each other? 7) How much exercise are you getting these days? 8) What choices do you have in life? 9) Do you feel excited by the stuff in your life? 10) What involvement do you have with people around you?

@PaulBaird

4 жыл бұрын

Question 5 is completely wrong - it should be Who are you close to that really understands you ?

@gusgrizzel8397

4 жыл бұрын

Unless you are a millionaire, why would you be excited about going to work every day? It's called work for a reason.

@gusgrizzel8397

4 жыл бұрын

All of those questions are a set up to make you feel like your life is boring.

@PaulBaird

4 жыл бұрын

Gus Grizzel - do you think your life is boring based on your responses to the questions ?

@gusgrizzel8397

4 жыл бұрын

@@PaulBaird I would not ask someone those questions. They are a set up to make someone feel like they have "a bad life".

Yes! Context is so important. Answering these questions could save many people from incorrect diagnosis and unhelpful treatments. ❤

This is fantastic, thank you for sharing ❤

This man is so insightful and has helped me immensely!

Loved this❤️❤️used this for my own self help session thank you mark!!

very enlightening. thank you!

Thank you! I will use these questions going forward.

I've made notes and I'm going to dictate this material on my smartphone with my voice to ensure it becomes part of my knowledge quicker. Lifesaving stuff indeed. Thank you!

This is excellent!! Thank you! 💖

Thank you ! Very informative and helpful

Simply Loved the content and your presentation Mark. God bless you 🙏🙏

Hi just seen this video I am a level 4 trainee counsellor, and I feel this will help me with my sessions with my peers, than I can be signed off for my training. I have difficulty engaging with the client and keeping the time limit to 50 minutes. I hope I get better at this, Thank you for the upload.

some of these questions felt like closed questions, some not though! I did really enjoy this, thank you.

@David-gv3wx

4 жыл бұрын

In my opinion, some closed questions are fine, particularly at an intake session when the counsellor is really trying to learn basic facts about the client. Indeed, sometimes even necessary. Too many closed questions though are not good as it comes across as an interrogation.

This is a great video. I plan to use your ideas in this video and your others with my clients.

Brilliant man!

Thanks for that video, my husband died two years ago, although I’ve moved on and making the best of life, I sometimes feel sad and not sure of myself, what this video has taught me, is I have to look and see what I’m not doing to make my life more fulfilling, as you say, “look for possible reasons or “fuel in the tank” and the one that came across was I’m not having enough friends. This insight has made me more aware, that I can feel more positive and has put a more prospective on my feelings. Thanks again Deanne

Awesome Love the way you put these VITAL questions. The need for these needs begins in childhood (they are not wants but deep natural needs) and if a child's needs are not met they will usually go into the unconscious and may come out in the child and or grown up as manipulating others or as illness to get them because cannot ask for what we need for fear ec & are for many reasons and we may never know that we can ask or if learn how we can provide these needs for ourselves once we know we can & that we are worth and that we are entitled to them We have so much to learn and to heal Thank You for being part of the solutions & the Healing energy on this planet Big Blessings Thank YOU Thanks to the person who listed them Bless You too

These are valuable questions. However, sometimes negative answers (like having no friends etc.) are symptoms of deeper issues: WHY does that person not have someone to talk to? When you follow that trail, your client and you might unearth dysfunctional beliefs, attachment problems or even traumatic events. Used like that, these questions can jump start a therapeutic process. All the best to everyone!

very helpful!

Great video. Very helpful to getting the conversation started about clients and their basic emotional needs. I've been a follower of Uncommon Practitioners for awhile and I'm glad to have the videos as a resource for becoming a better clinician for those I serve.

I really do enjoy your videos and I am studying counselling now to become one ;) it helps a lot

Thank you! This was so useful!!!

Thank you, I am going to go to counseling and was wondering what I could expect when I go. This helps

@KingoftheJuice18

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you found someone good. Therapists are very different.

@Nyx773

2 жыл бұрын

I hope things worked out. Unfortunately, very few therapists will actually ask these seemingly obvious questions and will follow through. In my experience, 2 out of 12 success rate.

How is there not more comments on here... this is awesome stuff to help you connect with the people around you, your close family.

thank you💕

Intro til around 5:45. Questions begin at 5:47

I just read your article online. Great stuff! It's going to influence my clinical work.

Thank you Mark - another useful and timely video

Exercise won't cure the heart of your problems but the feeling you get after REALLY does help your mood. Once you start working out you want to see it so you cut out some foods and eat better. Then you start to notice numbers on the scale going down. Then you notice more stamina, then more muscle definition. You don't need to look like Arnold or the chick from biggest looser. You need to sweat though and actually feel tired afterwards. Focus on that and you WILL feel the amazing things your brain releases. Plus if you are mad you can channel that anger into fuel to lift with. Don't worry about getting skinny. Just get your sweat on higher intensity stuff. (Talk to your doctor first. I'm NOT a doctor or phycologist and won't be held liable to any injuries you get or if you drop of a heart attack)

Very well said. We tend to overlook these factors, especially in the medical world. I do want to ask, do sociopaths/psychopaths have basic emotional needs if they are said to be emotionless? The world “all” people made me question these things.

@annabella9039

3 жыл бұрын

Word*

very insightful. Do you have any book recommendations on this subject

@emersonbartholomew9562

3 жыл бұрын

Advanced techniques in psychotherapy was a good one

Thank you so much for helping us budding therapists 🙏🏽

@Medietos

2 жыл бұрын

Libra Status: Don't you get the help you need in the therapist-training???Although Teachers' Training education was not good at teaching us how to teach either.The only really good lessons were 3 days of Pedagogic Drama, giving us direct psycho-social experiences that enhanced human understanding, by a very live, warm, mature elderly pedagogue. He was able to teach lying on the floor, because he was so saturated with integer presence of mind and knew what he was doing (and why, of course). These questions could be used as essay-material by teachers in messy classes with many sabotaging pupils. That might solve it: both giving them this attention and letting them express their problems.

The Primal needs 1. To give and receive attention 2. To heed the mind body connection 3. Need for meaning in our lives 4. Need to make feel connected to community and making a contribution 5. Need for Challenge and creative 6. For intimacy 7. Need for a sense of Control and status. 8. Need for a safety and security in life.

Yes go to the SIMPLE things first 💯

Attention, Community, intimacy, MindBody, Control and Security Challenge, Purpose, Meaning, Status

I often find that my therapists are too soft with me. They say I’m a great person and say that I’m improving but that’s not what I need to hear. I have terrible social skills and have lots of room for improvement, so I wish they could just be upfront and tell me what I’m doing that could use improvement instead of beating around the bush.

Thank you for this very much appreciate

I'm thankful this video was recommended to me. I'm working with a narcissist and realize that the blocking of primal needs is a huge emotional frustration/demoralization for me. Lifestyle patterns have been an unhealthy coping mechanism with mind/body connection.

Always check the simplest possibilities first. Is the computer plugged in? Are the wires all firmly connected?

Wonderful! I work with children but I go through a similar line of questioning.

@jaiocchialini1420

4 жыл бұрын

Counselor Wolfe you’re absolutely beautiful as well!

@counselingwithcrafts8199

4 жыл бұрын

Jada Bright Thank you!!

I'm a counselor-in-training. However, you spoke directly into my life with all of my current issues that I need to overcome.

could you do some videos on how to address each deficit?

@howcomeihavesubs

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I also want to rqst

it s true that stress.. bad habits..junk foods..poor lifestyles contribute to illnesses

The Primal Human Needs! There are 9. I go over these frequently with my clients. Here's the link! www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blog/the-primal-human-needs

Amazing video, thank U very much :)

OMG……every question I was like, ok, stop asking,I already know my answer sucks when I hear the question 🤣

than you

Brilliant information, thank you

Fab, a holistic approach.

I am greatful that i found u , i am needing serious help

Im on my level 3 of counselling and i have found this really helpful thank you

@jazzgearty5439

3 ай бұрын

Hi Zoe im currently level 3 and swinging on a weekly basic what I want to do to do next out of level 4 or something else but wish I knew what the something else could look like? Feeling a bit lost…..how is level 4? Did you chose the right placement?

This was very helpful. Sometimes the obvious is right in front of our faces. Would you be able to recommend a therapist in Michigan while deals with chronic pain, spirituality and family issues? Thanks!!

Thanks for making this video.

Very very helpful questions. I'm asking myself now...

Thank you. Life is simple.

Very good.

Thanks for your excellent videos. Plan to apply your ideas and experiences in my practice. rS Lcsw

thank you!!

I'm waiting for an initial counselling appointment

Small talk 1. How often do you get to meet your friends?. ( Attention/community) 2. Can you and your partner really talk to the together. (Attention/intimacy) 3. Have you sleeping these days. (Mind/body connection) 4. Are you happy with your diet .(Mind/body connection) 5. How much exercise you are getting.(Mind/body connection) 6. Is there anyone in your life that you feel understand you.( Mind/Body connection) 7. What choice you have about what happens in our life.( Control/security) 8. Do you have a clear sense the way you want to take things in the life. ( Meaning/ purpose) 9. Do you feel excited by the life.( Challenge/ Purpose/ Meaning) 10. What involvement you have with people around you.( Comment/ status).

Thank you

If I answered these questions honestly, I'm afraid the therapist would flat out declare me a freaking lunatic

@MrSean737

3 жыл бұрын

I don't think he would

@zelastjoker

3 жыл бұрын

I'm currently making my way towards becoming a therapist. It would actually be interesting to hear your answers.

@rafasounds-qi5rm

3 жыл бұрын

@@zelastjoker If you would like to make this as an experiment, no strings attached, we could find a way to make contact.

Really wish I could get some REAL help. My Gp doesn't take mental health very seriously. I binge eat pretty much everyday. I was abused as a child and was given a number to call. They said they couldn't help. When people say there is help out there I'm still to see it. Doctors are so quick to diagnose depression but not to help

@whitneyshea8580

3 жыл бұрын

Are you able to find a therapist online?

@zelastjoker

3 жыл бұрын

Were you able to get the help you needed?

@Luv4Turbo

3 жыл бұрын

Psychology Today is a great resource for finding a therapist in your area who specializes in whatever issues you are experiencing.

@ghazalaali8342

2 жыл бұрын

Please try to get the help, of course it will help you. Change your doctor or report your doctor if you are not taken seriously. No doctor today's time and age should neglect their patient. If you can afford the counselling sessions find a counsellor online. Never think you are alone, don't let anyone put you down you were strong enough to mention on here about yourself well done, please get help.

Those are all good things, but as I grew up, the way my parents behaved made me believe I was not supposed to seek those things. When you absorb those kind of toxic messages early on, they stay with you.

Love this video, the ten questions were helpful.

Skip to 5:52

Big up young tsm🔥

Mine always says to me what’s the fear? Let’s unpack that . Etc

You can tell all sorts from small talk, also through body-language. Since learning about this stuff I've felt so much more powerful (in a good way). But I also relate to Jordan Peterson now. It's depressing to see people's problems and not being able to solve them

How to heal from Triggers within my cptsd obtained from dealing with a narcissistic sociopath for 9 years...

Can i get handouts?

Useful video but I don't like that it takes 5:44 to get to the actual questions. IMO a 1-2 minute intro would be enough.

@nihilisticmonkeydancing9806

4 жыл бұрын

true true

Just wondering how to contact this guy?

I would question the list of needs at the beginning. They do not ring true to me, but what do I know? I would therefore be interested in the reasoning behind this. In particular, and perhaps ironically, I have always thought having a meaning to life was often a bit of a drawback.

Your voice soothes my anxiety.

I'd like to know how he checked the timing be.t without taking the front of the engine apart 🤔

Why no videos on childhood trauma and neglect mark? Or kids being in care that felt more loved in care than by there mother.

currently, none of them.

@triggabun

4 жыл бұрын

Awww I am so sorry. One step at a time. I have been exercising consistently for months now. It has saved my sanity. I was just getting fatter and more unhappy. I walk about 2 hrs every day. Start there. The rest I am working on slowly. Some weeks are better than others but every little thing counts. I started by walking 2 times a week. Now I am out 5 days a week minimum. Have courage and faith.

what do you do when close to none of those needs are being met and you feel you have no control over havinsg them be met

ASPD and psychopath dun need intimacy with others. they just need the feeling of intimacy with themselves and their goals and sensations

👍

So once I answer all the questions. What’s next?

I am sorry to say that I find some of this a bit insulting. I ALWAYS check the obvious things first. By the time I go for help I have already exhausted all of the immediate possibilities. Then when I first see a therapist I have to plough through the same list of possibilties, all of which I have already examined, but from the therapist's perspective I am just blindly shooting down all of those oh-so-helpful suggestions. But I already tried them! And tried them! And again! That's why I came for therapy in the first place, because I haven't been able to figure it out! But I end up putting all my effort into arguing that I have already tried everything I can think of, along with everything the therapist is suggesting, and none of it has worked. I can't see any reason to believe that therapy ever does much of anything for anyone.

Does the car not tell you when the fuel is going to run out ?

@zelastjoker

3 жыл бұрын

Yes but he might not have been paying attention. The same with people, people tend to neglect certain aspects of their lives and don't realise it ,especially if they have busy and demanding jobs.

make the road safe for everyone communing in .......